EC Comics! It's An Entertaining Comic! Issue 34: May 1953

The EC Reign Month by Month 1950-1956
 34: May, 1953

Kurtzman

Mad #4

"Superduperman!" ★★ 1/2
Story by Harvey Kurtzman
Art by Wally Wood

"Flob was a Slob!" ★★ 1/2
Story by Harvey Kurtzman
Art by Jack Davis

"Robin Hood!" ★★
Story by Harvey Kurtzman
Art by John Severin

"Shadow!" ★★★ 1/2
Story by Harvey Kurtzman
Art by Bill Elder

Genuine twerp Clark Bent might clean out spittoons and vie for the frosty affections of “girl reporter” Lois Pain during working hours at the Daily Dirt, but when trouble arises in the fair city of Cosmopolis Clark stumbles his way into the nearest telephone booth to transform into the mighty “Superduperman”! The big boy in blue runs up against his match in strength when the previously goody-two-shoes Captain Marbles decides to use his mountain-punching powers for personal gain instead of saving kittens from trees. Thankfully our brave Superduperman is able to cunningly trick Captain Marbles into punching himself in the face, but even when in the guise of a hunky hero Clark finds out that Lois thinks he’s still nothing but a creep!

The lawyers at DC and Fawcett were out to lunch.
("Superduperman!")

This is a story I can appreciate more for what it is attempting to do rather than what it actually achieves. Setting the template for the outlandish superhero parody, “Superduperman” still suffers from a bevy of jokes that fall flat or are played out for too long (I found nearly everything leading up to Clark’s transformation to be more trying than funny). And say what you will about Wally Wood’s genius, but I’m not sure that he’s at his finest in the funny bone-mode.

Ramona Snarfle is one of those young all-American virgins caught in a romantic whirlwind of trouble the likes of which you would normally see in bad comic books (hmmm…): she can’t seem to choose between the simpleton charms of her butterfly-chasing childhood sweetheart Sheldon Flob or the devilish advances of bronze-skinned Rackstraw Him. After settling on Rackstraw, Ramona is pushed away by his rakish ways—which includes robbing banks and selling reefer to schoolchildren (!)—and runs towards the open arms of Sheldon… only to dump the slob for a more lucrative life of drug peddling to minor.

Like Peter, I didn’t even realize “Fob was a Slob” was the work of Jack Davis at all. I thought surely this was Harvey’s penmanship; the character of Sheldon in particular seems like something we’d see from him. Again, this is a story that’s more miss than hit, but you really have to hand it to those morally-corrupt degenerates at EC for having the cajones to end their romance tale with the sweet-faced heroine transforming into a snarling drug dealer offering joints to children. Easily gets a half star just for that!

The Senate Subcommittee was out to lunch.
("Flob was a Slob!")

Big John and Sparkie are two pals in Merry Olde England bemoaning their penniless states when they suddenly hit on the idea to seek out that great bastion of the impoverished, “Robin Hood”! The bloke steals from the rich and gives the booty to the poor… Big John and Sparkie are poor… and, well, as Einstein would say, “You do the math!” The bums run into Robin Hood in short order and tell him and his Merry Men about a caravan of well-to-do snobs that just passed through, which they verily loot and pick clean. When our heroic bums bemoan that they only have two cents to their name, Robin and Co. verily loot and pick them clean before going back for the shirt on their backs.

Fredric Wertham was out to lunch.
("Robin Hood!")

If any one story from this issue shows how it strains for the laughs, it’s this one. Sure there are some fair maidens gags about Snow White’s dwarves showing up in Robin’s gang and some comedic saxophone playing, but the rest of this yawner is pretty tepid stuff, as is John Severin’s tired-looking art.

Margo Pain, female companion of the mysterious Shadow (short for Lamont Shadowskeedeeboomboom), walks into a regular den of iniquity fit to bursting with gruesome thugs and hoodlums and starts yapping about her tight relationship with the invisible avenger. Shadow makes his (dis)appearance and a bloody shootout ensues with every evil-doer biting the dust and Margo getting a kick in the rear for her indiscretion. Things turn decidedly more serious when attempts on Margo’s life begin to occur, covering everything from falling pianos to exploding apples! Responding to a note sent on a messenger dagger, Margo and Shad journey to the outhouse at the end of the street where our brave heroine waits on a seat of dynamite while the invisible avenger checks outside for any evil-doers. But in actuality what he does is ignite the fuse to the TNT and blows Margo sky-high, effectively ensuring that his secret identity remains a secret!

Out from the muck of Mad’s fourth issue comes this genuine classic, a rib-tickling good time from start to finish that’s furnished with Bill Elder’s indelible, zany art and more background gags than you can shake a contaminated chicken leg from the Cafeteria Bacteria at. When I look at Bill Elder’s work in this series, I always end up saying to myself  that *this* is what a Mad story should look like, and what so many of the other artists seemed to be striving to do but could never pull off. You get the impression that dreaming up all this kooky and inane stuff came as easy as breathing to Elder. I could sit here and bullet point every joke that I found funny in “Shadow”, but I would only end up quoting the entire story. So go on and read it for yourself, ya creep! --Jose

Margo Pain has just lost her lunch.
("Shadow!")

Melvin II: After four issues of mostly tedious silliness, I'm beginning to think that either I have no sense of humor or I'm just the one person who isn't in on the joke. Oh, I'll admit that there are spots here and there that make me giggle (like the sign on the cafeteria window that reads: "The only restaurant where you can eat dirt cheap!" or Ramona Snarfle selling dope to school kids) but did these early issues really make readers laugh out loud? If not for the credits, I would have never pegged the artist of "Flob Was a Slob!" as Jack Davis. A very reserved Davis at that.

Jack: I think the cover is classic Kurtzman and "Superduperman" is classic early Mad as well. The panels are incredibly busy with gags and Wood's art is superb, though we're getting used to that, aren't we? His Lois Pain is a force to be reckoned with and the epic battle between Superduperman and Captain Marbles is especially funny in light of the 1951 resolution of the 12-year court battle between DC and Fawcett. I don't think I ever read "Flob Was a Slob! before and, while Davis's gals can't hold a candle to Wood's, the story is funny and surprising, especially the conclusion. "Robin Hood!" did nothing for me at all, but "Shadow!" has always been one of my favorites. Will Elder was born to draw Mad stories!

Feldstein

Shock SuspenStories #8

"Piecemeal" ★★★
Story by Bill Gaines and Al Feldstein
Art by Jack Kamen

"The Assault!" ★★★ 1/2
Story by Bill Gaines and Al Feldstein
Art by Wally Wood

"The Arrival" ★★ 1/2
Story by Bill Gaines and Al Feldstein
Art by Al Williamson, Frank Frazetta, and Roy Krenkel

"Seep No More!" ★★★★
Story by Bill Gaines and Al Feldstein
Art by George Evans

Why is Eric staggering around at night next to a swimming pool, his left arm torn off at the shoulder? It all began when he visited his older brother, Sidney, and Sidney's beautiful young wife, Sally. Sidney spent much of his time tending to his collection of rare fish, so there were plenty of opportunities for Eric to hit it off with Sally, who liked to give her husband sleeping pills at night so that he would not interfere with her late-night swims with Eric. Soon enough, Sally plans to murder her husband with an overdose and have Eric all to herself. What neither of them reckoned with was Sidney's latest rare fish purchase: a man-eating shark in the swimming pool. As Sidney lays dying in his bed from too many pills, Sally is eaten by the shark and Eric loses his arm trying to save her.

Submitted without comment.
("Piecemeal")

"Piecemeal" has a good plot and is well written; Kamen's standard husband/wife/lover cutouts are adequate to tell the story so that it held my interest. I had a feeling a hungry fish was in the offing and I was right, but who buys a man-eating shark and puts it in their swimming pool? What about the chlorine?

Lucy Cartwright has been missing for 36 hours and her parents are getting frantic. Suddenly, she returns and reports "The Assault!" She was victimized by an old recluse named Hodges. The men of the town get a posse together, pay a visit to the old man, and beat him to death. That afternoon, a handsome fellow named George shows up at the Cartwright house and takes Lucy for a walk in the woods to have a chat. It seems George met Lucy months ago at a juke joint and began a torrid affair. She was with George when she went missing but, when he proposed marriage, she laughed at him and went home, making up the story about Old Hodges, who was like a father to George. When George threatens to tell the cops, Lucy reminds him that she's 17 and he'd be confessing to statutory rape, so he rids the world of the shameless hussy by putting six bullets in her face.

George, you old smoothie!
("The Assault!)

Now that's an impulsive way to solve a problem! Wally Wood goes to town drawing 17-year-old Lucy as only he can, and the portrait of mob violence is one we've seen before in these comics. The ending is surprisingly harsh and really rather inexplicable.

Martians have been watching Earth for a long time, seeing civilization wiped out by atomic war and waiting for it to be revived. When a spaceship takes off from the third planet, the denizens of Mars prepare themselves for "The Arrival." As the ship draws closer, communication is established and the Earth creatures tell the story of civilization's rise and fall. When the ship lands and the door opens, the Martians greet the only survivors of the atomic war--rats!

What a trio of artists! The GCD suggests that Williamson did most of the work, with some help by Frazetta and Krenkel, but the pictures are beautiful. The story is run-of-the-mill 1950s science fiction, the author certain that the crisis then was the one that would wipe out mankind. I did get a kick out of the ending, though.

Looks more like a squirrel!
("The Arrival")

Never laugh at a man in love! That lesson was not learned by Irene Lauton, a pretty stage actress who scoffed at a declaration of love by Mr. Finner, who lived across the hall in the same rooming house. When Irene disappears, the police come calling and Mr. Finner starts to see a big, bloody spot develop on his ceiling. He cleans it off but it comes back, so he tries white paint. That doesn't work either, so he opts for a pot to catch the blood, which he prays will "Seep No More!" Finally driven batty by the incessant blood, he confesses to having murdered the woman and stuffed her body in the storage attic. Of course, the police find the body but no sign of any dripping blood.

The best story in a strong issue, "Seep No More" recalls Poe and even Ray Bradbury's "The Fruit at the Bottom of the Bowl" in its depiction of how guilt can overwhelm the mind and cause it to see things that are not there.--Jack

Peter: "Piecemeal" is pretty silly and pretty standard tryst fare. Even though the excited Sidney doesn't get the audience he'd hoped for his all-new, all-great specimen, you'd think he'd have the courtesy to say, "Oh, Sally, by the way, do be careful swimming in the pool as I've just acquired a man-eating shark!" Lucy, the hell-cat of "The Assault!," definitely gets what's coming to her (although six bullets in the face may be overkill), just like the women Lucy is patterned after, those fabulous bad girls of the 1950s Gold Medal novels. I'm glad Al had time to read some of the finer things in life, not just all that Shakespeare nonsense. "The Arrival" has a great climax I never saw coming and some fabulous Williamson art. The winner this issue, for me, could very well be a polarizing story. Some may see "Seep No More!" as a long, slow slog with a "twist" lifted from Poe's "The Black Cat," but I love its slow burn and the way Finner, the story's rational maniac, almost foretells upcoming human monsters of literature like Norman Bates. For once, Al doesn't fall back on a murderous adulterer or crazed owner of a meat packing plant, but rather that quiet guy down the hall at the boarding house who may just ogle Ms. Lauton a second longer than is courteous. George Evans's art is superb (especially that eerie splash, reprinted above); was Evans the most noirish artist EC employed?

Jose: My issue with “Piecemeal” isn’t so much the question of the pool’s ability to sustain a man-eating shark (I believe at one point Sally mentions to Eric that it’s a salt-water pool) but the question over how in the hell neither of the two plotting lovers saw the big, flesh-chomping beast swimming around before they decided to dive in. Outside of that, this fish story is harmless enough. “The Assault” is another *Shock Special*, a brutalizer that leaves you feeling like you have six bullet holes in your face, too. The moral lesson condemning mob violence feels more implicit here, with the focus instead being placed on the rough and seedy elements of spring/autumn romances. This one feels more nihilistic than other “preachies,” as there are precious few champions of justice here and more than enough warped and violent sociopaths. “The Arrival” perks our spirits back up with a reservedly joyous prediction of the eventual fate of the planet that posits that long after us humans have nuked each other’s brains out and our radiation-scarred bones have cooled, the cuddly rats that we so despised will rise up as the usurpers of the planet and finally make contact with the equally adorable reptilian residents of Mars. “Seep No More” takes us from the fanciful high and brings us right back down into the grime and the dark corners of a psychopath’s neurosis. Though it clearly borrows from classic literature, Gaines and Feldstein do a more-than-fine job of updating the yarn for modern sensibilities and, complemented by George Evans’ stark artwork, make this one a menacing and haunting psycho-drama.

Davis

Tales from the Crypt #35

"By the Fright of the Silvery Moon!" ★★★
Story by Bill Gaines and Al Feldstein
Art by Jack Davis

"Midnight Mess!" ★★★
Story by Bill Gaines and Al Feldstein
Art by Joe Orlando

"Busted Marriage!" ★★ 1/2
Story by Bill Gaines and Al Feldstein
Art by Jack Kamen

"This Wraps It Up!" ★★
Story by Bill Gaines and Al Feldstein
Art by Graham Ingels

The Gedra men, recently emigrated from Hungary to a small farm in the American Midwest, find their peaceable existence shattered with the sudden breakout of violent murders in their fair burg. The victims look to be the target of wild animal attacks, but father Alec Gedra knows the telltale signs of the werewolf when he sees one. His youngest son Edward is completely absorbed by this notion and begins blabbing his father’s secret theories to everyone in earshot despite his older brother Peter’s attempts to rein him in. Edward’s superstitious jabber catches the ear of the sheriff, who after an afternoon of library research determines inconclusively that there definitely is a werewolf in this here town and that it’s none other than Papa Gedra! The foreigner is summarily dragged from his house and executed by firing squad in front of his two horrified children. The boys swear vengeance on the real lycanthrope and come the next full moon they head out armed with sharpened silver dollars and slingshots. After they split up Peter hears the sounds of another slaughter and finds the wolf man slavering over his latest kill. The boy’s aim is true, but after he fells the horrible beast he is dismayed to see it reverting back to its human shape of Edward, his brother.

If I had a nickel for every time *that* happened!
("By the Fright of the Silvery Moon")

“By the Fright of the Silvery Moon” works best if you try not to think about the developments and machinations of its plot too closely, which is something that I don’t have too much trouble doing anytime there are werewolves in the mix, and especially when they’re drawn by Jack Davis. Due to the murder-mystery trappings of the story we don’t see any signs of our trouser-wearing hellhound until the final page right before the “shocking” conclusion. So I take it that Edward was only allergic to silver in his wolf-form? Otherwise shouldn’t he have broken out into hives during all that silver dollar filing? (Jack can say whatever he likes about that, but I think that two kids going out werewolf huntin’ with nothing but razor-sharp coins and a couple of slingshots is pretty badass.) “By the Fright…” is not quite the perfect lycanthrope story we were hoping for (was there ever one?), but it’s worth it solely for bringing about that ferocious front cover if nothing else.

It’s hard for Harold Madison to enjoy his trip to see his sister in the tottering old Victorian village she lives in, what with the place being completely shuttered and deserted come sundown with nobody but crazy old coots running in the streets and talking of vampires. Harold finds that his sis Donna is no better, blaming the recent spate of bloodthirsty killings on creatures of the night. He tries to settle himself with a good meal later that night and is surprised to find the restaurant that turned him out earlier is now buzzing with activity. But as Harold dines on the suspiciously salty and thin and red delicacies that the waiter brings out, he begins to think something is terribly amiss. And he’s right: all the restaurant patrons and staff are vampires, and they celebrate the occasion of their human guest by stringing him up and tapping his jugular vein like a cask of fine Moscato.

Ahh, a good fear!
("Midnight Mess")

Justly infamous for its simultaneously ludicrous and queasy finale, “Midnight Mess” lets it be known from the get-go that it will be settling in for some creaky old chills right from Joe Orlando’s opening splash depicting Harold walking through the Halloween-postcard town unknowingly menaced by flapping bats and hooded figures in black. This makes way for more visceral developments come the final part of the story that trades in the “greasy, grimy gopher guts” level of sophomoric gross-out humor that repurposes human blood as various sumptuous dishes. But the real selling point is that jugular tap, so repulsive and morbidly funny that you don’t whether to chuckle or to retch. The inclusion of the supernatural undoubtedly softens the blow here; had this been an act performed by mortals, this story would have likely raised a far bigger stink.

Jeffrey Horn likes Louise Brittling, but he likes her riches even more. But Louise doesn’t like Jeffrey. What’s a poor leech to do? Why, go to the “native” proprietor of the closest curio shop and ask for a pinch of that ol’ voodoo! Jeffrey does doo and receives two sugar dolls made up in the form of bride-and-groom wedding cake toppers, and any action performed upon them will occur to their fleshy counterparts. So since they’re already dressed for the big day then… that means the real Louise will fall in love with Jeffrey and marry him? Sure enough, she does! But then Jeffrey meets Louise’s hot, younger friend Eve and decides to cut the honeymoon short by sticking Louise’s doll in a sealed bell jar to give her a little air-cut. Louise dies, leaving Jeffrey and Eve to enjoy their own wedding night. Only until the rotting, moldy zombie sugar-doll rises from the trash heap and knocks Jeffrey’s doll down from its mantle, leaving the groom (and his new bride’s mind) shattered in pieces.

Hello, Dolly!
("Busted Marriage")

Coming in the midst of this monster mash of an issue is Jack Kamen’s old voodoo softie “Busted Marriage.” Not much can be said of its narrative, yet another threadbare gimmick constructed solely for the just punishment of the villain(s). The finale might have seemed inspired or packed some punch had we not already seen it before; Peter mentions “Drawn and Quartered” below, but we saw something a lot more familiar all the way back in Johnny Craig’s “Voodoo Vengeance” from VOH 14… and even earlier than that when Robert Bloch published his story “Sweets to the Sweet” in the March 1947 issue of Weird Tales. For what’s it worth, “Busted Marriage” features one of the closest glimpses we have had of Jack Kamen depicting a legitimate walking corpse, even if it is the walking corpse of a doll. By the way, if those dolls had the power of animation all along, then why didn’t the bride just break out of her sealed bell jar when the air supply started running low? Or was that only a capability that was made possible by the commitment of a crime on the part of the voodoo beneficiary?

With his dying breath. Arnold revealed the
one concert he always regretted
missing out on.
("This Wraps It Up")

Three archaeologists are overjoyed to see that their days of toiling and digging in the scorching Egyptian heat have paid off with the discovery of Pharaoh Ikah-mu-kahma’s secret tomb. The crumbling skeletons in the trophy room don’t scare the boys away, and the vast riches on hand turn the plotting Thomas and Jerome’s minds to greed and murder. Their partner Arnold had a bad ticker, you see, and all it would take would be a big enough shock to send the man into cardiac arrest. A shock such as seeing the bandaged remains of Ikah-mu-kahma reviving to enact vengeance on the defilers of his grave. The duo set it up so that Thomas will don the filthy wrappings and go into his Kharis act after his screams provoke Arnold and Jerome to “investigate” that night. The plan goes off without a hitch, but when Jerome turns the tables on his partner he discovers that the bullets in his revolver have very little effect. That’s because Thomas has already been killed by the real Ikah-mu-kahma, and the revived mummy is now closing in on Jerome.

“This Wraps It Up” puts a dull, limp bow on this issue. This seems like a plotline that would have been found in the early issues of EC’s horror titles. It still has that innocent, old-time-radio sheen about it. Compared to feral-faced werewolves and blood-tapping vampires that we saw at the start of the issue, a shambling mummy that turns out to be an actual shambling mummy seems awfully tame by comparison. And to give *that* story to “Ghastly” Graham Ingels. What a shame! --Jose

Uggh... leftovers!
("Midnight Mess")

Peter: It would seem as though Graham Ingels would have been the natural choice to illustrate "Midnight Mess!," but Joe Orlando does a bang-up job in Ghastly's spot. "Midnight Mess!" is the seventh story we've come across so far of the ten adapted for the Amicus films. While the filmed version was lacking in just about everything (especially in the effects department), the comic original is a classic from Joe's detailed first panel to the laugh-out-loud finale. The menu alone brings a loud groan. "By the Fright..." is a typical werewolf tale with a predictable outcome (the dad and the sheriff are too obvious so we know who it's got to be) but Jack's art is nice, as are the semi-sorta western undertones. Al (and Bill) draw a whole lot of their inspiration for "Busted Marriage!" from Al's "Drawn and Quartered!" (Crypt #26) and Kamen drew . . . something. "This Wraps It Up!" wraps up a mixed-bag of an issue. The twist is a good one, even though the plot that precedes it has been used before and did we really have to be reminded of Arnold's bad ticker every other panel? I not only noted it but knew it meant something. The big minus to "Wraps" is that it doesn't really give Ghastly much chance to shine, does it?

Jack: Once again, the story features less than Ingels's best work but the standout panel is the splash with the Old Witch. It sure looks like he lavished most of his attention on those initial panels with the Old Witch every issue, doesn't it? "Busted Marriage!" has below average Kamen art and a dull story, but the last half-page was a surprise to me. Clunky plot mechanics are in evidence both in "Midnight Mess!" and "By the Fright..." In "Midnight Mess!," the early scene with the big mirror is a tip-off that the vampires will cast no reflection later on. I recall this story from the big 1970 collection but, on re-reading it, I thought it was mostly a long, drawn-out gag with a classic payoff. The Davis story is also weak in the art department and the idea of a slingshot and a sharp silver dollar as a method to kill a werewolf seems far-fetched to me. They had a month--find a gun and make a silver bullet!

Craig

Crime SuspenStories #16

"Rendezvous!" ★★★
Story and Art by Johnny Craig

"Fission Bait!" ★ 1/2
Story by Al Feldstein
Art by Jack Kamen

"Come Clean!" ★★★ 1/2
Story by Al Feldstein
Art by Al Williamson and Angelo Torres

"Who's Next?" ★★
Story by Al Feldstein
Art by Joe Orlando





Joe Haines is a free-wheeling playboy stuck in a low-paying accountant’s job. To keep his girlfriend Nickie happy and well-jeweled, he’s been appropriating funds from work. When the boss gets suspicious and voices his concerns, Joe realizes he’s going to have to think up something fast. His salvation comes in the form of a time bomb and a timely business trip. Joe places the bomb in his boss’s luggage just before the man takes off, then drives to the spot in the desert where he’s calculated the crash will occur. Joe gets his expected comeuppance when he becomes part of the crash. "Rendezvous!" is not a great story in terms of the plot and the contrivances needed to pull it off (does Joe really think he could dig through the flaming wreckage to cover up any proof of the bomb?), but it's livened up by what could be one of the most sadistic characters in comics. To cover up his own foolishness, Joe thinks nothing of killing hundreds of lives. It’s also a tough story to read in the wake of 9/11. Back in the 1950s, monsters like Joe Haines populated comic books, not desert training camps and 747s.

Eddie and Louise Miller have been living it up, making money with their small machine shop, selling parts to the military but, with the end of World War II, business dries up. Eddie falls into a funk until an Army colonel comes a-callin', explaining that the Army will pay the Millers a boatload of money for pumping out special casings designed for atomic bombs. Suddenly, the Millers are back to living high on the hog, buying big houses, nice cars, and a huge ranch in the valley. On business in Los Angeles one night, Eddie is introduced to the gorgeous Pat Walton and immediately falls in love. The two live a clandestine relationship for over a year until Pat becomes tired of the secrecy and demands that Eddie divorce Louise. In the meantime, Louise has grown suspicious of Eddie's frequent business trips to La-La Land and hired a PI to follow him. Things come to a head one night when Louise confronts her husband over his infidelity and Eddie snaps, killing his wife and burying her body in the desert. The cold-blooded killer cheerfully explains to Pat that Louise has found out about their affair and walked out on him but, as the couple are making love on the sofa, the police break in and arrest both of them. As the police car is heading for headquarters, Eddie asks the cop how he found out about the crime. The detective explains that an old prospector had been searching in the desert for uranium deposits and Louise's watch had set off his Geiger-counter. For once, it's not just Jack Kamen's stencils that deep-six a story but also the -blah- script from Al. There's not a cliche left out of "Fission Bait!" and the "startlingly ironic reveal" elicits more yawns than gasps.

Ralph Jansen is about to be executed for the murder of Lillian Smith, a woman he picked up in a bar for a one-night stand. The prosecution’s evidence consists of the testimony of the landlady who saw him in Lillian’s apartment and his coat, which was seen on a man running from the apartment after the murder. Jansen spends his last minutes going over the night in his head, trying to come up with a missing piece. Unfortunately for Ralph, the missing piece arrives in his brain just as the switch is flipped. A wild, pessimistic story with no expository final panel. The executioner didn’t do it. No gleeful, guilty sheriff. We know Jansen is innocent, but we never find out who or why Lillian is killed. Just about the most noir-ish tale we've run across on our journey thus far, with all sorts of lines that could have fallen out of a Mickey Spillane paperback conveniently opened on Al's lap:

We started to talk! I looked her over! She wasn't bad . . . for her kind!
She drank like a fish! And she could sure hold it! Her eyes got a little bleary, but otherwise she was okay! Just a little gay . . .

This is not the best work we've seen from Al Williamson; the vibe is a bit mid-century rushed and unfinished (the police chief looks a whole lot like Edward G. Robinson) but it's also got a grittiness to it that's perfectly suited for the noir atmosphere.

Tony's a very happy man; he's got his successful barber shop, he's got his health, and he's got his gorgeous wife, Anna. Lately, though, Anna has not been herself, rebuking Tony at the breakfast table, spurning his kisses, and not showing up for her wifely duties at night ("I was tired last night, Tony!"). Regardless of his unhappy home life, Tony still shows up to shear off his customers' unwanted locks and provide some much-needed bonding time between men. Curiously, big-time banker-man, Mr. Barker, shows up every day to inquire as to the wait for a haircut and, every day, he turns right around and leaves when his question is answered. One day, Mr. Barker comes in, inquires and leaves, but drops his wallet. Ever the good citizen, Tony scampers after the wealthy banker, only to discover why Mr. Barker is so inquisitive about Tony's workload: Mr. Barker is the reason why Anna is . . . so tired! The next day, Tony makes sure his slate is clear and, when Mr. Barker arrives, he gets a very close shave! "Who's Next?" is more of the same from Al's bag of plots, this one using the haggard frame of the poor guy with the adulterous wife who doles out revenge based on his profession (a frame we seem to be seeing quite a lot of). Nothing new here and, in fact, five of the seven pages are given over to nothing but poor Tony wondering why his wife is being so mean to him. Joe Orlando provides decent visuals for a story that would usually be handed to Jack Kamen. --Peter

Jack: I found "Who's Next?" to be satisfying from start to finish, with adult themes and solid art. I liked it best out of four good stories in a very strong issue. Johnny Craig's "Rendezvous!" is disturbing in retrospect, with the usual great art from Johnny. I like the Kamen story more than you did; it's a good little crime tale but the twist ending does seem superfluous. As for "Come Clean!," it's terrifically hard boiled and the narration is fabulous, but I think Al Williamson is the most uneven artist we're seeing in these EC comics. Perhaps it all depends on the inker.

Craig

The Vault of Horror #30

"Split Personality!" ★★★★
Story and Art by Johnny Craig

"Who Doughnut?" ★★
Story by Al Feldsetin
Art by Jack Davis

"Practical Choke!" ★★ 1/2
Story by Al Feldstein
Art by George Evans

"Notes to You!" ★★★
Story by Bill Gaines and Al Feldstein
Art by Graham Ingels

Handsome con man Ed King collects donations for a living and can't resist turning on the old charm when he learns of beautiful blond twin sisters who live together, never go out, and have a boatload of moolah. Gaining entry to their home by means of rescuing a kitten from a tree, Ed quickly makes himself indispensable and the girls fall in love with him. Being a clever con artist, Ed realizes that he can double his winnings by pretending to be twins, so he tells the girls that he and his identical twin brother Alphonso take turns minding their holdings in South Africa, each one spending a month there at a time. The gals fall for it like a ton of bricks and before you know it, Ed and "Alphonso" have each married one of the twin sisters. Sadly for Ed, an unintended tan line from a sun lamp tips the girls off, but they solve the problem quite creatively by cutting Ed down the middle with an ax, so each sister gets her fair share.

Johnny Craig could mix humor, horror,
and hardboiled in the same story.
("Split Personality!")

I've been waiting for a great Johnny Craig story for a while now, and I think "Split Personality!" is it! The art is perfect, blending crime, humor, and horror seamlessly, and the story is a lot of fun, all the way to the side-splitting finish. And how about that cover? If I were in Congress, I'd hold it up as Exhibit A. The bone sticking out is the worst part.

Not even Jack Davis could make this work!
("Who Doughnut?")

Seven women dead in under a month, blood drained from their bodies, round welts covering their skin! "Who Doughnut?" wonder the police and intrepid reporter Danny Hughes. What's more, the victims all have traces of sea brine left on them. One night, down by the docks, Danny follows a suspicious character to the aquarium and discovers that the killer is an octopus!

Were it not for Jack Davis's efforts to tell this story with a relatively straight face, it would belong in Mad. The script is awful and the ending is telegraphed a mile away. And since when can an octopus put on a hat and trench coat and slink around town?

Three fun-loving medical school students play one "Practical Choke!" after another on the unsuspecting public. They leave a severed arm hanging from a subway strap, a couple of severed legs sticking out of a sand dune at the beach, and a severed head in a photo cutout at the boardwalk. Thinking they need to hide the evidence of their misdeeds, they return to the morgue to dispose of what remains of the body they took the parts from, when a length of slithering intestines sneaks up and chokes them to death!

Compare the Evans panel to the Craig cover.
("Practical Choke!")

Only slightly better than the story before it, this one is notable for more strong art from George Evans and for the fact that the panel that mirrors Johnny Craig's cover is actually less gruesome. Think about that--the cover is more graphic than what's on the inside pages! The end is ridiculous and makes me fear that Feldstein is running out of ideas.

Popkin's candy store stocks EC comics!
("Notes to You!")

Judson Slack receives a poison pen letter telling him that his wife has been unfaithful. He confronts her and, not believing her denial, walks out. She kills herself and he feels remorse. Morton Cox receives a similar letter telling him that his trusted employee has robbed him. He confronts the man, who leaps from a window. The same thing happens with Averill Minton, who kills himself after a letter sent to the customers of his bank impugns his character. Finally, Mr. Popkin, who owns a candy store, refuses to serve bitter old Ambrose Baldwin in front of some kids. Baldwin complains and Popkin gives him a bottle of ink and tells him never to come back.

Baldwin goes home and writes a letter to the health department, stating that the candy store is filthy. They investigate but, when the letter is produced, it is blank. Popkin then knows that Baldwin is the poison pen letter-writer and he and the other three men who were affected realize that they all slighted Baldwin at some point in the past. To get revenge, they visit him at home and jab him repeatedly with fountain pens filled with lye until his body dissolves.

Very nice art by Ghastly in "Notes to You!" can't save another weak story from Bill and Al. The parade of poison-pen letters is fine and the story seems to be going in the direction of revenge, but the idea of sticking a man with pens filled with lye and that causing him to disintegrate into "a foul-smelling, oozing pool of putrescence" is too much.--Jack

The Terrible Twins plot Peter's demise.
("Split Personality!")

Peter: All four stories in this extremely weak issue are hampered by dopey climaxes (y' know, those kind that are telegraphed form the splash page?). Al doesn't even try to explain how (or why) an octopus climbs into Mickey Spillane duds to prowl the street for prey. Is it an intelligent half-man/half-octo who can sense that a creature such as he should don a trench and fedora so as not to draw attention? Sheesh! The only thing to recommend in "Split Personality!" is Craig's crazed Blair sisters. Sure, they turn on a dime a little too quickly but it's a fun transformation. Speaking of quick, the fatalities of "Notes to You!" certainly didn't waste their time explaining or looking for solutions to their problems, instead ending their lives within minutes of the slights. The climax boils down (pun intended) to the same ol' same ol'. That leaves the only story this issue that garnered as high as two stars in my notes: "Practical Choke!," which begins very promisingly but then sputters and dies. I thought this one was heading into the same territory as the classic Alfred Hitchcock Presents/Hour episodes "The Cadaver" and "The Jokester" (both broadcast long after this issue was published) but, in the end, Al falls back on the patented shock finale that makes no sense.

In Our Next Issue . . .

Star Spangled DC War Stories Issue 106: June/July 1969

The DC War Comics
1959-1976
by Corporals Enfantino and Seabrook

Adams

The Brave and the Bold 84

Batman and Sgt. Rock in

"The Angel, The Rock and the Cowl"
Story by Bob Haney
Art by Neal Adams and Joe Kubert

Peter: Bruce Wayne is called to the Gotham Museum by the curator after a mysterious man has claimed to own an Archangel statue brought to Gotham for safekeeping just after World War II. The curator is struck by a heavy object and a German man emerges from the shadows. Bruce recognizes him immediately as Colonel von Stauffen, a Nazi war criminal long wanted by the authorities.  The face brings back memories of a time long ago, when Bruce Wayne served as an agent for England, searching for a mystery weapon the Germans had green lit.

Bruce is brought aboard a plane, where he meets Sgt. Rock and Easy Company, who are meant to help Bruce in his search. At least that's what's supposed to happen. The men must parachute into the German-held Chateaurouge, where Wayne quickly discovers (as his alter ego, Batman) that the secret weapon is nerve gas, hidden in empty bottles of wine. Two of Rock's men, Bulldozer and Wild Man, discover the "wine cellar" and, thinking it some exotic alcoholic beverage, steal two bottles and head back to the action. Discovering the theft, Batman must intercept the Easy Joes before they open the bottles and kill everyone around them. Colonel von Stauffen initiates "Operation: Barbarian," a plan to stop D-Day, and begins rolling out the nerve gas. Bruce Wayne (back in his civvies) informs Rock of the deadly cargo and blows the German convoy to hell. Back in the present, von Stauffen is about to blow Bruce Wayne's head off when a strong arm reaches in and puts the Colonel to sleep. The massive arm belongs to Sgt. Rock, who followed the Nazi after recognizing him at the airport. The two old buddies exchange pleasantries and go their separate ways.

There have always been problems with the passage of time in comic books (Peter Parker was in high school for, it seems, twenty years) but "The Angel, The Rock and The Cowl" presents a special problem with the passing of decades. Bruce Wayne appears to be just as young when he takes on his role as ex-patriot spy as he does when he next encounters the deadly Colonel 25 years later, while Rock has obviously aged. Wouldn't B&B editor Murray Boltinoff red line this peculiarity or would he just chalk it up to the goofiness of the medium and make that deadline? The story itself isn't all that great. I'm no WWII expert, but did the Germans really know that D-Day was on the way? These ones did. And writer Bob Haney obviously hasn't spent much time with Easy Company, as most of them come off as stumbling bumpkins, with Bulldozer and Wild Man missing from action long enough to steal some wine bottles. This particular episode doesn't sit with what we know about Easy and its leader who, unfortunately, is reduced to not much more than a witness to the proceedings. The team-up promised is never delivered. So, thank goodness, we've got Neal Adams's stellar work to keep us occupied (although I could have done with more Batman and less Wayne); Neal once again shows why he was the perfect choice to take over the character (if for only a short while) in the early '70s.

Jack: Not every page is Adams at his best, but there's enough pizzazz here to keep me satisfied. The secret hidden in the wine bottles reminds me of Notorious, though I wonder how Bruce Wayne could look at a seemingly empty bottle of wine and conclude that it contained nerve gas. Rock doesn't behave like the Rock we know, but this is made up for by seeing him in 1969. A letter writer in Brave and the Bold 87 notes that Joe Kubert had a hand in the art on (at least) page 19 and the editor confirms that Kubert helped Adams out of a deadline jam, though he doesn't say whether Kubert just worked on one page or whether he was involved in more. The top half of page 19 looks like 100% Kubert to me. The editor also addresses complaints about Bruce Wayne's seeming not to age by claiming that Adams drew him to look as if he had just finished college and based his depiction on Bob Kane's, while drawing him looking older in 1969. I confess he looked the same to me in 1944 and 1969.

Kubert

 Star Spangled War Stories 145

"Return of the Hangman"
Story by Robert Kanigher
Art by Joe Kubert

Peter: His sleep wracked with nightmares about the long-dead Hangman, the Enemy Ace begins to believe that, perhaps, his arch-enemy may not have perished after all. Trying to put it out of his head during the daytime hours, von Hammer whips his three protégés into shape to become aces in their own right. Still, Hans cannot get over a deep uneasiness. His fears come true as the Hammer witnesses the "Return of the Hangman"! Seems the ace did not die in their last aerial battle after all. The Count's Spad crashed into a conveniently-placed river and he hoofed it back to his castle, where his sister, Denise, nursed him back to health. Now, madder than ever, the Hangman swears he will extract more than a pound of justice from his rival. One by one, the three young pilots nurtured by von Hammer are shot down by the bitter Count and, finally, the two aces have their rematch. It's not much of a sequel though, since the Hammer dispatches the Count (or so we think) much the same way he did last time--with a well-timed bit of low-to-the-ground flying and some telephone wires. Hans's crippled Fokker crashes in the nearby forest and his bruised and bleeding body is circled by a pack of hungry wolves. Just in time, the Hammer's black wolf mascot shows up and chases away the scavengers.

Though it's exciting to have the super-ace/villain the Hangman back for another adventure, there's no denying this script has several holes large enough to fly a Sopwith Camel through. Von Hammer is kind enough to share with us the details of the Hangman's "resurrection," details Hans could not possibly know about since he wasn't there. Also, it's illogical that Count De Sevigne would emerge from his months of rehabilitation vowing "a terrible vengeance against the Hammer of Hell" since the last time the two aces met, it was clear there was a deep admiration between the two. The guy was just doing his job. The Hangman would only expect the best out of his rival. The climactic confrontation we've all been waiting for arrives at last . . . and ends in a handful of panels. The Hangman, arguably tied for first place in "The World's Number One Killer Pilot" competition, flies his Spad into some phone wires? Really? Obviously, there has to be a re-re-match coming up. All this complaining is because the previous installments set a bar so high that some entries would naturally disappoint. I've no doubt we'll be flying high again very soon. Oh, and Joe does his usual stunning job visualizing the battles and bloodshed but it looks, in some panels, like he may have gotten a wee bit of help. There's an almost Gil Kane-ish look to the panel above, isn't there?

Jack: I did not notice it while reading, but that nose sure has a Kane vibe! I like this story, from the opening double-page splash, which has a Golden Age DC feel with the giant Hangman holding the little Enemy Ace in his hand, through the six-page recap of the Hangman's last appearance. Kubert must have loved doing this series, because the art is just fabulous. I agree with you that the Hangman is disposed off much too quickly after such a big buildup.

Kubert

Our Army at War 207

"A Sparrow's Prayer"
Story by Robert Kanigher
Art by Joe Kubert

"Top of the World!"
Story by Robert Kanigher
Art by Sid Greene

"SOS Send Our Food"
Story by Mike Friedrich
Art by Ed Robbins

Jack: A new recruit nicknamed Sparrow spends much of his time on his knees praying for the survival of Easy Co., but Rock and the others have to respond to a sudden Nazi mortar attack by sliding down a sand dune in the North African desert to confront the enemy troops firing on them. Wild Man gets tired of Sparrow's praying all the time and Rock leads his men on foot across the desert, where they are attacked by a Nazi tank company. "A Sparrow's Prayer" is answered when a sand storm whips up and allows the Americans to defeat a tank with some well-placed grenades.

A little help from Neal Adams?
("A Sparrow's Prayer")

An odd story, especially because the new character does not get killed at the end. Still, it's good to have a substantial Rock tale after a few months of reprints and head trips, especially since Kubert's art is as good here as it is in Enemy Ace.

Jake Flaherity was on "Top of the World!" when he worked on urban skyscrapers back at home, but when he finds himself in the trenches of WWI he's down in the mud. An enemy tank causes a trench collapse and he and his men must dig their way out before he can shoot a mortar off and stop an enemy advance. A rare appearance for Sid Greene in a DC War comic, this reads and looks like a file story that got pulled out of a dusty drawer somewhere and plunked down in this 1969 comic to fill four pages of space.

A group of U.S. soldiers are trapped in a cave guarded by a Nazi tank and running low on food and water. When supplies run out, the men get desperate and, one by one, run out hoping for food, only to be gunned down. Their radio message requesting help is garbled, so when a plane finally gets through and drops supplies by parachute, it turns out to be more guns!

"Top of the World!"

This is an unusual story where the writing is better than the art. The plight of the soldiers is palpable and their sequential deaths are grim. It reminded me of an EC story, especially in the brutal ending. The art, as Peter notes below, is hardly more than chicken scratch, but for some reason the whole thing worked for me, perhaps because it is so unusual in a DC comic.

Peter: Ed Robbins's art for "SOS" is just about the most amateurish and ugly I've seen yet on this journey; hard to believe Joe Kubert accepted it for publishing. It's that bad. But the story it illustrates is unrelentingly grim and so powerful that it makes me overlook the art and give it a big thumbs-up. I believe this is the first DC War contribution from Mike Friedrich (at about this time, Friedrich also made his DC Mystery debut with the classic "His Name is . . . Cain" in House of Mystery #180), a writer who would move to Marvel a few years later and reinvigorate Iron Man and Captain Marvel. Friedrich will contribute four scripts to this title from 1969-71.

"SOS Send Our Food"

Trying to squeeze three tales into twenty-five pages of story content is a mistake; vignettes like "Top of the World!" have no room to "spread their wings" as it were and come off feeling incomplete or, worse, a waste of space better given over to character development in one of the longer scripts. The Rock tale does nothing for me; it should make me ponder the mysteries of life or something. It doesn't because all I can think while reading it is that Sparrow sure looks like one of the other young grunts who have filled the role of "green" in several recent Rocks. The gimmick, that Sparrow is religious and looks to God in the midst of Hell, is never really explored aside from Wild Man's derisive comments and, of course, the deus ex machina disguised as holy intervention.

Kubert

 G.I. Combat 136

"Kill Now--Pay Later!"
Story by Robert Kanigher
Art by Ross Andru and Mike Esposito

"No-Name Hill"
Story by Robert Kanigher
Art by Ed Robbins

"The 13th Bullet!"
Story by Howard Liss
Art by Fred Ray

Peter: Though they were born continents apart, both tank commander Jeb Stuart and U-boat captain Ludwig Von Ernst have the same moral code: fight to the end and go down with the ship. The two may be in disparate war climates but, inevitably, they meet when both arrive at the same beach--the Jeb to check out enemy movement and the U-boat for repairs. When Von Ernst spies the approaching tank, he fires on her but the Jeb Stuart proves more dangerous as she rams the boat's conning tower as it's submerging. As he always promised, Von Ernst goes down with the sinking ship but he takes the Haunted Tank with him. The next day, the tank is dragged out of the muddy water for repair.

A wee bit of tinkering by the editor?

Sure doesn't look like
A+E to us!

How many times have we seen this story before? The two men, separated by different cultures, both raised the same way as boys, come together for the big clash? Way too many, says I. I will admit to being intrigued by the short glimpses we're afforded into Jeb Stuart's childhood. Big Bob should have taken that aspect and run with it rather than throw the stale formula into the microwave for a warming-up. Von Ernst is your go-to scarred Nazi monster indistinguishable from any other Nazi monster. The art of "Kill Now--Pay Later!" (a really stupid title that makes no sense) is credited to the dreaded Andru/Esposito team (and, may I stress once again, how much I loved the A/E partnership on The Amazing Spider-Man? It's just hideous, it seems, in its early stages.) but there sure looks like a whole lot of Joe Kubert dotted here and there. And hey, how about that penultimate panel where one tank man says to another, "The ol' Haunted Tank'll see service again . . ." At what point did the supporting cast discover the tank was haunted? Was I out of town that week, Jack?

Next issue: Russ is back and not a moment too soon!

A colonel of two wars and a young G.I. have never seen action before until their jeep is hit by a mortar and the pair must fight for their lives on a "No-Name Hill"! This one's a very short piece but it's got bite and an honest-to-goodness poignant wrap-up. The art's very good as well; Robbins isn't as stylish as Heath or Kubert but he gets the job done all the same.

A Yankee takes a nice lookin' pistola off a Reb and the dying soldier tells him that the gun has almost magical powers and never misses its target but warns that the gun will misfire on "The 13th Bullet!" The Union soldier finds that the dead man was right; his first twelve shots find their marks every time but, keeping in mind the warning, he puts the gun away rather than firing for a 13th time. Replacements come and the man is shocked to see the drummer-boy is his teenage son. Just then, the troop is attacked by dirty, mangy Johnny Rebs and, without thinking, he tosses the magical firearm to his son. The boy points, aims, and misfires, and he's shot dead. Here's one that walks that fine line between coincidence and the Twilight Zone. It's good to have Howard Liss back, even if this one doesn't measure up to his past triumphs. Fred Ray's art is a bit scratchy but at least the characters don't have saucer eyes or melty faces (like the soldiers belonging to Andru and Grandenetti). I can't wait until Weird War Tales arrives in a couple years.

Jack: Another issue where we have to slog through 13 pages of a mediocre lead story to get to the backups, which are slightly higher in quality. In the Jeb Stuart tale, Kanigher once again sets up parallel situations, then presents parallel flashbacks, and finally has the two meet for a battle whose result was never in doubt. The same parallel storytelling is used in the third story, though the two combatants are brought together more quickly and the tale soon takes a supernatural turn. The middle story has a surprising power for only running four pages, and Ed Robbins's art is far better than what we saw above in Our Army at War.

Kubert

Our Fighting Forces 119

"Bedlam in Berlin"
Story by Robert Kanigher
Art by Art Saaf

"Home . . !"
Story by Howard Liss
Art by Fred Ray

"[This Story Has No Title!]"
Story by Robert Kanigher
Art by Gene Colan and Bernard Sachs
(Reprinted from All-American Men of War #4, May 1953)

Jack: Disguised as Nazi soldiers, Lt. Hunter and his Hellcats parachute into Berlin to extract General Kress and his daughter. The general wants peace and is in danger, so it's fortunate that the Hellcats happen upon his daughter almost immediately. She is pinned by a car that went off the road after a bomb blast and Brute holds up the car so she can be saved. Fraulein Kress takes the Hellcats to her father's office just in time for them to stop him from being executed. There is "Bedlam in Berlin" as the Hellcats escape through the city's subway tunnels, which Hitler has decided to flood with water to punish Germans hiding down there. In the end, General Kress and his daughter are safely put on a plane for London and the Fraulein gives Brute a big hug for saving her.

Brute finally gets some lovin'!
("Bedlam in Berlin")

We must be getting to the end of the Hellcats series because it's starting to get pretty good. I admit that the bar was set low by some of the early series entries, but even Art Saaf's workmanlike art seems to work here. I like the Hellcat above the logo on the cover and I appreciate Brute finally getting a little attention from a pretty girl.

Peter: Y'know, once you resign yourself to the fact that "Hunter's Hellcats" will never experience writing or art on a par with Enemy Ace, Sgt Rock, or even Gunner and Sarge, you can try to look at it in another light. It's the DC War equivalent of The Fast and the Furious movie series; brainless and loud but, in the end, harmless. It's hard to take any war story seriously with art like that of a talking animal strip and a plot avoiding anything that resembles reality or continuity. The Hellcats seemingly go from one death-defying mission to another and emerge unscarred. But if they keep writing them, I'll keep reading them. I welcome the challenge.

"Home . . !"

Jack: Rebel soldier Lonny Hart escapes from his Civil War Yankee prison, determined to make it "Home . . !" to his family's beautiful mansion. Attacking a Yankee camp to get some food results in his getting shot in the arm, but he survives and steals a Union horse from another camp before having to disguise himself under a blanket to ride alongside Union troops in the rain. He is discovered but fights his way out of trouble and makes it home. In his mind, his mansion still stands, but we see that it has been destroyed in war.

I read this entire story thinking it was going to end up with an Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge twist, but the surprise conclusion was a bit of a letdown. The art is average at best.

Peter: With "Home . . !" and the aforementioned "The 13th Bullet!," it's obvious that editor Kubert assigned Howard Liss and Fred Ray to come up with some Civil War stories with edge and Liss, at least, delivers. Nice twist ending, but Ray's art is even shakier than in the G.I. Combat story; it's on a par with John Calnan's awful DC work.

Supply your own title!

Jack: An American soldier trudges through a snowy landscape, well aware that he is being followed by an enemy soldier and that his gun only has one bullet left. Avoiding death until he has a good angle for a shot, his gun jams at the last minute and he rushes the enemy and subdues him with the gun butt. Early Gene Colan work, this story has no title and the editor asks readers to write in with suggestions. My thought would be "One Bullet Left!" The enemy appears to be dressed like it's the Korean War, and the story first ran in 1953; it has an EC War Comic vibe to it and Colan drew war stories for both companies around this time.

Peter: The reprint's a good one, albeit with a lame gimmick, with fabulous Colan/Sachs art. It's got a gritty, noir-ish feel to it that's lacking in most post-code war tales.

Kubert

Our Army at War 208

"A Piece of Rag . . . A Hank of Hair!"
Story by Robert Kanigher
Art by Russ Heath

"I Love a Spitfire"
Story and Art by Ken Barr

"Move On!"
Story Uncredited
Art by Joe Kubert
(Reprinted from All-American Men of War #56, April 1958)

Jack: When Easy Co. enters a bombed-out French village, Rock finds a child's doll that is little more than "A Piece of Rag . . . a Hank of Hair!" Nazis suddenly attack from a machine gun nest hidden in an abandoned building, so Rock hops on a motorcycle, rides straight at them, and lobs a fatal grenade inside their lair. The sound of a child crying leads the men of Easy Co. to find the little girl who lost the doll, and the hard-bitten men turn soft and give her their candy.

No members of Easy Co. were harmed
in the drawing of this story
"A Piece of Rag . . ."

The next morning, the sweep of the town continues. The girl drops her doll down some steps and comes face to face with more Nazis, who hold her at gunpoint and threaten to kill her unless Rock and his men throw down their arms. The girl kicks the commander in the shin and hits the ground, so a fierce fight ensures, first with bullets and then with fists. In the end, Easy Co. is once again victorious, and Rock promises to take the little girl to the Red Cross, where she can hope to be reunited with her parents.

I love Joe Kubert's art, but the Sgt. Rock series was getting a bit stale and an entry drawn by Russ Heath is most welcome. Kanigher's story is well done and the sight of the men of Easy Co. giving her candy and chocolate is amusing. If there was ever a scene that proved none of the Easy Co. regulars will ever die, the point-blank shootout with the Nazis is it. A couple of the men get a flesh wound but nothing more.

An American pilot joined the R.A.F. in WWII to help the Brits fight the Nazis, but he has trouble handling both his plane and the pretty barmaid in the local town. Confessing that "I Love a Spitfire," he goes up alone and encounters a Nazi terror rocket that he manages to knock off course with the wing of his plane. Flush with confidence at his success, he lands his plane, marches into the pub, takes the barmaid over his knee, and gives her a good spanking. She is so grateful that she melts in his arms.

Just what she wanted.
("I Love a Spitfire")

Yeesh! This one was going along pretty good until the pilot decided to show the barmaid what was what by tanning her hide. Talk about a scene that wouldn't fly in 2017!

As a boy, Eddie was an Army brat whose family kept having to "Move On!" when his father was transferred. All he wanted was to live in the country and see trees, haystacks, and a brook. Now he's in the Army himself, being told to move on all the time. He comes upon a oak tree and hangs by a limb but discovers a Nazi hiding above in the branches. He steps in a lovely brook and sets off a mine before fighting Nazis in a rubber raft. He goes to have some rest in a haystack, but it's hiding a Nazi tank. What's a poor soldier to do? He finally gets to stay put but finds himself bored after a few weeks.

"Move On!"

Late 1950s Kubert is always welcome, even though the story follows a familiar pattern.

Peter: "A Piece of Rag" is a bit on the sappy side but who am I (the world's #1 Russ Heath fan) to complain about some silly little thing like a script? "Move On!" is one of those stories we love so much that latches onto a slogan and then runs it into the ground. That leaves the real prize of the issue: Ken Barr's "I Love a Spitfire." Like "A Piece of Rag . . . ," I'm not wild about the plot (and, as a sensitive 21st Century Man I, of course, abhorred the blatant misogyny in the final panels) but Barr's aerial dogfights are on a par with . . . dare I say it . . . Russ Heath's! Absolutely fabulous choreography.

Next Week:
We make a real "Mess" of things!

The Caroline Munro Archive: Personas, October 15, 1973

by John Scoleri

Welcome to the latest installment of this semi-regular feature on bare•bones in which I share rarities from my Caroline Munro collection. This time out we look at an early appearance in the Spanish magazine Personas, promoting what was to be an appearance in the Richard Burton film The Voyage. It looks like Caroline ultimately did not appear in the film, although that is solely based on her and the film's credits as listed on IMDB. I think I'll have to seek out a copy to see if she appears in an uncredited cameo.

Personas
Number 39
October 15, 1973

Caroline Munro: A Voyage with Richard Burton (Translated from Spanish - original article below)

Caroline Munro, twenty-two, has married the American singer Judd Hamilton in Las Vegas, who she met on the film in A Talent for Loving in Spain.

"Oh! If I remember correctly, during the filming of A Talent for Loving, I fell off of a horse. However, in spite of several fractured bones, I finished the role as best as I could."

Other films in which Caroline had occasion to shine, both her artistic talent and anatomical merits. Those films include Dr. Phibes Rises Again, The Abominable Dr. Phibes, and The Golden Voyage of Sinbad.

"I am very excited about my latest film, The Trip (El Viaje, aka The Voyage), that is being filmed now with Richard Burton. The director is Vittorio de Sica, who discovered me through my appearance on the cover of an Italian magazine."

Caroline has every reason to be excited. Vittorio de Sica and Richard Burton are two names capable of making a star out of a totally unknown actress, although this is not exactly the case of this beautiful Scottish woman.

"No, I do not know Richard Burton personally, but I admire him a lot as an actor and I hope he's a good film-mate."

Caroline has an apartment in London for her continuous trips to Europe, and has now rented a farm in Italy where she will reside during the making of her next film.

Carolyn (sic) Munro, un "Viaje" con Richard Burton

Carolyn (sic) Munro, de veintidós años, se ha casado con el cantante americano Judd Hamilton en Las Vegas y ha rodado su primera película en España.

—¡Oh!, si me acuerdo perfectamente. Se llamaba <<A Talent for Loving>> y en una escena un poco violenta me caí del caballo. No obstante, a pesar de varias fracturas de huesos, acabé el rodaje como pude.

Después vinieron otras películas, en las que Carolyn (sic) tenía ocasión de lucir, a partes iguales, su talento artístico y sus méritos anatómicos. Entre estos títulos figuran <<Dr. Phibes Rises Again>>, <<Abominable>>, y <<Sinbad’s Golden Voyage>>.

—Estoy muy ilusionada con mi película, <<The Trip>> (El Viaje), que se está rodando ahora con Richard Burton. El director es Vittorio de Sica, que me descubrió a través de la portada de una revista italiana.

Carolyn (sic) tiene toda la razón del mundo para sentirse ilusionada. Vittorio de Sica y Richard Burton son dos nombres capaces de consagrar a una actriz totalmente desconocida, aunque éste no es exactamente el case de la bella escocesa.

—No, personalmente no conozco a Richard Burton, pero le admiro mucho como actor y espero que sea un agradable compañero de rodaje.

Carolyn (sic), tiene un apartamento en Londres para sus continuous desplazamientos a Europa y ahora ha alquilado une finca en Italia donde residirá durante el rodaje de la próxima película.

Check back regularly for more rarities from the Caroline Munro Archive!

The Hitchcock Project-James Bridges Part Twelve: Where the Woodbine Twineth [10.13]

by Jack Seabrook

He is gone where the woodbine twineth,
With the vine on the ivied wall,
'Neath the shade of the weeping willow,
Where its long drooping branches fall
Remember then the soldier,
Ones noble and so brave,
And cast thy little token
A flowret on his grave

(from "Gone Where the Woodbine Twineth" by Septimus Winner, 1870)

"they don’t have harvesters any more; they’ve gone where the woodbine twineth"

(from Life on the Mississippi by Mark Twain, 1883)

The phrase "where the woodbine twineth" seems to have been in use in the latter part of the nineteenth century. In Winner's poem, it suggests death, while in Twain's narrative it suggests obsolescence. Davis Grubb used the phrase in his short story, "You Never Believe Me," which was first published in the February 1964 issue of Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine and then reprinted as "Where the Woodbine Twineth" in Grubb's collection, Twelve Tales of Suspense and the Supernatural, also published in 1964. It is probable that this book is where the producers of The Alfred Hitchcock Hour found the story, since the collection also included "Return of Verge Likens," Grubb's other contribution to the TV series.

"You Never Believe Me"
was first published here

The story concerns a woman named Nell and her five-year-old niece, Eva, whose parents are dead. Nell worries about Eva, who likes to play with her imaginary friends, such as Mr. Peppercorn; Nell reads to her from sober volumes like The Pilgrim's Progress and tries to instill the need to make herself useful in life. One day, Nell's father comes home from a steamboat trip to New Orleans, bringing a black doll as a gift for Eva. The child says the doll is named Numa, and that her arrival had been foretold by Mr. Peppercorn. Numa becomes Eva's playmate and Nell thinks she hears two voices when Eva plays with her doll. Eva tells Suse, "the old Negro woman," that if "Aunt Nell ever makes her go away she'll take me with her . . . where the woodbine twineth." Eva tells Suse that sometimes she and Numa change places.

One evening, Nell is certain that she sees another child playing outside with Eva, but the child just tells her that "You never believe me---." Nell takes the doll away as punishment, ignoring Eva's cries reminding her of Numa's threat. A week later, Nell finds the doll gone and goes outside to whip Eva. Under a tree, she finds a black child with Numa's doll box in her lap. Nell chases the girl away and picks up the box, but when she looks inside she sees not the black doll, Numa, but rather a white doll that resembles Eva.

When and where does this story take place? The time is never specified, but context clues strongly suggest the later years of the 19th century. The names Nell and Eva are old-fashioned and the black servants, Suse and Jessie, talk of "old times before the war." Eva's grandfather comes from New Orleans by steamboat and the parlor is lit by gaslight. Nell has a pianola (player piano) and these were popular from the 1880s through the first world war. At one point, the characters watch the evening packet pass on the river; a packet was a boat that traveled at regular intervals to deliver mail. In the story, Eva sits on the steps of the ice house and there is also mention of a meat house. I think that an argument could be made for just about any date from the 1880s until about 1910; the story seems to occur before the first world war.

First edition

As for place, the family is said to live near the river and Captain King comes from New Orleans by steamboat and docks at Cresap's Landing. This was also the location of Davis Grubb's novel, Night of the Hunter; it is situated on the Ohio River on the West Virginia side, in that little strip of land where West Virginia sticks up between Pennsylvania and Ohio. This is Marshall County, whose county seat is Moundsville, where Davis Grubb was born. Like "Revenge of Verge Likens," "Where the Woodbine Twineth" is set in the country, although the family has more in common economically with Riley McGrath of that story than with the Likens clan.

Like that earlier adaptation of a Davis Grubb short story, this one was adapted for The Alfred Hitchcock Hour by James Bridges, who was fast becoming a poet of country folk. The TV show first aired on NBC on Monday, January 11, 1965, halfway through the final season. Once again, Bridges starts the teleplay by depicting events that occur before the start of the story on which it is based. In the first scene, the funeral of Eva's father is shown and the focus is on the fidgety child, dressed in black. There is a dissolve to a scene of the funeral party arriving home in a contemporary automobile, which shows right away that the story has been updated to 1965 from the turn of the century setting of Grubb's tale. Eva is being brought to her new home and Nell shows her the bedroom where she will sleep, commenting that it had been her father's room. The child asks her aunt about her dead father and has questions about death; this is her first reference to her imaginary friend Mingo, and Nell's face shows concern for the child.

A domestic scene follows in the parlor, with Captain King reading while Nell pays bills. Though he suggests taking Eva to live with her mother's relatives, Nell claims to welcome the chance to care for the child: she is an old maid who stayed home to care for her mother until she died, then deferred her own dreams as she watched her brother make a life for himself. Bridges fleshes out the character of Nell in the teleplay and turns her into a sympathetic figure.

Margaret Leighton as Nell

Afraid of the dark, Eva asks Nell to stay with her and the two share a bed. Eva tells Nell that she must meet Mingo, a female creature who can live in a bird cage and has a fox for a horse. Nell admits that she thinks Mingo is a figment of the child's imagination and Eva realizes that, like her own father before his death, Nell does not believe Eva is being truthful. Nell wakes up in the middle of the night and finds Eva in the closet, playing hide and seek with Mingo. Nell orders the little girl back to bed and criticizes her for talking back. Eva says that Mingo told her she saw Eva's parents dancing together down in the ground--by all indications, she is a child attempting to process the death of her parents by means of an imaginary friend.

The next day, Eva helps Suse clean house and again discusses her imaginary friends. Unlike Nell, Suse is tolerant and accepts the child's stories without question. Nell overhears Eva asking Suse if Nell is an old maid and we can sense the first twinges of Nell's jealousy of the relationship between the child and the black servant. Later, Nell hears Eva playing and investigates, and this is where the TV show picks up with the beginning of the short story. An argument ensues between aunt and niece and Nell pushes an umbrella under the Davenport to show Eva that her tiny friends are not really there. The child angrily accuses her aunt of making her friends go away.

Eileen Baral as Eva

In a later scene, Eva hides in the loft of an out-building; Suse speaks to her and Eva responds in a ghostly voice. Once again, Suse does not dispute Eva's stories of her friends, instead indulging her with a smile. When Eva's grandfather returns, Nell is visibly sad to see Eva's happiness at the man's arrival; Nell is jealous but does not have any experience raising a daughter, much less one who has been traumatized by the death of her parents. Nell compares her own childhood to that of Eva and believes that she was disciplined harshly; this is the only model she has to guide her in how to deal with the little girl. By failing to express support for a belief in Eva's world, Nell loses connection with the child. The spinster aunt is unable to accept that Eva is a child with her own perspective and tries to pull her toward her adult world.

The first real sign of a supernatural event comes in a creepy, effective scene where Eva takes Numa under her bed covers to play and we suddenly see the outline of two figures bouncing happily under the blanket. For a moment, it sounds like the voices of two separate little girls. Later, Nell comes home and also hears two voices as Eva plays with Numa outside. Nell takes the doll as punishment and Eva says "I hate you" and tells Nell to "shut up," trying to bite the woman's shoulder. Nell grabs Eva, who screams and runs to Suse for comfort. Suddenly, the pianola starts to play, Numa in a box perched atop it. Nell is frightened and calls to Jessie for help; he comes and repairs the machine. Eva is sent to her room without supper. Again, by taking away the doll and banishing the child, Nell uses the sort of old-fashioned disciplinary techniques that she remembers from her own childhood, yet they will backfire horribly in this world of trauma and the supernatural.

Carl Benton Reid as Capt. King

Nell goes out for the evening after asking Suse if she is being too strict on the child and then answering her own question to her own satisfaction. Nell takes dinner up to Eva's room and, after she has gone, the child sneaks out and gains entrance to the locked parlor. Suse hears the pianola suddenly erupt into song again. The earlier shot of the two figures under the blanket, the sense that we hear two childish voices at play, and the eruption of the musical instrument into song add mystery and fright to the story, as if Numa has the ability to come to life and even to control inanimate objects. Nell comes home and sees Numa gone from her spot atop the pianola. Outside, in the dark, Nell seeks out Eva and again hears two girls playing together. She approaches a clearing under a large tree and, for the first time, she (and we) clearly see Eva and Nell as two live girls playing together, but the shot of them is so brief that we could easily doubt what we saw. Nell approaches and finds Numa, alone and leaning over the doll box. She chases Numa off and the girl seems to be trying to say something but unable to, as if she lives in a world of childhood and cannot speak to an adult. In Grubb's story, this is expressed as Numa having "a grief for which it had no tongue," the grief being at the removal of Eva from the world of the living by Nell's actions.

Nell has expressed her thought that the child is one who lives by the river and that she is someone with whom Eva should not play. Numa gives a look back before running off. Nell finds the doll that resembles Eva and screams; she runs off with the box to look for Numa and beg her to come back, dropping the box as she runs. The camera lingers on the face of the doll before Nell returns and cradles the doll in her arms, calling her Eva and crying for her lost daughter. The show ends on a haunting shot of the doll's face.

Juanita Moore as Suse

Is this really a supernatural tale, or is it symbolic of something else, perhaps the death of the unloved child and the attempt by the aunt to place the blame anywhere but on herself? It is a tragic tale as written by James Bridges and, once again, he has taken a good short story and transformed it into something more, a meditation on childhood trauma and misunderstanding between an adult and a child. In the initial scene, at the funeral, Eva appears to be in shock. Nell seems to take her in out of a sense of duty but appears wholly unable to understand and accept the child's need to make sense of her parents' deaths and her new living situation, instead falling back on patterns of behavior and discipline that seem to be misplaced. In the end, Nell's worst fears are realized, as the child she wanted to love disappears from her life forever and she is left with the knowledge that she drove the little girl away.

One of the many strengths of "Where the Woodbine Twineth" is its musical score by Bernard Herrmann (1911-1975). The music sets the scene as it plays under the opening credits, a haunting theme in waltz time played by woodwinds. The score continues on and off throughout the episode and contributes greatly to the mood. This was one of seventeen episodes of The Alfred Hitchcock Hour to be scored by Herrmann; others included "Behind the Locked Door" and "The Jar."

Joel Fluellen as Jessie

The show is well directed by Alf Kjellin (1920-1988), who does especially good work with the child actress. He directed twelve episodes of the Hitchcock series; the last examined here was "A Tangled Web," the first with a script by James Bridges.

Davis Grubb (1919-1980), who wrote the short story, also wrote the story that was adapted for "Return of Verge Likens." These were the only two episodes of the Hitchcock show to feature his work.

Margaret Leighton (1922-1976) plays Nell, the spinster aunt. Her career on stage and on film began in 1938, and she won two Tony Awards for Best Actress in her career. She began appearing in TV shows in 1951 and worked up to her untimely death. She had a role in Hitchcock's Under Capricorn (1949) and was in one other episode of the half-hour series.

Lila Perry as Numa

Eva, the little girl, is played by Eileen Baral (1955- ). The child in the story is five years old. In the TV show, she is six years old. Baral was nine years old when the episode was filmed, but she convincingly plays a girl three years younger than herself. She had a brief career, spanning the years from 1964 to 1972, and all but one of her credits are for TV shows.

Captain King, Nell's father and Eva's grandfather, is played by Carl Benton Reid (1893-1973), who started out on Broadway in 1929 before moving into films in 1941 and TV in 1949. He retired from the screen in 1966 after appearing in three episodes of The Alfred Hitchcock Hour; the other two were "The Jar" and "Run for Doom." He was also seen on Thriller.

Juanita Moore (1914-2014) plays Suse, the black servant who is Eva's closest adult friend. Moore's long career on screen stretched from 1939 to 2001 and her most notable role was in Douglas Sirk's Imitation of Life (1959). She was in four episodes of the Hitchcock show, including "The Gentleman Caller."

Numa as a doll

Also in Imitation of Life was Joel Fluellen (1907-1990), who plays Jessie, Suse's husband. Though his career on screen lasted from 1937 to 1986, this was his only appearance on the Hitchcock show.

Finally, Lila Perry plays Numa as a human; she does not speak in her brief scene and this was the first of four TV credits listed in IMDb from 1965 to 1976.

"Where the Woodbine Twineth" is not available on DVD or online, but you can watch a scene from it here. MeTV has switched back to airing two episodes of Alfred Hitchcock Presents every weeknight and one episode of The Alfred Hitchcock Hour every Sunday night, so it will be a while before this episode airs. You can read Grubb's story online here.

Sources:

Grams, Martin, and Patrik Wikstrom. The Alfred Hitchcock Presents Companion. Churchville, MD: OTR Pub., 2001. Print.

Grubb, Davis. "You Never Believe Me." Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine February 1964. Where the Woodbine Twineth by Davis Grubb. Web. 13 May 2017.

IMDb. IMDb.com. Web. 29 May 2017.

"Where the Woodbine Twineth." The Alfred Hitchcock Hour. NBC. 11 Jan. 1965. Television.

Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation. Web. 29 May 2017.

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