Journey Into Strange Tales Issue 187: Atlas/Marvel Science Fiction + Fantasy Comics!

 

The Marvel/Atlas 
Horror Comics

Part 172

July-August 1960

by Peter Enfantino

and Jack Seabrook

Journey Into Mystery #59

Cover by Jack Kirby & Steve Ditko

"I Unleashed Shagg Upon the World!" ★★

(a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers)

(r: Strange Tales Annual #1)(r: Tomb of Darkness #18)

"I Was Trapped in Horror House!" (a: Paul Reinman) ★

"The Revenge of the Wooden Woman" (a: Steve Ditko) ★★

"I Am the Beast-Man!" (a: Don Heck) ★★1/2

While rummaging through ancient Egyptian ruins, an archaeologist stumbles upon a strange mechanical device hidden beneath the desert. When he flips the switch on the panel, he gets the shock of his life as the nearby sphinx rises up and begins to talk to him. It introduces itself to the excavator as "Shagg, warrior from the third galaxy" and lays out its plot for world domination.

Our hero is drawn within the idol itself and must watch as Shagg works itself across the globe, destroying everything in its path. At one point, riddled with guilt, he screams "I Unleashed Shagg Upon the World!" but, alas, no one can hear him. After destroying Paris (and defeating the "battle-hardened" Parisian troops), Shagg decides America is where it's at and makes the long journey to the States. Reaching New York, Shagg is able to lay waste to skyscrapers while, at the same time, having an inner monologue with his prisoner. 

When Shagg spills the beans about a future invasion by the "fellow third galaxy warriors" who awakened him, our intrepid archaeologist reminds the big lunk that it was he, the puny human, who activated the switchboard. "Ah crap," the sphinx grumbles, "that means my backup ain't arrived yet. I'm too early!" Realizing that a few nukes could surely destroy a lone third galaxy warrior, Shagg uses his Cosmo-Gamma-Electro-Magnetic Wave-Doohickey™ to reassemble all the buildings he's damaged and erase all traces of himself from the minds of earthlings. He then heads back to Egypt for another slumber. With his memory erased, our hero, who fortunately took copious notes while he was terrified for his life, ponders whether the scrawl on the paper is from a fevered brain or whether Shagg will return another day!

These giant monster thrillers are pretty much criticism-safe since they're all loony and make little sense. That said, I always like to point out some of the more... imaginative aspects such as Shagg's boast that he comes from the "Third Galaxy." Is that meant to be third galaxy from our galaxy or third galaxy from the left or... which galaxy does Earth reside in?

In the formulaic "I Was Trapped in Horror House!," an escaped con finds himself hiding out in a carnival haunted house and, in the end, realizes it's actually the gateway to Hell. Well, Stan can't use the word "Hell" because that's a bad thing and the CCA would swoop in and shut Atlas down in a heartbeat, so he does the next best thing and shows the grim reaper and a sign outside the attraction that promises any who enter will meet their "true fate." Truly awful, with a microwaved script and rough panels courtesy of Paul Reinman.

Captain Cork loves only one thing more than the sea and that's the figurehead on his schooner, the beautiful Valkyrie. One dark day, pirates board Cork's ship and toss the Captain and his crew into a small rowboat with enough rations to last two days. Laughing, the pirates head off for treasures and adventures to come, little knowing that they will soon face "The Revenge of the Wooden Woman!" It's all very predictable (but then there are very few surprises to be found in Atlas Comics by 1960), but it's also a charming fantasy with some typically top-notch graphics from Mr. Ditko. If I was a ten year old kid in the Summer of '60 who knew nothing about good art, I'd be watching and waiting for this unnamed penciler who seemed to be able to make the most mundane of subjects magical and other-worldly. That said, the atmospheric splash (above) looks nothing like Steve's usual work.

You say, Peter, if these things are so formulaic and cliche-ridden and, sometimes downright boring, why do you keep reading the damned things? Good question, one that I and my writing partner ask ourselves and each other at least 15-20 times a week, depending on how many stories we have to read. My answer? "I Am the Beast-Man!" 

Secret Commie agent Igor Grozick boards a Russkie sub, armed with the most deadly disguise known to Western Civilization: a bear suit. No, now hang on, don't scoff. Just be patient. Igor's plot is to "sail" (in a life raft) from international waters (it's very hazy as to where the Russkies drop him off) to America and infiltrate the nuclear testing site just before a bomb is blasted, pose as a bear and, eventually, unmask the Americans for the fools they are. Igor easily does this despite the fact that he's on foot, has no visible food or water, and Nevada is hundreds of miles away from any seaport. Stop thinking for a moment and just go with the flow.

Anyway, our stinkin' commie protagonist manages to get to the site just as the bomb goes off and then waits patiently with his bear suit on for the scientists to arrive. When the big thinkers show up, Igor confronts them with a "talking bear" routine, explaining that the radiation from the bomb test has given him the power of speech. The scientists are awestruck (and apparently blind) and take their modern miracle back to the lab. When faced with examination and possible dissection, Igor reminds his captors that, under the Geneva Convention, bears have the same rights as humans and can deny any probing or bodily intrusions. 

Once the word gets out, Igor becomes a public sensation, appearing on the Ed Sullivan Show, giving lectures on hibernation and, at the United Nations, answering that age-old question, "Does a bear..." Just before he announces his intent to run on the next Republican Party ticket, Igor gets word from his bosses that it's time to take the suit off and show the American people just how gullible and stupid they are. He tells his audience that he must have a moment alone, heads in to his dressing room to finally take this stupid bear costume off, and (suhprize suhprize suhprize) finds that the disguise is now permanent. Igor looks at himself in the mirror, shrugs, and decides maybe it's not the Americans who are the дурацкий.

Now this is what I call a story. "I Am the Beast-Man!" made me laugh out loud more than Trump's recent "election integrity" speech, topping every inane twist along the way. I won't take up much more of your time but let's examine Igor's trip from sub to Nevada. I would assume the vessel dropped Igor somewhere off the Gulf of Mexico, which means he would have had to paddle several miles and then walk at least 1500 miles in a single day (Igor notes by morning I was at my destination...) across desert and mountains without any visible transport. With a large bear suit in his attache. Then he sits through the radioactive fallout, never exhibiting any side effects, and calmly converses with some very highly skilled and super-intelligent scientists while wearing a bear suit. The first thing I'd be thinking, were I Ivan, would be: can they see my face through this stupid mouth hole? Second, I'd think about the fact that my words don't synch with my lips. Then I'd worry that maybe that really big zipper on my back isn't hidden properly. Perhaps the Russkies were right; the Americans are gullible morons.

Perhaps my favorite image from "I Am the Beast-Man!" is Igor, standing on stage, holding his speech in his paws, debating the pros and cons of hibernation with a room full of hoity-toitys. This is comedic gold and the proof that even Stan had a sense of humor now and then. That is, if Stan meant it to be a joke.-Peter

Tales of Suspense #10

Cover by Jack Kirby & Steve Ditko

"I Brought the Mighty Cyclops Back to Life!" ★★

(a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers)

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #1)

"I Was Trapped in Nightmare Valley" (a: Paul Reinman) ★

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #4)

"Behind My Door Waits... Medusa!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★★★

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #4)

"I Am the Shaggy Creature" (a: Don Heck) ★★

Duncan, a spoiled, rich young man who's never grown up, is on a boat ride with his girlfriend, the luscious Amanda, and he pops the question. Amanda turns him down, citing the fact that Duncan is a spoiled, rich young man who's never grown up, and then watches as Duncan proves her point by sulking. Ignoring possible danger, Duncan steers the craft into a fog bank and shudders as the ship hits something solid. Turns out the couple have run aground on an uncharted Mediterranean island and they make the best of their misfortune by having a look around the snow-covered landscape.

After scaling a steep mountain, Amanda and her halfwit beau stumble upon a terrifying discovery beneath the ice: the giant Cyclops of mythological lore! Sensing he's found the greatest archaeological relic of the 20th century, Duncan grabs an axe and starts chopping away, dollar signs flashing in his eyes. Though Amanda tries to talk him out of it, Duncan keeps swinging and soon the monster is free. Sure enough, the one-eyed behemoth rises from his icy tomb and chases the couple into a narrow crevice in the mountain. While it's trying to root them out, a ship appears on the horizon and the giant decides he wants a larger meal.

Duncan, feeling guilty as hell, exclaims "I Brought the Mighty Cyclops Back to Life!" and tricks the monster into walking on thin ice. Falling through the thin glacier, the Cyclops is trapped... until the next adventurer comes along. Amanda, seeing a vibrant he-man hero for the first time, agrees to be Mrs. Duncan and the couple sail off into the sunset. Though the script for "Cyclops" mines the same territory as King Kong, the art is dazzling. Though not as chilling as the Harryhausen version, this Cyclops is still a formidable figure and thankfully doesn't spend time delivering speeches about his past conquests or what he intends to do when he reaches the mainland; he just menaces. I have to also admit that this story holds a fond place in my nostalgic funny-book heart. I still remember walking into Thrifty Drugs at the ripe old age of eight and begging my mom to fork over fifteen cents for the first issue of Where Monsters Dwell, the cover subject of which was this here Cyclops. I took that comic home and read it to tatters. 

In the drab "I Was Trapped in Nightmare Valley!," a hunter heads into a forbidden Himalayan region despite the warnings of the locals. Turns out aliens landed there centuries before and possessed the local foliage. The trees are just waiting for their time to conquer Earth. Just then, a volcano erupts and wipes out the threat. Thank goodness for that. Much better is Steve Ditko's "Behind My Door Waits... Medusa!" An old man in a curio shop relates the tale of how he came to possess a very lifelike statue of a terrified man.  Behind an ornately carved door sits the most famous of the gorgon sisters, just waiting for her next victim. Of course, the customers who inquire then scoff at the old man's story, but none dares open the door. Some really special graphics here by Ditko; we never actually see Medusa, just a brief glance (and even then it looks like her mane is alive with bucatini rather than vipers), but the penciling is so detailed we never even give that a second thought. Like "Cyclops," this is one I vividly remember from the early days of Where Monsters Dwell.

Last up is "I Am the Shaggy Creature," wherein really smart genius and "world's greatest scientist" Victor Phillips is on the run from the police for making "fool-proof burglar tools" (!) and must hide out somewhere they won't suspect. He quickly whips up a potion that will turn him into a gorilla and just as quickly invents an antidote. He grabs both vials and heads off to a local carnival where he hides in one of the tents. When the cops finally trace Phillips to his hideout, he downs his formula and jumps into the gorilla cage, antidote at the ready. Unfortunately, Phillips doesn't allow for monkey body... monkey brain. Another strip that highlights just how squanderous these Atlas big brains could be. Phillips has the know-how to invent lots of legal, money-rich devices and he chooses to excel at a better safe cracker. Heck's art is adequate but it's the humorous final panel that wins the day.-Peter

Tales to Astonish #10

Cover by Jack Kirby & Steve Ditko

"I Was Trapped by Titano the Monster That Time Forgot!"

(a: Jack Kirby & Joe Sinnott) ★1/2

(r: Tower of Shadows #7)

"Only I Know When the World Will End!!!" (a: Don Heck) ★1/2

(r: Fear #1)

"Something Lurks Inside!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★★

(r: Fear #1)

"What Was the Strange Power of Simon Drudd!!" ★★

 (a: Jack Kirby & Christopher Rule)

(r: Fear #1)(r: Crazy #76)

A humongous crab known as Titano has started appearing in various watery spots around the globe. It's so big that no one has ever seen more than a portion of the creature. The U.S. Navy is assigned to locate and destroy Titano, so they set out to sea and quickly find him. A descent by bathysphere gives the Navy men the first glimpse of the big fella, and soon an officer named Hartnell hatches a plan. A submarine is painted with luminous paint to attract Tinano's attention and passes by him. Titano gives chase and the sub heads north until it reaches the arctic. Just as Titano lunges for the underwater vessel, it swerves, and Titano is trapped in a glacier!

I am a bit concerned by what I just read in "I Was Trapped By Titano the Monster That Time Forgot." In the last panel, the Navy men wonder what will happen if the glacier thaws. With today's concerns about global warming, how long will it be before we start seeing online reports of Titano sightings? What then?

Why is everyone searching for the man known only as Kartu? He sits alone in a cave in Virginia and thinks back to his sudden, unexpected appearance on Earth, when he turned up in midtown Manhattan, claiming that he was from another planet. Kartu was taken to a hospital, where he said that he came from the planet Aqua-Centurius. He had been vacationing on Sertius Major and was on his way home when he suddenly found himself in a space and time warp that cast him into NYC. The only problem was that he knew that Earth was going to be destroyed the next day when a runaway planet crashed into it!

No one listened to him and he made his escape into the Blue Ridge Mountains. The next day, astronomers witnessed one planet collide with another and destroy it! Everyone realized that Kartu was telling the truth but had gotten mixed up about which planet he was on. Unfortunately, they can't make use of his knowledge because he's in hiding.

"Only I Know When the World Will End!!!" features average Heck art and a story that is a variation on others we've seen before. I'm getting tired of stories that begin in the middle and then have the main character think back to how it all began. I'm also tired of the titles with someone exclaiming, "I Know This or That!"

Ted Karson is the first man sent into outer space. When his ship returns, it circles the Earth and he sends no radio message. People wonder why! When a capsule is dropped from the ship, it's assumed to be a bomb, and his ship is destroyed. The capsule lands and is opened to reveal Karson's flight log.

He wrote that, on his way back to Earth, he landed on Planet X, where he discovered a race of evil, giant spiders. Karson rushed back to his ship, only to find spiders inside. He realized that they traveled on radio waves! One of the creatures bit him and he discovered that he carried a horribly contagious infection. He could not return to Earth and he could not send a radio message that the spiders could use to travel to our planet. His ship had to be destroyed and, by doing so, Earth was saved. A statue is erected to Karson, the man who saved his planet.

The story in "Something Lurks Inside!" is unusually clever and Ditko does his usual good job of illustrating it. This doesn't seem like a retread of a narrative we've read before, so it's more enjoyable than most of the Atlas tales.

A pair of scientists, Bentley and Simon Drudd, work to develop a serum that will restore youth. Everyone laughs at them, but they persist and finally nail it. Bentley wants to share it with the world, but Drudd wants to keep it for himself, postulating that he can take it over and over, accumulate knowledge, and rule the world! Drudd points a gun at Bentley and locks him in a walk-in freezer. Drudd drinks the serum and gets younger and younger until he ceases to exist. Bentley pulls the burglar alarm and tells the story to the cops when they arrive and let him out.

I was enjoying Kirby being Kirby in "What Was the Strange Power of Simon Drudd!!" until the end, when he fell back on the tired plot device of the scientist getting younger and disappearing. Maybe he watched The Incredible Shrinking Man on TV right before he churned this one out.-Jack

Strange Tales #76

Cover by Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers

"I Am Dragoom! The Flaming Invader!" ★★

(a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers)

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #2)(r: Weird Wonder Tales #11)

"Beware!! The Ghosts Surround Me!!" (a: Don Heck) ★

(r: Strange Tales Annual #1) (r: Fantasy Masterpieces #1)

(r: Vault of Evil #19)

"The Dummy and Me!" (a: Paul Reinman) ★

(r: Uncanny Tales #10)

"I Found the Mad Universe!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★★

(r: Uncanny Tales #11)

Victor Cartwright's monster movies are entertaining and profitable, but no one takes him seriously. Then one day, from the planet Vulcan arrives a giant creature made of fire who proclaims, "I Am Dragoom! The Flaming Invader!" Nothing on Earth can stop him and he surrounds the planet with a blanket of flame, making everyone beg for mercy. Dragoom is just settling in as world emperor when he is told of five fire creatures that have arrived in Mexico! He flies there to see them and, believing that they are fiery police from Vulcan, Dragoom flees the Earth, never to return, not realizing that they were just dummies created by the monster movie-maker Victor Cartwright. No one will sneer at him again!

Not bad at all! The end is fairly predictable, but Kirby and Ayers go to town with their depictions of Dragoom. He fills the splash page and takes up more than half of pages three and four. That's a lot of flames to color!

Hans and Gustav commit a robbery in a Transylvanian village and run into the forest. When Hans falls and breaks his leg, Gustav shoots and kills his partner to prevent the man from being caught and revealing his identity to the cops. Deep in the forest, Gustav comes upon a spooky hovel. Inside, he encounters creatures who explain that they live in a parallel dimension--they can't hurt him and he can't hurt them.

Gustav thinks the house is a good hiding place until he passes out. When he awakens, the cops arrive and he's ready to give himself up, but they can't see or hear him because he's now in a different dimension!

What exactly is the point of "Beware!! The Ghosts Surround Me!!"? First of all, there aren't really any ghosts, and they never exactly surround Gustav. Why does he end up in another dimension? Is it the dimension where the creatures live? Who knows? When their dimension is depicted, it resembles a futuristic world, but at the end, Gustav wanders off into a landscape of purple and blue circles. I don't think Carl Wessler was still writing Atlas stories by this point, but the random ending reminds me of something he'd pen.

A ventriloquist has a gambling debt and some crooks show up during his act to collect. After he's done performing on stage, he uses a brief moment of darkness to try to get to his dressing room, where he keeps a gun, but a crook is guarding the door, so the ventriloquist and his dummy head for the prop room. He evades the crooks only to find his gun gone from its drawer. The duo climb out a window and tumble into an alley, where the crooks find them lying on the ground and shoot the tall one. The crooks leave and the short one gets up, relieved that they thought he was the dummy and mistakenly shot the real dummy.

"The Dummy and Me" is just plain awful. Anyone with any sense could see the end coming a mile away. Paul Reinman's art isn't getting any better, either. he's now at the bottom of the Atlas artists.

Professor Dark has built a super-duper microscope that allows him to study the details of the tiniest atom. He discovers that atoms are tiny worlds and on one of them he observes signs of life! Dark witnesses war between the silhouetted creatures and is so horrified that he destroys the microscope. "I Found the Mad Universe!" he tells his assistant, not wanting to display more war and give anyone ideas for new weapons. He calls the atom world--wait for it--Earth!

Auggh! Not again! How many times do we have to suffer through this hackneyed plot and overused surprise ending? Ditko's art is really good, so there's that.-Jack

This Thursday...
Jack Extolls the Virtues of
Benny and Lombard!

And Next Week...
See What Happens When
Don Heck Puts His Foot Down and
Demands Better Scripts!

Journey Into Strange Tales Issue 186: Atlas/Marvel Science Fiction & Fantasy Comics!

 

The Marvel/Atlas 
Horror Comics

Part 171

May-June 1960

by Peter Enfantino

and Jack Seabrook

Journey Into Mystery #58

Cover by Steve Ditko

"Return of the Martian!" (a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers) ★1/2

"I Found Rro... the Thing from the Bottomless Pit!" ★★

 (a: Don Heck & Jack Kirby)

"They Called Me a Witch!" (a: Jack Kirby & Joe Sinnott) ★1/2

"Beware!!! Of the Little Toy Men!!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★★1/2

(r: Marvel Super-Heroes #29)

Minutes after the events documented in the riveting "The Martian" (in JIM #57), Zetora the giant orange Martian breaks out of his cell and heads for Manhattan. Leaving a path of destruction behind him, the swim trunks clad behemoth crushes everything the army throws at him and finally reaches his destination: the United Nations building. There, Zetora somehow squeezes in through the small doors and faces the leaders of all the nations on Earth. He delivers his ultimatum: surrender or perish. Seeing no other way around it, the leaders quickly give in like a bunch of children on a playground and hand Earth over to the Martian. 

Luckily, Zetora picks just that moment to fall over dead. You see, earthlings might be immune to the bacteria found on our planet but... Martians are not! So this will be the deux ex machina from here on out I suppose, with Stan throwing his hands up and shrugging. If it worked for H.G., it should work for Jack and Dick, right? "Return of the Martian" is short on substance but it's got some pretty good creature art.

In "I Found Rro... the Thing from the Bottomless Pit!," a New Mexico engineer digs a hole straight through to the Earth's core and releases a fire-breathing dragon that flies all the way to San Francisco and then comes back to the original dig site (why it did this is never revealed, but I assume it just wanted to check out the surroundings). The army blasts the dragon from the sky and the monster slides back into its hole, but not before dropping a small cylinder etched with hieroglyphic-like engravings. When the suddenly very busy United Nations has the scrawl deciphered, it tells the story of a peaceful dragon race at the center of the Earth that was hoping to meet up with new friends. However, in light of Rro's violent reception, the welcome mat has been pulled. Don Heck's Rro doesn't much resemble Ditko's cover creature; someone forget to tell Don that monsters wear shorts.

In 18th-century Salem, seamstress Amanda Dalton falls hard for handsome John Redmond, but his ex-gal, Evelyn, is a jealous shrew and spreads word throughout the village that Amanda is a witch. John denies the accusations to his neighbors and chalks it up to a jilted Evelyn, and the village folk seem to take his word. Still, Amanda turns down John's offer to marry him because... she really is a witch! "They Called Me a Witch!" ends with a twist we've seen on several occasions across several publishers. Without giant monsters, the Kirby/Sinnott art is pretty bland. Oddly enough, someone thought it okay to include the postal statement right on the splash!

In the finale this issue, "Beware!!! Of the Little Toy Men!!," a newspaper reporter tries to convince his editor that a local eccentric millionaire who's passing out free toy men to kids is actually an alien from space laying the groundwork for invasion. His toy men will rise up and conquer Earth when the time is right. Then the editor tells his journalist that he's insane and to get back to work. Regardless of the rebuff, our hero makes it his duty to alert the citizens of Earth. Some truly awesome graphics from Ditko here while the script is lifeless and, in the end, ridiculous. In the final panels, the reporter finally gets his editor to believe him by revealing a secret that should have the boss calling the men in white suits rather than the FBI!-Peter

Tales of Suspense #9

Cover by Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers

"I Saw Diablo! The Demon from the Fifth Dimension!" ★★

(a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers)

(r: Strange Tales Annual #1)(r: Monsters on the Prowl #30)

"The Wrath of Chondu!" (a: Doug Wildey) ★★

(r: Weird Wonder Tales #7)

"Time on My Hands!" (a: John Forte) ★

"Earth Will Be Destroyed!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★★

(Crypt of Shadows #19)

"The Return of the Living Robot!" (a: Don Heck) ★

An intrepid adventurer overhears talk in a "gloomy Trinidad cafe" of a monster beyond all knowledge of science, a creature made of smoke that lives in the Sierra Madres. Unable to hold himself back, our hero heads to the Aztec village terrorized by the hazy behemoth. Sure enough, within minutes of arriving, the man is screaming "I Saw Diablo! The Demon from the Fifth Dimension!" The giant cloud telepathically relates his story to the bewildered human; Diablo has been on Earth for centuries, gathering up enough power to take over. Nothing on this puny planet can defeat it.

But just before Diablo gets on the walkie-talkie to his Diablo Brothers, our protagonist gets a brainstorm and fools the demon into heading home, job unfinished. Why would inhabitants of a "fifth dimension" recognize themselves as coming from a "fifth dimension?" Wouldn't they consider themselves the "first" and us the "fifth?" How do they know they're not the "sixth" or "tenth?" This must have been one of the easier big monster strips for Kirby to pump out, since Diablo resembles "The Squiggle from the Fifth Dimension." Though our brave adventurer goes nameless (he's the narrator), years later the character is identified as Ulysses Bloodstone, Monster Hunter. 

Doug Wildey's amazing art is the reason to wade through the three pages of "The Wrath of Chondu!," about a mind-reading showman who gets carjacked and must prove he really can warp men's minds. Wildey's work is extremely atmospheric, very much like that of Gene Colan's, and a breath of fresh air amidst so much monotony. Steve Gerber memorably brought Chondu back to team up with two other Atlas title bad guys (Dr. Nagan from "It Walks Erect" in Mystery Tales #21 and Dr. Morgan from "Prisoner of the Fantastic Fog" back in World of Fantasy #11) to take on The Defenders in that team's 21st issue. 

The other three-pager this issue, "Time on My Hands!," concerns a thief who steals into a government building and jumps in a just completed time machine. He sets the dial to 1975, jumps out, and heads for the local library, where he looks up the winning nags for the races on the day after he left. The knucklehead then heads back to his craft, only to find it missing. When he tells a passing cop that he's misplaced his time machine, the cop runs him in. Time machines have been illegal since 1973! Besides, the cop sighs, the dope parked his gizmo in a garbage disposal and it's been incinerated. This is an almost note for note rewrite of "Trapped in Tomorrow" from Strange Tales #68 (April 1959). The ink is barely dry before Stan is ripping himself off now.

Having destroyed their own world through nuclear war, the inhabitants of Gorgon look to make another world their own: Earth. The planet's supreme ruler orders his scientists to lock in their terrifying U-Gun on Earth and fire when ready. "Earth Will Be Destroyed!" But the eggheads are perplexed, since the U-Gun simply spins in circles, unable to fix on its target. Ya know why? Cuz Gorgon is a tiny speck on a microscope slide and it's about to be washed away. Another groaner aided significantly by the dazzling pencil of Mr. Ditko. Last up is "The Return of the Living Robot!," a sequel to last issue's "It Walks By Night!" The Living Robot survives his fall into the sea and vows vengeance on mankind by... returning to civilization and changing the dumb laws that make robots illegal. 

No destruction or widespread panic in this guy's plans. The Robot steals the identity of his friend, Cyril Stredford, a man who has the ear of the House of Commons and pleads his case to the government. Just as the law is about to be repealed, the real Cyril bursts through the doors, screaming "I Was Attacked by the Living Robot Who Wasn't Really Me!" The Robot grabs a hunk of the highway, but Cyril catches up to him and, in a brutal brawl, tosses the artificial man off a roof and then ponders whether a good robot like himself can change the views of mankind. Yep, Cyril is a robot too!!! Who'd a thunk? As dumb as this entry is, I do like the idea of sequels to these Atlas tales. I'm not saying that will raise the level of quality, but it's an interesting idea.-Peter

Tales to Astonish #9

Cover by Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers

"Return of the Genie!" (a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers) ★★

(r: Vault of Evil #11)

"No Way Out" (a: Steve Ditko) ★

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #34)

"I Saw Droom the Living Lizard!" (a: Don Heck) ★1/2

(r: Fantasy Masterpieces #8)(r: Where Monsters Dwell #28)

"Fangs of the Bear" (a: Doug Wildey) ★

(r: Crypt of Shadows #13)

After months of being stuck in a bottle resting in swamp mud, the genie is freed when an old feller happens by and pulls the cork for a peek inside. Seeking revenge on the human race, the genie flies to Manhattan and covers it with a magic vapor that removes the law of gravity. He then flies to Chicago and reduces everyone to insect size, then to Detroit, where he turns domestic pets into giants, and on to other cities.

His big idea is to bring the moon to Earth, scaring people who fear a collision. Finally, he creates an army of goliaths and takes over one country after another. The genie plans to take over the galaxy but, when his spaceship exits Earth's atmosphere, he loses his powers. Next thing he knows, he's back in the bottle in the swamp, aware that he'll remain trapped until he learns a lesson about greed.

Kirby and Ayers draw some decent panels depicting the mad genie, but the story goes nowhere. Was any reader clamoring for the "Return of the Genie!"? I know I wasn't.

In the 21st century, man can travel to the farthest reaches of our nine planets (Pluto still counted) but some mysterious barrier prevents ships from going any further. Is there "No Way Out"? Dr. Harris, a top scientist, volunteers to pilot a spaceship to the barrier and see what's up. He gets there and can't break through, so he heads home, where he sees a fish bowl and suspects that mankind is being protected, like fish in a bowl, by some mysterious force.

Far from Ditko's best work and a terrible story to boot. There is unintentional hilarity when Harris gets out of his rocket ship and takes a power drill to the invisible space barrier. Nope! That doesn't work either.

Hoping to solve the problem of overpopulation, a scientist named Henry Gordon invents a serum to make produce grow bigger so it can provide more food for hungry people. When some of his serum accidentally spills on a lizard, it grows to enormous size! "I Saw Droom the Living Lizard!" thinks the scientist, and Droom starts knocking over buildings.

The military can't stop Droom and the president declares a state of emergency. Droom heads out to the country and plucks a bomber from the sky before it can drop a nuclear bomb on him! Finally, the military attaches rockets to Droom and launches him into outer space! Droom stops growing, spends ten million years in suspended animation, and ends up on the primitive planet known as Earth, where his kind will rule until they die out.

Hoo boy, not another story where it turns out that the events we're seeing a) did not happen on Earth and b) happened a really long time ago. What a shock! Heck probably wasn't the best choice to draw this story, but how many pages could Kirby crank out in a month? Wait--don't answer that.

A man invents a robot teddy bear and sells it to a toy shop where rich people shop, intending to use the cuddly little guy to commit robberies. A rich couple buys the bear and takes it home, so the inventor has the bear steal a jewelry box and return to the lab. The next day, the inventor sells the same bear back to the toy store, claiming it's a new one, and it's purchased by a poor young man who takes it home and gives it to his disabled son. Despite the inventor's best efforts to recall it, the bear refuses to leave the boy's side. The inventor grabs a gun, goes to the family's apartment, and demands that they give him the teddy bear. The bear attacks the man and squeezes him till he passes out; the cops come and take the crook away and the boy and his bear live happily ever after.

"Fangs of the Bear" wraps up a terrible issue of Tales to Astonish. The bear doesn't even have fangs! It amazes me that Marvel reprinted all four of these stories in the 1970s. I guess they were looking to fill pages and not worried about quality.-Jack

Strange Tales #75

Cover by Jack Kirby & Steve Ditko

"Taboo! The Thing from the Murky Swamp!" 

(a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers) ★★1/2

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #2)(r: Weird Wonder Tales #13)

"The Return of the Totem!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★1/2

(r: Weird Wonder Tales #13)

"Doomsday!" (a: Paul Reinman) ★1/2

"I Made the Hulk Live" (a: Don Heck) ★1/2

(r: Tomb of Darkness #22)

Lewis Conrad, the famous explorer whose adventure books sell millions of copies, is in the Amazon Rainforest when he encounters "Taboo! The Thing from the Murky Swamp!" Taboo looks like a great big creature made of mud, but when he picks up Conrad, Taboo uses mental telepathy to explain that he's really an alien who is stranded on Earth. Lewis agrees to help the mucky guy get home and visits the United Nations, where every nation shares its scientific knowledge with him.

Lewis returns to the swamp and gives Taboo a device containing all of the knowledge, but the monster laughs and says he tricked us and will return to destroy all of humanity. Taboo flies off into space, where he blows up--Lewis  put an H-bomb in the device that could be detonated by remote control just in case Taboo was lying.

The splash page by Kirby and Ayers is dynamite and the story's not bad either! I was expecting some pushback from world leaders when Lewis asked if they could share all of their scientific knowledge so that he could give it to a swamp creature, but they didn't have a problem with it. I was glad that Taboo turned out to be a sneaky villain and that we were able to blow him up. That was a pretty neat trick to hide an H-bomb in the device!

"The Return of the Totem!" finds the big wooden pole hopping back to the Indian village after knocking a big hole in the wall of the jail. It picks up teepees and makes mayhem, so the tribe races to a nearby cave and hides. The old Indian visits the police to warn them, but they scoff at the thought of a walking totem pole until it attacks the mayor's home that night. The next day, the totem pole disrupts a company picnic but is stopped by the old Indian, who tosses some magic potion on the pole and causes it to fall off a cliff into water, where it drifts out to sea.

Will the totem return? I certainly hope not. These stories are hard to take and even Ditko seems to realize how silly the idea of a totem pole hopping after people is.

While arguing about whether there is a supernatural force that governs the universe and maintains order, a pair of scientists named Walter and Lynn invent a deadly gas called X-39 that will kill everyone on Earth in 24 hours and accidentally knock over a beaker of the stuff, releasing it into the atmosphere! As it spreads, the scientists chat about all of the terrible battles that have occurred throughout human history. Suddenly, a powerful wind comes out of nowhere and blows the gas safely into space! Now Walter agrees with Lynn that some force protects the universe.

Some of Paul Reinman's panels in "Doomsday!" look a bit like the work of Gil Kane, but this story is essentially a page filler. One would think that scientists would be a bit more careful with a gas that could kill everyone on Earth. Oops! Knocked it over!

A short man named Al vows to get revenge on those who mocked him, so he develops a formula to make him tall and powerful! It doesn't work, so he builds a giant robot outfit that he can wear in his quest to become ruler of the world. Al climbs inside and the suit locks around him, but he realizes that he left the key to the starter on the lab table, so now he's stuck inside!

The most interesting thing about "I Made the Hulk Live" is its title, which anticipates the Marvel hero who will come a few years later. This is another story about a scientist who makes a stupid mistake. Nothing much happens outside of his imagination.-Jack

Thursday on The 100:
No One Said These Were All
Going to Be Good Time Fun Flicks!

And In One Week...
A Genuine
Ditko Classic!

Journey Into Strange Tales Issue 185: Atlas/Marvel Science Fiction & Fantasy Comics!

 

The Marvel/Atlas 
Horror Comics

Part 170

March-April 1960

by Peter Enfantino

and Jack Seabrook

Journey Into Mystery #57

Cover by Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers

"Orogo!! The Nightmare from Outer Space!!" 

(a: Don Heck & Jack Kirby) ★1/2

(r: Fantasy Masterpieces 2)(r: Where Monsters Dwell #12)

"The Earth-Crawlers!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★★1/2

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #12)

"The Metal Monster" (a: Paul Reinman) ★

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #12)

"The Martian Who Stole My Body!" ★1/2

(a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers)

(r: Fear #7)

"Orogo!! The Nightmare from Outer Space!!" arrives on Earth looking for laborers to bring back with him in his gargantuan spaceship. No one can avert their gaze from Orogo's hypnotic eye and soon the giant is nudging thousands of earthlings aboard his vessel. Only one man can stand up to the mighty Orogo; ironically, it's an old man who spends his time sitting on a park bench and staring off into space. It's 100% predictable why the elderly gent is not swayed by Orogo's pulsating orb, but the secret is played out over six pages. My favorite panel is when Orogo is defied and his entire metallic body shuts down; it looks like he's throwing a tantrum!

Would-be inventor Henry Salt has a nagging wife who wants her hubby to whip up a gizmo that will make them rich. Henry insists he's working on something that will make the world a better place to live. "Pshaw!" exclaims the old ball and chain, "Get to work on making my life easier!" Shrugging off his first impulse to bury a hatchet in the old crow's head, Henry continues his work.

Meanwhile, in Africa, disgraced voodoo witch doctor Tutaku escapes from prison and swears vengeance on all mankind. He heads back to his hut, grabs his magic potion, and stands triumphantly on a cliff overlooking the valley. He dumps the formula out over the land but then, in an unfortunate accident, he is killed by his own secret potion. Down in the valley, the vegetation goes wild, growing to mammoth proportions and absorbing all the water around it. Scientists decree that the world will end soon as a dry and arid wasteland if something isn't done.

Coincidentally, back at Henry Salt's place, the quasi-scientist is demonstrating to a prospective buyer the incredible function of his new invention: a machine that can stop rain from falling in certain areas. What are the chances? Henry's attention is diverted to a nearby TV screen and he learns about the troubles in Africa. After contacting the State Department, Henry is rushed to the "dark continent" by the military and saves the world! Hurrah! I can only thank Henry for having the wherewithal to work on such a niche gizmo or we would all have succumbed to "The Earth-Crawlers!" sooner or later. What would the benefits of such a machine be? I was completely caught up in this silly yarn thanks to the imaginative script and Ditko gloss.

Construction foreman Mason accepts a job in Europe to build a road through an ancient forest but runs afoul of a group of gypsies who place a curse on him. Shortly thereafter, Mason is attacked and stalked by his own bulldozer. Salvation arrives in the form of one of the gypsies who elicits a promise from the construction boss to detour his road away from the forest. A really dumb and suspenseless fantasy yarn with ho-hum graphics from the declining Paul Reinman. It's obvious that when Stan and his brother/writing partner Larry Leiber were cooking up "The Metal Monster!" they thought it perfectly fine to "borrow" from Theodore Sturgeon's "Killdozer!" (a story that would, ironically, pop up fourteen years later in an authorized adaptation in Worlds Unknown #6).

The day is not going great for John Warren. First, his Dalmatian, the uniquely named "Spot," won't behave and then John runs into a rogue Martian (here on Earth avoiding persecution on his home planet) who switches places with our hapless hero. John is stuck inside a gigantic red-orange body and can't make his neighbors see the truth. After all is said and done, the authorities take his word for it when Spot starts licking his gargantuan feet. You can't fool a dog! John gets the Martian to switch bodies and the world is safe again. Well, who knows, since the sequel, "The Martian Returns!," debuts next issue. "The Martian Who Stole My Body!" follows the Lee/Kirby (or is it really just Kirby/Kirby?) formula to a tee; pert near every gigantic menace from here on out will sport swimming trunks to preserve their modesty.-Peter

Tales of Suspense #8

Cover by Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers

"Monstro... the Menace from the Murky Depths!" ★★1/2

(a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers)

"The Story of Sammy Snork!" (a: Bill Everett) ★

"I Am the Changing Man!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★★

"The Runaway Planet!" (a: Doug Wildey) ★

"It Walks by Night!" (a: Don Heck) ★★

The stinkin' commies are up to no good again, this time testing atomic weapons and exposing the sea's creatures to radioactivity. Thus is born "Monstro... the Menace from the Murky Depths!," a gargantuan octopus who slinks his way into a commie port and begins destroying everything around it. In an awkward show of good faith, the American government allows Professor Faraday to fly behind the Iron Curtain to study and hopefully defeat the newly-monikered Monstro!

Faraday dives down into the sea to get a better look at the monster and evidently sees something no one else can see. He surfaces and explains to the stinkin' Red military officials that within 24 hours Monstro will disappear. Taking this as a show of cowardice, the Reds give Faraday a less than appreciative boot in the ass on his way out of town. Sure enough, the next day, the giant octopus disappears and Faraday explains to his Washington boss that he immediately recognized that Monstro had been exposed to a huge dose of radioactivity due to atomic testing and the side effects would only last a day. Chuckling, Faraday turns to the window and hopes that this will be a lesson for the commies: it's not good to mess with atomic weapons (well, unless you're the U.S., I guess).

"Monstro..." isn't more brilliant than "Orogo" or "Mummex" or "Gorgolla," but I really like the Kirby/Ayers vision this time out. Sure, Monstro never shows more than four or five of his deadly tentacles and he's got a funny set of peepers, but he's one of the more dynamic giants we've seen so far. 

By 1960, the three-page sf/f tale had become virtually extinct in the Atlas titles, yet in this issue we have two, neither of which is noteworthy. First up is "The Story of Sammy Snork!," wherein the titular bank robber stows away on a carnival ride purporting to be a Martian spaceship. Guess what? You're not going to believe it but... yep... it's a real spaceship! Sammy goes to Mars and becomes an exhibit in a zoo. Never saw that ending coming. In "The Runaway Planet!," brilliant and really smart Professor Hauptmann insists the planet that's heading for a collision with Earth will never hit. The Prof is sure that God has more of a plan for us than extinction by accident. He's kinda right. What these two short-shorts have in common is some nice art and cliche-riddled writing. Both also look like they may be "vault" stories, which would explain their length.

Ozak is sent from the planet Deth to scout an invasion plan for Earth. Ozak's greatest asset is that he can assimilate any shape or form so he impersonates television reporters and newscasters in order to spread disinformation and sow the seeds of anarchy. Unfortunately for "The Changing Man!," his awesome ability becomes his Achille's heel and his plot is derailed. The reveal is pretty silly, but Ditko (who would create a "Changing Man" character several years later for DC) does his best to keep us turning pages. 

Last up is "It Walks By Night!," wherein we discover that by 1999 mankind has become fat and lazy and depends on robots for all activities. Then, when the robots rebel against their human masters, androids are declared illegal, rounded up, and destroyed. But one lone scientist swims against the tide, building what he considers to be a bigger, stronger robot, ignoring the fact that if he's caught he'll be executed. His plan is discovered when he's testing his new toy out in the woods and the authorities converge on him, destroying the machine and cornering the genius on a high cliff. Opting for death by fall rather than firing squad, our hero (?) takes the dive. Later, after the cops have left, the man rises from the water with a bit of his metal skin showing through. Oh my God, he's a robot too! To be continued next issue. That last panel, of course, is full-on cheat, since we're given no clues throughout that this guy is anything but a brilliant but flawed scientist. Heck's design for the Robot: Mach II in "It Walks..." is just a little too close to that of "Orogo" in JIM #57. This is the second tale this month with a sequel on the horizon.-Peter

Tales to Astonish #8

Cover by Jack Kirby & Steve Ditko

"I Dared Defy the Floating Head!" (a: Paul Reinman) ★

(r: Where Creatures Roam #2)

"I Live Again!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★

(r: Where Creatures Roam #3)

"I-Am-The-Genie!" (a: Jack Kirby & Steve Ditko) ★★

(r: Fear #1)

"Mummex---King of the Mummies!" (a: Don Heck) ★★

(r: Fear #1)

On a hot summer day in 1965 in New York City, a huge, green, floating head appears in the sky and announces that it is the harbinger of an invasion force from the planet, Aqua Mentorus. Air force jets open fire but the head disappears and reappears over Long Island. The head explains that it can travel by thought alone and also cause destruction, something it demonstrates by willing an empty warehouse to blow up.

Fortunately, a teenager named Bruce quickly deduces that the head is just a projection and its booming voice is coming from loudspeakers. The cops arrest a group of criminals in Central Park who had planned to force an evacuation of the city so they could loot it. The mayor thanks Bruce for teaching everyone the lesson of not panicking in the face of danger.

"I Dared Defy the Floating Head!" is not a good start to this issue. The art by Paul Reinman is below average and the premise is idiotic. Why would New Yorkers not figure out that the head was being projected and the voice was coming from speakers? It's more likely that they would've ignored it.

One of the statues (presumably Evil) from last issue's "I Spent Midnight with the Thing on Bald Mountain!" announces that "I Live Again!" and climbs back up the mountain to find an empty castle. It goes on a rampage, destroying everything in its path. The living statue hops a ship to America and reaches Florida, where it enters a dark place that it thinks it can wait, undisturbed, before wreaking more havoc. Oops! The statue is on a rocket ship that takes off for outer space, never to return.

Well, I guess that's that. There was no sign of the Good statute that also fell off the mountain in the prior story. This story is at least as bad as the one about the floating head and Ditko, whose art is usually good, isn't even trying. If it weren't signed, I'd wonder if someone else drew it.

While he's in prison, Freddie Sykes passes the time by reading fairy tales. His favorite story is the one about the genie, so when he's released, Freddie heads to the library and does some research. He reads about an old gypsy who tossed a bottle with a genie in a swamp, so he heads south, locates the bottle, pulls the cork, and out comes a giant genie!

Freddie demands a solid gold castle, which the genie provides. He asks for a winged horse and gets one. Freddie's demands grow more outrageous: he tells the genie to make the Atlantic Ocean disappear and to blot out the sun. Finally, Freddie decides that he wants to trade places with the genie. The genie agrees, but what Freddie didn't realize is that, once he's a genie, he has to obey orders! The former genie confines the evil Freddie to a bottle and leaves him to ponder his fate.

The story in "I-Am-The-Genie!" is run of the mill but the art is interesting in that it's about 80% Ditko and 20% Kirby. There's the standard Kirby panel at the bottom of page five where a crowd of onlookers gaze up in horror, and the panel in the middle of page six showing the genie's face is pure Kirby, but the rest of the story is much more Ditko than Kirby, and I prefer that.

Paul Fleming's archaeological trip to Egypt takes a surprising turn when "Mummex---King of the Mummies!" suddenly rises from the desert sand. The huge mummy wanders around, looking for something in one pyramid after another before heading to Cairo. He pulls the roof off of a museum and looks inside before giving up and returning to the desert. Fleming discovers that Mummex had a spaceship buried in the sand--he was an alien from another planet and he departed from Earth!

On the planet Andromeda, Mummex--whose real name is Rakka-takes off his mummy bandages, which protected his body during space travel, and announces that he was unable to find any stranded spacemen on Earth. It turns out he's with the Galactic Missing Persons Bureau!

I feel like a broken record. Don Heck's art is pretty nice but the story is dopey. There is never any sense of menace from the enormous mummy, which just lumbers around looking for something and then departs. The revelation that it's an alien is worthy of a big groan.-Jack

Strange Tales #74

Cover by Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers

"Gorgolla! The Living Gargoyle!!" (a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers) ★★

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #1) (r: Astonishing Tales #22) (r: Where Monsters Dwell #35)

"Beware the Hands of Hundu!" (a: Don Heck) ★1/2

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #35)

"I Was Trapped in the Nightmare World" (a: Paul Reinman) ★1/2

"When the Totem Walks!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★★

(r: Weird Wonder Tales #10)

David Hartnell's summer assignment for his architecture class is to research the origin of gargoyles. He travels to Tibet and finds a remote valley with a gigantic stone wall. Behind the wall, David discovers "Gorgolla! The Living Gargoyle!!" The giant stone creature picks David up and nearly talks him to sleep, explaining how all the gargoyles on Earth are actually (surprise, surprise) aliens who traveled here from the faraway planet of Stonus Five and are waiting on buildings for the right time to attack the human race.

Gorgolla explains the awful events that will follow and, despite David's pleas, the creature sends out the signal for the gargoyles to stop hanging out atop buildings and start attacking. To the giant gargoyle's dismay, gargoyles arrive from all over the Earth and attack Gorgolla! Why did they turn on their leader? The gargoyles helpfully explain to David that they watched humans and learned of love and charity, which beats their slave status on Stonus Five. They're happy to serve as guardians of the human race. David goes back to class at summer's end and tells the prof that he was unable to learn the origin of gargoyles, deciding that the story of Gorgolla should be kept secret.

At seven pages, this may be the longest story we've read yet. It's not bad, and the inks by Dick Ayers really bring out all of Kirby's artistic quirks. The gargoyles really look similar to the sort of creatures we'll see in a few years in the superhero comics.

Hundu's paintings bring him fame and fortune, but nothing brings him any closer to Anne, the woman he loves, since she's in love with a writer named Mark Walker. When Anne sends Hundu a telegram that she's marrying Mark, the artist loses his temper and lashes out at the old man who cleans his studio. Mark decides to take a trip to Europe to forget his sorrow. In Germany, he sees an old gypsy man and convinces the fellow to sit for a portrait. The old gypsy gets sick before the portrait is finished and gives Hundu a box of oil paints that will make any picture he creates come true!

Hundu discovers that the paints work and uses them to create a picture of his rival, Mark, in prison on Death Row. After starting on a self-portrait of himself as dictator of the world, Hundu leaves his studio for the night. While he's gone, the old cleaner accidentally knocks the painting out the window and it falls three floors to the ground. As a result, Hundu lies broken on the floor, unable to reach the magic paint. Once it is all washed down the drain, everything Hundu magically created disappears, and Mark and Anne live happily ever after.

"Beware the Hands of Hundu" doesn't even try to make sense. The first thing Hundu paints is a silly hat on a picture of himself, in order to confirm that he was a fool for dealing with the gypsy, but the next thing he paints (of course) is a treasure chest filled with jewels. He then paints Mark on death row, followed by a picture of the Empire State Building upside down! In the end, if the paint's disappearance makes everything go back to normal, why is Hundu still injured? This is not one of Don Heck's better efforts.

Mr. Brown has a theory that people have similar dreams because there is a dream world that everyone visits while they sleep. He goes to sleep and enters the dream world, where he encounters ghostly figures and strange things. In the end, the ghostly figures reveal that they are afraid of him and consider him a nightmare creature. He awakens and wonders if life is but a dream.

"I Was Trapped in the Nightmare World" is slightly better than watching paint dry, but not by much. It's too bad this wasn't assigned to Ditko, who would have made the dream world more interesting.

Hunk and Bull escape from prison one night and make their way to a small Indian village by dawn, where they hold the natives at gunpoint and demand food. The convicts decide that they will have to kill all the Indians to eliminate them as witnesses, so an old man asks a large totem pole to come to life. That night, Hunk and Bull discover that, "When the Totem Walks!," it's coming after them! Bullets don't stop it, so the cons head back to the prison, thinking they'll be safe, but the totem pole bends the bars on the prison window and... continued next issue!

It's a little far-fetched to think of a large totem pole chasing anyone--it does more of a hop or a teeter-totter than a walk--but Ditko pulls it off and the story is reasonably enjoyable. Will we start to see more continued stories now?-Jack

On Thursday...
Peter Openly
Invites Derision

And Next Week...
Beware of...
RRO!!!