The 100 Chapter 13: 74 & 73

 

Who doesn't love a list?

I devour the BFI Best Films of All Time list whenever they deem it necessary to revise and (invariably) disagree with most of the findings, but I still get a kick out of browsing. Same with Rolling Stone's inane Best 100 Albums (how does Sgt. Pepper drop from #1 to #24 in the latest incarnation?); the anger I feel subsides when I see they've put a couple of Aerosmith albums on the list! We all disagree with that number one but we keep right on scrolling through each choice.

This project, which has been percolating for quite a while, originated from the constant back and forth "good natured bickering" between John Scoleri and myself. John invariably loves everything and I hate it all (for more of the discourse, I advise one and all to pick up a copy of bare•bones print magazine and read our debates about streaming and movie theaters to get a taste). I began to think it would be fun to compose a Favorite (as opposed to Best) 100 and compare our selections. Making it even more tantalizing, I managed to talk the third head of Ghidorah, Jack Seabrook, into participating. This could be interesting, since John's never seen a movie the two Georges (Romero and Lucas) didn't have a hand in, and Jack usually favors the flicks that have words at the bottom of the screen (dis-moi que j'ai tort, Jack!). I, on the other hand, can't wait to educate these two gentlemen as to what constitutes good cinema.

Every Thursday, we'll count down our picks two at a time. We're hoping this will generate discourse outside of our trio. Let us know just how crazy we are. This is going to be fun!—Peter

White of the Eye (1987) 

Starring: David Keith, Cathy Moriarty, Art Evans

Directed by Donald Cammell

"Ah, Caryanne? Er, listen. I've got a marital problem."

Here's one that is very hard to put in a specific box. It starts out with a slasher movie cliche: the murder of a pretty girl done artsy style. It's a miracle I didn't turn this one off after that first murder scene but for some reason I prevailed and discovered a hidden gem, one I had not heard a thing about. I don't really remember how I came to see White of the Eye but I assume it was a VHS rental in '88.

The setting is Globe, Arizona, a sleepy mining town (I've been through Globe several times and can attest it is verrrry sleepy), where a nasty murder has the public up in arms and the cops without a clue. That is, until a laid back but very clever detective starts piecing clues together and comes up with local audio/video installer Paul White. Couldn't be Paul though since we've gotten to know him and his family. Nice guy. Hard worker. Has a tuning fork inside his head (and the scene where he demonstrates is a classic). Yeah, so he's having an affair with the wife of a rich businessman who's never at home... every guy in the 80s was stepping out, right?

Anyway, to make a long story short, Paul is in the crosshairs of the cops while trying to smooth things out with his wife (the affair becomes public knowledge thanks to the investigation). Poor Paul. It's about this time that director Cammell starts showing his cards and the weirdness starts escalating. I won't spoil the twist but the last thirty minutes is a gorgeous nightmare. Keith is fantastic as White, seemingly befuddled and cool as a cucumber at the same time. His character goes through several changes and he manages to keep up with every one of them. I wouldn't argue with anyone labeling this an "American Giallo." The mood shifts here are unlike just about any other horror flick. It's also got a score that is 50% awesome and 50% shit (the latter bits sound like drum machine noises lifted from a John Hughes flick), soundtrack by Nick Mason of Pink Floyd.

Back in '89 we came up with our Top Ten Flicks of the 1980s list and this landed smack dab at number one. I'm not sure what I was smoking at the time but there are two films I hold higher and we'll get to those soon. Still, this is about as good as a slasher flick gets. If you want to see this and don't want it spelled out for you (including the twist), avoid the trailer below.—Peter

Remarks from the Gallery:

Jack: I have never even heard of this one!

John: I recall you showing me this one (yes, it was on VHS), and while it was good, your buildup set my expectations way too high. It's worth watching, but even as you now admit, it wasn't the best horror film (let alone best film) of the '80s. 

Seven Samurai (1954) 

Starring: Toshiro Mifune, Takashi Shimura

Directed by Akira Kurosawa

"This baby... is me! This is exactly what happened to me!"

In late 16th century Japan, the people of a small village of peasant farmers hire seven samurai to protect them from roving bands of bandits who routinely steal their harvest. The samurai work for food and prepare the farmers for the battle of their lives.

Seven Samurai is one of the best action films I've ever seen. I just watched it again—all three and a half hours of it!—and it never drags. The direction by Kurosawa is incredible and I was really taken with his use of editing wipes to transition from scene to scene without slowing down the story.

Toshiro Mifune is great as Kikuchiyo, who isn't really a samurai but who is more enthusiastic about fighting than anyone else. Takashi Shimura is terrific as Kambei, the first samurai to agree to help the villagers; he becomes the leader and his quiet professionalism is what holds everything together. I recently saw Shimura in another Kurosawa film, Drunken Angel, and he's great there, too. The cast is perfect, the story is thrilling, and the direction is flawless. This should have been much higher on my list! Ah, the difficulties of ranking.—Jack

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: I'm sure there are movie fanatics out there who will call for my head and burn movie reels on my lawn (shades of "Pigeons from Hell"!) but I prefer The Magnificent Seven. I'm not saying I don't like Samurai but Magnificent tells a more compact tale and has some pretty cool stars. And if it makes you feel better, Jack, Magnificent is higher up on my list.

John: Of course Peter likes the Western take more than the subtitled Japanese version. I'm also a Samurai fan, but it didn't make my list, I'd probably have been more inclined to put Yojimbo ahead of it (I'm partial to Kurosawa with widescreen aspect ratio). But can you really go wrong when Kurosawa pairs with Mifune? 

Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn (1987) 

Starring: Bruce Campbell

Directed by Sam Raimi

"Groovy."

I caught Sam Raimi's Evil Dead on VHS after reading about it in Fangoria, and I loved it. Despite its low-budget trappings, it was ferocious, with a streak of dark humor, and it has a classic horror film ending. So when Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn was released in 1987, I was there on opening night—and I loved it even more. The slapstick humor was amped up but the horrific elements were still present. Just a load of fun at the hands of Raimi and his go-to shemp, Bruce Campbell. And the ending is brilliant, setting up the tonally different but still fun Army of Darkness. 

I picked this one for my list as it had the most significant impact on me, and I think it offers a perfect balance of horror and comedy. I'll recommend the first film to die hard horror fans, and the third to just about anyone, but this one I'll often take a chance on, since I think the humor makes it a little more accessible for those not quite ready for the original.—John

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: Yeah, I can groove with this one. Three Stooges Meet the Demons, right? I just rewatched ED2 a couple months ago as the result of having a teen stepdaughter who dug the new series and wanted to dip her feet into the "classics." It holds up thanks to all its goofy energy.

Jack: I actually saw Evil Dead when it came out, but I never saw the sequel.

Young Frankenstein (1974) 

Starring: Gene Wilder, Marty Feldman, Peter Boyle

Directed by Mel Brooks

"My grandfather's work... was doo-doo!"

Some will argue with my placement of Young Frankenstein over Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein... make no mistake, I love that one too... but Mel Brooks's loving tribute to the Universal horror movies is, minute for minute, the funnier of the two. Mel and Gene must have had their cast prep with all the Frankenstein flicks; all the bits are spot on. The music is perfect, the sets (including the original Frankenstein lab equipment built by Kenneth Strickfaden) are on the money, and eight out of ten of the jokes and sight gags land (and that's a really good percentage for a comedy), 

And, oh that cast: Wilder and Feldman have a natural chemistry (that would carry over into the underrated The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes' Smarter Brother the following year) that makes any scene between the two a riot; Madeline Kahn and Teri Garr are the bodice-busting heroines you always wanted to see in your black and white monster movies; Kenneth Mars does a better Atwill impersonation than Lionel himself; Cloris Leachman as the mysterious Frau Blücher (cue the neighing horses) escalates from sinister to uproarious with her violin playing and that final exclamation, "Yes... he was my... boyfriend!"; and who the hell knew Peter Boyle and Gene Hackman could be funny?

I saw this one about five or six times at the Almaden Twin on its first run. I just kept going back and, even at that young age of thirteen, I wondered how many of the folks in the audience really got it. Sure, the "knockers" joke always brought the roof down, but did anyone around me know how the Inspector acquired that wooden arm?—Peter

Remarks from the Gallery:

Jack: I love this movie and it’s much higher up on my list!

John: This is one of my all-time favorite comedies, and boy does it hold up to repeat viewings. My question isn't why is it higher than A&C Meet Frankenstein—it's how can you be talking about it already??? Damn your eyes!

Mary Poppins (1964)

Starring: Julie Andrews, Dick Van Dyke

Directed by Robert Stevenson

"I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."

"What's the name of his other leg?"

Things are in a bit of an uproar at the Banks house in 1910 London. The children have run away again and the nanny quits. Mrs. Banks is an avowed suffragette, too busy with marches and protests to take care of her daughter and her son, and Mr. Banks is too busy in his job as a bank executive. Onto the scene comes Mary Poppins, the perfect nanny who, with her friend Bert, turns everyone's lives upside down for a while and teaches Mr. Banks a lesson about the importance of balancing work and home life.

That's a quick outline of the plot of Mary Poppins, but it's the actors, the photography and special effects, and especially the songs that make it so memorable. The film made Julie Andrews a star, and rightly so, and Dick Van Dyke is astoundingly good as Bert, among whose jobs is that of chimney sweep. The extended song and dance number on the rooftops, where the sweeps leap from chimney to chimney, is breathtaking, and the movie's songs will forever be stuck in my head. Even the minor cast members are memorable, from Elsa Lanchester as the first nanny to Ed Wynn as the uncle whose laughter causes him to float into the air. There may be a few spots where it drags--the visit to the animated world and the tea party--but overall, it's a heartwarming, fun experience that will leave you humming.

Oh, and I'd bet this is the first and last time that Mary Poppins and Hellraiser will be discussed in the same post!—Jack

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: Well, fersure, it's the last time I'll discuss either movie. I saw Mary Poppins as a youngster during one of its many re-releases. This one never clicked with me; too many songs perhaps. But that Julie Andrews was pretty hot.

John: It's a solid film, to be sure, but the Julie Andrews film that flirted with my list (and still didn't make the final cut) was the Robert Wise classic, The Sound of Music. 

Hellraiser (1987) 

Starring: Doug Bradley, Ashley Laurence

Directed by Clive Barker

"We have such sights to show you."

Clive Barker's three Books of Blood volumes (with the horribly garish Halloween mask-like covers) were the first things I bought with my employee discount after I started my first job at K-Mart, and I became an instant fan. When I read there was going to be a sneak preview of a horror film written and directed by Clive, I jumped at the chance to see it. And Hellraiser proved to be a breath of fresh air at a time when it seemed like all horror fans were being served up with any regularity was the latest installment of a slasher franchise, none of which did anything for me. This subversive film, however, blew me away. I couldn't wait to drag all of my friends out to see it when it opened, which at that point was still several months away.

I fell in love with Clive's bizarrely-designed Cenobites, the haunting Christopher Young score, and the lovely Ashley Laurence. Barker delivered something truly unique that built on his reputation as the future of horror. It's funny to think that the film went on to become a franchise of its own; unfortunately, none of which lived up to the promise of the original.—John

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: Hated this the first time I saw it together with the House Carfax crew at (I think) a sneak preview and never wasted my time re-watching. I loved Clive's Books of Blood so I was game but I was soooo disappointed. Sign me up for Rawhead Rex though.

Jack: It will surprise no one to read that I have never seen this.

Journey Into Strange Tales Issue 195: Atlas/Marvel Science Fiction & Fantasy Comics!

 

The Marvel/Atlas 
Horror Comics

Part 180

April 1961

by Peter Enfantino

and Jack Seabrook

Journey Into Mystery #67

Cover by Steve Ditko

"Gruto! The Creature from Nowhere!" (a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers) ★★

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #11)

"The Black Clock!" (a: Don Heck) ★1/2

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #12)

"The Last Voyage of Captain Kragg" (a: Steve Ditko) ★★

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #12)

Newspaper reporter Dan Mitchell has been told by his editor that his features (his articles not his face) lately stink and Dan needs a new angle or he's history at The Daily Bugle. Later that afternoon, he and his girlfriend Laura are out driving through the country when a UFO crashes right before their eyes!

Out of the ship comes "Gruto! The Creature from Nowhere!," but the huge, hulking behemoth seems a bit out of sorts. He tells Dan and Laura that he remembers nothing but his name. Thinking fast, Dan escorts Gruto to a hiding place, snaps his picture, and speeds back to his editor to inform him that a dangerous creature has just arrived on Earth, a monster that claims an invasion from the stars is eminent. The editor slaps the story on page one and Dan becomes a celebrity overnight.

The police head to where Dan has stashed Gruto to destroy the invader but the creature pleads its case and, miraculously, the authorities believe it. All the while, Laura tells Dan he should be ashamed of himself, but the reporter is dazzled by the limelight and will not listen. Laura tells Gruto that Dan will not stop until he is king of the world and even now he is trying to convince the government that the innocent giant is the apocalypse.

Heeding Laura's pleas, Gruto fires up his ship (using the handy dematerializer button to make it invisible) and heads off to space but, before he can clear the airspace, he is attacked by fighter jets. Gruto lands his vehicle and announces that the barrage of missiles has cleared his foggy brain and he can now remember his mission here on Earth. He was sent by his fellow Grutos to teach earthlings how to live forever, make peace with their neighbors, and possibly lay the groundwork for a baseball game that lasts less than four hours. Obviously, Earth is not ready for those secrets, so Gruto blasts off, never to be seen again. Dan is left pondering if Page 17 fashion is the place to be after Laura tells him to grab a hunk of highway.

While the execution and beats are all the same, a couple aspects of "Gruto!" are interesting; the monster is innocent and man is the villain and Dan gets dumped at the climax by a disgusted girlfriend. Stan's titles are getting wilder... "The Creature from Nowhere!" Soon we'll get "Squiddo, the Monster that was a Creature!" and the groundbreaking "I Was Me!" I love how Gruto can't remember anything but his name but can figure out the complicated controls in his ship. "Ah yes, the dematerializer! My greatest weapon!"

"The Black Clock!" is a dismissible fantasy about an ex-con who steals the titular antique and discovers he is quickly aging. There's no sense to this one so I won't try to make any of it. And yet... once again, Don Heck proves to be a much better penciler than Mr. Ellison gave him credit for. Space pilot Captain Kragg is a stinkin' yellow-bellied coward and, in the midst of a terrible space battle, he turns tail and deserts his men. He crash lands on a planet that resembles Earth in the 15th century and overhears a conversation concerning a man named Kumbus, who intends to sail the world to prove it isn't flat. Smelling a situation he can use to make himself a richer man, Kragg busts Kumbos upside the head and takes his place on board the ship. Problem is, this world is flat! You can tell that twist is on the horizon but it's still a fun read and Ditko does what he can with a bunch of talking heads.-Peter

Strange Tales #83

Cover by Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers

"From Out of the Black Pit Came... Grogg!" (a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers) ★★1/2

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #27)

"Masquerade Party" (a: Steve Ditko) ★1/2

(r: Chamber of Chills #16)

"The Menace of Shandu!" (a: Don Heck) ★

(r: Crypt of Shadows #17)

Just before he is executed as a freedom fighter by a firing squad of stinkin' red commies, Miklos Kozlov is given a reprieve. But what happens afterwards makes Kozlov wish a bullet had ended his misery! The Russian government wants Kozlov to oversee a series of underground nuclear tests, bombs that will soon be dropped on the filthy swine of America! Kozlov agrees... what choice does he have?

Once the Russkies get to the "remote Asian province" where the bombs will be tested, they are warned by the locals that a giant monster lives under the ice, a fire-breathing dragon known as... Grogg!!! The Russians ask Kozlov what he makes of the natives' warnings and he tells them the locals are all fools. "Let's see some mushroom clouds!" Sure enough, minutes after the first bomb goes off, a gigantic serpentine head raises itself from the melting ice. Grogg exists!

The monster goes on a rampage until one of the local tribal chiefs has a mano-a-mano with the beast, telling him they are a peaceful people and that the Russkies want only death and destruction. They should be destroyed! Grogg chases all the commies into a nearby cave while Kozlov hoofs it back to civilization (thanks to a handy smoke bomb he'd been carrying). In the long-ish climactic exposition, we learn that Kozlov knew that a race of dragons lived below the ice and he was banking on the creatures taking umbrage to the warmongering Russkies. Kozlov sighs and thanks Grogg for heading behind the iron curtain to put an end to tyranny.

A heck of a lot of fun, "Then Came... Grogzilla!" sets up a cool mythology and paves the way for Fin Fang Foom, king of all Marvel/Atlas dragons (coming in Strange Tales #89). After Grogg is gassed, the narrative turns toward Kozlov and his revelation, a twist I applaud. The Kirby/Ayers work is solid, especially the "flashback" scenes of multiple dragons attacking the Great Wall. Why in the world did we never get a savvy writer like Kurt Busiek (who has to be my favorite comics writer of the 1990s) or Peter David to pen a saga about why all these monsters are clad in swimming trunks despite the fact that they've been buried underneath the earth (or ice) for hundreds of years?

Heartless and filthy rich, Cara Frost (get it?-cold heart=frost!) seeks to destroy anyone who ever had a negative thing to say about her and that includes Alice Dodd, who just married Rex Bond, a guy that Cara never really cared much about, but that's not the point, is it? It's like they never asked her permission before wedding. Well, Cara will show the Bonds a thing or two; she crashes their "Masquerade Party" but on her way to disruption she falls in love with a man dressed in a devil's costume. Too late, she discovers it's not a costume! But don't worry, all you Wertham apologists, a last panel reveal shows that the devil was actually a disguised Rex Bond! Groan.

Teenager Tommy Jones walks into a bookshop looking for a good read and finds an old book of magic spells. What the heck, thinks the moppet, and after buying the book he heads to a quiet part of the forest and tries out a spell to conjure up a genie. Sure enough, Tommy soon faces "The Menace of Shandu!" The giant genie gives Tommy one wish but adds the proviso that, once the wish has been granted, the kid must die. How does Tommy get out of this one? Very easily.-Peter

Tales of Suspense #16

Cover by Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers

"The Thing Called Metallo!" (a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers) ★★★

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #26)

"Nightmare!" (a: Don Heck) ★ 1/2

"The Hands of Hogarr!" (a: Paul Reinman) ★

After escaping from prison, Mike Fallon sees a notice in the paper that inventors are looking for someone to volunteer to test a new metal suit that can withstand radiation from a nuclear explosion. Mike volunteers under a fake name and climbs into the large, metal suit of armor; he quickly learns to use the controls to make it walk.

After a week of practice, Mike is taken to a small atoll in the South Pacific, where he is left alone. An atomic bomb is set off, but the scientists miscalculated its strength and the entire island sinks! Mike finds himself underwater and discovers that the suit is not only radiation proof, it is also water tight. He survives an attack by an octopus, which he kills with a blow from his metallic hand before he is rescued.

The next test involves Mike putting on the suit and being suspended by chains from a helicopter as another atomic bomb is detonated in midair! Once again coming through with flying colors, Mike decides that he will use the powerful suit to continue his life of crime. He refuses to come out and makes his way to San Francisco, where he robs a bank and christens himself with a fearsome new name--he is now "The Thing Called Metallo!" He moves on to Alcatraz, where he announces a plan to free the prisoners and create an army of convicts.

Suddenly, Mike begins to feel sick. He visits the infirmary and is told that he suffers from a disease that can only be cured by radiation therapy! Now Mike has a choice: take off the suit and return to being a nobody or keep the suit on and maintain his power. What will he choose?

This story brings up several interesting points. First, I noticed that Atlas authors are no longer using the pronoun "I" to title all of their stories--"I Was the This, That or the Other." It was especially noticeable this time because all of the captions feature narration in the second person: "You this and you that." Second, the scientists have enormous resources and power but are really stupid. Why would they not do even the least bit of a background check on the volunteer to try out their suit? The costs must be enormous, not to mention getting permission to blow up A-bombs willy nilly. 

Third, the art by Kirby and Ayers is as good as anything we'll see them draw in the Marvel super-hero comics in the next several years. Finally, the writers have come up with just about all they need to launch the Marvel line--big villains, radiation, etc. All that's missing are heroes changed by radiation who are willing to battle the villains.

John Larson tells his rich friend, Dunstan Kromm, about recurring nightmares. Kromm scoffs and Larson leaves in a huff, driving too fast and suffering a fatal car crash. Dunstan is consumed with guilt and collapses, only to wake up and find that John has just arrived at his house. Soon enough, the visitor once again begins to recite his "Nightmare!"

Slick artwork by Don Heck doesn't disguise the fact that this circular tale has been told too many times to remain surprising or even interesting.

After robbing and killing a diamond merchant in a large European city, Carl Gruko visits an old gypsy man named Hogarr, who is said to have the power to change a person's face with his hands. "The Hands of Hogarr!" do their work and Carl gets a new face, but when he returns to the village he is immediately accosted by an Interpol agent. Running away, Carl is fatally trampled by a horse, not realizing that he is now a double for the agent, who saw the resemblance and was intrigued.

What a stinker! The Paul Reinman stories tend to be the weakest and they're relegated to the back of the book. Too bad they weren't discarded entirely.-Jack

Tales to Astonish #18

Cover by Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers

"Gorgilla Strikes Again!" (a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers)

(r: Where Creatures Roam #5) ★ 1/2

"Monsteroso!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★ 1/2

"Robot on the Rampage!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★ 1/2

(r: Marvel Super-Heroes #31)

Once Gorgilla recovers from his fight with the T-Rex (Tales to Astonish #12), the big furry guy decides that he likes human companionship, so he sneaks aboard a cargo ship and hides in its hold until it reaches New York harbor. When it emerges, the sailors freak out, so Gorgilla dives overboard and swims into the sewers beneath the city to ponder how he can make his good intentions known. Only Scotty, the scientist who first discovered him, realizes that Gorgilla is actually a teddy bear, but no one is ready to listen.

Meanwhile a trio of stinkin' commies decide that this is a great moment to strike a blow against capitalistic imperialism. Gorgilla emerges in the middle of the field at Yankee Stadium (back when the team was actually good) and evades capture before wisely returning to his underground safe space. The commies are nearby, waiting to blow up a subway tunnel at the moment an African dignitary passes by above. Gorgilla senses that the commies are up to no good and foils their plot! He chases one of the bad guys to the statute of liberty and climbs to the top, where he is blasted off the side by a bazooka wielded by the NYPD. Gorgilla falls to his death, clutching the commie spy in one paw. This proves that the big ape had good intentions, and everyone realizes that Scotty was right all along.

On the splash page of "Gorgilla Strikes Again!" the author writes, "In the October issue of Tales to Astonish, we gave you the story of Gorgilla! Since then, you've asked for--begged for--demanded further adventures of the amazing creature!" I think this may be stretching the point ever so slightly. In reality, I suspect the mailroom at Atlas received one letter in crayon that said something like, "Hey! I like King Kong too! How about finishing the story?" So they did. Like Kong, Gorgilla sails to NYC and meets his fate after climbing a tall structure. This is one of the worst stories I've read in an Atlas comic in some time, and it doesn't help that Kirby's giant ape doesn't look very apelike.

A big, furry creature called "Monsteroso!" hatches from an egg and rapidly grows to enormous proportions, thinking himself master of all things. He stomps around, feeling very proud of himself, until it begins to rain and he realizes he'll drown in a flood. But wait! He's really a tiny speck in a Petri dish being rinsed off by a scientist.

How many times will we have to suffer this same twist ending! Something that seems really big is actually really small. At least Ditko can draw a big, furry monster. God forbid this story had been assigned to Don Heck!

In the near future, at a lonely lighthouse, there's a "Robot on the Rampage!" To strike the first blow in a robot rebellion against humans, this bucket of bolts wants to shut off the light at the top of the lighthouse to make ships crash. The old lighthouse keeper manages to shove the robot outside and lock the door, but soon both keeper and robot realize that the old man can't stay inside indefinitely without food or water. Eventually, the man comes out, just as the robot rusts solid from the damp, salty air.

Two Ditko stories in one issue would be a cause for celebration if the stories were any good. Sadly, they're not.-Jack

This Thursday...
Walk This Way!

And Next Monday...
Get Ready for
the First Magneto!!!

The 100 Chapter 12: 76 & 75

 

Who doesn't love a list?

I devour the BFI Best Films of All Time list whenever they deem it necessary to revise and (invariably) disagree with most of the findings, but I still get a kick out of browsing. Same with Rolling Stone's inane Best 100 Albums (how does Sgt. Pepper drop from #1 to #24 in the latest incarnation?); the anger I feel subsides when I see they've put a couple of Aerosmith albums on the list! We all disagree with that number one but we keep right on scrolling through each choice.

This project, which has been percolating for quite a while, originated from the constant back and forth "good-natured bickering" between John Scoleri and myself. John invariably loves everything and I hate it all (for more of the discourse, I advise one and all to pick up a copy of bare•bones print magazine and read our debates about streaming and movie theaters to get a taste). I began to think it would be fun to compose a Favorite (as opposed to Best) 100 and compare our selections. Making it even more tantalizing, I managed to talk the third head of Ghidorah, Jack Seabrook, into participating. This could be interesting, since John's never seen a movie the two Georges (Romero and Lucas) didn't have a hand in, and Jack usually favors the flicks that have words at the bottom of the screen (dis-moi que j'ai tort, Jack!). I, on the other hand, can't wait to educate these two gentlemen as to what constitutes good cinema.

Every Thursday, we'll count down our picks two at a time. We're hoping this will generate discourse outside of our trio. Let us know just how crazy we are. This is going to be fun!—Peter

Planet of the Apes (1968) 

Starring: Charlton Heston, Maurice Evans, Roddy McDowell

Directed by Franklin J. Schaffner

"Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!"

As I mentioned in my comments about 2001, I saw Planet of the Apes for the first time in 1968 at the Tropicana Drive-In; not the ideal setting for a gorgeously shot science fiction flick, but I was six years old and not yet the cinephile I am now. I don't remember it making much of an impact on me; that would come with repeat viewings and, of course, through the sequels. It's an amazingly complex yet simple flick with an insanely good script by Rod Serling. I would say it was Escape from the Planet of the Apes that reeled me in (I had not seen Beneath at the theater) and made me the Apes-nut I became. I had the puzzles, the lunch box, the Marvel comics; I had it all.

There are just so many classic moments and bits of quotable dialogue in POTA and, arguably, the most iconic "reveal" in cinema history. Call it crude, but the makeup is still effective, allowing the actors to emote despite being covered in layers of greasepaint and horsehair (take a bow, Mr. Chambers). Conservatively, I saw this (and the four sequels) a dozen times at the Almaden Twin when Fox re-released all five for the "Go Ape" marathons. It never gets old.—Peter

Remarks from the Gallery:

Jack: Can't argue with this one! It didn't make my list but it's a fun movie. I'm right there with you on the makeup—I love it!

John: Good pick, but it's not quite time for me to Go Ape.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)

Starring: Vincent Price, Joseph Cotten

Directed by Robert Fuest

"Nine killed her, nine shall die!"

A series of strange murders of doctors in London in 1925 leads police to suspect Dr. Anton Phibes, a famous concert organist who was thought to have died in a car crash several years before. It turns out Phibes is alive but horribly scarred and he's killing off all of the doctors whom he blames for his wife's death on the operating table. He's using the biblical plagues of the pharaohs as his model for the murders. Can the police find Phibes and stop him before he carries out his plan?

Boy, does Dr. Phibes hold up to this day! The movie is campy fun from start to finish and Vincent Price is wonderful in the title role. The murders are surprisingly not gory, leaving most of the nasty bits to the viewer's imagination, though the scene where rats attack the pilot of a biplane is pretty nasty and the shot of the nurse's skull after it's been picked clean by locusts is a highlight. Everyone in the movie is clearly having a ball and even Joseph Cotten manages to show some life. When Phibes finally removes his mask to reveal his grinning skull, the makeup is unforgettable. Even Caroline Munro joins in the fun and I was suddenly struck, when I saw Phibes's telephone with her face in the center of the dial, that this is just what we need for the bare•bones office! —Jack

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: A fabulous pick, Jack! This one came right at the beginning, for me, of American-International's dominance at the San Jose theaters. Phibes, Yorga, Frogs, Blacula, all fun times. Anything with Vincent Price was a guaranteed ticket sale for me. 

John: This one is great fun, as is the sequel (though not nearly as much fun as the original). And Caroline Munro deserves recognition for playing the best looking dead woman in horror film history! This one (and Blacula) are not far off my list but unfortunately fell outside the top 100. (And we'll be sure to get you one of the Munro-branded bare•bones phones, Jack, with apologies for the oversight!)

Near Dark (1987) 

Starring: Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton, Adrian Pasdar

Directed by Kathryn Bigelow

"Finger lickin' good!"

1987 was a good year for vampires on film, including Joel Schumacher's The Lost Boys (shot in our back yard at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk) and Kathryn Bigelow's nomadic vampire classic, Near Dark. While the former is fun, it leans more into humor to offset the horror, whereas the latter offers a darkly humorous, more interesting, and original take on vampires. 

The nomadic vampire clan is brilliantly cast, led by Henriksen and Jeanette Goldstein, who were coming off of James Cameron's Aliens, along with Joshua Miller, Jenny Wright, and, in arguably his finest role, Bill Paxton. Pasdar plays the reluctant vampire victim of Wright, whom he falls for despite her predilection for drinking blood. It's easy to root for him to turn his back on his father and sister and take off with the nomadic crew he begins to bond with. The bar scene, set to John Parr's "Naughty Naughty," is a classic, and gives Paxton a real opportunity to shine. The film also has a cool Tangerine Dream score.—John

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: I didn't like Near Dark but I didn't hate it like I hated Lost Boys. Both were products of the 1980s "let's reinvent the wheel" generation, for the most part pretentious and poser. "Let's make a vampire flick and never use the word 'vampire.' Critics will love us." There are very few horror flicks from that era I could stomach watching again. Too much fake mood, neon lights, and worst of all, that drum synth soundtrack. If Enya and The Thompson Twins had procreated...

Jack: My knowledge of horror films after the early '80s is minimal, so I never saw this and don't have an opinion.

The Verdict (1982) 

Starring: Paul Newman, Jack Warden, James Mason

Directed by Sidney Lumet

"That that poor girl put her trust into the--into the hands of two men who took her life. She's in a coma. Her life is gone. She has no home, no family. She's tied to a machine. She has no friends. And the people who should care for her; her doctors--and you and me; have been bought off to look the other way. We've been paid to look the other way. I came here to take your money. I brought snapshots to show you so I could get your money. I can't do it; I can't take it. 'Cause if I take the money I'm lost. I'll just be a--rich ambulance chaser. I can't do it. I can't take it."

In 1987, the Academy finally handed Paul Newman his long deserved Best Actor Oscar for The Color of Money, but make no bones about it, he really won for The Verdict. In particular, for that riveting "closing statement" scene, but Newman is enthralling in every frame he occupies. His Frank Galvin, a screwup of monumental proportions, sees his new client, a comatose young woman, as his redemption. After all his years of ambulance chasing, he intends to do the right thing. But no one else sees it that way. 

This is a deep, dark flick and though the jury finds (SPOILERS!) in Deborah Ann Kaye's favor, there is no happy ending. Deborah Ann ain't going to spend any of that dough. Newman's not on his own here; he's got a strong supporting cast. Jack Warden, coming off a string of comedies, is Frank's right hand man, his fix-it guy, his conscience. Why Mickey would stick with the legal profession's equivalent of the Titanic for so long is one of life's great mysteries. Charlotte Rampling is the mystery girl, a stunning beauty Frank meets in a bar and immediately falls for, who has a whopper of a secret she's hiding. And then there's James Mason as Galvin's courtroom nemesis (the "prince of fucking darkness" as Mickey calls him), who goes toe to toe with Newman for charisma and acting chops and darn near wins the prize.—Peter

Remarks from the Gallery:

Jack: I forgot about this one! It's a great movie. It has extra resonance for me due to the career I've found myself in for the last 35+ years. Hint: I'm one of the bad guys.

John: I'm aware of this one, but I haven't seen it since it was on broadcast TV or on VHS, so I have very little memory of it. I'll have to keep an eye out for it and imagine your spoiler won't completely ruin the experience. 

La Dolce Vita (1960) 

Starring: Marcello Mastroianni

Directed by Federico Fellini

Paparazzo: What do you think you like most in life?
Sylvia: I like lots of things. But there are three things I like most. Love, love and love.

Fifteen years after the end of WWII, Rome is booming. Marcello, a journalist, makes his way through the new and old neighborhoods, meeting celebrities, bored rich folk, and many, many photographers, all of whom are anxious to capture the latest events. But when tragedy strikes, how will people deal with it and how will Marcello respond?

I love Fellini and have probably seen all (or nearly all) of his films, some more than once. La Dolce Vita marks a turning point in his career, the moment when he left behind the neo-realism of his earlier classics like La Strada and I Vitelloni and forged a new path into a mix of magical realism, social commentary, and ironic observation. The black and white cinematography is gorgeous and Anita Ekberg, who splashes around in the Trevi Fountain in the film's most famous scene, is hard to forget. But the star is Marcello Mastroianni, whom I could watch in just about anything. The portrait of people is unforgiving but there is a ray of hope at the end, though Marcello seems cut off from it.—Jack

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: Yet another of those obscure foreign flicks that I have yet to get to (hey, I did see The 400 Blows and Jules and Jim lately so give me a little credit while shaking your head) and probably never will. 

John: This is another on my list of have it but haven't watched it yet.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) 

Starring: Marilyn Burns, Gunnar Hansen, Jim Siedow

Directed by Tobe Hooper

"That's the last goddamn hitchhiker I ever pick up."

I recall hearing wild stories about The Texas Chain Saw Massacre for years before I had a chance to finally rent the film on VHS. Descriptions of how it was the goriest film ever made... how it showed a woman sawed in half with a chainsaw... and on and on. So you can imagine my surprise when I finally saw it. Was it lessened by the absence of those things? Absolutely not. It was wonderfully unsettling. 

From the opening narration by a very recognizable John Larroquette, to the strange score and creepy sound of camera flashes highlighting recognizable bits of disinterred corpses, the tone is set right out of the gate. The set decoration also deserves recognition, particularly in the farmhouse (which contains what I've come to refer to as "bones and feathers and stuff").

We follow an interesting mix of teenagers, some far more likable than others (!), who dwindle as we're slowly introduced to the bizarre members that make up the family they've unfortunately stumbled across. Each character is unique and fascinating—despite what the unfamiliar might think, it's not just about Leatherface, who became the face of the franchise. I think Ed Neal's hitchhiker, Jim Siedow's cook, and even John Dugan's Grandpa, are actually far more interesting and developed characters (which is not to say Gunnar Hansen doesn't do a great job embodying the childlike, skin-masked brother).

I wrestled with the question of whether this film or its first sequel would be the one to make my top 100, I ultimately decided that the original held the top spot. That said, I do recommend Hooper's follow-up, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2, which doesn't make any effort to replicate the look or feel of the original. It spins off into bizarre directions of its own and has a very '80s sensibility.—John

 

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: Though it doesn't make my list, this is one of the scariest flicks I've ever seen. My first encounter with it was in 1974 (I would have been twelve). While my mom and her best friend watched (something) on one screen at the Capital drive-in, my buddy and I went to the swings in the center of the complex and watched Chainsaw with no sound on another screen. Doesn't really need sound, does it? Fast forward about seven years when Chainsaw was rereleased and I caught it at the Pruneyard. When Leatherface opens a door and clubs Kirk with a hammer and Kirk goes down with a sickening thud, a guy in front of us stood up, shouted "Fuck!!!" and left, never to return. 

Jack: I recall "enjoying" this when I saw it a time or two back in the day, but I haven't watched it in 40+ years and can't see any reason to change that. I'm surprised it wasn't higher on your list!

Journey Into Strange Tales Issue 194: Atlas/Marvel Science Fiction & Fantasy Comics!

 

The Marvel/Atlas 
Horror Comics

Part 179

March 1961

by Peter Enfantino

and Jack Seabrook

Journey Into Mystery #66

Cover by Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers

"The Return of the Hulk!" (a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers) ★1/2

(r: Monsters on the Prowl #14)

"The Black Ray" (a: Paul Reinman) ★

(r: Fear #6)

"The Thing Behind the Wall!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★

(r: Fear #7)

As we saw at the conclusion of the pulse-pounding monster saga, "Yaddayaddayadda Living Hulk!," the Hulk had been shot into space in a satellite, cursed to live out his days in a soup can. But, oh sweet irony, a simple asteroid bumps into the capsule and sends it hurtling back to Earth. Before you can say, "Holy sequel!," the small town of Pineville witnesses "The Return of the Hulk!"

Using his evil hypno-beam powers, the Hulk puts every soul in town into a deep hypnotic trance and then forces the villagers to build a giant star-reflector, all the better to hypnotize the rest of the planet and rule a race of zombies. Luckily, our hero from the previous adventure has been keeping tabs on the giant furry critter and notices that the satellite has not revolved around the sun in three days. He starts looking for clues...

When the news hits that Pineville has erected a fence of barbed wire around its city limits to keep the world out, the amateur scientist knows something's up and heads to the affected area, where he spies the Hulk bathing in the rays of his star-reflector. Using his quick wits and a pocket mirror, our hero quashes the plans of the behemoth and reflects the monster's hypnotic powers back at him. As the Hulk dwindles into nothingness, the triumphant scientist realizes he can tell no one what has transpired here today. Not even us!

Low-budget sequel with nary an original panel to be found among its thirteen pages. I really have no idea what was going on in that mirror-laden climax. It seems like pretty poor planning on the scientist's part to pop the Hulk into a capsule and then leave it to revolve around the sun that close to Earth. Something was bound to happen. 

In the hilarious "The Black Ray!," evil genius scientist Hiram Dudd is sentenced to twenty years in prison for "crimes against society" but finds a silver lining once he gets to the big cage. His warden, the stupidest man on the planet, thinks it's a good idea to let Professor Hiram (the one who's been sentenced for "crimes against society") tinker around in the "prison lab" (why would a prison have a lab?). Bad idea. Dudd whips up a time machine and disappears into the past. Of course, since he's a bad guy, he gets his just desserts. Comic book gold arrives in the form of a few panels where the guards question whether it was prudent to arm a criminal with dangerous machinery. Live and learn, I always say. A few panels (see below) have a very Carmine Infantino-esque sheen to them. Otherwise, this one is a complete Dudd.

A miserable issue of Journey Into Mystery comes to a close with "The Thing Behind the Wall!" Emil Fitch owes six hundred bucks in gambling debts and decides he really must steal the dough from his workplace, the local bank. He hides one night at closing and slips into the vault just before it's sealed but then discovers, to his horror, that the vault doesn't open from the inside! Luckily for him, Morak, a monster from the "dark dimension," promises to save him if Emil will accompany it back to his place for some experiments. Emil refuses and is arrested by the cops when the vault is opened. Morak appears to Emil in his cell and explains that all he has to do is walk through the bars and into the dark dimension and freedom will be his. What should he do? I know what I'm going to do.-Peter

Strange Tales #82

Cover by Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers

"The Thing Called... It!" (a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers) ★★1/2

(r: Monsters on the Prowl #15)

"The World Beyond" (a: Steve Ditko) ★1/2

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #17 & #37)

"Fangs of the Monster" (a: Don Heck) ★★

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #37)

Brilliant but troubled European scientist Heinrich Munch believes the scientific community ignores his obvious brilliance and continually strokes the ego if his hated rival, Fedor Slovkov. If Emil is to be catapulted to the top of the Brilliance Chart, then Fedor Slovkov must die!

Slovkov decides the best way to eliminate his competition is to create a plastic giant that he can control; his first order will be to kill Fedor Slovkov! Professor Munch assembles all the right ingredients, pops them in the microwave, and lets the mixture settle. A massive creature arises from the slab, fully dressed in a nice three-piece suit (but missing his hat and tie, unfortunately). But Heinrich Munch has missed out on some important ingredient since, once the monster awakens, it wobbles a bit and falls lifeless to the floor! Frustrated, the mad scientist tosses the huge (extremely heavy) behemoth out the dining room window and into the swamp far below. Damn that Fedor Slovkov and his good luck!

Unbeknownst to our mad genius, the plastic man in the swamp stirs and rises, returning to the castle of morose Heinrich Munch. The startled egghead throws his finger in the air and screams, "Of course, the one missing ingredient to make the perfect killing machine is raw human waste! How foolish of me! Now Fedor Slovkov must die!" Alas, "The Thing Called... It!" doesn't see it that way. This creature wants peace among men, love is all you need, all that nonsense. The very sentiments that drive Fedor Slovkov to wake each day and invent an erasable chalkboard or automobile air conditioning. Heinrich Munch quickly realizes that this Thing Called... It! could be a detriment to his plans; loose lips sink ships and all that rot. So he heads down to the local town and stirs up the villagers, inciting them with a speech about baby-killing swamp monsters. In no time, the townsfolk grab their rifles and head up the hill to destroy the Thing Called... It!

But Heinrich Munch's plans go awry and he takes a header into the swamp. The Thing Called... It! delivers a stirring monologue to the torch-carrying mob about man delving into matters not of his making or something like that and then looks to the sky and wishes he had a human body. A bolt of lightning strikes it and the Thing Called... It! is transformed into Heinrich Munch. Munch-Thing swears to God that he'll live a decent, honorable life and heads to the local bakery to send a congratulations cake to Fedor Slovkov.

A gleefully satisfying 13 pages of idiocy. Stan and Jack (that is, if Stan actually did anything but cash a check on this one) have to be winking at each other and admitting that 90% of the work they're committing to paper is rubbish, so why not have a good time? A great changeup in that an evil scientist purposely sets out to create an evil monster to do his bidding rather than the typical "professor wants to decrease harvesting time so he mutates spiders into wasps" nonsense we usually get. Here's a "thing" that only wants to pick daisies and fly kites. I love that Heinrich Munch concludes most of his sentences with the words "Fedor Slovkov" to remind us how obsessed he is. And mention must be made of how the initial Easy Bake Oven version of the Thing sure looks like the early version of Ben Grimm. That Jack Kirby never forgot a "thing." Thanks to the tongue planted firmly in cheek, this strip is the most fun I've had in months. 

"The World Beyond" is Stan's latest "homage" to The Incredible Shrinking Man. A brilliant but terribly dressed scientist is shunned by his colleagues when he invents a pill that can shrink anything to the size of the atom. But how far does the subject shrink and where does he go? As the final panels explain, right to a cliche. 

Last up is the decent "Fangs of the Monster." Millionaire Darius Storme's pastime is to hunt down and kill the ugliest creatures known to man. When he gets wind of a butt-ugly sea monster just off the coast of Ecuador, he hires a ship to chase and kill the creature. But the joke's on Storme when the thing abducts him and has a little man-to-thing conversation with the sadistic adventurer and then lets him go, vowing that Storme will spend the rest of his days in a very private hell. Since no one but Storme saw the monster, he's ridiculed and shunned as a lunatic and spends the rest of his days traveling from port to port, trying to convince someone, somewhere that the beast really exists. Not a bad little cautionary tale, very reminiscent of the time I saw Steven Tyler at an airport and no one would believe me. Storme's driving passion to "see those brainless creatures writhing" is a bit far-fetched but I can obviously excuse quite a bit while reading these funny books.-Peter

Tales of Suspense #15

Cover by Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers

"Goom! The Thing from Planet X!" (a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers) ★★

(r: Giant-Size Man-Thing #1)

"I Am the Living Ghost!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★1/2

(r: Giant-Size Dracula #4)

"Moomboo!" (a: Don Heck) ★

An Astronomer named Mark ignores the ridicule of his colleagues and spends his summer vacation with his wife, Helen, at an observatory, where he sends radio waves into outer space in an attempt to prove the existence of unknown planets. He discovers a gigantic planet but is not expecting "Goom! The Thing from Planet X!" to use the radio waves to travel to Earth. Goom lands near the observatory and reveals himself to be a big, bad monster who plans to conquer our world.

Forcing Mark to travel to the city to present a false message of peace on Goom's behalf, the monster gleefully welcomes scientists and statesmen from all nations. He demonstrates his awesome powers until Mark has the bright idea to contact the gigantic planet by means of more radio waves. Voila! More spaceships arrive and Goom's fellow citizens announce that they are a peaceful race and Goom is a sick renegade. The aliens grab Goom and zip home, allowing Mark to end with a speech about how man will one day visit the stars.

By this point, these stories are pretty formulaic. A giant monster arrives and threatens everyone before some simple trick is used to defeat it. About the only thing worth noting is the variety of monsters Kirby and Ayers come up with. Goom is a big orange guy with two tusks that stick up from his lower jaw. Goom's method of displaying his power is silly--first, he takes a man and puts him in a glass box and reverses time so he becomes a baby. Then he causes a city to levitate into space. These are just excuses to give Kirby something visually interesting to draw.

An intruder arrives at Blackhorn Castle intending to prove that the building is not haunted. To his surprise, ghostly events convince the man otherwise and he runs out the door. Little does he know that the creature that seemed to proclaim, "I Am the Living Ghost!" is not a ghost at all, but rather one of several living objects made of metal or stone, such as a walking suit of armor.

Ditko draws some cool panels but the story is a letdown. The castle is haunted, just not by a ghost.

A witch doctor keeps a primitive tribe in line by encouraging its belief in a worthless carving called "Moomboo!" When a much larger idol appears, the witch doctor tries to show that it has no power, but instead it passes each test he comes up with and the people begin to worship it instead. The witch doctor tries to destroy the new idol and it disappears, which causes the tribesmen to drive the witch doctor into exile. Little do any of them know that the big, new idol was really an alien from another dimension. It tried to contact the people of Earth but gave up, since we're savages.

The first two stories were bad, but this one is even worse. I had to read it a couple of times to make heads or tails of it. Yet another visitor from an advanced planet leaves Earth disappointed. I know how he feels. This issue makes me want to return to my home planet for a few millennia.-Jack

Tales to Astonish #17

Cover by Jack Kirby, Steve Ditko & Dick Ayers

"Vandoom, the Man Who Made a Creature!" (a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers) ★★★

(r: Where Creatures Roam #4)

"Beware! Of the Ghastly Glass!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★1/2

(r: Where Creatures Roam #4)

"I Dared to Enter the Haunted Room!" (a: Don Heck) ★1/2

(r: Tower of Shadows #9)

At a wax museum in Transylvania, the old standby monsters don't excite the public anymore, so the owner decides to create a new monster that will revive ticket sales. "Vandoom, the Man Who Made a Creature!" gets busy with his wax and fur and creates a huge figure that scares the heck out of the villagers. The night he completes the thing, it is struck by lightning and comes to life! The creature bursts out of the museum and heads for the countryside.

The villagers blame Vandoom and chase the monster. Suddenly, a spaceship lands and Martians emerge, announcing in their thoughts that they plan to take over Earth! Vandoom theorizes that his giant monster can stop the Martians and, when their gamma gun has no effect on it, they hightail it back to Mars. Despite the positive result of the Martians feeling "The Mark of Vandoom," or at least his living wax figure, the poor creature keels over from exhaustion. The villagers laud the sculptor, who happily builds a replacement.

I gave a rare three-star rating to this story for a few reasons. First, it features drawings of Frankenstein's monster, Dracula, the Wolf Man, and the Mummy on page two, even though they're just wax figures in Vandoom's museum. Second, the giant creature barely does any harm at all and is not a visitor from another planet. Finally, the climax finds the poor thing seeming like King Kong in that he never meant any harm and collapses. It all worked for me, in spite of Kirby's penchant for drawing men wearing various hats to differentiate them from each other and the obligatory panel showing the Earth from outer space near the end.

A greedy old man travels from antique shop to curio shop around the world, looking for a rare piece of crystal that resembles a drawing he shows to each shopkeeper. He finally finds the wishing glass at a shop in the Orient and ignores the shopkeeper's warning to "Beware! Of the Ghastly Glass!" The old man makes four wishes: to be twenty years old, to live a long and healthy life, to be free from arrest, and to be the richest man in the world. In the blink of an eye, all his wishes are granted, but he finds himself on another planet because he failed to specify which world!

The Ditko five-pagers in the back of these comics are getting less and less interesting from a story standpoint while the art continues to dazzle. Part of the problem is the need for a full-page splash, which means only four pages remain to tell the tale.

Smith builds an atomic bomb and plans to threaten to blow up the whole world unless he's made ruler. He visits a small town and rents a house, unconcerned by the real estate agent's warning of a haunted room that he must never enter. Smith decides that the room is the perfect place to hide his bomb and can say that "I Dared to Enter the Haunted Room!" There's just one problem: entering the room makes him a ghost and now no one can see or hear his plan to take over the world.

This story is a shade better than the one before it. Heck is best when he's not drawing monsters or aliens, so the depictions of Smith are right up his alley. The denouement is silly.-Jack

On Thursday...
An Old Favorite
Carves Up the 100

And Next Week...
The Coming of...
Monsteroso!