The 100 Chapter 20: 62 & 61

 

Who doesn't love a list?

I devour the BFI Best Films of All Time list whenever they deem it necessary to revise and (invariably) disagree with most of the findings, but I still get a kick out of browsing. Same with Rolling Stone's inane Best 100 Albums (how does Sgt. Pepper drop from #1 to #24 in the latest incarnation?); the anger I feel subsides when I see they've put a couple of Aerosmith albums on the list! We all disagree with that number one but we keep right on scrolling through each choice.

This project, which has been percolating for quite a while, originated from the constant back and forth "good natured bickering" between John Scoleri and myself. John invariably loves everything and I hate it all (for more of the discourse, I advise one and all to pick up a copy of bare•bones print magazine and read our debates about streaming and movie theaters to get a taste). I began to think it would be fun to compose a Favorite (as opposed to Best) 100 and compare our selections. Making it even more tantalizing, I managed to talk the third head of Ghidorah, Jack Seabrook, into participating. This could be interesting, since John's never seen a movie the two Georges (Romero and Lucas) didn't have a hand in, and Jack usually favors the flicks that have words at the bottom of the screen (dis-moi que j'ai tort, Jack!). I, on the other hand, can't wait to educate these two gentlemen as to what constitutes good cinema.

Every Thursday, we'll count down our picks two at a time. We're hoping this will generate discourse outside of our trio. Let us know just how crazy we are. This is going to be fun!—Peter

The Empire Strikes Back (1980) 

Starring: Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher

Directed by Irvin Kershner

"The force is with you, young Skywalker... but you are not a Jedi yet."

As I've mentioned before, I liked Star Wars but I didn't love it. I loved The Empire Strikes Back (and I won't fall in with all that revisionist "Episode Five... Call it Episode Five!" nonsense; it'll always be just plain old The Empire Strikes Back to me) and, upon a recent viewing (my first in probably three decades), I'm pleased to report that it does hold up. Yeah, the romantic dialogue between Han and Leia is pretty awful and I'm not sure why the princess went from strong warrior to cowering wallflower in about an hour's time but, save those two missteps, this is one fantastic fantasy-adventure.

The first view of the walkers in the snow brings to mind the sudden appearance of the allies off the beach of Normandy in The Longest Day and elicits the same kind of goosebumps. We'd never seen anything like this before. The kids today will bemoan the lack of CGI in that and several other scenes (as if they've ever seen a walker in real life) but I bow down to George Lucas for opting to utilize stop-motion. I don't care if the damn things look like toys; they look like someone actually cared enough to put the extra work in. 

Pre-internet, there was actually a way to experience surprise at a twist in a tale and so it was that we (at the Century Theater on opening night) let out a gasp when Vader admitted he was Luke's pop. How (messed up) is that? Who would have thunk that George Lucas would torture his children so brutally after the cotton candy that was Star Wars? This was the best film of the three trilogies, no one can convince me otherwise, a dark and deep gamble that became a masterpiece.—Peter

Remarks from the Gallery:

Jack: This holds up much better than Star Wars. I saw this in a theater a year or two ago and it was a lot of fun, especially with a crowd. Knowing the big surprise didn't dampen my enjoyment one bit. Those big, lumbering, mechanical, camel-like things go on a bit long, but Harrison Ford is terrific. And, let's face it, any time James Earl Jones lends his voice to a character, it's worth hearing.

John: It's a classic, to be sure. I'll have more to say in the future, but for now will point out that, as great as it is, it doesn't stand alone the way the original does. And those of us who saw it in the summer of 1980 still have the scars of a three-year wait to get the resolution to the film's cliffhanger ending!

Volver (2006)

Directed by Pedro Almodovar

Starring: Penelope Cruz, Carmen Maura

"It really hurts when a daughter doesn't love her mother."

—"You're not a ghost, are you? You're not dead?"
—"No, love, I'm not."
—"That's such a relief."

Raimunda is a beautiful woman whose 14-year-old daughter kills Raimunda's husband in self-defense when he tries to rape her. Raimunda hides the body in the freezer of a recently closed restaurant. Meanwhile, Raimunda's late mother, who died in a fire years before, returns and stays with Sole, Raimunda's sister. Gradually, as Raimunda and the other women find ways to survive, hidden truths from the past emerge and the ghost is not quite what she seems.

Pedro Almodovar is one of a handful of directors who, when they put out a new movie, makes me drop everything and make sure I see it before it leaves the theater. I'm fortunate to live within a 20-minute drive of two theaters that show foreign and independent films, so I've been able to see all of Almodovar's movies for the last thirty years or so. Volver is a classic, blending noir elements with brilliant storytelling and situations that evoke Italian neorealism classics like the early work of Fellini. Penelope Cruz leads a cast of women who are completely believable in their interactions, even though some of the events may be surprising.

If you haven't seen Volver, you should put it on your list. It's worth a second viewing just to see all the clues to what's happening that you missed the first time around.--Jack

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: I've never seen this one and I don't know why. I'd watch anything starring Penelope Cruz!

John: Haven't seen this one yet but will watch it. I had hoped to see it at the Alamo Drafthouse this weekend; but right now it conflicts with our already-booked screening of The Searchers. If they add another show, we'll be sure to check it out.

Return of the Jedi (1983) 

Starring: Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Harrison Ford

Directed by Richard Marquand

"I am a Jedi, like my father before me."

I was 13 years old when Jedi was released, and it was the first Star Wars film I was actively anticipating—from the moment Lando and Chewie flew off to rescue Han Solo at the end of The Empire Strikes Back. As I mentioned when it came up on Jack's list, Star Wars (yes, Star Wars, not A New Hope) caught me by surprise. And while at 10 I had a vague awareness that there was a sequel coming (thanks mostly to my mail-away Boba Fett action figure), it was only after the release of Empire that I joined the Star Wars Fan Club and had plenty of advance notice of the third film's release date. 

Yes, we all know what Ewoks are despite that word never being uttered in the film, and sure, another assault on another Death Star sounds awfully familiar (though the look of a partially completed space station is a pretty stunning visual). The bottom line is this. The film memorably closed out a portion of my childhood. It mattered to me then and still does today. So there was no way I couldn't include it on my list. Had I been a few years older, perhaps I would I have been bitter to see this as the follow up to Irvin Kershner's Empire. But I wasn't. It hit me in a sweet spot, and watching it now I still revert back to the wide-eyed wonder of the kid who saw it at the Cinema 150. (Though it did feel wrong that the film hadn't opened in the Century Domes on Winchester, particularly given the fact that Century 22 [RIP] was one of the handful of theaters to open Star Wars on May 25, 1977).—John

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: I swear that the ranking of this and my #62  are pure coincidence. This one was the least of the three initial SW flicks thanks largely to the inanity of the Ewoks, a joke taken way too far. However, and this is a large however, the film is nearly redeemed thanks to Carrie Fisher's pit outfit. Can you imagine how awkward the average Star Wars fan felt when they learned that Princess Leia had boobies?

Jack: I was 20 in 1983 and, while I definitely went to see this movie when it came out, it didn't hit me the same way as it would have if I were 13. I'm sure I saw it again at some point, either on TV or on VHS, but I haven't seen it in ages. I certainly respect your feeling of nostalgia for a film that meant a lot to you as a young teen!

The Exorcist (1973) 

Starring: Ellen Burstyn, Max von Sydow, Linda Blair

Directed by William Friedkin

"What an excellent day for an exorcism."

This very well could be the most divisive movie in history. There are those who will see my pick and think "Yeah, it had to be on the list..." and others who will question my morality. That's fine, I constantly question my own morality, but one thing is clear... this is a great film. Everything is spot on, from the acting (including a supporting cast to die for) to Dick Smith's jaw-dropping makeup to the eerie lighting and locations to the lean and thought-provoking script.

Whole books have been written on The Exorcist so I don't have much to add. The film is filled with disturbing scenes but possibly the most unnerving to me is the possessed Regan watching and giggling while Karras tries to resuscitate Merrin. I was too young to see this on its first run so I didn't see the uncut version until it was re-released in 1979. I took my then-girlfriend and I think I still have the scars her fingernails left on my arm. I've seen all the sequels and the short-lived TV show and, for the most part, they weren't fit to carry Merrin's rosary, but I am intrigued by the upcoming Martyrs, directed by Stephen King's new favorite adaptor, Mike Flanagan. Mike, don't let me down, man.—Peter

Remarks from the Gallery:

Jack: I've seen it, perhaps more than once, but it's not one I feel compelled to rewatch. It's too scary!

John: A powerful and unsettling flick. With a fascinating story behind the making of it. While it didn't make my list, it is one of Friedkin's finest, without question. And I too have high hopes for the new one, which I probably shouldn't after that last... but I'll follow Scarlett Johansson anywhere.

Grand Illusion (1937)

Starring: Jean Gabin, Erich von Stroheim

Directed by Jean Renoir

"Frontiers are an invention of men. Nature doesn't give a hoot."

During WWI, two French aviators are shot down and taken to a prison camp where they plan to escape by digging a tunnel with other French prisoners. Just before they plan to make their exit, they are transferred to a mountain fortress that is said to be inescapable. Will the duo be able to get away?

Grand Illusion is one of the great films of the 20th century and features two of the greatest film actors—Jean Gabin and Erich von Stroheim. The DVD includes a wonderful short introduction by director Jean Renoir from 1958 in which he talks about how the film was rescued and restored. Criterion goes even further in the special features, both explaining and demonstrating how the film was restored to great quality.

The story is wonderful and makes me wish people and wars could be so civilized today. It's amazing that this was released in 1937, not long before Hitler would nearly destroy Europe.—Jack

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: Another blank stare from me. 

John: Yep, also one that I've never seen.

To Live and Die in L.A. (1985) 

Starring: William Petersen, Willem Dafoe, John Pankow

Directed by William Friedkin

"Buddy, you're in the wrong place at the wrong time."

By mere coincidence, when this film came out, I was taking a printing class in high school, in which we were using all of the same equipment used in the film to counterfeit money—from photographing and developing metal plates to inking the press to using the industrial cutters (with two buttons to reduce the risk of finger loss). It really made me appreciate the film's attention to detail in those scenes (and no, I did not engage in any illicit activities as a result of seeing the film).

The cast is great—William Petersen is at the top of his game as the Treasury agent who will stop at nothing to get revenge and Willem Dafoe has the perfect look for an evil genius. I absolutely love William Friedkin and enjoy listening to him talk about his own work and the work of other filmmakers. I am thrilled I had the opportunity to meet him when he was on tour for his autobiography with 35mm screenings of Sorcerer. One of the things I asked him about was picking music for his films, such as Tangerine Dream for Sorcerer, and Wang Chung for LA (I'm sure just one of the reasons why it's not on Peter's list—as it's about as 80s as you can get). 

This film takes several unexpected turns (and not just onto the wrong ramp of the freeway for an amazing car chase) and still captivates me from start to finish. I recently saw it again on the big screen for the first time in 40 years, and it holds up wonderfully.—John

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: More synchronicity. Two different films by Mr. Friedkin at #61! You are so wrong, young John; this is not missing from my list because of Wang Chung (which contributes its best song ever) but because there's only room for 100 movies. I think this is an incredible flick; the chase in the airport is just as dazzling as Friedkin's car chase in The French Connection. You can't keep your eyes off Peterson (post-Manhunter and pre-CSI) and his (SPOILERS!) nasty exit provides the film with an incredibly downbeat ending. I love downbeat endings. If we were doing The 110 List, To Live and Die In L.A. would definitely have been featured among my picks. 

Jack: I've never seen it—I've barely heard of it!

Journey Into Strange Tales Issue 201: Atlas/Marvel Science Fiction & Fantasy Comics!

 

The Marvel/Atlas 
Horror Comics

Part 186

October 1961

by Peter Enfantino

and Jack Seabrook

Amazing Adventures #5

Cover by Jack Kirby, Steve Ditko, and Dick Ayers

"The Escape of... Monsteroso!"

(a: Jack Kirby and Dick Ayers) ★

(r: Monsters on the Prowl #28)

"The Watchers!" (r: Don Heck) ★1/2

(r: Giant-Size Chillers #2)

"The Joker!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★

(r: Monsters on the Prowl #29)

Phil owns a failing circus... who goes to the circus now that the public can see anything it wants on TV?... and he also "owns" (their words, not mine, gals) a nag of a wife. Nag... nag... nag... that's all Ethel does. Phil is watching TV one night when the anchorman breaks the startling news that a tribe in Africa is reporting the crash of a UFO! No one believes the natives except Phil. He tells Ethel that he's hopping a plane and bringing back a real, live alien for the circus.

When Phil arrives in Africa, he interviews the locals and heads to the crash site. Sure enough, there's the wreckage of a really big spaceship and, nearby, the gargantuan body of an outer space visitor. Phil checks for a heartbeat and declares this alien dead as a dodo. He hires some of the natives to cart the creature back to civilization and charters a freighter to bring the corpse back to America, where he hopes to make millions off the beast.

But, three weeks into a sold out run at the Atlas Museum of Natural History, the creature, now dubbed Monsteroso, awakens and smashes through the walls of the building. Phil tries to plead with the authorities that Monsteroso might just be more afraid of us than we are of him, but to no avail. Even Ethel spits in Phil's general direction and rues the day she married him. 

Monsteroso blazes a trail of destruction right up to the U.N. building, where it climbs the structure and perches at the top as if waiting for a treat. If a harpoon filled with knockout serum is what the big guy is waiting for, he doesn't have long to wait. Soon after a massive dart pierces his flesh, Monsteroso takes a header into the East River. 

As he floats, the military gloats at their victory until the sun is blotted out by a huge shadow. Turns out Monsteroso is just a little toddler who hit the wrong button in his parents' spaceship and jettisoned a lifeboat with him on board. His parents apologize for any harm the kid may have committed while on vacation and comment that, if their son had been harmed, no force on Earth could have stopped their vengeance. Every single member of the military brass apologizes to Phil for their lunkheadedness and Ethel promises to obey her husband from here on out. 

Not only do Stan and Jack rip off King Kong and Gorgo but also themselves as this particular twist had been done at least a couple times in the past year. I love how Phil arrives at the crash site and there is zero scientific presence... no professors, no archaeologists, not even the National Enquirer! Just one very keen circus owner. Jack must be chuffed, since "The Escape of... Monsteroso!" contains not one, not two, but three "Earth viewed from outer space with conversation bubbles" panels! At some point, Stan will doubtless see the positives in a 13-page strip featuring nothing but "outer space convo" panels.

Despite winning the "Golden Brain" award from his colleagues in science, Henry Fletcher is afraid to admit to his fellow eggheads that, if his new theory is correct, there are invisible forces out there that guide the human hand toward new discoveries and scientific breakthroughs. Henry can't keep his wild hypothesis to himself, so he bends the ear of his poor janitor, Tom, who smiles and listens to the professor's cockamamie rantings. Tom tells Fletcher he needs some time off and the scientist admits the old-timer might be right. As Henry Fletcher exits the building, so does janitor Tom, who happens to be one of "The Watchers!" Never saw that one coming, didja? The script is hogwash, but if there's a bright side to reading all these awful strips, it's that I've found an appreciation for the work of Don Heck. He's no Neal Adams but he obviously put some thought into his work while at the drawing board.

Last and definitely least this issue is "The Joker!," wherein practical joker Horace is really getting on his friends' nerves. Some of the stunts Horace arranges are dangerous, so his buddies decide to teach the dope a lesson. They devise a scheme in which they will dress up like Martians and scare the crap out of the nuisance. Horace just happens to be outside their living room window eavesdropping when the boys hatch their plot. Just before stage time, they get cold feet, worrying the stunt might harm Horace rather than simply teach him a well-deserved lesson, so they cancel. Not to worry since real Martians pick just that time to visit Earth and break into Horace's house. Our lamebrained hero, believing it to be Freddy, Teddy, and Eddie, goes quietly with the giant beasts, laughing and joking the whole way. The laughs stop when Horace finds himself on a space ship rocketing to Mars. My comments on these stories are almost as easy to write as Stan's script: Nice art, disposable words.-Peter

Journey Into Mystery #73

Cover by Jack Kirby and George Klein

"Where Will You Be, When... the Spider Strikes!"

 (a: Jack Kirby and Dick Ayers) ★★

(r: Where Creatures Roam #8)

"What Lurks on Channel X?" 

(a: Jack Kirby and Dick Ayers) ★

(r: Fear #5)

"Menace from Mars!" (a: Don Heck) ★★

(r: Fear #5)

"One Look Means Doom!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★★

(r: Fear #5)

Bob Carter works at the local desert atomic center in New Mexico America, blasting photons with his proton torpedo machine, but this morning Bob's day will go horribly wrong. You see, while Bob slumbered the night before, a pesky but average-sized spider crawled up onto Bob's trousers while they were lying on his couch (Bob's a 1960s bachelor, so we can excuse him for leaving clothes all over the house) and, when Bob went to work, he took the little stowaway with him. Once in the lab, the eight-legger hops off and strolls around the room.

While Bob is doing what he does with highly dangerous atomic ray blasts, he gets a phone call. Rather than doing the sensible thing with a machine that could conceivably blast New America to hell, he leaves the room without pushing the OFF button. As any Atlas atomic dabbler could have told Bob, that's a rookie error. Little Melvin the Spider comes crawling out and wanders into the ray-beam's path, absorbing a dose that would reduce a man to dust. Melvin grows to the "size of a house" in no time at all, proving all those lunkheaded scientists who swore radioactive mutation takes generations to demonstrate change wrong.

The added extra density displayed by the gigantic arachnid triggers an alarm and Bob (accompanied by two other eggheads) rushes back into the room, only to be trapped in a giant web! The radiation has granted Melvin the power of speech and he immediately lays out his plan for the befuddled trio: he plans to gather up as many of his spider-buddies as he can find in the desert, bring them back to the lab, and blast them with proton rays. Then, world dominion awaits! 

Luckily for mankind, Bob and the boys escape the lab and make it into the desert before the army is assembled. Bob tricks Melvin into shooting a web at a passing missile (!) and the hairy beast is reduced to atoms when the weapon explodes. Bob admires the crispy corpse and wonders what he'll do now that his boss has fired him for incompetence.

Truly, this is a magical mess. Lots of fun inanities to wade through in "Blahblahblah... The Spider Strikes!" I touched on Bob's exit from the lab but let's revisit it anyway as it certainly brightened my day. Are there no safety protocols in 1961 Roswell? Why would Bob's "associate" interrupt a dangerous experiment to let him know he's got a call? Is the call from Kennedy, wanting to know if his Anti-Castro Ray™ is ready to be utilized (now that would be a great strip for Stan to write... "I Was Responsible for the 300-Foot Dictator!"), or just another telemarketer? If Melvin has grown "as big as a house," then why does he still fit inside the lab? Most important, why is "The Spider Strikes!" only seven pages long? Did Stan feel he didn't have enough story to justify thirteen? That never stopped The Man before!

Less successful is "What Lurks on Channel X!," wherein a lovely young couple are gifted a new TV by a strange man, only to discover that the set is a hypnosis device being tested by Plutonians hoping to conquer Earth. The Joneses are saved by a heretofore nasty landlord who stumbles upon the illegal antenna hooked up to the TV and breaks the connection. A rare second story for the Kirby-Ayers tandem (with a great splash) answers my question about the length of "The Spider Strikes!" but I'm still grumpy about having to read two of these things rather than one.

A man out walking alone in the woods is faced with the "Menace from Mars!" Seems the Martians are worried that Earth might be flexing its military muscles by sending satellites into space. Fearing Mars might be attacked, a trio of aliens arrive on Earth to interview the common man. Using a truth detector, the Martians ask their captive easy questions such as "Would you steal to become the world's richest man?" and "Who do you hate?" and "Julie Newmar or Eartha Kitt?" The innocence and love the man displays during his interview convinces the aliens that Earth is a wonderful place that poses no threat to other worlds. After the ship zips away, the men in the white uniforms come and take our hero back to the mental institution from whence he escaped. It's a cute, climactic twist that I know I've seen before (and I'm sure one of the notetaking readers will remind me where) and it elevates this above the usual rubbish. But I still wanna know how Martians would know to call their world Mars and ours Earth.

Charles and Sarah have always wanted to own an old European castle and... well, the price is right, so... despite warnings from the realtor that a curse lies upon the castle, the couple sign the papers and become the rightful owners. Once inside and strolling around, they find a locked door. Sarah goes off to find a crowbar to jimmy the damn thing while Charles waits behind. Suddenly, a voice cries out to him from behind the portal. He manages to get the door open and releases... Medusa! Everyone knows that "One Look Means Doom!" but the serpent-tressed vixen is astonished to see that Chuck isn't turning to stone. Wondering if her powers have weakened, she catches a gander of herself in a handy mirror and immediately starts to become a stone statue. Charles sighs and admits there are some advantages to being blind. Ooooof. Good art, lame script. I love how calm Charles is after discovering he's released a gorgon on the world.-Peter

Strange Tales #89 

Cover by Jack Kirby and Dick Ayers

"Fin Fang Foom!" (a: Jack Kirby and Dick Ayers) ★★★

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #21)

"The Green Things!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★

"The Touch of Midas!" (a: Paul Reinman) ★

Hoping to ward off an invasion from "Iron Curtain aggressors," Chan Luchow seeks out the legendary "Fin Fang Foom!," a deity rumored to be buried within the walls of an ancient temple. Bypassing the guards, Chan does indeed find and awaken the slumbering dragon and manipulates the creature into blazing a path of destruction across the Great Wall of China and its stinkin' commie army. Once the forces have been vanquished, Chan puts the dragon back in the temple for another long sleep, hoping no other man will stumble on the secret of Fin Fang Foom!

My judgment might be clouded by nostalgia once again, but I think "Fin Fang Foom!" is, by far, the best of the giant monster epics Stan and Jack pumped out over the couple years this sub-genre reigned. The heavy-handed politics, for once, actually work in favor of the plot rather than eliciting groans and Chan's plan from the get-go is to stave off annihilation rather than achieve personal gain. I fondly remember picking up that issue of Where Monsters Dwell and being captivated by the story and art and I'm happy to see it still holds up fifty years on.

How a follow-up story to this origin was never planned is beyond me, but Fin would be revived by Tony Isabella for use in his "It! The Living Colossus!" series for Astonishing Tales in 1974. Worldwide fame would elude the dragon until the 1990s, when he guest-starred in several issues of Iron Man. A quasi-Fin appeared on the big screen in the under-rated Marvel movie, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. The snake-like design of the creature is an odd one and, of course, so are his trunks.

Alas, the quality level takes a quick dive with "The Green Things!," wherein a burglar is foiled by the garden of a kind-hearted old man. Ditko is given nothing to work with here and so gives us lots of panels of talking heads and reaching vines and little else.

Selfish and rich, Simon Kluge only wants to become wealthier and if that means putting someone out of their house to make way for a parking lot, so be it! Simon is convinced that there really is such a thing as the Midas touch and he's clever enough to figure out where the King went wrong. All you have to do is wear gloves when you want to eat, right? Well, "The Touch of Midas!" has one of the most obvious "twist" endings ever. Once Simon dons his gloves, they turn to gold. How could he not have predicted that?-Peter

Tales of Suspense #22

Cover by Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko

"Beware of... Bruttu" (a: Jack Kirby and Dick Ayers) ★★

(r: Monsters on the Prowl #18)

"Only One is Human!" (a: Don Heck) ★★

(r: Creatures on the Loose #20)

"The Anatomy of a Nightmare!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★★1/2

(r: Monsters on the Prowl #18)

Howard is a man of slight build who is always being picked on by big bullies. His girlfriend Anne is kind but he thinks she just feels sorry for him. One day, he picks up a comic book featuring a giant monster named Bruttu and wishes he were like the character so no one would mess with him. Howard happens to work at a lab where a new type of atomic machine is being tested and, just as he's imagining life as Bruttu, he trips and bumps into the control lever. Howard is exposed to maximum radiation and, since he was thinking about Bruttu when he slipped, he suddenly turns into the monster!

Though his mind remains the same, Howard's body is now frightening and everyone cries, "Beware of... Brutto"! Everywhere he goes, people run in terror, and he can't tell them the truth because all he can do is growl. Police shoot at him, so he escapes to the countryside. Howard thinks that he might be able to write about his unfortunate situation, but he needs to find a very large writing instrument and has to run off again when the Army appears. Howard makes a fuss at a carnival as he begins to lose his temper. Finally, he visits Anne at home, wanting to see her once before he dies. He's able to pick up a rake and scratch a message to her in the dirt, but she surprises him by vocally expressing her love for Howard and accusing Bruttu of killing the man she loves!

Shocked and heartened, Howard lumbers back to the lab, where another jolt of radiation returns him to normal. Bruttu disappears and people think he must have been a visitor from outer space who fled. Howard and Anne end up in each other's arms.

"Beware of... Bruttu" isn't a bad story and it shows that Stan and Jack were just a whisker away from creating The Fantastic Four, where radiation would change characters physically but not mentally without turning them into evil creatures. It's interesting that Howard doesn't know what to do with his great size and strength and just wants everyone to calm down! It's too bad he didn't think to write a more direct message to Anne, something like, "Hey Anne! It's me, Howard!" On page two, there's a hybrid panel where Howard and Anne are surrounded by floating heads that mock him, while on page eleven the usual panel in outer space with a dialogue balloon is slightly different in that there are a couple of satellites floating by and some sort of fire emanating from the other side of the Earth. It's notable that Howard changes into the monster and changes back at the end--I think that's a new wrinkle, one we'll eventually get very used to with the Hulk.

Earthmen have invaded the planet Mars and are battling the Martians! After one big skirmish, the Martians retreat and the Earthmen quickly build a dome to protect them from Virus X, which is carried inside Martian bodies and which will kill any man who is exposed to it for 24 hours. Inside the dome, the men quickly realize that a Martian has infiltrated their ranks. There are two Robert Browns, each of whom looks exactly like the other. and both are able to answer every question tossed their way. Finally, the Martian is tripped up when fake news comes about the death of Mrs. Brown back on Earth. The Robert Brown who sheds no tears is exposed and tossed out of the dome, since everyone knows that only humans can cry!

Another fairly interesting story that flips the script by having the humans on Mars rather than the other way around. There is never any explanation for why we're invading the Red Planet. We can take comfort in the panel on page four that shows a view of Mars from space with dialogue balloons around it; perhaps Heck was taking a cue from Kirby. The twist ending doesn't hold up for me, though--why can't Martians cry, and how would humans know that?

Pressured to come up with a new type of fantasy story and facing writer's block, an author takes a pill guaranteed to cause nightmares! He falls asleep and dreams that he journeys to the tenth moon of Wozu, where he is confronted by aliens who are surprised to see that he looks just like them! The man wakes up and is frustrated that the pills didn't work--he just dreamed of his own world!

I knew something was up right away when Ditko hid the main character's face from the reader. I haven't watched "Eye of the Beholder" umpteen times for nothing! We're getting more and more of these stories about comic book writers and artists. Happily, Ditko's art is outstanding and he draws a dragon that reminds me of the work of Frazetta.-Jack

Tales to Astonish #24

Cover by Jack Kirby and Dick Ayers

"I Found the Abominable Snowman!"

(a: Jack Kirby and Dick Ayers) ★

"Something Missing!!" (a: Don Heck) ★1/2

(r: Where Creatures Roam #5)

"He Waits in the Dark!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★★

(r: Where Creatures Roam #5)

There is a pitched battle for ratings going on between two TV shows: "So You Want to See it!," where viewers write in with requests, and the "Don Jordan Show," which features performers. Jordan has an idea to embarrass his rival and, writing as George Smith, he asks to see a film of the Abominable Snowman. Victor Cartwright, producer of "So You Want to See It!," accepts the challenge and flies his TV crew to the Himalayas, where he plans to don a furry costume and announce that "I Found the Abominable Snowman!"

Things get dicey when the real Snowman captures the costumed Vic and takes him into a machine that drills down to the Earth's core. There, Vic learns "The Snowman's Secret!" He is really a lizard-like creature wearing a fur costume to keep warm while he searches for his missing brother, who disappeared while exploring long ago. Fred Cooper, a member of Vic's TV crew, followed his boss and hid in the drilling machine. He helps Vic escape, even managing to avoid being killed by a giant octopus when the duo fall into a pool of water! They make their way to the driller and ride it back to the surface, where they blow it up and agree to tell no one of what they found. In the end, on his TV show, Vic exposes his rival as the fake George Smith.

Where do I start? Does it get worse than this? I thought we learned a while back that the Abominable Snowman was really just a guy who wandered around so long that his hair grew really long. Apparently that was not correct; now he's really a lizard creature in disguise. Oddly enough, there are no outer space or floating head panels. Maybe they would've helped. The only thing of even minimal interest in this tale is the drilling machine, which reminds me of the one the Mole Man would soon use in the FF.

In 1969, the first manned space ship takes off for the planet Mercury! The crewmen are upset when they discover a stowaway named Sally, who couldn't bear to be apart from Tom, one of the astronauts. When the ship lands on Mercury, the lizard-like inhabitants of the planet are unimpressed with the gadgets and gizmos that the astronauts demonstrate. The Mercurians are about the zap the Earthlings with ray guns when Sally runs in front of Tom. This demonstration of love is new to the aliens, who agree to be pals with Earth folk in exchange for lessons in love.

Hokey, yes, but Heck draws decent Mercurians. It's better than the story that preceded it.

In an unnamed European city stands a shabby tenement where a cruel landlord ignores the pleas of his poor tenants for heat and repairs. The janitor complains and is fired; a new janitor is hired who quietly goes about taking care of things, explaining to the tenants that "He Waits in the Dark!" but never revealing what or for whom he is waiting. When the landlord goes too far and tells the janitor to throw any tenants who complain out into the cold, the janitor directs the tenants to a place where they will be given food and shelter. He then waits for the landlord to arrive. When he does, he tells the landlord that he's taking him and the tenement far away and they will never again be separated. From then on, the building and landlord are gone!

Ditko's art is so impressive that it almost makes up for the story, which is proceeding reasonably well until it reaches the ending, which doesn't make much sense. But at least we have the art!-Jack

On Thursday...
John Finally Gives Us a Sneak Preview
of What the Rest of His List Looks Like!

And Next Week...
Another Ditko Classic!

The 100 Chapter 19: 64 & 63

Who doesn't love a list?

I devour the BFI Best Films of All Time list whenever they deem it necessary to revise and (invariably) disagree with most of the findings, but I still get a kick out of browsing. Same with Rolling Stone's inane Best 100 Albums (how does Sgt. Pepper drop from #1 to #24 in the latest incarnation?); the anger I feel subsides when I see they've put a couple of Aerosmith albums on the list! We all disagree with that number one but we keep right on scrolling through each choice.

This project, which has been percolating for quite a while, originated from the constant back and forth "good natured bickering" between John Scoleri and myself. John invariably loves everything and I hate it all (for more of the discourse, I advise one and all to pick up a copy of bare•bones print magazine and read our debates about streaming and movie theaters to get a taste). I began to think it would be fun to compose a Favorite (as opposed to Best) 100 and compare our selections. Making it even more tantalizing, I managed to talk the third head of Ghidorah, Jack Seabrook, into participating. This could be interesting, since John's never seen a movie the two Georges (Romero and Lucas) didn't have a hand in, and Jack usually favors the flicks that have words at the bottom of the screen (dis-moi que j'ai tort, Jack!). I, on the other hand, can't wait to educate these two gentlemen as to what constitutes good cinema.

Every Thursday, we'll count down our picks two at a time. We're hoping this will generate discourse outside of our trio. Let us know just how crazy we are. This is going to be fun!—Peter

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956) 

Starring: Kevin McCarthy, Dana Wynter, King Donovan

Directed by Don Siegel

"I'd hate to wake up some morning and find out that you weren't you."

A lot has been written about Don Siegel's classic Invasion of the Body Snatchers and most of it has revolved around its subtle political undertones. All that highfalutin' malarkey is fine for highbrows but what constitutes a "favorite movie" for me is its rewatchability. I respect All the President's Men but I sure wouldn't want to watch it over and over. So, to me, Body Snatchers is a flick about an alien invasion most sinister, not a prediction of politics of the 2020s.

There's not one ounce of fat to this one; it gets right into the story and fills you in with the minor details along the way. McCarthy's Miles Bennell is back from what appears to be either a long vacation or one of those stuffy medical conventions and is immediately thrust into "mass hysteria." Patients reporting their loved ones aren't who they're supposed to be; oh, they look the same, sound the same, have all the memories, but there's just something missing. What follows is Bennell's trek through hell, as he watches his allies, one by one, become "pod people" until he's the last human standing, screaming like a madman on a Los Angeles overpass. "You're next!"

Those of us who love bleak, downbeat endings know that's where the flick should have ended (and that's where the first cut did end before the studio demanded the clunky bookends with Whit Bissell) and, lucky for us, we have the power to end it right there with the flick of a remote. The performances are all top-notch, with McCarthy stellar as a guy who, let's face it, wants to put all this pod stuff behind him and get into Dana's knickers. Body Snatchers could very well be the first science fiction/noir film, with Don Siegel lighting his sets and setting up his shots just as he would have one of his crime pics.

The 1950s was stuffed full of quality science fiction films and a lot of them, like Body Snatchers, seemed to have been made with no intention to be anything more than 90 minutes of product. Jack Finney's The Body Snatchers has been filmed several times and some would say Philip Kaufman's is the best of the lot. I won't argue with that... well, yes, I will. This one is the best.—Peter

Remarks from the Gallery:

Jack: What a great choice! I'm a big fan of this movie and agree that it's the best version. I saw the 1978 version when it came out and enjoyed it, but it can't hold a candle to the original. Best not to mention the 1993 mess.

John: This was a formative movie for me growing up. But as much as I enjoy it, it's no longer the most watchable version for me. I popped it in just a few months back and, while there was a certain amount of nostalgia, it lacked the special sauce needed to break into my top 100. Rest assured, the great Don Siegel will show up on my list, just not for this classic. 

Jason and the Argonauts (1963)

Starring: Todd Armstrong, Nancy Kovack

Directed by Don Chaffey

In Ancient Greece, Jason is sent on a quest to recover the legendary Golden Fleece, unaware that the man who sent him is evil King Pelios, who hopes Jason will be killed.

Okay, enough with the plot—let's get to the cool parts! I had to include a Ray Harryhausen movie on my list and I picked Jason and the Argonauts for one main reason: the fight with the skeletons. Sure, the single skeleton in The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad is awesome, but seven of them? Incredible! The special effects still hold up and I will never get over how much work went into these sequences. The hydra, with its multiple heads; the bronze statue coming to life—it's all great. The rest of the movie is okay, but Todd Armstrong never did anything else worth watching.

The Bernard Herrmann score is great, and I thought I heard a snippet of something he had used (or would use) on The Alfred Hitchcock Hour at one point. The movie was filmed in late 1961, right before Honor Blackman began co-starring in The Avengers on TV. She was certainly gorgeous, but I think Nancy Kovack was even more attractive in this! She had a long career and appeared on The Alfred Hitchcock Hour, Batman, and Star Trek, so we certainly know her. I have a feeling at least one more Harryhausen flick will show up on John's list, but we'll have to wait and see.—Jack

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: Oh boy, oh boy! I will have a lot more to say than "Oh boy, oh boy!" when I get to this one much later! I'll put a fiver down that this is another one that makes all three lists (and if not, the guy who leaves it off is a dope!).

John: I may be a dope, but hey—I'm $5 richer! Without question, Harryhausen's finest hour. But I'm afraid this one, and several others for that matter (Seventh and Golden Voyage of Sinbad), just couldn't fight their way into my top 100. 

Pulp Fiction (1994) 

Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, John Travolta, Bruce Willis

Directed by Quentin Tarantino

"If I'm curt with you, it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast, and I need you guys to act fast if you wanna get out of this. So, pretty please... with sugar on top. Clean the fucking car."

Having seen and loved Reservoir Dogs, I was there on opening night for Pulp Fiction. And of course the film blew me away. So many things we take for granted in cinema today can be traced back to this film. And while there have always been non-linear narratives in film, Tarantino masterfully uses the format to introduce us to, witness the loss of, and then go back and hang out with the characters for a little while longer before sending us on our way. 

It's populated with a great cast who navigate the wild, entertaining, and twisting stories. And once again Tarantino scores the film with songs both familiar and unfamiliar that, once you've seen it, will forever be associated with the film.  

Is it a perfect film? No. Are there indulgences on his part? Sure there are. But it's an amazing achievement for a sophomore effort. And it reiterated the importance of being there on opening night for every film this unique voice delivers.—John

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: File this under.... amazing. I thought this was a lock for Top 20 at least but I guess you gotta bump something to make room for Highlander 2, right?

Jack: I liked it enough to include it my top 100, but I still would fast-forward through much of the Bruce Willis stuff. The classic scenes and lines are worth watching over and over, though.

The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) 

Starring: Peter Sellers, Herbert Lom, Christopher Plummer

Directed by Blake Edwards

"Do you have a lahsonse for your minkey?"

By the time The Return of the Pink Panther hit screens in 1975, movie slapstick was pretty much dead (it could be argued that so too were the careers of Blake Edwards and Peter Sellers), but we young teens still ate it up on TV. The Three Stooges and the Little Rascals were the most popular shows on TV, at least according to my buds on the playground. I can remember seeing Panther (at the Winchester Drive-In), but I don't know what prompted us to see it. It certainly wasn't fond memories of the first two Sellers films since I'd never seen (or heard of) them.

Whatever the reason, its visual comedy really appealed to me and I saw it again that summer in a better setting (at the Century, I think). I've seen it at least a couple dozen times over the last fifty years thanks mostly to my kids, who put the film on heavy rotation when they were young. It has a timeless quality to it; anyone can appreciate the sight gags. Yeah, it does drag at times when Clouseau is not around (Plummer looks like he's there for the money) but, mercifully, that is not often. Who watches it for the intrigue, anyway?

My favorite sequence of the movie would have to be when Clouseau is snooping around in the hotel room of Lady Claudine Litton; he's dressed as some kind of cleaning man, equipped with a very strong vacuum. There's a parrot in a cage and, of course, the bumbler sucks the thing right off its perch into the vacuum; when the bird climbs out of the tank, he's wearing the Inspector's fake mustache. Clouseau has trouble with a light bulb that keeps popping out of its socket so, naturally, he sticks his finger in to see if there's an obstruction and receives one of the most realistic electric shocks in all of movie history.

The scene goes on, involving an indoor sauna and a helpful bellboy ("Keep up the good work, and I shall see to it you become a bellman" promises Clouseau) and, by the end of the long scene, my laugh-o-meter measured me at eleven. That scene never fails to make me piss myself. And that's just one of many such riotous passages in The Return of the Pink Panther, my second favorite comedy of all time!—Peter

Remarks from the Gallery:

Jack: Those three Pink Panther movies in the mid- to late-'70s killed me. I laughed and laughed and saw them over and over. All I had to do was put on a bad French accent and mention my "minkey" and everyone would laugh. You didn't mention Cato, who also led to much hilarity. I love it when Clouseau tries to figure out where he is hiding or if he's even there at all and them-BAM!-a martial arts battle (of sorts) erupts.

John: I guess you had to be there. Though to be perfectly honest, the most shocking thing isn't that Return of the Pink Panther made it into your top 100—it's that with 62 movies to go, you've only got one more comedy on your list? 

Dirty Harry (1971)

Starring: Clint Eastwood, Harry Guardino

Directed by Don Siegel

"Do I feel lucky?"

San Francisco in 1971 is a dirty, depressing place, and things only get worse when a killer named Scorpio randomly shoots a woman while she's swimming in a rooftop pool. Scorpio sends a note demanding $100,000 or he'll kill again. Inspector Harry Callahan is put on the case and eventually tracks down the killer, leading to a gunfight at a quarry.

Watching Dirty Harry last night I was both fascinated and repelled. When the scene late in the film arrived where Scorpio pays a Black man to beat him up, I began to question whether I wanted to keep this movie on my list or not. But by the end, I decided to stick with it. It's a complicated movie that seems like a simple one.

Don Siegel's direction is excellent. He keeps the story moving along rapidly and uses darkness and shadows evocatively. Eastwood is so effective as Harry that it almost doesn't seem like he's portraying a character. The movie is very violent but doesn't make the violence seem appealing in any way. The catch phrase, "Do I feel lucky?," is used twice—once at the beginning and once at the end, and is what most people remember about the movie. I wish the film had even a tiny bit of humor or something to relieve the unyielding sense of doom and gloom. Hitchcock knew how to do that, but Dirty Harry is just bleak from beginning to end.—Jack

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: It's the gloom that makes this immensely rewatchable for me. Do you think I'll be talking more at length about the Dirtiest Harry of them all at some point? Well, do ya... punk?

John: I didn't get the memo that this was Don Siegel week in the 100. Dirty Harry still resonates for me after what must be dozens of viewings, and revisiting it via its stunning new 4k restoration recently just reinforced why I won't be talking about it in depth for quite a while. But I can't let a mention of the film pass without acknowledging the important contribution of composer Lalo Schifrin. As far as I'm concerned, he's a key ingredient in the franchise, second only to Eastwood (and his absence is the reason why The Enforcer gets docked a star in my book). 

Planet of the Apes (1968) 

Starring: Charlton Heston, Roddy McDowell, Maurice Evans

Directed by Franklin J. Schaffner  

"Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!"

While coming up with my list of 100 favorites, I gave a lot of consideration to which Ape film would make the cut. At times, all but the last (Battle) have probably held the spot of my favorite. While my love for Beneath has waned a bit over the years, it's certainly the most horrific of the series. Conquest has grown in my esteem as I was better able to appreciate the class dynamics at play as I got older. I will always have a soft spot for Escape, with another fantastic Goldsmith score, a bold new direction, a classic villain, and an extremely downbeat ending (with a slight glimmer of hope). But the more I thought about it, I came around to the fact that if I was going to elevate one, it had to be the original.

It's amazing that the ape makeup is still convincing, all these years later. Pre-Star Wars, the wedge-shaped Icarus was probably my favorite spaceship design. I've always wondered how things might have played out had Astronaut Stewart also survived the journey. The discovery of her mummified remains was a striking image! Goldsmith's score was amazing and original. And what more can be said about the all-time classic ending? Yep, this is the one that should be on the list. The first, if not best, of Heston's sci-fi trilogy...—John

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: The only thing I'll disagree with is that this is the best of the Apes flicks. But we'll talk about that more at a later date. 

Jack: It didn't make my top 100, but it's a memorable film. I'll watch anything written by Rod Serling and I love the prosthetics.