The 100 Chapter 13: 72 & 71

Who doesn't love a list?

I devour the BFI Best Films of All Time list whenever they deem it necessary to revise and (invariably) disagree with most of the findings, but I still get a kick out of browsing. Same with Rolling Stone's inane Best 100 Albums (how does Sgt. Pepper drop from #1 to #24 in the latest incarnation?); the anger I feel subsides when I see they've put a couple of Aerosmith albums on the list! We all disagree with that number one but we keep right on scrolling through each choice.

This project, which has been percolating for quite a while, originated from the constant back and forth "good natured bickering" between John Scoleri and myself. John invariably loves everything and I hate it all (for more of the discourse, I advise one and all to pick up a copy of bare•bones print magazine and read our debates about streaming and movie theaters to get a taste). I began to think it would be fun to compose a Favorite (as opposed to Best) 100 and compare our selections. Making it even more tantalizing, I managed to talk the third head of Ghidorah, Jack Seabrook, into participating. This could be interesting, since John's never seen a movie the two Georges (Romero and Lucas) didn't have a hand in, and Jack usually favors the flicks that have words at the bottom of the screen (dis-moi que j'ai tort, Jack!). I, on the other hand, can't wait to educate these two gentlemen as to what constitutes good cinema.

Every Thursday, we'll count down our picks two at a time. We're hoping this will generate discourse outside of our trio. Let us know just how crazy we are. This is going to be fun!—Peter

Aliens (1986) 

Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Michael Biehn, Paul Reiser

Directed by James Cameron

"We'd better get back, 'cause it'll be dark soon, and they mostly come at night... mostly."

No, it's not nearly as good as Alien, of course, but this is one riotous, rollicking mindless ride once it shifts into second gear about an hour or so in. James Cameron (the only time you'll hear that name on this list) was coming off the unexpected success of Harlan Ellison's The Terminator and that gave him a bit of pull in Hollywood. He levied that newfound mojo into a higher budget for the floundering Alien II and managed to make his $20 million budget look like $200 million. It's a very easy film to describe to newcomers who might want to take a look: Rambo in Space. I saw this opening night at the Cinema 150 right up the road from where young teen John Scoleri resided.

Some of the dialogue is cringeworthy (Bill Paxton's  overcaffeinated "Dude, let's paaaaaaahty" one-liners, in particular remind you just why the 1980s should be excised from history, yet those bon mots are what most of the knuckleheads remember today) and Ripley's see-saw attitude toward the trip ("There's no way I'll go down on that planet... Okay, I'll go down but I ain't gettin' off the bus... ok, I'm going in") can be confusing, but the action is non-stop and the climactic fight between Ripley and the Queen a dazzler. After this one, the franchise took a header. And, hey, for the first time on the 100, the kid ain't annoying!—Peter

Remarks from the Gallery:

Jack: In my memory, this was one of those sequels that was better than the original, like Spider-Man 2, X-Men 2, Terminator 2, etc. Alien was good but this was supercharged! I haven't seen it in decades, but I have fond memories of it.

John: As far as I'm concerned, Aliens doesn't deserve to be within 100 films of Alien on a list like this (and we'll get to that one in time, but it's going to be a while). I'm honestly shocked that you can somehow forgive all of the '80s excess of this film when you so openly complain about it in so many others. I give Cameron credit for being smart enough to distance himself from the tone of Ridley Scott's far superior original, but I think he must have still been high on Rambo fumes when he sat down to write it. And I'd put it about on par with that one, which is similarly distanced from the much preferred First Blood. And don't even get me started on the ridiculous Queen vs Power Loader set-piece. Thankfully, in 1986 we had films like Highlander to cleanse the palate after disappointments such as this.

 

The Warriors (1979)

Starring: Michael Beck, James Remar

Directed by Walter Hill

"Can You Dig It?"

"Warriors! Come out to play-ay!"

A charismatic figure named Cyrus calls a meeting of representatives from 100 gangs in New York City. Each gang sends nine members to the Bronx, where Cyrus calls for a truce, suggesting that if the gangs all work together, they will wield incredible, city-wide power. Among the gangs in attendance are the Warriors, from Coney Island. Suddenly, a shot rings out from the crowd and Cyrus is killed! The shooter points at the Warriors and accuses them of the assassination. The police arrive and all the gangs scatter! Can the Warriors make it home by subway from the Bronx to Coney Island without being caught by the cops or wiped out by rival gangs?

I must have seen The Warriors on VHS a year or two after it came out. I watched it with my guy friends and loved it from the start. Watching it again this week, I was struck by how accurate the portrait of NYC in the late '70s is. It really was dirty and dangerous, but it had an appeal that is missing in today's high rent, low risk metropolis. What works best about the movie is the rival gangs, each of whom has something unusual in the way they dress or act. Most memorable are the Baseball Furies, who wear baseball uniforms, carry baseball bats, and paint their faces.

I watched the director's cut, in which Hill added transitions from scene to scene that are made to look like comic book pages. Best of all on the disc are interviews with cast and crew, where the costume designer reveals that the idea of painting the Baseball Furies' faces was inspired by Kiss—"they were big at the time." At about an hour and a half, it's not too long and the ending, when the villain clinks beer bottles together and taunts, "Warriors! Come out to play-ay!" is what everyone remembers.—Jack

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: A classic (another that just barely missed my list) but no mention of the A+ end credits song by Joe Walsh (remade by Eagles later that year for The Long Run)? This is another of the movies from 1979 that I must have seen twenty times. My favorite scene isn't even a gang fight; it's the nice, tender moment between Swan and Mercy on the subway where the posh kids are giving them the stink-eye. Great little break between skull bashings.

John: While not on my list, I do think this one is a lot of fun. And another great David Patrick Kelly performance! What stands out to me is how a film that should not hold up to scrutiny, in particular given the colorful costuming of each of the different gangs, manages to rise above it. It somehow works and fits in the world Hill created. It feels like New York before it was walled off into a maximum security prison. I personally recommend skipping the director's cut, at least until you've had a chance to experience it as it was initially released. 

The Fog (1980) 

Starring: Hal Holbrook, Adrienne Barbeau, Tom Atkins, Jamie Lee Curtis

Directed by John Carpenter

"At the bottom of the sea lay the Elizabeth Dane, with her crew, their lungs filled with salt water, their eyes open, staring to the darkness."

Another John Carpenter classic, and a great modern day ghost story. The crew of the Elizabeth Dane lay at the bottom of the ocean for 100 years after the founders of Antonio Bay intentionally lit fires to cause their ship to crash. As present day locals prepare to celebrate the town's centennial, a fog returns to Antonio Bay, and there's something in it! The film features one of Carpenter's most haunting scores.

The human cast is fantastic, from Hal Holbrook, Adrienne Barbeau, and Janet Leigh to the many members assembled from Carpenter's stock company: Jamie Lee Curtis, Tom Atkins, Charles Cyphers, Nancy Loomis, and Darwin (Napoleon Wilson) Joston! And we can't forget the ghosts, led by makeup effects artist Rob Bottin as captain Blake, who are incredibly creepy with their unforgettable glowing eyes!—John

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: Adrienne Barbeau! If you were a male teen in the 1970s, only Farrah boiled your eggs faster. Just watched this recently and, while it won't show up on my 100 List, I still got a kick out of it. You can tell Widow's Bay took a lot of inspiration from The Fog (but that's okay since JC obviously borrowed his atmosphere from EC Comics and maybe a little Fulci). And one more time: Adrienne Barbeau.

Jack: I remember seeing this in a theater when it came out. It was scary and fun. I probably saw it again on VHS way back when but I haven't watched it in 40+ years.

Deliverance (1972) 

Starring: Burt Reynolds, Jon Voight, Ned Beatty

Directed by George McCowan

"Did you ever look out over a lake and think of somethin' buried underneath it? Buried underneath it. Well man, that's just about as buried as you can get."

Four buddies go for a canoe trip on the Cahulawassee River (actually the Chattooga) in Georgia and attract the attention of some unrefined folk along the way. An encounter leads to death by self-defense using a bow and arrow and the boys find themselves stalked by the dead man's kinfolk. The father of so many "rednecks vs. city boys" flicks that it would take me days to list (and to be fair, a few of those were pretty dolgarn good), Deliverance is one harrowing, engrossing thriller. 

The leads (the fourth man is Ronnie Cox from The Car) are all solid. Beatty and Voight always elevate what they're in but if you've never seen Burt Reynolds in anything but his good 'ol boy comedy flicks, you're in for a real treat (although he was equally good in 1974's The Longest Yard). Each man has his own obvious personality trait: Reynolds the macho asshole; Beatty the overweight city boy dismissive of the hill people he comes in contact with; Cox the moral compass; and Voight the buddy who just wants to fit in but doesn't really know why he's come along. By movie's end, these guys all seem to have switched personality traits.

There's a lot to recommend here; some critics pointed to the ecological theme (the end of nature) while others found the photography (by Vilmos Zsigmond) to be the highlight. For me, it's the breakneck pace; there's no time to catch that breath. No sooner do we bury the mountain man than we're back in the canoes, facing the rapids and more unfriendly inbreds. I think the first time I saw Deliverance must have been its TV premiere in 1975. I remember all the kids at school echoing the famous "Squeal like a pig!" line during recess the next day. Voight spotting Burt in the distance, pulling back his bow just before he lets it fly, still raises the hairs on the back of my neck fifty years on.—Peter

Remarks from the Gallery:

Jack: I've seen this more than once but not in a while. I agree it's a great flick. Now that banjo music will be stuck in my head.

John: It's a good film, but not one that compels me to revisit it with any frequency, so not a candidate for my Top 100.

The Road Warrior: Mad Max 2 (1981)

Starring: Mel Gibson

Directed by George Miller

The ayatollah of rock and rollah!"

In the not too distant future, civilization has collapsed and what few people are left fight to the death for oil and gasoline to power their engines. Mad Max Rockatansky, a former policeman whose family was killed, happens upon a makeshift fortress in the Australian Outback where survivors guard a tanker full of gas. He decides to help them fend off attacks by a group of violent lunatics led by someone who calls himself Lord Humongous and this leads to a wild, extended chase, with every sort of vehicle trying to catch and stop Mad Max as he drives the tanker toward a safer area.

I watched this last night and was struck by the humor, the violence, and the sheer propulsion of the long chase that makes up the latter part of the film. I can remember when this came out and Mel Gibson was one of the coolest movie stars on the planet, long before he went off the deep end. George Miller's direction seemed spectacular at the time, though I've long since lost interest in his career. The Australian Outback filming locations sure are bleak, as is the narrative, but there's still enough here to make it an enjoyable watch. The flood of post-apocalyptic films that followed in its wake have dimmed its effect somewhat, but it was groundbreaking at the time.—Jack

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: Now this is one of those sequels that is better than the original. This was released during that dynamite summer of 1982, where we got Poltergeist, Rocky III, E.T., Carpenter's The Thing, Blade Runner, and Conan. We'll never see a summer like that again. I think I lived at the Century Theater. Anyway, I loved this one, though not nearly enough to include it on my list. 

John: George Miller is one of a kind, and The Road Warrior is one of those rare handful of films that managed to launch an entirely new genre of copycat films. The look and feel would be emulated for years to come but never matched (though Miller himself has delivered several strong examples in the franchise since). I'll even go on record agreeing that this one surpasses the original (though I'm still a huge fan of Mad Max, particularly with the original Australian dialogue track). 

Highlander (1986) 

Starring: Christopher Lambert, Sean Connery, Clancy Brown

Directed by Russell Mulcahy

"There can be only one."

Immortals. Sword fighting. Beheadings. And Queen! Highlander was my first exposure to Christopher Lambert who with, the support of the late, great Sean Connery in one of his most entertaining performances, we see him evolve from a clumsy barbarian to an accomplished sword master. And it was also my first exposure to Clancy Brown who, as a result of this film, I would subsequently expect to portray the nastiest of villains whenever he showed up onscreen (and he all too often happily obliged).

Russell Mulcahy took his experience shooting music videos and created a visually stunning adventure. The use of the Queen songs is far more effective than how their music was deployed in Flash Gordon. (Yes, there were the inevitable sequels, as well as a TV series, all of which seem to have  forgotten the whole 'there can be only one' mantra.)—John

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: This movie sucks and so does the Queen soundtrack. And you can quote me on that. I think we have Highlander to blame for all the Harlequin bodice rippers of the 1980s. Or is it the other way around? At any rate, all of it should be thrown on a pile and ignited ASAP. I knew there would be some interesting picks made by my pal, John, but this is the first one that made me roll my eyes.

Jack: I've not seen this, but I don't know why. It seems like something I'd enjoy.

Journey Into Strange Tales Issue 196: Atlas/Marvel Science Fiction & Fantasy Comics!

 

The Marvel/Atlas 
Horror Comics

Part 181

May 1961

by Peter Enfantino

and Jack Seabrook

Journey Into Mystery #68

Cover by Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers

" 'Spragg' Conqueror of the Human Race!"

(a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers) ★★1/2

(r: Creatures on the Loose #15)

"Where Walks the Ghost" (a: Steve Ditko) ★

(r: Monsters on the Prowl #16)

"The Man from Mars!" (a: Don Heck) ★

(r: Monsters on the Prowl #15)

After a massive earthquake rocks Transylvania, Professor Bob asks his boss if he can investigate. After arriving in Dracula's home town, Bob is given the cold shoulder by the villagers when he asks them about a strange, hastily erected wall just outside of town. With all the skill of a mountain climber, Bob scales the tall structure but is amazed to find that, at the top, the wall is electrified!

Not one to give in easily, Bob returns the next day with a rented plane (from Transylvania Plane Rentals, no doubt) and flies over the fence. The plane disintegrates and Bob is lucky that (for some reason) the other side of the wall is stocked with haystacks. His fall is cushioned and he travels farther inland to investigate. What he stumbles on drops his jaw to his feet. Several villagers, obviously under the spell of some diabolical mind control, lugging heavy mechanical instruments around a small mountain.

You think Bob has had it bad already? Just imagine the chills that run up his spine when he sees the hill has eyes! Yep, the mound of earth is alive and spouting out instructions for its slaves. Bob quickly learns the thing's name is " 'Spragg' Conqueror of the Human Race!" and that the only reason he, himself, is not under the control of the evil mountain is that his helmet is made of steel. Lucky Bob!

Bob has stumbled upon the evil Spragg just as it is about to reveal its horrifying origin: millions of years before, when our sun exploded and made the planets, Spragg and his colleagues became part of the underground, just waiting patiently for the right time. Now's the right time. What is Spragg's mission? To become the ruler of Earth and a really rich mountain. It dreams of receiving big bundles of cash and jewelry as tribute (honestly, this is really his goal--I ain't making this up!). With billions of dollars and lots of slaves at his command, Spragg will be the most powerful mountain in Europe!

But Bob has an ace up his sleeve and a keen knowledge of how mechanical instruments can be used against evil hills. He transforms lots of pipes and fuel (!) into a "rocket apparatus dynamo" and Spragg achieves liftoff, sending it into the deeps of space. Man is safe once again thanks to Bob the Builder. Just for that final series of panels of Spragg, angry look on his face, blasting into the air, this story is worth slogging through. This is one entertaining strip, possibly the first in Atlas history to feature a menace incapable of movement! But for its mental capabilities, Spragg might be dismissed as a novelty by locals who've been terrorized by more imposing monsters in the past.

In "Where Walks the Ghost," "Big" Monk McGraf escapes police custody and heads into the country to look for a place to hide. He finds a perfect house but the real estate agent swears it's haunted. Once Monk gets the keys, he threatens the agent with death but, the surprise is on Monk, the old man is the ghost that haunts the dilapidated estate. Scared out of his mind, Monk rushes to the police to beg them to arrest him. Last up is the equally lame "The Man from Mars!," wherein famously cheap carnival owner Joe Krunk hits on the idea of a new attraction: a man from Mars! He talks a skid row bum into dressing up as the alien but then Joe gets the surprise of his life when... yep, you guessed it... the bum is the real deal. Only Joe was fooled.-Peter

Strange Tales #84

Cover by Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers

"The Wonder of the Ages!!! Magneto!"

(a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers) ★★

(r: Monsters on the Prowl #24)

"Twelve Silent Men!" (a: Paul Reinman) ★

"They Met on Mars!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★★

(r: Monsters on the Prowl #24)

Super freak Hunk Larken (all eight feet and 350 pounds of him) only wants to find his place in society but everyone treats him like a carnival attraction. Hunk thinks he's found a friend in a man who acts as his agent, trying to farm Hunk out to a professional sports team, but his gigantic proportions throw his timing off and baseball, basketball, and boxing all go out the window.

Without a job and on his own, Hunk stumbles upon a carnival, where the owner hires him for the freak show. That goes well for about twenty minutes and then the big galoot grows tired of perfect strangers asking him how the weather is up there and starts pounding hayseeds into the ground. Once again, Hunk is without a vocation. Then, he answers an ad placed by the government looking for a few good men to send up in rocket ships to do a little space testing.

Astronaut Hunk Larken exits Earth's atmosphere and rockets right through a strange radioactive mist that makes him feel really ill. NASA brings him home immediately but, upon exiting the capsule, Hunk discovers that he can attract metal objects with his left arm and repel them with his right! Gone is Hunk and in his place stands "The Wonder of the Ages!!! Magneto!" The big guy swears, as God is his witness, he'll never go hungry again and starts robbing banks and picking up big boats and silly stuff like that.

Meanwhile, Hunk's sports agent sees the behemoth on TV and contacts the government, informing them that the only reason the giant is acting up is because he's been mistreated by his fellow man. Magneto just needs a little kindness and he'll stop his criminal ways. Hunk overhears a news report that the government plans to send another ship into space. Knowing he'll never fit in on Earth, he stows away on the rocket and blasts off to parts unknown. In space, Hunk "Magneto" Larken gets a message from NASA, informing him that the rocket is a gift from Earth and apologizing for the rude behavior shown him. The ship has enough food onboard to last for years. "Good luck to you, Magneto! May you find your destiny--out there!"

Here's an apology for ya--we've treated you like the ugly stepsister for years so, to make up for it, we're blasting you into space and you may or may not find a planet more to your liking; if not, you'll die of starvation! There's entirely too much character buildup and not enough payoff (we're to page eight of thirteen before Hunk gets his powers) but the draw here is the obvious inspiration for the X-Men's most famous nemesis just a couple years before the title was launched. Hunk is unique in that he doesn't grow to 20 feet tall or sprout fangs and a hairy suit (unlike the guy on the cover); he's already a really big guy. Sometimes, spotting these early influences is the most fun these 1960s Atlas strips provide.

Victor Fabius, the world's most successful lawyer (122-0 with 88 knockouts in the courtroom) has grown bored with his relatively small fortune and decides he really must expand his horizons and make some serious coin. So Victor does what any other inhabitant of the Atlas Universe would do: he steals an experimental time machine and travels one hundred years into the future, with an eye to checking out old horse racing magazines and Wall Street Journals and then heading back to 1961 armed with lots of sure-fire info with which to grow his fortune. Victor runs into a problem when he's put on trial for stealing the time machine. "Twelve Silent Men!" begins with a ludicrous concept (if time travel is possible then everyone would travel to the future to cash in) and fizzles out quickly.

Last up is "They Met on Mars!," a fairly decent red-scare quickie about two aliens who meet on the red planet, ready to declare that world as their own. Turns out one is American and one is a stinkin' commie. Of course, since this is 1961, the Russkie is scouting an outer space base for the commies to destroy anything and everyone they find objectionable. Have no fear, since the American blows up the USSR ship and flies away to freedom. This one starts promisingly but transitions into overly familiar (Stan Lee) territory. At least the always dependable Steve Ditko is holding our collective hand as we make our way through the land mines of the Cold War.-Peter

Tales of Suspense #17

Cover by Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers

"Beware of Googam, Son of Goom!!" (a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers) ★★

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #16)

"There is Something Strange About Mr. Jones!" (a: Don Heck) ★1/2

(r: Fear #10)

"What Lurks in the Mountain?" (a: Steve Ditko) ★1/2

(r: Creatures on the Loose #18)

Two issues ago, we read about Goom, a creature from space who wanted to rule the world but was outsmarted by an astronomer named Mark. Little did the scientist know that Goom left his infant son, Googam, hidden in a nearby cave!

Mark's teenaged son, Billy, is out exploring one day when he is captured by Googam. When Mark points a rifle at the young alien, Googam breaks the gun in half and announces that he's moving in with Mark and his family. They will be his prisoners until he's fully grown and his powers mature. Googam puts a force field around Billy each night to prevent the family from escaping.

A local busybody named Sara pays a visit to Mark's house and is scared away by the sudden appearance of Googam, but by the time she gets home she's convinced herself it was a prank. Googam keeps growing and getting stronger, passing the time by demonstrating how he can shrink Mark's family just by concentrating. Mark tries to alert the mailman with a note thrown out the window, but Googam witnesses this and chases the letter carrier away.

Finally, Billy has an idea. He challenges Googam to a game of tag and the alien chases the lad down the mountainside, where Googam sinks in quicksand that Billy avoided by climbing a tree. Will Googam return in a future issue?

"Beware of Googam, Son of Goom!!" features the odd spectacle of a big monster who never goes anywhere and who never really menaces anyone. In addition to the red swim trunks that match his skin color, he also appears to have some sort of cape that only appears when he raises his mighty arms. During the time he lives with Mark's family, does he wash his outfit? Does it have to be washed in cold water because it's red? Does he have an extra-large bathrobe to wear while Helen is doing the laundry?

The other thing we've mentioned before is Kirby's penchant for including, in what seems like every story, at least one panel that shows a view of planet Earth from outer space, with dialogue balloons showing what the earthbound characters are discussing. Why? Is this supposed to make the story seem more universal? This story includes two such panels, one on page eight, where Sara and her husband discuss her need to know what's going on with Mark's family, and another on page eleven, where the mailman talks to others about Goom and they insist he needs a vacation. What does it all mean?

A petty crook named Freddy Sykes ambushes an old scrub woman in an office building and steals her purse, netting him fourteen dollars. A cop spots him leaving the building and Freddy hides among the crowd at Grand Central Station, where he overhears Mr. Jones say that he keeps his entire fortune in a locker that is one hundred percent safe! We may realize that "There is Something Strange About Mr. Jones!," but Freddy isn't that savvy, so he follows the man to the waterfront. Freddy holds Mr. Jones at gunpoint and demands to see his locker. Jones obliges, grabbing Freddy and jumping off the side of the pier. Jones pulls Freddy down and shows him where his fortune is hidden--in Davy Jones' Locker!

Heck is best when drawing sinister people and avoiding monsters, so this short tale works reasonably well, though the twist ending is hardly a surprise.

After taking over yet another country, the stinkin' commies work the locals hard. One of the old natives reveals that  a spaceship landed outside the village, so the greedy Red general demands to know more, thinking that capturing an alien ship will make him the greatest hero since Lenin. After using threats to get information, the general marches to the mountain outside the village, where he imagines what the aliens will look like. He reaches the top of the mountain and is angry that he sees no aliens, until the mountain itself launches into space, taking the general and his soldiers along for the ride.

There's little story in "What Lurks on the Mountain?," so Ditko has to find a way to fill five pages. The full page splash gives away the ending and page four features three panels that show what the general imagines the aliens look like, so Ditko gets to draw a dragon and two monsters. This makes two stories this month where a mountain blasts off into space!-Jack

Tales to Astonish #19

Cover by Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers

"Rommbu!" (a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers) ★★

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #7)

"The Thing with the Red Eyes" (a: Don Heck) ★★

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #7)

"The Terrible Trap!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★★1/2

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #7)

Being a brilliant geologist wasn't enough for John Hunter--he turned to a life of crime thinking the money was better. He's sentenced to life imprisonment and put on a train to the penitentiary, but the train trip is interrupted when a spaceship lands on the tracks and John escapes out a bathroom window. From the spaceship comes "Rommbu!," a big, red alien wearing tight shorts. As the big guy explains to a crowd of onlookers that he's a warrior from the Fourth Galaxy, whose inhabitants have chosen Earth as their next site of conquest, John scampers aboard the flying saucer to hide.

Rommbu demonstrates the awesome superiority of his weapons by pointing a ray gun at a pair of folks and shrinking them to twelve inches high. He announces that he'll return to the sky to await his fellow warriors and takes off into space! Rommbu soon senses John's presence aboard his ship and uses a Mind Prober to read John's mind and learn about his criminal past. The big red dude decides that John's lack of concern for his fellow humans will make him useful. Just then, American jet fighters attack Rommbu's ship in vain. He admits to John that, if Rommbu is defeated, the invasion will be called off.

When John learns that Rommbu needs to land somewhere to recharge his ship's batteries (how?), he recommends the deserted volcanic island of Watuna and the ship lands there, after blowing up a Polaris missile and lifting a submarine out of the water. John convinces Rommbu to land his ship right in the middle of a volcanic crater and, very soon, the volcano erupts, destroying Rommbu, his ship, and John Hunter. John's younger brother realizes that his sibling gave his life to save the people of Earth.

These giant alien/monster stories are definitely going in a different direction. No more do they appear and head straight for a large city where they can stomp around and do damage. It's interesting that John is killed at the end; usually, it seems like the main character finds a way to escape. I suppose he was allowed to sacrifice himself because he was a crook who had been sentenced to life in prison. I want to point out one more Kirby-ism in this story that seems to pop up frequently--the panel of floating heads in a crowd, usually featuring a selection of men's hats, eyeglasses, and facial hair to distinguish one person from another.

Back in the Roaring Twenties, Vince Kane was in charge of the Yellow Spider Gang. He doesn't care for Al Rocco, who is trying to take over the gang, so when he passes a store window and sees a pincushion doll that resembles Al, he buys it and shows it off the next time the gang gets together. To Vince's surprise, every time he sticks a pin in the doll, Al winces. A quick bit of research at the public library convinces Kane that the doll is some sort of voodoo thingy, so he goes to his office on the thirtieth floor and pulls the doll out of a drawer without turning on the lights. He drops the doll out of the window without looking at it and--surprise!--Al reveals that he's there, too, and that he switched the face on the doll so it resembles Vince. What will happen when it hits the ground?

The story's title is "The Thing With The Red Eyes," which refers to the voodoo doll. Where exactly can one find a store like this? I might bring my shopping list. Heck draws a pretty spooky doll, but what kind of an idiot is Vince not to look at the doll before he drops it out of the window?

Bart Magor is a proud, bald hunter who enjoys torturing animals. Universal Zoos, Inc., telephones and asks him to round up a new supply of wild beasts; just for fun, he brings along a little maze to watch a mouse struggle to find the exit. In Africa, Bart sets a trap and begins to collect wild animals, all the while watching the mouse run around in the maze. The next day, Bart is himself trapped by a pair of giant aliens who drop him in a maze and enjoy watching his futile efforts to escape "The Terrible Trap!"

Ditko really nails this one, especially his drawings of the animals and the aliens, who are both scary and fun. Bart refers to the rodent in his maze as a mouse but it sure looks like a rat to me.-Jack

Thursday...
Antonio Bay Celebrates
its Centennial!

And Next Week...
You'll Be Amazed at
These New Adventures!

The 100 Chapter 13: 74 & 73

 

Who doesn't love a list?

I devour the BFI Best Films of All Time list whenever they deem it necessary to revise and (invariably) disagree with most of the findings, but I still get a kick out of browsing. Same with Rolling Stone's inane Best 100 Albums (how does Sgt. Pepper drop from #1 to #24 in the latest incarnation?); the anger I feel subsides when I see they've put a couple of Aerosmith albums on the list! We all disagree with that number one but we keep right on scrolling through each choice.

This project, which has been percolating for quite a while, originated from the constant back and forth "good natured bickering" between John Scoleri and myself. John invariably loves everything and I hate it all (for more of the discourse, I advise one and all to pick up a copy of bare•bones print magazine and read our debates about streaming and movie theaters to get a taste). I began to think it would be fun to compose a Favorite (as opposed to Best) 100 and compare our selections. Making it even more tantalizing, I managed to talk the third head of Ghidorah, Jack Seabrook, into participating. This could be interesting, since John's never seen a movie the two Georges (Romero and Lucas) didn't have a hand in, and Jack usually favors the flicks that have words at the bottom of the screen (dis-moi que j'ai tort, Jack!). I, on the other hand, can't wait to educate these two gentlemen as to what constitutes good cinema.

Every Thursday, we'll count down our picks two at a time. We're hoping this will generate discourse outside of our trio. Let us know just how crazy we are. This is going to be fun!—Peter

White of the Eye (1987) 

Starring: David Keith, Cathy Moriarty, Art Evans

Directed by Donald Cammell

"Ah, Caryanne? Er, listen. I've got a marital problem."

Here's one that is very hard to put in a specific box. It starts out with a slasher movie cliche: the murder of a pretty girl done artsy style. It's a miracle I didn't turn this one off after that first murder scene but for some reason I prevailed and discovered a hidden gem, one I had not heard a thing about. I don't really remember how I came to see White of the Eye but I assume it was a VHS rental in '88.

The setting is Globe, Arizona, a sleepy mining town (I've been through Globe several times and can attest it is verrrry sleepy), where a nasty murder has the public up in arms and the cops without a clue. That is, until a laid back but very clever detective starts piecing clues together and comes up with local audio/video installer Paul White. Couldn't be Paul though since we've gotten to know him and his family. Nice guy. Hard worker. Has a tuning fork inside his head (and the scene where he demonstrates is a classic). Yeah, so he's having an affair with the wife of a rich businessman who's never at home... every guy in the 80s was stepping out, right?

Anyway, to make a long story short, Paul is in the crosshairs of the cops while trying to smooth things out with his wife (the affair becomes public knowledge thanks to the investigation). Poor Paul. It's about this time that director Cammell starts showing his cards and the weirdness starts escalating. I won't spoil the twist but the last thirty minutes is a gorgeous nightmare. Keith is fantastic as White, seemingly befuddled and cool as a cucumber at the same time. His character goes through several changes and he manages to keep up with every one of them. I wouldn't argue with anyone labeling this an "American Giallo." The mood shifts here are unlike just about any other horror flick. It's also got a score that is 50% awesome and 50% shit (the latter bits sound like drum machine noises lifted from a John Hughes flick), soundtrack by Nick Mason of Pink Floyd.

Back in '89 we came up with our Top Ten Flicks of the 1980s list and this landed smack dab at number one. I'm not sure what I was smoking at the time but there are two films I hold higher and we'll get to those soon. Still, this is about as good as a slasher flick gets. If you want to see this and don't want it spelled out for you (including the twist), avoid the trailer below.—Peter

Remarks from the Gallery:

Jack: I have never even heard of this one!

John: I recall you showing me this one (yes, it was on VHS), and while it was good, your buildup set my expectations way too high. It's worth watching, but even as you now admit, it wasn't the best horror film (let alone best film) of the '80s. 

Seven Samurai (1954) 

Starring: Toshiro Mifune, Takashi Shimura

Directed by Akira Kurosawa

"This baby... is me! This is exactly what happened to me!"

In late 16th century Japan, the people of a small village of peasant farmers hire seven samurai to protect them from roving bands of bandits who routinely steal their harvest. The samurai work for food and prepare the farmers for the battle of their lives.

Seven Samurai is one of the best action films I've ever seen. I just watched it again—all three and a half hours of it!—and it never drags. The direction by Kurosawa is incredible and I was really taken with his use of editing wipes to transition from scene to scene without slowing down the story.

Toshiro Mifune is great as Kikuchiyo, who isn't really a samurai but who is more enthusiastic about fighting than anyone else. Takashi Shimura is terrific as Kambei, the first samurai to agree to help the villagers; he becomes the leader and his quiet professionalism is what holds everything together. I recently saw Shimura in another Kurosawa film, Drunken Angel, and he's great there, too. The cast is perfect, the story is thrilling, and the direction is flawless. This should have been much higher on my list! Ah, the difficulties of ranking.—Jack

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: I'm sure there are movie fanatics out there who will call for my head and burn movie reels on my lawn (shades of "Pigeons from Hell"!) but I prefer The Magnificent Seven. I'm not saying I don't like Samurai but Magnificent tells a more compact tale and has some pretty cool stars. And if it makes you feel better, Jack, Magnificent is higher up on my list.

John: Of course Peter likes the Western take more than the subtitled Japanese version. I'm also a Samurai fan, but it didn't make my list, I'd probably have been more inclined to put Yojimbo ahead of it (I'm partial to Kurosawa with widescreen aspect ratio). But can you really go wrong when Kurosawa pairs with Mifune? 

Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn (1987) 

Starring: Bruce Campbell

Directed by Sam Raimi

"Groovy."

I caught Sam Raimi's Evil Dead on VHS after reading about it in Fangoria, and I loved it. Despite its low-budget trappings, it was ferocious, with a streak of dark humor, and it has a classic horror film ending. So when Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn was released in 1987, I was there on opening night—and I loved it even more. The slapstick humor was amped up but the horrific elements were still present. Just a load of fun at the hands of Raimi and his go-to shemp, Bruce Campbell. And the ending is brilliant, setting up the tonally different but still fun Army of Darkness. 

I picked this one for my list as it had the most significant impact on me, and I think it offers a perfect balance of horror and comedy. I'll recommend the first film to die hard horror fans, and the third to just about anyone, but this one I'll often take a chance on, since I think the humor makes it a little more accessible for those not quite ready for the original.—John

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: Yeah, I can groove with this one. Three Stooges Meet the Demons, right? I just rewatched ED2 a couple months ago as the result of having a teen stepdaughter who dug the new series and wanted to dip her feet into the "classics." It holds up thanks to all its goofy energy.

Jack: I actually saw Evil Dead when it came out, but I never saw the sequel.

Young Frankenstein (1974) 

Starring: Gene Wilder, Marty Feldman, Peter Boyle

Directed by Mel Brooks

"My grandfather's work... was doo-doo!"

Some will argue with my placement of Young Frankenstein over Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein... make no mistake, I love that one too... but Mel Brooks's loving tribute to the Universal horror movies is, minute for minute, the funnier of the two. Mel and Gene must have had their cast prep with all the Frankenstein flicks; all the bits are spot on. The music is perfect, the sets (including the original Frankenstein lab equipment built by Kenneth Strickfaden) are on the money, and eight out of ten of the jokes and sight gags land (and that's a really good percentage for a comedy), 

And, oh that cast: Wilder and Feldman have a natural chemistry (that would carry over into the underrated The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes' Smarter Brother the following year) that makes any scene between the two a riot; Madeline Kahn and Teri Garr are the bodice-busting heroines you always wanted to see in your black and white monster movies; Kenneth Mars does a better Atwill impersonation than Lionel himself; Cloris Leachman as the mysterious Frau Blücher (cue the neighing horses) escalates from sinister to uproarious with her violin playing and that final exclamation, "Yes... he was my... boyfriend!"; and who the hell knew Peter Boyle and Gene Hackman could be funny?

I saw this one about five or six times at the Almaden Twin on its first run. I just kept going back and, even at that young age of thirteen, I wondered how many of the folks in the audience really got it. Sure, the "knockers" joke always brought the roof down, but did anyone around me know how the Inspector acquired that wooden arm?—Peter

Remarks from the Gallery:

Jack: I love this movie and it’s much higher up on my list!

John: This is one of my all-time favorite comedies, and boy does it hold up to repeat viewings. My question isn't why is it higher than A&C Meet Frankenstein—it's how can you be talking about it already??? Damn your eyes!

Mary Poppins (1964)

Starring: Julie Andrews, Dick Van Dyke

Directed by Robert Stevenson

"I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."

"What's the name of his other leg?"

Things are in a bit of an uproar at the Banks house in 1910 London. The children have run away again and the nanny quits. Mrs. Banks is an avowed suffragette, too busy with marches and protests to take care of her daughter and her son, and Mr. Banks is too busy in his job as a bank executive. Onto the scene comes Mary Poppins, the perfect nanny who, with her friend Bert, turns everyone's lives upside down for a while and teaches Mr. Banks a lesson about the importance of balancing work and home life.

That's a quick outline of the plot of Mary Poppins, but it's the actors, the photography and special effects, and especially the songs that make it so memorable. The film made Julie Andrews a star, and rightly so, and Dick Van Dyke is astoundingly good as Bert, among whose jobs is that of chimney sweep. The extended song and dance number on the rooftops, where the sweeps leap from chimney to chimney, is breathtaking, and the movie's songs will forever be stuck in my head. Even the minor cast members are memorable, from Elsa Lanchester as the first nanny to Ed Wynn as the uncle whose laughter causes him to float into the air. There may be a few spots where it drags--the visit to the animated world and the tea party--but overall, it's a heartwarming, fun experience that will leave you humming.

Oh, and I'd bet this is the first and last time that Mary Poppins and Hellraiser will be discussed in the same post!—Jack

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: Well, fersure, it's the last time I'll discuss either movie. I saw Mary Poppins as a youngster during one of its many re-releases. This one never clicked with me; too many songs perhaps. But that Julie Andrews was pretty hot.

John: It's a solid film, to be sure, but the Julie Andrews film that flirted with my list (and still didn't make the final cut) was the Robert Wise classic, The Sound of Music. 

Hellraiser (1987) 

Starring: Doug Bradley, Ashley Laurence

Directed by Clive Barker

"We have such sights to show you."

Clive Barker's three Books of Blood volumes (with the horribly garish Halloween mask-like covers) were the first things I bought with my employee discount after I started my first job at K-Mart, and I became an instant fan. When I read there was going to be a sneak preview of a horror film written and directed by Clive, I jumped at the chance to see it. And Hellraiser proved to be a breath of fresh air at a time when it seemed like all horror fans were being served up with any regularity was the latest installment of a slasher franchise, none of which did anything for me. This subversive film, however, blew me away. I couldn't wait to drag all of my friends out to see it when it opened, which at that point was still several months away.

I fell in love with Clive's bizarrely-designed Cenobites, the haunting Christopher Young score, and the lovely Ashley Laurence. Barker delivered something truly unique that built on his reputation as the future of horror. It's funny to think that the film went on to become a franchise of its own; unfortunately, none of which lived up to the promise of the original.—John

Remarks from the Gallery:

Peter: Hated this the first time I saw it together with the House Carfax crew at (I think) a sneak preview and never wasted my time re-watching. I loved Clive's Books of Blood so I was game but I was soooo disappointed. Sign me up for Rawhead Rex though.

Jack: It will surprise no one to read that I have never seen this.

Journey Into Strange Tales Issue 195: Atlas/Marvel Science Fiction & Fantasy Comics!

 

The Marvel/Atlas 
Horror Comics

Part 180

April 1961

by Peter Enfantino

and Jack Seabrook

Journey Into Mystery #67

Cover by Steve Ditko

"Gruto! The Creature from Nowhere!" (a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers) ★★

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #11)

"The Black Clock!" (a: Don Heck) ★1/2

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #12)

"The Last Voyage of Captain Kragg" (a: Steve Ditko) ★★

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #12)

Newspaper reporter Dan Mitchell has been told by his editor that his features (his articles not his face) lately stink and Dan needs a new angle or he's history at The Daily Bugle. Later that afternoon, he and his girlfriend Laura are out driving through the country when a UFO crashes right before their eyes!

Out of the ship comes "Gruto! The Creature from Nowhere!," but the huge, hulking behemoth seems a bit out of sorts. He tells Dan and Laura that he remembers nothing but his name. Thinking fast, Dan escorts Gruto to a hiding place, snaps his picture, and speeds back to his editor to inform him that a dangerous creature has just arrived on Earth, a monster that claims an invasion from the stars is eminent. The editor slaps the story on page one and Dan becomes a celebrity overnight.

The police head to where Dan has stashed Gruto to destroy the invader but the creature pleads its case and, miraculously, the authorities believe it. All the while, Laura tells Dan he should be ashamed of himself, but the reporter is dazzled by the limelight and will not listen. Laura tells Gruto that Dan will not stop until he is king of the world and even now he is trying to convince the government that the innocent giant is the apocalypse.

Heeding Laura's pleas, Gruto fires up his ship (using the handy dematerializer button to make it invisible) and heads off to space but, before he can clear the airspace, he is attacked by fighter jets. Gruto lands his vehicle and announces that the barrage of missiles has cleared his foggy brain and he can now remember his mission here on Earth. He was sent by his fellow Grutos to teach earthlings how to live forever, make peace with their neighbors, and possibly lay the groundwork for a baseball game that lasts less than four hours. Obviously, Earth is not ready for those secrets, so Gruto blasts off, never to be seen again. Dan is left pondering if Page 17 fashion is the place to be after Laura tells him to grab a hunk of highway.

While the execution and beats are all the same, a couple aspects of "Gruto!" are interesting; the monster is innocent and man is the villain and Dan gets dumped at the climax by a disgusted girlfriend. Stan's titles are getting wilder... "The Creature from Nowhere!" Soon we'll get "Squiddo, the Monster that was a Creature!" and the groundbreaking "I Was Me!" I love how Gruto can't remember anything but his name but can figure out the complicated controls in his ship. "Ah yes, the dematerializer! My greatest weapon!"

"The Black Clock!" is a dismissible fantasy about an ex-con who steals the titular antique and discovers he is quickly aging. There's no sense to this one so I won't try to make any of it. And yet... once again, Don Heck proves to be a much better penciler than Mr. Ellison gave him credit for. Space pilot Captain Kragg is a stinkin' yellow-bellied coward and, in the midst of a terrible space battle, he turns tail and deserts his men. He crash lands on a planet that resembles Earth in the 15th century and overhears a conversation concerning a man named Kumbus, who intends to sail the world to prove it isn't flat. Smelling a situation he can use to make himself a richer man, Kragg busts Kumbos upside the head and takes his place on board the ship. Problem is, this world is flat! You can tell that twist is on the horizon but it's still a fun read and Ditko does what he can with a bunch of talking heads.-Peter

Strange Tales #83

Cover by Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers

"From Out of the Black Pit Came... Grogg!" (a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers) ★★1/2

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #27)

"Masquerade Party" (a: Steve Ditko) ★1/2

(r: Chamber of Chills #16)

"The Menace of Shandu!" (a: Don Heck) ★

(r: Crypt of Shadows #17)

Just before he is executed as a freedom fighter by a firing squad of stinkin' red commies, Miklos Kozlov is given a reprieve. But what happens afterwards makes Kozlov wish a bullet had ended his misery! The Russian government wants Kozlov to oversee a series of underground nuclear tests, bombs that will soon be dropped on the filthy swine of America! Kozlov agrees... what choice does he have?

Once the Russkies get to the "remote Asian province" where the bombs will be tested, they are warned by the locals that a giant monster lives under the ice, a fire-breathing dragon known as... Grogg!!! The Russians ask Kozlov what he makes of the natives' warnings and he tells them the locals are all fools. "Let's see some mushroom clouds!" Sure enough, minutes after the first bomb goes off, a gigantic serpentine head raises itself from the melting ice. Grogg exists!

The monster goes on a rampage until one of the local tribal chiefs has a mano-a-mano with the beast, telling him they are a peaceful people and that the Russkies want only death and destruction. They should be destroyed! Grogg chases all the commies into a nearby cave while Kozlov hoofs it back to civilization (thanks to a handy smoke bomb he'd been carrying). In the long-ish climactic exposition, we learn that Kozlov knew that a race of dragons lived below the ice and he was banking on the creatures taking umbrage to the warmongering Russkies. Kozlov sighs and thanks Grogg for heading behind the iron curtain to put an end to tyranny.

A heck of a lot of fun, "Then Came... Grogzilla!" sets up a cool mythology and paves the way for Fin Fang Foom, king of all Marvel/Atlas dragons (coming in Strange Tales #89). After Grogg is gassed, the narrative turns toward Kozlov and his revelation, a twist I applaud. The Kirby/Ayers work is solid, especially the "flashback" scenes of multiple dragons attacking the Great Wall. Why in the world did we never get a savvy writer like Kurt Busiek (who has to be my favorite comics writer of the 1990s) or Peter David to pen a saga about why all these monsters are clad in swimming trunks despite the fact that they've been buried underneath the earth (or ice) for hundreds of years?

Heartless and filthy rich, Cara Frost (get it?-cold heart=frost!) seeks to destroy anyone who ever had a negative thing to say about her and that includes Alice Dodd, who just married Rex Bond, a guy that Cara never really cared much about, but that's not the point, is it? It's like they never asked her permission before wedding. Well, Cara will show the Bonds a thing or two; she crashes their "Masquerade Party" but on her way to disruption she falls in love with a man dressed in a devil's costume. Too late, she discovers it's not a costume! But don't worry, all you Wertham apologists, a last panel reveal shows that the devil was actually a disguised Rex Bond! Groan.

Teenager Tommy Jones walks into a bookshop looking for a good read and finds an old book of magic spells. What the heck, thinks the moppet, and after buying the book he heads to a quiet part of the forest and tries out a spell to conjure up a genie. Sure enough, Tommy soon faces "The Menace of Shandu!" The giant genie gives Tommy one wish but adds the proviso that, once the wish has been granted, the kid must die. How does Tommy get out of this one? Very easily.-Peter

Tales of Suspense #16

Cover by Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers

"The Thing Called Metallo!" (a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers) ★★★

(r: Where Monsters Dwell #26)

"Nightmare!" (a: Don Heck) ★ 1/2

"The Hands of Hogarr!" (a: Paul Reinman) ★

After escaping from prison, Mike Fallon sees a notice in the paper that inventors are looking for someone to volunteer to test a new metal suit that can withstand radiation from a nuclear explosion. Mike volunteers under a fake name and climbs into the large, metal suit of armor; he quickly learns to use the controls to make it walk.

After a week of practice, Mike is taken to a small atoll in the South Pacific, where he is left alone. An atomic bomb is set off, but the scientists miscalculated its strength and the entire island sinks! Mike finds himself underwater and discovers that the suit is not only radiation proof, it is also water tight. He survives an attack by an octopus, which he kills with a blow from his metallic hand before he is rescued.

The next test involves Mike putting on the suit and being suspended by chains from a helicopter as another atomic bomb is detonated in midair! Once again coming through with flying colors, Mike decides that he will use the powerful suit to continue his life of crime. He refuses to come out and makes his way to San Francisco, where he robs a bank and christens himself with a fearsome new name--he is now "The Thing Called Metallo!" He moves on to Alcatraz, where he announces a plan to free the prisoners and create an army of convicts.

Suddenly, Mike begins to feel sick. He visits the infirmary and is told that he suffers from a disease that can only be cured by radiation therapy! Now Mike has a choice: take off the suit and return to being a nobody or keep the suit on and maintain his power. What will he choose?

This story brings up several interesting points. First, I noticed that Atlas authors are no longer using the pronoun "I" to title all of their stories--"I Was the This, That or the Other." It was especially noticeable this time because all of the captions feature narration in the second person: "You this and you that." Second, the scientists have enormous resources and power but are really stupid. Why would they not do even the least bit of a background check on the volunteer to try out their suit? The costs must be enormous, not to mention getting permission to blow up A-bombs willy nilly. 

Third, the art by Kirby and Ayers is as good as anything we'll see them draw in the Marvel super-hero comics in the next several years. Finally, the writers have come up with just about all they need to launch the Marvel line--big villains, radiation, etc. All that's missing are heroes changed by radiation who are willing to battle the villains.

John Larson tells his rich friend, Dunstan Kromm, about recurring nightmares. Kromm scoffs and Larson leaves in a huff, driving too fast and suffering a fatal car crash. Dunstan is consumed with guilt and collapses, only to wake up and find that John has just arrived at his house. Soon enough, the visitor once again begins to recite his "Nightmare!"

Slick artwork by Don Heck doesn't disguise the fact that this circular tale has been told too many times to remain surprising or even interesting.

After robbing and killing a diamond merchant in a large European city, Carl Gruko visits an old gypsy man named Hogarr, who is said to have the power to change a person's face with his hands. "The Hands of Hogarr!" do their work and Carl gets a new face, but when he returns to the village he is immediately accosted by an Interpol agent. Running away, Carl is fatally trampled by a horse, not realizing that he is now a double for the agent, who saw the resemblance and was intrigued.

What a stinker! The Paul Reinman stories tend to be the weakest and they're relegated to the back of the book. Too bad they weren't discarded entirely.-Jack

Tales to Astonish #18

Cover by Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers

"Gorgilla Strikes Again!" (a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers)

(r: Where Creatures Roam #5) ★ 1/2

"Monsteroso!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★ 1/2

"Robot on the Rampage!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★ 1/2

(r: Marvel Super-Heroes #31)

Once Gorgilla recovers from his fight with the T-Rex (Tales to Astonish #12), the big furry guy decides that he likes human companionship, so he sneaks aboard a cargo ship and hides in its hold until it reaches New York harbor. When it emerges, the sailors freak out, so Gorgilla dives overboard and swims into the sewers beneath the city to ponder how he can make his good intentions known. Only Scotty, the scientist who first discovered him, realizes that Gorgilla is actually a teddy bear, but no one is ready to listen.

Meanwhile a trio of stinkin' commies decide that this is a great moment to strike a blow against capitalistic imperialism. Gorgilla emerges in the middle of the field at Yankee Stadium (back when the team was actually good) and evades capture before wisely returning to his underground safe space. The commies are nearby, waiting to blow up a subway tunnel at the moment an African dignitary passes by above. Gorgilla senses that the commies are up to no good and foils their plot! He chases one of the bad guys to the statute of liberty and climbs to the top, where he is blasted off the side by a bazooka wielded by the NYPD. Gorgilla falls to his death, clutching the commie spy in one paw. This proves that the big ape had good intentions, and everyone realizes that Scotty was right all along.

On the splash page of "Gorgilla Strikes Again!" the author writes, "In the October issue of Tales to Astonish, we gave you the story of Gorgilla! Since then, you've asked for--begged for--demanded further adventures of the amazing creature!" I think this may be stretching the point ever so slightly. In reality, I suspect the mailroom at Atlas received one letter in crayon that said something like, "Hey! I like King Kong too! How about finishing the story?" So they did. Like Kong, Gorgilla sails to NYC and meets his fate after climbing a tall structure. This is one of the worst stories I've read in an Atlas comic in some time, and it doesn't help that Kirby's giant ape doesn't look very apelike.

A big, furry creature called "Monsteroso!" hatches from an egg and rapidly grows to enormous proportions, thinking himself master of all things. He stomps around, feeling very proud of himself, until it begins to rain and he realizes he'll drown in a flood. But wait! He's really a tiny speck in a Petri dish being rinsed off by a scientist.

How many times will we have to suffer this same twist ending! Something that seems really big is actually really small. At least Ditko can draw a big, furry monster. God forbid this story had been assigned to Don Heck!

In the near future, at a lonely lighthouse, there's a "Robot on the Rampage!" To strike the first blow in a robot rebellion against humans, this bucket of bolts wants to shut off the light at the top of the lighthouse to make ships crash. The old lighthouse keeper manages to shove the robot outside and lock the door, but soon both keeper and robot realize that the old man can't stay inside indefinitely without food or water. Eventually, the man comes out, just as the robot rusts solid from the damp, salty air.

Two Ditko stories in one issue would be a cause for celebration if the stories were any good. Sadly, they're not.-Jack

This Thursday...
Walk This Way!

And Next Monday...
Get Ready for
the First Magneto!!!