The Warren Report Issue 30: May-July 1971

The Critical Guide to 

the Warren Illustrated Magazines

1964-1983

by Uncle Jack

& Cousin Peter

Gogos

Creepy #39 (May 1971)

"Where Satan Dwells ..." ★1/2
Story by Al Hewetson
Art by Sal Trapani

"COD--Collect on Death!" ★★
Story by Dave Wood
Art by Dave Cockrum

"The Water World!" ★★1/2
Story by Buddy Saunders
Art by Pablo Marcos

"Death of the Wizard" ★★★
Story and Art by Pat Boyette

"Harvest of Horror!" ★★
Story by Phil Seuling
Art by Frank Brunner

"The Dragon-Prow!" ★
Story by Steve Skeates
Art by Richard Bassford

"Mad Jack's Girl" ★★★1/2
Story & Art by Gary Kaufman

"Where Satan Dwells ..."

Uncle Creepy has become bored of the material found in the pages of his own magazine (and, I must say, I concur) and decides to take a short vacation, but what does a creepy guy like our Uncle do on his downtime? He meanders (like this story) through the streets until he comes across a small bookshop he's never seen before. Inside, the proprietor asks Creepy what he's interested in reading. "Something new!" muses our horrible host. The shop owner tells him that he's got just the ticket and produces a tome entitled (sort of) "Where Satan Dwells!"

Within minutes, the Creep finds he's literally into the book, being interviewed by the lead character, Eric Shores, who is about to thrust a dagger into the heart of a comely maid. Eric beseeches Creepy to find his father and lift a curse that has been placed on Eric by a being known as Groton. After a short adventure wherein Uncle Creepy finds the lad's Pop and saves the day, the host finds himself lifted out of the pages and back in the little shop. As Creepy exits the store, the bookseller tears off his mask and reveals his true identity, that of Cousin Eerie! I don't mind these goofy horror host adventures now and then but I'm not sure, outside of the Vampi stories, Warren ever came up with anything on a par with the EC host-starrers. This is certainly not very good; it suffers from bad art and an unfocused plot that elicits the wrong kind of groans.

"The Water World!"

Only slightly better is Dave Wood's "C.O.D.--Collect on Death," wherein Joey Crane, a failed thief (armed robbery at an opera!), is given a second chance in life as a hit man after Death rescues him from a fatal bullet. The hitch is that Joey must murder one person a day for the rest of his life or that bullet hole will re-open. The Grim Reaper can be a mean son-of-a-gun. "C.O.D." has an interesting hook but doesn't really do much with it. The bright side is that Dave Cockrum is veering away from Amateur Street and easing into that stylist we'll all be celebrating a decade hence.

Three astronauts crash-land on "The Water World," a world seemingly devoid of land, and attempt to survive on a small raft with very little food and water. There's not much else to this SF/fantasy tale other than the requisite shock ending (which is really not all that bad) and the nice Marcos art. The intro and character interaction are obviously "inspired" by Planet of the Apes. This was Pablo's first American work and, of course, he would go on to have a long, celebrated career working on, among other things, Marvel's mid-'70s black-and-white line (Planet of the Apes, Tales of the Zombie, etc.). Marcos would contribute several times to a Warren zine over the next decade.

Pat Boyette is kind enough to donate more of his twisted, malformed, and diseased characters to a fantasy tale surrounding Merlin and his love for a demon-wench. The woman steals The Book of Knowledge from Merlin, leaving the wizard at the mercy of his justifiably-perturbed mentor, Breys. Merlin attempts to retrieve the book but is, instead, transformed into a huge tree, where he waits for the day "he will again be needed to serve Briton." Like some of Boyette's previous work, "Death of the Wizard" features some stunningly macabre art but a feather-weight script. It's all a bit confusing to someone who doesn't follow King Arthur.

"Harvest of Horror!"

Murderer Frank West is running from a posse, right into a field populated by a really creepy scarecrow. Frank runs and runs but never seems to get away from the stick figure. The next morning, farmers harvesting the field run over what they think is a man but turns out to be the scarecrow. Frank is now hanging from the post. No, wait... Frank gets a second ending where he actually just keeps running back and forth in that field, never getting anywhere, until the sheriff and his men come across him in the morning; poor Frank has lost his marbles. No, wait... evidently Frank gets hung on the post after all. Ah, the hell with it (literally). Three strikes and Frank is out. Frank Brunner, in his Warren full-length debut, does not disappoint with his atmospheric penciling and shading; that's one of the creepiest scarecrows you're ever going to lay eyes on. But... then there's the script laid on Frank's drawing board, stitched together by cliches (borrowing heavily from EC's multiple-ending gimmick) and just plain laziness (ending three is pert near identical to the first climax) by comic book convention maven Phil Seuling. Brunner will get another chance to shine very soon and he'll be working with a great script. Can't wait!

"Mad Jack's Girl"

And then didst mine eyes suffer most through the worstest Steve Skeates script ever devised. And then that script was called "The Dragon-Prow!" And it was about this Geat named Weohlac and didst he ever have a biggeth sword? And yes, you betcha. And then Weohlac was sent out of his village for daring to think (or something like that). And then was he cursed to slave upon the really big ship called The Dragon-Prow and he didn't like it too much. And then did he get in a fight with a really big Viking and drown. And then did he surface to find himself on his way back to Geat. And then did Steve Skeates attempt a really bad, verily overused "twist" ending in which we find that Weohlac actually drowned! I think I've reached the end of my frayed rope with these bad Warren fantasy tales.

Mad Jack and his boys split heads and break kneecaps, all in the name of fun, but Alice, "Mad Jack's Girl," has had enough. She makes Jack promise her he won't kill anyone but Jack and his boys break that promise and Alice gathers up the corpses for a tea party. When Jack arrives for a little sweetness, his gal adds him to the party. Bizarre and strangely new-wave (long before it became the rage), "Mad Jack’s Girl" might be best typified as Mod or British. Spare art, at times no more than half-figures or shadows, only enhances the uneasiness of the storyline. I'm not big on vague outcomes, but something about Alice's cozy little party and her insane ranting about the dormouse gives me chills.-Peter

Jack-"Mad Jack's Girl" was a nice surprise at the end of a mediocre issue of Creepy. I really like the sparse art and motorcycle-gang setting, but the ending was a disappointment. Boyette's "Death of a Wizard" is also not bad, with impressive art and a fair story. It bugged me that the book in "Where Satan Dwells ..." was called Where Dwells Satan (proofreading again!) and I thought "C.O.D.--Collect on Death" suffered from poor writing and amateurish art, though one panel with faces in a dream was nice. I'm surprised at how weak Cockrum was; he was a long way off from the X-Men!  "The Water-World!" is a fairly good story with okay art and an ending that came out of nowhere, while 'The Dragon-Prow" has oddly formal writing and art that tries to imitate Wally Wood but falls short. Saving the worst for last, Phil Seuling's "Harvest of Horror!" is a complete mess, helped only slightly by rough, early Brunner art. It is interesting to see these artists who would excel at Marvel in their early, rough stage.

Vallejo

Eerie #34 (July 1971)

"Parting is Such Sweet Horror"★★★★
Story & Art by Tom Sutton

"Eye of Cyclops!"★★★
Story by Buddy Saunders
Art by Jaime Brocal

"He Who Laughs Last... is Grotesque!"★★
Story by Al Hewetson
Art by Mike Royer

"Food for Thought"★
Story by Steve Skeates
Art by Bill Fraccio & Tony Tallarico

"The Vow of the Wizard..."★★
Story by Ernie Colon
Art by Ernie Colon & Frank McLaughlin

"The Sound of Wings"★★1/2
Story by F. Paul Wilson
Art by Carlos Garzon

"Lair of the Horned Man"★★1/2
Story & Art by Alan Weiss

"Parting is Such Sweet Horror"

Martin Borvo is terrified to enter Briarcliff, the house where he grew up with his twin brother, Fletcher, but his girlfriend Goldie insists that he conquer his fear, so in they go. Immediately, the walls and ceilings close in on them, creating a tunnel of sorts, and Martin and Goldie have to crawl forward to seek safety. As they proceed, we read their thoughts: Goldie (as in gold digger) just wants the millions Martin will inherit, while Martin admits that he murdered his own brother in this house! After crawling through lots of disgusting slime, they find brother Martin still alive, but now having taken the form of a creature that subsumes things that come in contact with him/it. Goldie tries to kill Fletcher with a sharp piece of wood but is absorbed by his blob-like form; Martin attacks Fletcher with an ax but Fletcher throws him up against a wall, where Martin is impaled on a series of spikes, doomed to remain with his twin brother forever.

Now, if "Parting is Such Sweet Horror" isn't exactly what this magazine is supposed to be all about, I don't know what is! It doesn't make a whole lot of sense if you try to understand how or why these things are happening, but Tom Sutton's art is fabulous and the story goes from one goofy/gross event to the next, ending with the woman being sucked into the blob and the man being impaled on a wall of spikes. Where did the spikes come from? Who cares? I think that, with this story, I have officially joined the club that appreciates this stuff.

"Eye of Cyclops!"

Boris Vallejo's cover is really sharp, by the way, and the masthead for this issue heralds Billy Graham as the new managing editor, replacing Archie Goodwin, who was listed as associate editor through last issue.

The giant Cyclops is terrorizing merchant vessels in Ancient Greece, but Nicanor and Periander have a plan to end the menace. They push boulders down on him from above but he captures them and puts them in a cage in his cave with other Greek sailors. Next morning, he selects Periander for his breakfast and the frightened man reveals that his fellows are cutting their way out of the cage. Nicanor escapes and throws a sharp spear in the giant's huge, single eye, thinking that he is blinding the descendant of the Cyclops that Ulysses once blinded. Unfortunately, this is the same Cyclops that Ulysses blinded and now he has a glass eye and a handy monkey on his shoulder to guide him!

"Eye of Cyclops!" is the first Warren story drawn by Jaime Brocal, a Spanish artist who had been drawing comics in Europe for over a decade as of 1971. His work here is excellent and both serves to tell the story in a clean, crisp fashion and to provide appealing visuals. His work on characters' faces is especially good. I was surprised and pleased by the ending as well, though it's a bit of a cheat to see a big squish when the spear hits the supposedly glass eye.

"He Who Laughs Last... is Grotesque!"

Baron Morag spends his time locked in his Scottish castle, counting his money, but when villagers arrive and break in, they burn him at the stake to punish him for keeping them in poverty. Morag awakens in Hell, where he waits in a long line of people from all times and places until he is checked in. Insisting that he must keep his dying vow to wreak vengeance on those who put him to death, Morag demands to see Satan. The Devil tells him to get lost and then chuckles with Uncle Creepy as they watch Morag create his own personal Hell by agonizing over how to keep his dying vow.

"Food for Thought"

"He Who Laughs Last... is Grotesque!" gets points for being goofy and Mike Royer's art is probably as good as it's ever going to get, which is only fair. He excels (as do so many Warren artists) at drawing scantily-clad beauties, though why Hell looks like such a fun place is beyond me. It seems to be populated with handsome men and beautiful women hanging out together. Sounds like a day at the Jersey Shore.

A spaceship loses power and drifts through space, so one of the three people aboard kills and eats the other two to survive. He soon finds a planet with lush, green vegetation but, not long after he eats some berries, he is himself eaten by a giant plant.

Leave it to Fraccio and Tallarico to deliver the nadir of the issue, at least so far. "Food for Thought" is another terrible story by Steve Skeates, who is not impressing me of late.

Compare with Vallejo's cover!
("The Vow of the Wizard...")

When a warrior named Thargovius takes a beautiful woman named Arella from a wizard named Kanhya Toth, it is "The Vow of the Wizard..." that Toth will someday retrieve the woman at the warrior's cost. Months later, a bored Thargovius hears that a wizard named Akeb-Kur is passing by with a caravan of riches. Knowing that Akeb-Kur hates Toth, Thargovius rides out to see him and is promised gold to kill Toth. Thargovius rides toward Toth and kills one horrible creature on the way. He is then attacked by a harpy, which he also slays. Finally reaching the wizard Toth, Thargovius learns to his dismay that the vow came true: the harpy was none other than Arella, transformed by the wizard.

I don't enjoy sword and sorcery stories and I don't much like Ernie Colon's art, so this one did not impress me much. It's a darn site better than the one that preceded it, though, and at least the plot makes sense. I did not see then end coming but wow, the scene in the story doesn't come close to matching the cover!

"The Sound of Wings"

In the desert, two explorers find the journal of John Asquith, who used black magic to summon Rankhet Morh, the winged god of the Sahara, to do away with the man who had stolen his daughter's heart. Unfortunately, the price for the man's death was that Asquith was supposed to kill his own daughter. He fled to the desert, a place where he could do her no harm, but soon heard "The Sound of Wings" above him, as the enormous winged god descended. The desert explorers dismiss the journal as the diary of a madman, unaware that they are standing in the footprint of a giant bird.

Nothing special about the story, but I like Carlos Garzon's photo-realistic art very much. It's unclear exactly what happens to Asquith, but the giant bird's footprint is a cool image and I tend to enjoy stories set in the desert.

Future star Pat Broderick contributes another drawing to the Eerie Fan Fare page before the final story, "Lair of the Horned Man." Indian chief Ronanka is intrigued when medicine man Taktana tells him of a beautiful maiden who has been seem roaming the mountain forests. Ronanka heads out to find her and, when he does, she is being menaced by a man-beast! Ronanka battles the creature and kills it; the woman, Laneeah, is grateful and says she'll heal him. Out of nowhere, Taktana, the medicine man appears, telling Ronanka that the man-beast was guarding a magic totem that Taktana now may use to create other man-beasts.

"Lair of the Horned Man"

Taktana transforms his daughter into a rattlesnake and then transforms another man into a man-lion, which attacks Ronanka. The chief defeats it but is shot by an arrow; Laneeah the rattlesnake gives a fatal bite to her father's ankle, allowing Ronanka to grab the magic totem, which makes everything go back to normal.

Alan Weiss writes and draws an entertainingly old-fashioned adventure story, leavened with some magic and horror to make it suitable for the pages of Eerie. The art is above-average and I'll take a story of Native Americans over more sword and sorcery any day of the week.-Jack

What the hell is going on in this mess?
("Parting is Such Sweet Horror")

Peter-This is one easily forgettable issue of Eerie, hopefully one of the last before we head uphill into the second Golden Age of Warren. Everything that could go wrong seems to have gone wrong with Tom Sutton this issue. The script is dreadful, the art crowded out by tedious words and typos (what exactly is a spinless man?), and Sutton seems confused as to which path to take us down. More boring barbarian/folklore/fantasy with "Eye of Cyclops!" (which does have a deee-lightfully disgusting final panel), "Lair of the Horned Man," and "The Vow of the Wizard..." If you're going to subject us to guys in loincloth, please have something original to say. Steve Skeates hits a ground ball right to first base yet again with "Food for Thought," but the script is secondary (in a bad way) to the Fraccarico Brothers' latest laugh-riot. Jack and I were befuddled when we became enamored with Jerry Grandenetti's art after deriding the guy for years, but I've got a feeling no such reappraisal is in the works for Fraccio and Tallarico.

A young F. Paul Wilson (in the first of two Warren contributions) was still a decade away from bestseller status, but "The Sound of Wings" has the makings of a good horror story buried deep in its bowels. Unfortunately, it doesn't emerge for more than a couple of dazzling panels before settling back into its Lovecraftian trappings. Carlos Garzon's art is much better than Wilson's script. "He Who Laughs Last..." is the only story this issue I can recommend. It's a funny satire that completely fooled me. Al Hewetson, who has led me down a predictable path several times before, seems to have been writing that story before coming up with a clever hook and delivering a delightful fantasy. You see, there's hope for everyone? Except the Frallarico Bros.

Sanjulian

Vampirella #12 (July 1971)

"Death's Dark Angel"★★★1/2
Story by Archie Goodwin
Art by Jose Gonzalez

"The Eye Of Ozirios"★★
Story by Gardner Fox
Art by Billy Graham

"Quest"★★1/2
Story & Art by Jeff Jones

"To Kill a God"★★★
Story and Art by Wally Wood

Vampirella spends the night sleeping in a graveyard, but her slumber is disturbed by a pair of grave robbers who break into the Wade family crypt. Inside lurks a winged demon named Skaar, who kills the grave robbers and overpowers Vampirella. Meanwhile, inside the Wade house, rich old Mr. Wade demonstrates what a creep he is by treating his doctor with contempt before he wanders out to the graveyard to chat with Skaar. Wade is terrified of dying and the arrival of the unusual woman from Drakulon gives him hope.

Adam and Conrad Van Helsing happen to be driving along a nearby highway and Wade orders the sheriff to pull them over and bring them in. Skaar has Vampirella chained up in the basement and Wade has smashed her vial of serum, so she is beginning to get very hungry for blood. Wade quizzes the Van Helsings about vampire lore and confirms that a bite from one of the fanged folk will make him immortal. Just what he wanted! Vampirella refuses to comply with Wade's wishes, so he locks the Van Helsings in with her, planning to wait till her hunger grows overpowering.

"Death's Dark Angel"

To pass the time, Vampirella has a chat with Adam and explains about Drakulon, the serum, and his brother, further ensuring his devotion to the scantily-clad hottie. She frees herself from her bonds and manages to resist the temptation to put the bite on her (sort of) beau, when blind Conrad tries to attack her with a stake. Just then, the sheriff opens the door and the old man accidentally stakes him rather than the vampiress. Adam and Conrad set off on foot, stalked by Skaar (at Wade's command), while Wade tries his best to get Vampi to put the bite on him. She gives in and kills him, which immediately causes Skaar to leave the Van Helsings alone and fly to the old man's side.

It turns out Skaar could only be released when he finds a soul blacker than his own to replace him. Now that Wade is dead, "Death's Dark Angel" will take his soul and be free. Oh, and by the way, before he was a demon, Skaar was Wade's father! Vampirella turns into a bat and flies off until her next thrilling adventure.

Amazonia's shirt just wasn't built for battle.
("The Eye of Ozirios")

What an enjoyable story! I love the continuing characters and the way they interact with new people each issue. Skaar is interesting--a demon who doesn't seem to be all bad, kind of like Vampirella. Wade is a one-note, evil old man of the sort we've seen many times before, but having the graveyard, house, and cellar (dungeon?) all conveniently located right next to each other allows for some entertaining drama and shifts of scene. I like Jose Gonzalez's art, just not as much as I liked Tom Sutton's. He does draw a great winged demon, though.

Throkklon the Terrible lives in Castle Grimkrag and is one bad dude, robbing travelers who pass by on the road, killing the men and enslaving the women. Amazonia, Queen of Karkassone, has had enough! Grabbing her magic sword, Excalifer, she rides to Grimkrag and starts swinging that sword so hard that her shirt falls off. She is overwhelmed by sheer numbers and Throkklon ties her to a burning stake. Fortunately, she wriggles free and thrusts her sword into "The Eye of Ozirios," causing Throkklon and his men to disintegrate.

Hoo boy, when I see names like "Throkklon" and "Grimkrag," I know it's going to be a chore to plod through another of Gardner Fox's sword and sorcery epics. Billy Graham's usual nice art makes it less difficult, though the hilarity of Amazonia fighting so hard that her shirt falls off makes it hard to take her bloody battle seriously.

"Quest"

A young Indian brave is on a "Quest" for a woman, the only other survivor after his village was destroyed. Meanwhile, a nubile woman's forest frolic is interrupted by an attack by a hairy man, whom she kills with his own knife. She escapes the man's companions by grabbing onto a woolly elephant, while the Indian continues to track her. Eventually, she is menaced by a saber-toothed tiger just as the Indian brave catches up with her. He throws his spear but--surprise!--kills her, not the tiger. It turns out she was a changeling that had killed everyone else in his village.

Jeff Jones's art is interesting mainly for his use of shadows and the way he suggests rather than shows, allowing the brain to fill in what the eye can't necessarily make out. His prose is nothing special and the time and place of the story are confusing--there is a Native American, a blonde woman, a woolly mammoth and a saber-toothed tiger. This is not what I'd call "sequential art," where words and pictures work together to tell a story and one cannot understand the tale without both items. These, instead, are pictures with captions; the only time the pictures add to the words is in the last panel, where we see the dead girl transformed into some sort of Pterodactyl. I think.

As soon as he arrives in Egypt, the new Roman military governor falls hard for a gorgeous Egyptian princess but finds that it is necessary "To Kill a God!" to win her for his own. She tries to give herself to a priest of Anubis, but the Roman kills the priest. The princess then gives herself to Anubis himself and they fly off on a Sphinx to the land of the dead. The Roman follows, armed with a magical bow and arrow, and succeeds in killing Anubis after a pitched battle. Sadly, Anubis bit both the Roman and the princess and they find themselves turning into werewolves. With nowhere else to go, Marc Antony and Cleopatra sail to the Balkans and settle in what would later be called Transylvania.

In an issue with no shortage of beautiful women, leave it to Wally Wood to draw the most stunning. The censorship we saw only a couple of issues ago that required breasts to be covered chastely by flowing hair has been thrown out the window, and Cleopatra prances around as topless as a Playboy Playmate. Wood has always been great at drawing Roman soldiers and gorgeous women, and he excels here. The story is only fair, and the end a bit of an afterthought, but oh, that art! The entire issue may well have the best art we've seen since the early days at Warren.-Jack

Peter-Before we continue, we should note the striking cover by Sanjulian, an artist who will define the next decade of Vampi. "Death's Dark Angel" is a mixed bag, with Vampirella yet again becoming a supporting character in her own strip. The one important piece of mythology we learn this issue is that Vampi's bite is not infectious. I thought the scene where Van Helsing Sr. thrusts a stake at our girl and hits the crooked sheriff instead must have been some kind of slapstick wink on Archie's part. I love Tom Sutton's work, but artist Jose Gonzalez definitely has what it takes to lift this strip to a higher plane. Is it just me or do his crooked cops look like they were drawn by Mort Drucker?

I'm grateful to Gardner Fox for writing lots of naked boobs into his script for "The Eye of Ozirios," but would it be asking too much for ol' Gar to make some sense out of said script? I sure can't. Barbarian queen sword John Carradine big eye pulpety pulpety pulpety. I'll give "Ozirios" two heaving, sweaty, luscious, globular stars for Billy's fine art. I think, for the most part, Jeff Jones succeeds in both art and script departments with "Quest," a very odd experiment that seems more suited for an underground comic than for a "mainstream" publisher. I like Jones's purposely vague narrative, with no explanation given for its final reveal. Call me a heretic but I think Wally's work on "To Kill a God" is his best since the EC days. The only problem is that half of the gorgeous graphics are hidden by lots of dull words. So, visually this issue gets an A, but the overall prose grade has to be a light C.

Next Week...
The War is Winding Down