The Hitchcock Project-Henry Slesar Part Fourteen: "Pen Pal" [6.6]

by Jack Seabrook

Henry Slesar's contributions to the sixth season of Alfred Hitchcock Presents began with "Pen Pal," which was based on the story of the same name that had been published in the December 1957 issue of Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine.

"Pen Pal" begins as 53 year old spinster Margaret Lowen receives a visitor, Lt. Berger from the Eighth Precinct. He is looking for her niece, Margie, who lives with her but is away for the weekend. Margie is 22 years old and has lived with her aunt since her parents were killed six years before. She has been conducting a relationship by mail with 28 year old Raoul Collins, who is serving a life sentence at the State Penitentiary for killing a man during a robbery 11 years before. Berger shows Margaret a photo of Margie that was found in Collins's cell and reads a love letter that she wrote to him. He tells Margaret that Collins led a jailbreak and escaped; he may come looking for money or a place to hide.

Katherine Squire

Berger warns Margaret and asks her to call him if Collins shows up at her home. He warns her not to call her niece and then leaves, after which Margaret goes upstairs and does her makeup before going grocery shopping. She returns home and takes a nap, then peers outside as evening comes on. While watching TV she hears a noise in the cellar. Collins has arrived! He comes up the stairs and they meet in the kitchen. He wants to get in touch with Margie and professes his love for her.

Pretending to telephone Margie, Margaret calls Lt. Berger. Collins realizes what she is doing and lunges at her; she bashes him over the head with a candlestick before falling to her knees in front of the now-unconscious killer, calling him "My darling"! The police come and take him away; after they have left, Margaret tears up the photo of her niece that Berger had brought and sits down to write a letter. Pretending to be Margie, she writes to Collins to say that she is glad he is back in prison so that they can continue to exchange letters.

"Pen Pal" is an outstanding story with a shattering twist ending that seems to come out of nowhere and puts everything that happened before it in a new light. Reviewing the story again with the knowledge that Margaret has been pretending to be her young and pretty niece Margie, one finds clues sprinkled throughout: when Margaret learns that Collins has escaped and may be on his way to her house, she does her makeup and goes grocery shopping, making herself look presentable and stocking the house with food for what will surely be a famished guest. Yet when the reality of the situation becomes unavoidable, she takes action to send her unknowing suitor back to the safety of prison, first calling the police and then conking him on the head with a candlestick.

Clu Gulager

The description of the candlestick is illuminating: it is described as a "tarnished silver candlestick that had long ago lost its mate." Although there is no indication that Margaret was ever married, the candlestick represents her strength as an aging, single woman; she may be tarnished, and any hope at love may have disappeared years ago, but she is still able to summon the courage she needs to take action in a crisis and light the way toward a more positive future.

In several ways, "Pen Pal" is similar to "The Deadly Telephone," the story that served as the basis for the prior Slesar/Hitchcock adaptation, "Party Line." In both stories, a lonely, middle-aged woman sits alone in her house, waiting for an escaped criminal to arrive. Each man enters through the cellar (the subconscious level or that which lies below the surface) and comes up the stairs to the kitchen (traditionally, the woman's domain) before threatening the woman. In "The Deadly Telephone," the woman presumably is killed, while in "Pen Pal," she defends herself successfully.

"Pen Pal" also features themes of role playing, transference and doubling. Margaret plays the role of Margie when she corresponds with Collins, but when she meets him in person she must switch gears and play the role of Margie's concerned aunt, pretending not to know the man with whom she is secretly in love. She transfers her feelings for him onto her niece, and she transfers her concern for herself and their future onto the young girl as well. Finally, Margaret and Margie are mirror images of each other, living together in the same house and sharing the same name.

Stanley Adams

One question that cannot be answered is whether Margie is real or whether she is a product of Margaret's imagination. When Lt. Berger comes to the house, it is clear that he does not know anything about Margie beyond what he read in the letters Margaret wrote to Collins; he says that they traced Margie to this address through the Pen Pal club. Margaret claims not to know where Margie has gone for the weekend, beyond a vague notion that she is visiting friends. Collins has never seen her or spoken to her; he only has a snapshot of her that was sent by Margaret, and the snapshot could be of anyone.

The question of Margie's existence becomes more acute in the first television adaptation of "Pen Pal," which was broadcast on November 1, 1960, on Alfred Hitchcock Presents. For the sixth season, the program had moved from Sunday nights on CBS, where it had been shown for its five years, to Tuesday nights on NBC, where it immediately preceded the new hour-long series hosted by Boris Karloff, Thriller ("The Watcher" followed "Pen Pal").

Unfortunately, "Pen Pal" is an episode that is more interesting to discuss than it is to watch. It is hobbled by uninspired direction by John Brahm and by a weak performance by Katherine Squire as Margaret. Unlike the house in the story, which had a basement and a second floor, the house on TV is a tiny ranch, with all of the rooms on the same level. Much of the show takes place in the front parlor; there is also an extended scene in the kitchen and a key event occurs in Margaret's bedroom, which is visible just off the parlor. When Collins (his first name has been changed from Raoul to Rod) breaks into the house, he comes in through Margaret's bedroom window rather than through a cellar window, perhaps symbolizing a more direct assault on her maidenhood rather than her subconscious.

The snapshot of "Margie" (Gloria Ellis)

The small house and the three sparse rooms lead the viewer to wonder if Margie really exists. Margaret tells both Lt. Berger and Collins that Margie lives there with her, but where? Does she sleep on the couch at age 22? There are no decorations that suggest the presence of a young woman, and the TV show strongly suggests that Margie is a creation of the lonely spinster. Unfortunately, Squire's performance as Margaret fails to develop any of the emotion that the role demands, either on the surface or simmering underneath. Margaret should have a barely hidden tenderness for the man she loves, yet she is cold, her expression barely changing throughout the encounter. At one point, Collins calls her a "dried up old crab," and the description fits.

Brahm's direction does not help matters--the show is filled with dull shot/reverse shots, medium closeups, and barely any camera movement. In the long kitchen scene, Margaret is shot in closeup in front of a blank wall. The only time the show demonstrates a hint of atmosphere is near the end, when night has fallen and the lights are on in the parlor. In this scene there is a hint of evocative lighting, matched by a shot of Lt. Berger on the other end of the telephone, sitting at his desk with a desk lamp casting light on his face.

Worst of all is the scene in the kitchen, which should be tragic but is instead dull. As it ends, Collins grabs Margaret's arm and she puts her hand on his chest to hold him back in a twisted near-embrace that has different meanings to each of them. Hidden beneath their interaction is the implied threat of rape, far from the romantic fantasy Margaret has spun in her solitude.


The twist ending is slightly changed from the story--Margaret does not call Collins "darling" as he lies on the floor; instead, after the police leave, she sits at her desk and composes a letter, revealing for the first time to the viewer what has really been going on. She stares at a snapshot of Rod and exclaims, "My poor darling!" before collapsing on the desk in tears.

The teleplay is credited to Hilary Murray, who appears to have no other credits. Is Murray yet another pseudonym for Slesar? Can one assume that the two prior teleplays that were credited to Eli Jerome were actually written by Slesar because they resulted in good episodes, while this one is not because it is mediocre? Adding to the mystery is the fact that Hilary Murray's only other credit is for the teleplay of the remake of "Pen Pal," which was aired as part of season four of the 1980s color remake of Alfred Hitchcock Presents on October 15, 1988.

In a rare turnabout, the color remake is far superior to the black and white original. In this version, Margie, the niece, clearly exists, because we see her in the show's first and last scenes. The role of Margaret is played by Jean Simmons, who turns in an excellent performance, finding all of the emotional depth and complexity in the role that Katherine Squire missed. The story and both TV shows quote 19th-century English poet John Clare in the letter Margaret wrote to Collins:

          Language has not the power to speak what love indites
          The soul lies buried in the ink that writes.

Jean Simmons

In other words, words cannot express what is felt in the heart; the soul is in the writing, as is evident with Margaret, who cannot say what she can put down on paper.

In the remake, Simmons is too pretty and charming to be completely believable as a spinster, but her strong performance makes the episode succeed. Page Fletcher, as the convict (now renamed John Harris), looks like he escaped from a music video rather than from prison (he sports a mullet) but he, too, gives an emotionally satisfying performance. The direction, by Rene Bonniere, is much more lively than that of Brahm in the original, with the camera moving about and opening up the story. One key scene follows the action from the kitchen up to Margie's bedroom, where Margaret tenderly puts her hand on John in a gesture that is maternal on the surface but passionate underneath.

One other important change in this version is that John brandishes a revolver, and it is this gun that Margaret grabs from his rear waistband near the end when he threatens her. She shoots him--not fatally--rather than hitting him with a candlestick.

For the first time, I can recommend the 1980s remake over the original!

The story on which both shows were based was co-written by Henry Slesar and Jay Folb (1922-1997), who had also co-written the story, "A Night With the Boys." Director John Brahm (1893-1982) was at the helm of ten episodes of the half-hour Hitchcock series and five episodes of the hour series; his daughter maintains an interesting website about her father here.

Katherine Squire (1903-1995), who plays Margaret in the 1960 TV show, appeared on stage, in movies, and on TV for many years, including roles in five episodes of the Hitchcock series. Clu Gulager (1928- ) plays Collins in the black and white version, giving a better performance than Squires. This was one of three appearances for him on the Hitchcock series. He also had regular roles on two series: The Tall Man (1960-62) and The Virginian (1963-68). He is still acting at age 84 and has a website. Finally, making his only appearance on the Hitchcock series is Stanley Adams (1915-1977), who plays Lt. Berger. He is best known to classic TV fans for his key roles in "The Trouble With Tribbles" on Star Trek and "The Great Vegetable Rebellion" on Lost in Space.

Jean Simmons (1929-2010), so good as Margaret in the remake, was one of the great British actresses of the twentieth century, appearing in films from 1944 to 2009 and on TV from 1966 to 2003. She was unforgettable in roles such as Estella in Great Expectations (1944) and Sarah Brown in Guys and Dolls (1955). This was her only appearance on any of the Hitchcock series.

The 1960 TV show is not yet available on DVD, but Amazon recently announced that they will soon release season six on DVD, though it will be manufactured on demand, which will mean a price increase. The show may be viewed for free online here.

The 1988 remake may be viewed for free online here.

Sources:

"Galactic Central." Galactic Central. N.p., n.d. Web. 12 Oct. 2013.

Grams, Martin, and Patrik Wikstrom. The Alfred Hitchcock Presents Companion. Churchville, MD: OTR Pub., 2001. Print.

IMDb. IMDb.com, n.d. Web. 12 Oct. 2013.

"Pen Pal." Alfred Hitchcock Presents. CBS. 1 Nov. 1960. Television.

"Pen Pal." Alfred Hitchcock Presents. USA. 15 Oct. 1988. Television.

Slesar, Henry. "Pen Pal." Clean Crimes and Neat Murders: Alfred Hitchcock's Hand Picked Selection of Stories by Henry Slesar. New York: Avon, 1960. 22-29. Print.

Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation, n.d. Web. 12 Oct. 2013.

Do You Dare Enter? Part Twelve: February-March 1971

The DC Mystery Line 1968-1976

by Jack Seabrook,

John Scoleri,

& Peter Enfantino

Neal Adams

The House of Mystery 190 (February 1971)

"Fright!"
Story by uncredited
Art by Alex Toth

"A Witch Must Die!"
Story by Jack Miller
Art by Ric Estrada and Frank Giacoia

Peter: In 19th Century Bavaria, Gerald Rogers befriends Walter Heintze, a fellow student at Schmiedhausen University, and discovers that Walter has a yen for fencing. Gerald meets, and immediately falls for, Heintze's sister, Helga, but the girl refuses to give him the time of day until he gets himself some proper fencing scars. He convinces Walter to recommend him to the school's fencing fraternity and learns that to become one of the brothers he must spend the night in "the house of mystery." Overhearing plans for making his stay a little frightening, Walter girds himself and makes light of the various ghouls and ghosts that arrive during the night. It's only the next morning, when the brothers have come to see how he managed, that Gerald discovers he's stayed at the wrong house. A nice twisty climax and the typically stylish art of Alex Toth save what could have been a disaster. There's nothing wrong with a non-linear narrative if the reader knows what's going on. Here it's very confusing. Still, a passing grade for its plusses.

Jack: What can we say about Alex Toth that we haven't said already? I never liked his super-hero comics in the '70s but I love his horror work. The twist ending surprised me--I did not expect our hero to have been in the wrong house!

John: Maybe it's a generation gap, but I just don't understand the love for Toth's art in these tales. Fortunately, we get a palette cleansing thanks to a triple-dose of Sergio Aragonés, who adds 'Cain's Gargoyles' to his repertoire.

Peter: In 16th Century Salem, the family of Jacob Walden must flee far into the woods when his wife, Ruth, is accused of being a witch. It's all the work of an evil neighbor whose husband has become smitten with Ruth but she's worked the entire village into a lather and the poor Walden family hightails it. Once in the woods, they meet a giant Indian tribal leader who claims the land is hallowed ground and threatens them if they don't leave. Jacob sniffs and stands his ground and the Indian has no choice but to fell a tree in the family's direction. Ruth's having none of this and bolts flying from her hands cause the tree to crush the Indian. Her family looks on in shock. A bit abrupt and the shock wasn't really too hard to figure out (I thought at one point the real witch might be Ruth's daughter, Hester) but the story's not bad, just chock full of very large holes. With the reveal, the big question becomes: did Ruth actually spin a spell on Esau? And why? If she was a super-powered witch, as opposed to one of those "eye of newt" cauldron loiterers shown in The Witching Hour, why didn't she get her family out of this jam? I love the very 16th century dialogue coming out of Jacob's mouth when he meets up with the Indian: "Wha-at? Don't make me laugh! You crazy old redskin!" The art is awful in that 1960s DC style that I'll never cotton to. Estrada would be perfect on a Lois Lane title, I'm sure.

Jack: That's one heck of a kite that resembles a witch on her broomstick! I marvel at Jennifer's string control. I was never a fan of Ric Estrada's work. I remember him from Richard Dragon, Kung Fu Fighter in the '70s. However, a little research reveals that he had a long career drawing war and romance comics--he even drew for some EC titles in the early '50s! Still, his art seems wooden to me.

John: While HOM has normally been one of the more reliable books, neither of this issue's main tales left much of an impression on me.

The 16th Century's greatest kite or stupidest villagers?

Neal Adams

The House of Secrets 90 (March 1971)

"The Distant Dome"
Story by Steve Skeates
Art by George Tuska

"The Symbionts"
Story by Marv Wolfman
Art by Rich Buckler and Neal Adams

"Jedediah!"
Story by Mike Friedrich
Art by Gray Morrow

John: Before we even start, can I say what a cool cover this is by Neal Adams? I do think it works better in the b&w Showcase volume than with green Hulk arms.

Aqualad and Janet Pym
decide to bust out!

Peter: In the "distant future," mankind must live in domes or be killed by the "monster" which roams outside. Long before, contact had been shut down between domes so no one knows who's still alive. Two precocious teenagers, Thomm and Kathy, decide to escape their dome and find out what lies outside. They find a world destroyed by pollution (the "monster" their grandmother warned them about) but the duo decide to travel from dome to dome until they find more survivors. I'll reserve judgement on this story until I read the second part. What do you mean, there's no second part? There has to be, as this thing ends right in the middle of a scene. Steve Skeates (ever the eccentric) decides there's no reason to let us in on the reason our pair are dressed like superheroes and George Tuska... well, never mind.

Jack: They should have called this issue "House of Science Fiction Secrets." The first story reminds me of Logan's Run. I know the movie wasn't out yet but the book came out in 1967. The pollution monster idea is heavy-handed and why is the young hero dressed like Aquaman?

John: I recently read Logan's Run and was disappointed with it. That said, I would heartily recommend it over this story...

Buckler and Adams make a dyn-o-mite team!

Peter: In yet another distant future, convict Larry Herndon has been serving his sentence on a prison planet with only his computer, Laura, as a companion. On the day his sentence ends, he's to be picked up by rocket ship but discovers a nasty secret: his constant companion has fallen in love with him and will do anything to keep him imprisoned. Larry fights back but Laura is too strong and she drives the rescue party away, but not before they leave an incoming prisoner, a beautiful babe. When the girl enters the building she's greeted by the computer, now calling itself Larry. What a stupid climax to "The Sybionts." Marv Wolfman had me right up to the punchline and then he lays one of those dopey "the protagonist becomes part of the evil being" cliche eggs on his readers. How did Larry become the machine? I don't know. He just did. Wolfman revisits his early days on the DC mystery line by giving us nonsense disguised as cleverness. You can see why Rich Buckler succeeded Neal Adams on Marvel's The Avengers as their styles are so similar (too similar if you ask Jack).

In the far future, female computers will wear lipstick.

Jack: I was surprised to see Rich Buckler inked by Neal Adams. Buckler was accused of swiping from Adams so I did not realize they ever worked on the same strip. Some of the panels look to be all Adams but I can really see Buckler in others. The story is a dud.

Just two guys hangin' out

Peter: "Jedediah" Jones is on a mission for the Lord: he has to free Post-Omega II of all its fornicating, drinking, and general debauchery. To this end, he is teleported to Post-Omega II where he meets up with leader Paul Tarsus, who tells Jed that his citizens no longer fear death, experience greed, or watch Duck Dynasty, as they've discovered an element called Char-Ite (Charity, get it?) which keeps them calm and relaxed at all times. Wanting to get to the bottom of this situation, Jed busts his way into a Char-Ite mine and is buried under tons of rubble. He's fished out by Paul and admits he expected to be dead. Paul chuckles and tells him he is dead. So is everybody else on Post-Omega II.

Jack: Gray Morrow's art is cool but it made me think of the Spirograph toys we all had as kids, where you put the pen in the little hole and go around and around, making groovy designs. This story is a dud, too--how many times can we be surprised to learn that characters are dead?

John: I'd take Gray Morrow's Spirograph art over most everything else contributed this month—across all the Mystery titles...

Peter: That experimental art by Morrow, once pretty cool, is beginning to wear out its welcome. I still find his "normal" stuff above-average but here's hoping he got over his pretensions soon after. As far as the "twist" ending goes, I'm a little confused. At what point did Jed die? Before the teleportation? That would make sense as he's being beamed up to "heaven" or some such. If he dies when the mine collapses (in heaven), then I have a few more questions for Mr. Friedrich.

The Unexpected 123 (March 1971)

"Death Watch!"
Story by Charles Williams (Carl Wessler)
Art by George Tuska

"Man in the Attic!"
Story by Carl Wessler
Art by Dick Dillin and Frank Giacoia

"Curse of the Sea Hag!"
Story by Cal Walker (Carl Wessler)
Art by Jerry Grandenetti

"Voice in the Night"
Story by Murray Boltinoff
Art by Rich Buckler

Jack: Charlie Miller's bad heart takes a lickin' but keeps on tickin' when treacherous employee Gil Darrow tries to scare him to death. Gil is tripped up during the "Death Watch!" when he asks lovely Leah to marry him and Charlie suddenly snaps out of his coma. This wretched story reminded me of the sketch decades ago on Saturday Night Live when John Belushi wakes from a coma right as his parents are about to pull the plug. The only good thing I can say about Tuska's art is that Leah is kinda cute.

"Man in the Attic!"

Peter: Even ghosts have buckteeth in George Tuska's warped world! While Charlie Miller is dying, does Gil really have that big grim on his face or is that just the way Tuska draws? I can't figure it out. With its goofball climax, this has to be front-runner for Worst Story of the Year!

Jack: Is "The Man in the Attic!" the strangler who has been terrorizing the city? Landlady Myrna Magloon has a crush on him but her elderly boarder, Lydia, finds him terrifying. Even more terrifying is the art on this tale by Dillin and Giacoia. Dillin is surely an acquired taste but Giacoia's inks look like they were applied with a trowel. I have to admit I did not see the twist ending coming. Peter, did you figure it out?

Peter: A truly dopey climax with a nonsensical reveal? Yep, Jack, I so saw it coming. You must have felt a bit of deja vu with that final "Here's what happened afterwards" tag-on a la Alfred Hitchcock Presents!

Jack: On the run from the cops, Jerry hides out on a ship, only to fall prey to the "Curse of the Sea Hag!" It turns out that pretty Roseann Mullen has been trapped on board due to past sins until someone more evil than she comes along. Surprise! In an UNEXPECTED twist, Jerry replaces her. Well, maybe not so unexpected.

Peter: Jerry Grandenetti's art, and this is truly Expected, is abysmal. Are these characters men? Women? Ugly? Human? Who knows?

John:  Might I suggest that they change the name of this title to EXPECTED. Of course, considering what I've come to expect in UNEXPECTED, I think I would have already dropped this title from my monthly reading.

"Voice in the Night!"

Jack: Tortured by a "Voice in the Night" after his wife dies in a car accident, Michael visits a shrink. Said shrink makes a house call, figures out that ventriloquist Michel is throwing his voice to imitate his dead wife, and has the poor guy locked up in the loony bin. At two pages this story is not much, but Rich Buckler's art is a welcome relief after what we've been subjected to this issue.

Peter: Whatever I have to say about this story will read as if I'm plagiarizing myself. Let me just say this: the entire print run of Unexpected #123 should have been pulped. The Direct Currents page tells us the editor on Unexpected is now Murray Boltinoff.

Jack: One of the great pleasures of doing this series is in discovering that I always liked a particular artist's work but never knew who it was. Nick Cardy, who drew so many DC covers, contributes another nice one to this issue. I now realize I always enjoyed Cardy's work without ever paying attention to his name.

Neal Adams

The Witching Hour 13 (March 1971)

"The Maze"
Story by Al Gold and Marv Wolfman
Art by Gray Morrow

"The Accursed Clay!"
Story by Jack Miller
Art by Jack Sparling and Frank Giacoia

"The Rush-Hour Ride of Abner Pringle!"
Story by Len Wein
Art by Jose Delbo

Jack: It's the Witching Hour on New Year's Eve, and Neal Adams comes through with a great cover and framing sequence!

John: Morrow breaks out the Spirograph for the second time this month, with perhaps even better results than in HOS.

Jack: Middle-aged slob Harold Beedle finds himself trapped in "The Maze," a futuristic dimension where a mysterious voice tells him he must keep walking to find the exit. Little does he know he's like a rat in an experiment being conducted by a couple of aliens. This story has been told many times before, but Gray Morrow's expressionistic art is great to look at.

"The Maze"

Peter: Maybe it's because I'm starved for quality this month, but I really liked this story and didn't see the twist coming (despite the fact that I've seen that particular slant before). Morrow's art and the experimental formatting of the pages (some of the narration appears unboxed at the bottom of the page) keep your eyes dancing here and there. Our alien couple, by the way, answer to the names of Spa Fon and Squa Tront, sound effects used by EC in their science fiction comics and later adopted as titles for a pair of fanzines devoted to the company.

Jack: "The Accursed Clay!" is what makes Arthur Delano famous, when he sculpts statues that are the spitting image of people who die soon after their images are molded in clay. Though Arthur resents his fatal power, he cannot resist the orders of the man who gave him the clay. Arthur thinks he turns the tables when he makes his last statue resemble the clay's donor, but the man drops dead and as he dies he reveals that to have been his plan all along. It seems the donor was an ancient sorcerer named Rokk who had been cursed to live until someone cast his image in a statue. I kid you not. In this issue's Direct Currents, it refers to the author of this story as the late Jack Miller. The online DC Archives message board relates some interesting tales about Miller, a long-time writer and editor at DC. It seems he was known for asking his creative talent for kickbacks. That's more interesting than "The Accursed Clay!"

"The Accursed Clay!"

Peter: Speaking of EC (and I always am), Al Feldstein and Jack Davis did a much better variation on this theme way back in Tales from the Crypt #26 (October-November 1951) called "Drawn and Quartered." Unfortunately, I have to comment on the DC version, rather than EC, and "The Accursed Clay!" is not very good at all. I find it a bit lazy that some of the DC Mystery Line writers end their stories without an explanation built within the narrative and then tack on an expository in a final word panel. I don't mind when a writer deliberately leaves the reader wondering what's just happened but I find it works better in a story filled with characters and events I care about.

Neal Adams should draw everything.

Jack: In the Neal Adams frame story, Cain and Abel are visiting the three witches. All of a sudden, in bursts the Mad, Mod Witch, a character we haven't seen since an early issue of The Unexpected. The way Neal Adams draws her, she might actually be worth bringing back, but other than the one panel, she is absent from this issue.

John: If I never see the Mad, Mod Witch again it will be too soon. Unless she's drawn by Adam Hughes, Frank Cho, Paul Renaud or Milo Manara... in which case I might make an exception.

Jack: "The Rush-Hour Ride of Abner Pringle!" is not one of Len Wein's finest moments, as a Revolutionary War partner of Paul Revere falls off his horse, dozes off, and wakes up in 1970. He rides to Concord and tries to warn everyone that the British are coming. The conclusion, where he falls back asleep and a line of British soldiers marches toward Concord, makes absolutely no sense. To make things even stranger, the issue wraps up with a one-page text story written by Egor, whose spelling leaves much to be desired.

Peter: I couldn't figure out what Wein was aiming for in his climax. Is he inferring that the British were invading America again in present time? On horseback? Is it an alternate DC world? A very silly waste of space.

Oh boy! A Nixon hand shadow!

Star-Spangled DC War Stories Part 12: May 1960

By Corporals Enfantino and Seabrook
(with an assist from Private Scoleri)

Joe Kubert

Our Army at War 94

"Target--Easy Company"
Story by Robert Kanigher
Art by Joe Kubert

"Test for a Snowbird!"
Story by Bob Haney
Art by Jerry Grandenetti

"The Last Commando!"
Story by Bob Haney
Art by Bob Forgione and Jack Abel

Jack: Tired of the Amerikaners' reputation for never being stopped, a Nazi general decides to "Target--Easy Company" and bombard Sgt. Rock and his men with everything he's got, ignoring other companies that make more appealing targets. The combat happy Joes of Easy Co. don't give up, not with Rock as their leader, and keep going until they frustrate the Nazis once and for all. The duel ends with a one on one gunfight between Rock and a Nazi sergeant. I don't know if Joe Kubert had the flu this month, but this is one of the most uninspired Sgt. Rock stories I've read so far. Even the cover is sub par for the great Mr. Kubert.

"Target--Easy Company"

Peter: Wow! I gotta disagree, Jack. I thought it was, for the most part, a very exciting tale. Rock's continued motivation to charge up a worthless piece of ground had me waving my fist in the air and screaming "Yeah, let's take this Heap!" Rock's counterpart, the very nasty "Herr General," may just be a close relative of Mademoiselle Marie's thorn, Commandant Von Ekt. The only weakness here is that rushed climax. Why would the Nazi general give up so quickly when he's got our heroes right out in the open like he wants them? One of his Ratzis gets killed and it's "Pull back!"?  And, at last, after months of my complaints, Robert Kanigher listened to me and provided some names for those uniformed shadows who fight alongside Rock. I'll continue to list names of the men of Easy as we get them. This issue we're introduced to Ed Ritchie, Nick Bates, and Mack Fenton. Now, let's see if any of these three grunts makes a return appearance.

"Test for a Snowbird!"

Jack: Pete Lang passes a real-life "Test for a Snowbird!" when he encounters a batch of Nazis on a ski slope after he does poorly in his training session. Lucky for Pete, he manages to ski like an expert and knock out the bad guys with his handy machine gun. This story is too short to get any real downhill momentum and Grandenetti's scratchy pencils don't help.

Peter: The skiing marksman sequence was a little too far-fetched for me. How do you stay balanced on skis with all the recoil inherent with a machine gun? It might make for a great fantasy scene in a James Bond film but this story, ostensibly, takes place in "the real world." I thought Grandenetti's cartoony style worked alright here. I just want to take a moment and thank Sgt. Rock for his public announcement about Mlle. Marie. I'd almost forgotten the French Doll.

"The Last Commando!"

Jack: "The Last Commando!" is the lone survivor of an American platoon who finds himself in the desert, hunted by Nazis. He manages to turn the tables on his captors with the help of some ancient weapons he finds uncovered during a sandstorm. Reaching ludicrous new heights, Bob Haney brings us a story where a soldier happens upon a crossbow, still cocked and in working order. If that's not bad enough, he then trips over an ancient chariot with a sword attached and he manages to roll the chariot down a hill toward the enemy and dispatch them with the sword!

Peter: What, no toga? The crack team of Haney, Abel, and Forgione do not disappoint. This one was so bad it's laughable. Hundreds of years have passed since the weapons were covered with sand and suddenly all three items are out in the open! There must have been a rule in Comics Code manual that read "Any death in a war comic must be signified by a helmet on the ground."

Ross Andru and Mike Esposito

Star Spangled War Stories 90

"Island of Armored Giants!"
Story by Robert Kanigher
Art by Ross Andru and Mike Esposito

"No Ammo for 'A' Company!"
Story by Bob Haney
Art by Jerry Grandenetti

"The Battle of the Sunken Village"
Story by Bob Haney
Art by Irv Novick

Peter: There's this island in the Pacific where American squadrons have been dropped off and never heard from again, so the Army decides to send six men (as the Question Mark Patrol) to get answers. What the men find is an "Island of Armored Giants," seemingly from the dawn of time. An earthquake fissure has thawed out a trio of frozen dinosaurs and the big guys are not in a good mood. As the mission becomes more dangerous and the squad is whittled down to a precious few, the question becomes: can modern weapons stop million year-old carnivores?  I knew we had to throw reality out the window from the get-go, not because of the dinosaurs but because of the scene where one of the soldiers is attacked by a pterodactyl and his parachute becomes entangled with that of a tank. Both soldier and tank hit the ocean with a big thud (remember they're being dropped from quite a ways up) but, thanks to a little military ingenuity, our young GI is just fine. That's all the negative I'll say about "Island of Armored Giants," as it's pretty much bulletproof isn't it? The story was written to be big, dumb, and entertaining and it succeeds at all three (and comes equipped with a high casualty rate, surprisingly). I'll be interested to see how Kanigher manipulates his soldiers to go back to the deadly island in the sequel. Are we to assume that three dinos down equals a clear island? Oh, and I may be wrong, but I believe the C.O. in this story is Robert Kanigher.

John: The dinosaurs are here! At last, the moment I've been waiting for. I remember when Peter first told me about these soldier versus dino stories years ago, and I couldn't believe I had been completely unaware of such an awesome concept. High-concept at its very best. Imagine my subsequent excitement when we finally got reprints (albeit black and white) in the DC Showcase Presents volume. So, does it live up to expectations? How could it not! As in classic sci-fi films of the 50s, the first response at finding an unexplained phenomenon is not one of shock and awe, but reasoned understanding. Of course they would assume an earthquake opened up an underground tomb full of dinosaurs! Yeah, right. Call me crazy, but after stumbling across the thunder lizards, wouldn't you think any seismic activity on the island was the result of their stomping around? Maybe that's just me. Let's review what we get in this inaugural tale: Dinos by air, land and sea! Casualties galore (with only two men left, they'd better send reinforcements before the next issue lands)! And a T-Rex that kicks tank butt with his prehensile(?) tail. Can't wait for the next Cretaceous adventure!

Bob Kanigher?

Jack: Other than the bizarre one-off story with the giant Japanese soldier in Our Fighting Forces 52 ("Biggest Target in the World!", December 1959) or the story with the tiny soldiers in All-American Men at War 74 ("The Minute Commandoes!", October 1959), the DC war comics have stayed pretty close to reality so far. Not anymore! A great cover by Andru and Esposito surely guaranteed a spike in sales among little boys, but this story is as dumb as they come. Bob Kanigher must have gotten drunk and watched King Kong on TV late one night, because this story checks all the boxes--mysterious island, fight with T-Rex, Pterodactyl, water dino. I love the explanation we get from one of the soldiers: "The earthquake must have opened the underground tomb these monsters were in for millions of years--maybe in a state of suspended animation--brought them back to life!" That explains it. The T-Rex is awfully good with its hands and its purplish color reminds me of Barney the Dinosaur.

"No Ammo for 'A' Company"

Peter: There's "No Ammo for 'A' Company," so the new kid is ordered to sneak back to the command post for more before a fresh attack wipes out the squad. He does his best to hustle but on the way back he's attacked by the enemy and, by the time he makes it to the front, his comrades have all perished. Shell-shocked, the boy lifts his rifle and yells a taunt to the enemy, who begin a fresh assault. The green kid manages to hold the Nazis back until reinforcements arrive. The story is harrowing, nasty stuff for a funny book, and I get the vibe that the kid has actually snapped after seeing the corpses of his fellow GIs, still at their posts. Grandenetti's art here is splotchy (in one panel, "the kid" looks as though he's gotten chocolate smeared all over his face) and ugly but it doesn't diminish the impact of the narrative.

Jack: It's a shock when the green recruit gets back to the line and finds all of the other solders dead, still posed as if ready to fire their guns. In the hands of another artist, this might have been a more effective story, but Grandenetti doesn't do anything interesting with it. By the way, I now know that "repple depple" means "replacement depot," from which new soldiers are sent to replace (presumably) dead ones.

Oh mon, vérifier les projecteurs sur ce bon gâteau

Peter: The dam above a French village has been bombed by the Nazis but, luckily, amidst the carnage is our girl, Mlle. Marie! With the help of a stud American frogman, Marie quickly gets to the bottom of what the Germans are up to. The underwater village has been transformed into a submarine port by Marie's arch-enemy, Commandant Von Ekt (now sporting a very fetching blonde hairdo) and, quicker than you can say "Oui, oui, Monsieur, J'ai besoin d'un nouveau manteau pour mon caniche!" the dynamic duo have slapped plastic charges on the subs and restored peace to Europe. Well, until next issue. Von Ekt has become Marie's answer to the Red Skull, a Nazi with nine lives. In the past, the Commandant has survived explosions and train derailments but here he actually surfaces after the sub he's riding in explodes! Weel zee rascal ever die? Marie saves the day for all of her countrymen but will she save face when she realizes she's gone from headliner to afterthought?

Jack: Pauvre Marie! Relegated to the back of the book by a purple dinosaur. Even more shocking is that Commandant Van Ekt has joined the Hair Club for Men! Since last issue, when he was bald as a cue ball, he has sprouted a blond brush cut! Mon dieu, je pense que ces histories sont condamne!

Jerry Grandenetti and Jack Abel

G.I. Combat 81

"Jump for Glory!"
Story by Robert Kanigher
Art by Jerry Grandenetti

"Tiger in Town!"
Story by Bob Haney
Art by Jack Abel

"Fire Lane!"
Story by Bob Haney
Art by Ross Andru and Mike Esposito

Peter: Two brothers, Mike and Little Joe, join a squadron of "wild crazy men" who must get behind enemy lines and destroy ammunition. It seems to be a sure way to die when the entire outfit but the brothers is wiped out. Still, the men manage to make it to their destination and strike a blow for the good guys. This one is all over the map. It begins in the best way, by drawing you into a real-life scenario (I find, as one who doesn't have a lot of knowledge about WWII, the best of these stories educate and then entertain) involving snap decisions and machismo. Problem is, then Robert Kanigher introduces his favorite mistake: the catchphrase. I'm really surprised this story wasn't called "The Wild, Crazy Guys" (little Stevie Martin was probably a reader) as that's the phrase we hear over and over. Mike's death at the climax is handled as if it was an afterthought, with no real emotional depth. Still, I'll give "Jump for Glory" a passing mark for its excitement and edginess. Jerry Grandenetti's art is, as usual, sketchy and primitive (one panel shows an exploding plane basically cracking in half like a model), and lacks the flashes of style Jerry displays now and then.

"Jump for Glory!"

Jack: Dear Sgt. Rock: If you fire your machine gun while descending through the air by parachute, does the recoil send you flying off in the opposite direction of the gunshots?

"Tiger in Town"

Peter: A lone GI must fight off a Nazi tank before a squadron of soldiers comes marching through the town. Even though it's a sure suicide mission, the soldier fights with all he's got, even when he's blinded by tank fire. In the climax, the GI manages to destroy the Tiger despite his handicap. For its length, "Tiger in Town" is a good, solid read with passable art by Jack Abel (that's high praise, coming from me). Yeah, it's a little far-fetched (when the tank rams the house and destroys the second floor, our hero falls onto the top of the Tiger, relatively unscathed and with his wits about him), but it is a comic book story. More and more, I'm becoming a fan of Bob Haney's storytelling skills.

Jack: Not a bad story for one drawn by Jack Abel. The blinded soldier fighting on was impressive.

Peter: Johnny Lane must maneuver through a German "Fire Lane" (when Germans spray a sector with bullets, hoping to catch any soldiers in the hail) and outwit the enemy, all while trying to recall exactly what the name of the story is. Oh yeah, right, "Fire Lane." How could I forget?

Yep, the infamous "Fire Lane!"

Jack: I count 18 uses of the phrase "Fire Lane" in this 5 1/2 page story. OK, we get it! There's a fire lane! And--wotta coincidence--the soldier's name is Lane, too--Johnny Lane! This issue was really weak.

Peter: Correction, Jack, devoid of any Russ Heath, this was a weak month.

Through one year of war stories, it might be surprising to hear that the writer responsible for contributing the most stories to the line is not Robert Kanigher. That will change soon enough but for now the reigning King of War is Bob Haney. Only four writers penned scripts from June 1959 through May 1960: Bob Haney (79), Robert Kanigher (46), Hank Chapman (19), and Ed Herron (1). A total of 145 stories appeared in the 48 issues we've reviewed. As for artists (and inkers), that race is a little more tight: Russ Heath and Jack Abel (30 each), Ross Andru (23), Mike Esposito and Joe Kubert (21 each), Jerry Grandenetti (18), Mort Drucker (16), Irv Novick and Bob Forgione (5 each) and Bill Everett (1).

Looks like the work of Carmine Infantino.

The Hitchcock Project-Henry Slesar Part Thirteen: "Party Line" [5.33]

by Jack Seabrook

A party line, or single telephone line that connects two or more subscribers with the main exchange, is a bit of technological history in most places today. In the late 1950s, however, party lines were still used in rural areas where it had not yet become feasible to run multiple cables. The Rock Hudson and Doris Day vehicle Pillow Talk, released October 7, 1959, had a party line as a key plot element. That party line was not as treacherous as the one in Henry Slesar's short story "The Deadly Telephone," which was first published in the January 1960 issue of Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, not long after Pillow Talk came out.

Slesar's story tells the sad tale of Helen Parch, a stout country spinster who is in the habit of listening in on her party line to the gossip of her neighbors. She receives a visit from Daryl Atkins of the District Attorney's office, who tells her that Heyward Miller has escaped from the mental institution where he had been held for years. Miller and his wife had lived near Mrs. Parch and, when his wife was pregnant and had an emergency, he had tried to interrupt one of Mrs. Parch's chatty phone calls on the party line to call the doctor. She refused to hang up and his wife died. He blamed her ever after and was later jailed and shut up in a mental institution, from which he has now escaped.

Helen worries that he may want to come after her but she has no friends or relatives with whom to stay, so she remains alone at home as night falls. She hears a neighbor's dog barking and begins to worry when she hears a noise in her cellar. Picking up the telephone to call the sheriff, she discovers that two of her gossipy neighbors are engaged in a conversation. As she did with Miller years before, they do not believe her claims of having an emergency and refuse to hang up. The story ends this way: "she was still screaming when the hand took the receiver from her and replaced it on the hook. It was a thick, hairy hand and possessed of terrible strength."

Royal Dano

"The Deadly Telephone" is an effective story that quickly paints a portrait of rural isolation and demonstrates how one woman's selfish act can set in motion a cascade of tragedies that will go on for years. The producers of Alfred Hitchcock Presents chose Slesar's story to mark his fifth and final entry in the show's fifth season; retitled "Party Line," the episode is a brilliant example of how to balance comedy and terror in a suspenseful half-hour package. "Party Line" was broadcast on CBS on Sunday, May 29, 1960. The teleplay was written by Eli Jerome, who had also adapted Slesar's "One Grave Too Many" the week before. Jerome has no other credits beyond these two episodes, leading Harvey Chartrand to suggest that this may have been a pen name for Henry Slesar. This is a very intriguing suggestion that I have been unable to confirm or deny by research.

Gertrude Flynn, Judy Canova, Ellen Corby

Starring as Helen is Judy Canova, an actress who was very familiar to viewers at the time as a comedienne specializing in hillbilly humor. The opening scenes of the show lead one to think it will be a comedy, as Helen putters around her country home and listens in on her neighbors' telephone calls. Director Hilton Green does an excellent job of telling the story in pictures by using superimposed heads as they talk on the telephone: Helen's in the middle of the screen and the women on whom she eavesdrops on either side of her. The irony and humor are clear, as Helen calls her neighbors "busybodies" even as she secretly listens in on them.

Charity Grace

The show veers off from its source early on, as Helen tells Atkins the story of what had happened years before. In a flashback sequence, she is on the phone with Mrs. Anderson when Miller interrupts the call to insist that they hang up. He claims he has an important business deal to conduct and they accede to his wishes. Helen listens in on his call and discovers that he is using the telephone to place a bet on a horse race. The next day, Helen meets Miller at the grocery store and tells him that she knows that he had lied about the nature of his call. These additional scenes make the moral picture in "Party Line" more complicated than that in "The Deadly Telephone." In the story, there is no suggestion that Miller was anything but an innocent victim of Helen's selfishness. The picture onscreen is a bit more murky. Miller is rude to the women in his initial call, and he does lie to them. When the subsequent call takes place, one may understand (though not excuse) Helen's skepticism about Miller's claim that he has another emergency. After refusing to hang up, she tells her friend that "you just have to treat people the way they deserve to be treated--that's the golden rule." Helen misunderstands the ancient teaching and twists this aphorism to suit her own purposes.

Arch Johnson

Director Hilton Green does a superb job of telling the story, and the conclusion of the fatal phone call finds the camera slowly zooming in on the central face--that of Miller--as the faces of the women superimposed on the sides are crowded out of the picture. His face is bathed in sweat and he is lit with high-contrast lighting, conveying that the situation is as tense as he claims.

Back in the present, after the flashback comes to a close, Atkins tells Helen that Miller may want to seek her out and kill her. As Helen, Judy Canova gives a tremendous performance, and it is totally unexpected; she plays upon her image as a light comedienne and goes from comedy to terror in the space of several scenes. The little touches in "Party Line" are almost too many to mention: one of Helen's neighbors is the delightfully-named Betty Nubbins, who tells her friend Emma at the beginning of the show that she is sick of hearing Helen talk about the time she won two Bingo games in a row. In the flashback sequence, we see Helen boasting about that very event. Later, when Betty calls Helen to snoop on her visit from Atkins, she lies to Helen and says that Bingo will not be any fun without her. What Jerome (Slesar?) and Green have done, with the help of an excellent cast, is to paint a picture of a small, insular community where everyone is pleasant on the surface but filled with deceit underneath. All of the women lie to each other constantly and eavesdrop on each other's conversations. Only near the end, when Helen is beginning to be consumed by worry and is fed up, does she speak during one of her eavesdropping sessions, telling her neighbors that they are "nasty old busybodies."

Helen heads down to the cellar

The show's final scene is a gem of suspense, as night falls and Helen secures windows and doors in a doomed effort to shut out the escaped lunatic, Mr. Miller. The set decoration is even worth noting, down to the rug beater hanging on her kitchen door! Unlike Helen in the story, Helen on TV has a dog. He barks and she grabs a flashlight and follows him into the dark cellar, where he chases a cat out of the window. This scene prefigures a key scene in one of The Alfred Hitchcock Hour's most terrifying episodes ("An Unlocked Window"). Helen goes back upstairs and calls out the front door after the dog, Nero. Yet she, rather than the dog, is by this point whimpering with fright. She hears another sound in the cellar and puts a chair in front of the door. She picks up the telephone receiver and begs her friends to get off the line so she can call the sheriff. Her terror is palpable as they casually deny her fervent request. As she sobs into the phone, a man's shadow crosses her and then the man's back blocks our view of the soon to be late Helen Parch.

Canova

"Party Line" sneaks up on you because expectations of Judy Canova do not include such a stellar performance in a non-comedic role. Canova (1913-1983) was a popular star on radio, headlining The Judy Canova Show from 1943-1955 playing a hillbilly character. She was known for her singing, yodeling and corny humor. Born Juliette Canova, she was in movies from 1934 and on TV from 1955. This was her only appearance on the Hitchcock series and, judging from "Party Line," that's unfortunate, because she had the capacity to develop a believable character in a short time.

Hilton Green (1929- ) directed this episode. He was a long-time assistant director on many TV shows, including Alfred Hitchcock Presents, who was given this opportunity to direct. He never directed another episode of the Hitchcock series, which is a shame, based on the great work he did here.

Appearing as Atkins was the scarecrow-like Royal Dano (1922-1994), who had a long career as a character actor in movies and on TV. He was on three episodes of the Hitchcock series and also appeared in The Trouble With Harry (1955).

Canova, Johnson, Grace

Arch Johnson (1922-1997) played Miller, in one of his three appearances on the series. A familiar face among character actors, he had a career on TV and in the movies that lasted over three decades and he was in the original Broadway cast of West Side Story.

Ellen Corby (1911-1999) plays Emma, one of the gossipy neighbors. Born Ellen Hansen, she was in movies from 1933 and on TV from 1950 to 1997. She appeared five times on the Hitchcock series and once on Thriller,  but she was most famous for her role as Grandma Walton on The Waltons (1971-1980).

Ted Knight

In a small role as Maynard, the man behind the grocery store counter, Ted Knight (1923-1986) makes an early appearance. Born Tadeusz Konopka in Connecticut, he was on Alfred Hitchcock Presents only once. he also appeared once each on The Twilight Zone and The Outer Limits. In 1970, he shot to fame as Ted Baxter, the pompous newscaster on The Mary Tyler Moore Show (1970-1977). He followed this with The Ted Knight Show (1978), a hilarious role in Caddyshack (1980), and Too Close for Comfort (1980-1987).

"Party Line" is available on DVD here or can be viewed online for free here. It is one of the best Henry Slesar episodes to date.

Sources:
"Galactic Central." Galactic Central. N.p., n.d. Web. 28 Sept. 2013.

Grams, Martin, and Patrik Wikstrom. The Alfred Hitchcock Presents Companion. Churchville, MD: OTR Pub., 2001. Print.

IMDb. IMDb.com, n.d. Web. 28 Sept. 2013.

"Party Line." Alfred Hitchcock Presents. CBS. 29 May 1960. Television.

Slesar, Henry, and Alfred Hitchcock. "The Deadly Telephone." Clean Crimes and Neat Murders: Alfred Hitchcock's Hand Picked Selection of Stories by Henry Slesar. New York: Avon, 1960. 65-71. Print.

Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation, n.d. Web. 28 Sept. 2013.