Batman in the 1960s Issue 38: March/April 1966

The Caped Crusader in the 1960s
by Jack Seabrook
& Peter Enfantino

Kubert

Detective Comics #349

"The Blockbuster Breaks Loose!"

Story by Gardner Fox

Art by Carmine Infantino & Joe Giella

The Blockbuster is back! How, you say? Well, hang on and I'll try to translate the ancient hieroglyphs known as a DC funny book script. Seems the BB survived the ocean's rage (see Detective #345 - editor) and hid in an undersea cave. Here's where it gets kinda sketchy. Either the undersea cave is right below a local department store or BB switches locales after an undisclosed amount of time. Anyway, the Mutant Monster of Mayhem cracks through the dept. store floor just as Batman and Robin are putting the kibosh on a trio of safe-crackers.

Robin escorts the thieves to a back room while Batman doffs his mask, revealing the face of Bruce Wayne to BB. Those of you who don't remember the thrilling details found in "The Blockbuster Invasion of Gotham City" (see Detective #345 - editor), I'll just say that Blockbuster's best friend in the whole world is, ironically, Bruce Wayne, and the millionaire playboy's face is a soothing balm to the soul of the Neanderthal Ninnie. But, what's this? As soon as Bats doffs, the mask reattaches to his face and refuses to let go. "Obviously," thinks the World's Greatest Detective, "Something's going on here!" 

BB beats Bats to a pulp and is about to deliver the killing blow when the Dark Knight imitates the voice of BB's brother, Roland Desmond, commanding him to leave the Batman alone and return to the Blockbuster headquarters. BB does so, leaving an exhausted and beaten Caped Crusader to lick his wounds. Back in the Batcave, the Dynamic Duo cook up a plan to defeat their nemesis, using "a special calcium compound only visible in a calcium light," wherein Bats takes on the features of Roland.

Obviously not bathing for a week, Batman sets out each night on patrols with the Teenage Tornado, but there is no sign of the Mammoth Mauler. Finally, while breaking up a theft at the Gotham Art Museum, the boys hear a thundering, rumbling crash and Blockbuster enters through a wall. Robin shines his calcium light on his partner and Batman magically grows a mustache and second chin, perfectly aping the features of Roland Desmond. The act lasts three or four seconds before all hell breaks loose. Pictures fly off the wall, statues hurtle through the air, rugs are pulled out, and Robin's attention is broken. The calcium light goes out and Blockbuster sees our hero for what he is: a caped and cowled enemy!

The Blockbuster delivers a crunching blow to the head of the Dark Knight and then turns away as a mysterious figure steps out of the shadows and encases Batman in a sarcophagus. The mystery man lets us know the tomb is laced with a special radiation that ages anyone who comes in contact. The tomb will be the death of the Batman! Luckily, the radiation has melted the calcium from Batman's face but somehow hardened the substance on our hero's glove (don't look at me - editor), giving him a rock-hard karate limb. Batman chops his way through the solid stone tomb and then uses the super fist to level Blockbuster. The boys turn their misunderstood enemy over to the scientists at the Alfred Foundation for research purposes.

Meanwhile, somewhere in a Gotham alley, the Outsider admits to us that he was behind all the oddball occurrences of the installment and vows to return someday!

In the end, most of the confusing lapses in credibility can be laid at the Outsider's feet (well, except for Batman's sudden use of dried milk to punch his way out of a thick sarcophagus), but the sophomore adventure of the Blockbuster is threadbare entertainment. Several of the pages are used to remind readers who the big ape is and the final page exposition, delivered by the shadow of the Outsider, is pretty lame. I will say, though, that the identity and purpose of the Outsider are still interesting me. Too bad the script is so bad, because the art is pretty darn good.-Peter

Jack-The best thing about this issue is Kubert's cover. Blockbuster is a character of limited interest and Infantino's art this time out isn't his best work. I was surprised to see the return of the Outsider; isn't it about time to reveal his identity?

Kane/Anderson

Batman #179

"Clay Pigeon for a Killer!"

Story by Robert Kanigher

Art by Sheldon Moldoff & Sid Greene

"The Riddle-Less Robberies of the Riddler!"

Story by Gardner Fox

Art by Sheldon Moldoff & Joe Giella

After three crooks wearing animal head masks succeed in stealing three million bucks from an armored car and killing the guards, the heist becomes the subject of a TV show called "Unsolved Crimes of the Century," where host Roger Kay promises to reveal the identity of the killer on tomorrow's show. Unfortunately, Kay has no idea who the guilty party is, so he visits Bruce Wayne to confess that he's terrified he'll be assassinated by the murderer. Bruce volunteers his pal Batman to be a "Clay Pigeon for a Killer!" on the TV show by impersonating Roger.

Bruce disguises himself as Kay and, as expected, the three robbers/killers show up and one shoots Kay/Batman point blank! Our hero awakens to learn that he was shot with an "anesthetic bullet" and that he is now prisoner in a tunnel that is rapidly filling with 1) water and 2) boastful words from Elon Musk Victor Iago, world's richest man, who can't help bragging about having committed the perfect crime. Iago was one of the trio of robbers; when they got to their hiding place after the crime, he had another man, who was wearing the same disguise as Iago, shoot the other two robbers. Iago then shot the shooter, making it appear that the three crooks had all been killed by an unknown person. The cops figured the three crooks did away with each other and closed the case.

Batman removes his Roger Kay disguise, avoids being drowned, and exits the tunnel to find himself on the grounds of Iago's mansion, where he must escape being mauled by a lion and other big game. The Caped Crusader is caught by Iago's gunsels and brought to the rich guy himself; he quickly overpowers them all. In the end, Iago is in the looney bin, having gone insane.

Bob Kanigher certainly knows how to keep a story moving and, while this one isn't very good, at least there's plenty of action. Moldoff and Giella's art is below average, even for them. You'd think Batman would wear some sort of bullet proof vest, but apparently not. He is shot in the chest and recovers immediately.

The Riddler escapes from prison and vows to stop tipping off Batman to his crimes with riddles. The first time he tries to commit a crime, however, he can't go through with it because he hasn't sent out any riddles beforehand! He vows to cure himself of his compulsion by means of psychoanalysis. After much work, he succeeds in robbing old coins from a soda factory.

While the Riddler has been working on his brain, Batman and Robin have been busy stopping other, more run-of-the-mill crimes. Finally, the Riddler's soda company theft occurs and he is seen running off, leading Batman to wonder why no clues preceded the felony. Batman and Robin soon determine that the Riddler actually has been leaving clues that they did not realize were from him. New clues begin to appear and the Dynamic Duo foil the Riddler's plan to rob the Corsican Glove Factory. Upon capture, the Riddler deduces that he was subconsciously leaving clues while he thought he was taking cat naps during his studies! He returns to jail and vows to outwit Batman soon.

I have been a big fan of the Riddler ever since I was a kid and saw Frank Gorshin on the Batman TV show, so I'm always happy to see a new story with this member of the Rogue's Gallery. Gardner Fox turns in an interesting script, filled with the usual goofy riddles and some unexpected psychoanalysis. Peter, what did you think?-Jack

Peter-I found the plot device of "Riddle-less Robberies" to be an intriguing one but the story was way too talky for my tastes. For a comics-code-approved funny book aimed at an audience of eight-year-olds, "Clay Pigeon for a Killer!" sure has a high body count. Why does millionaire Victor Iago shoot Kay (Bruce Wayne) in the chest with a tranqui-bullet if he's going to drown him hours later anyway? I find most of these stories illustrated by Moldoff and (whoever) to be almost unreadable due to the clunky art. Teasing us with Joe Kubert and Gil Kane covers just to serve up the same old Swanson's on the inside seems, to me, tantamount to bait-and-switch.

Kubert

Detective Comics #350

"The Monarch of Menace!"

Story by Robert Kanigher

Art by Sheldon Moldoff & Joe Giella

Dick Grayson arrives at the airport after a visit to a buddy's crib, only to witness Batman taking on a group of escaped cons armed with dynamite on the runway.  With a little help from the Teenage Twister, Bats puts the dynamite and the cons out like a light. Dick grabs ahold of one of the Dark Knight's biceps, rolls his eyes heavenly, and blurts out that "Batman is the King!"

The World's Greatest Detective sighs and admits to his underage ward that he is not the "king" as long as his old nemesis, the Monarch of Menace, walks the streets a free man! In a frenzied flashback, we learn that the Monarch had a quartet of Little Lord Fauntleroy impersonators who talk like Bowery Boys and carry very little muscle, if their battle with Batman (shown in flashback) is an indicator.

But the Monarch didn't seem to need his henchmen since he had a clutch of deadly weapons at his disposal (including the nefarious AC/DC Scepter!). Batman could only watch in abject disgust and horror as the Monarch ventured out on an unparalleled crime wave and then disappeared without a trace. Bad memory over, Bruce and Dick (now back at the Bat-Cave) both sigh and admit they hope there's a chance they'll have a crack at the Monarch again someday.

Coincidentally, thousands of miles away in his jungle retreat, the Monarch relives his glory days with his merry men in tights and his own son, a kid he belittles as the court jester. Tired of his father's derision, the youth dons his pop's costume and heads to Gotham to make the old man proud. Only problem is, the kid is a klutz; he robs a bank, runs into Robin while exiting the building, and can't seem to operate his dad's weapons. Robin puts Monarch Jr. down like dirt and escorts him back to the Batcave.

After rubbing his victory in the face of the man who made him what he is, Robin unmasks the Monarch and Batman snickers at his ward; a fool caught by a fool. Monarch Jr. confesses he's a fraud and only took up a life of crime to impress the old man. Taking advantage of having the Monarch's costume and tools in the Batcave, Bats examines the articles in great detail, obviously forgetting Jr. is just hanging around, hoping these guys will forget about pressing charges. But the Dark Knight knows that all the data is useless unless he can smoke the real Monarch out of hiding (or, I guess, he could ask the kid where pop's lair is located?), so the World's Greatest Detective unleashes brilliance: he has Gotham's reporters write up stories on how Batman finally caught the Monarch of Menace.

The plot works. Pissed off by his bad press, the Monarch leaves his jungle burrow and flies to Gotham to reclaim his crown. Unfortunately, he discovers too late that Batman has an answer to all his wonderful devices. The final blow is delivered and the Monarch is finally put on ice after all these years. The Caped Crusader visits Jr. in the pen and is flattered when the kid vows to become a superhero rather than a villain. 

Despite (or more likely, because of...) the total inanity of "The Monarch of Menace," I actually enjoyed this adventure. Jr.'s descent into full-blown stooge would be genuinely funny if you erased the bits of parental abuse. Where's Mama Monarch? Also, can we put on hiatus the villain who returns only hours after being discussed?

The panels of Batman wallowing in his own pity, continually moaning that he's a failure because he couldn't bring the Monarch to justice, brought tears to my eyes. Tears from laughing. Why, if this defeat was so overbearing, had we never seen our hero leaning against a lamppost in the middle of an adventure, reminding Robin that, sure, it's a jewel in the crown to put the Joker back in jail for the third time in a twelve-month span, but what about the Monarch? 

Clearly, Big Bob Kanigher wasn't paying attention to his own script, since we clearly see Monarch Jr. coming out of a bank with a bag of loot in his fist but, eight panels later, MJ claims Robin caught him "before he could rob that bank!"-Peter

Jack- Once again, a great cover hides a mediocre story inside. My biggest question is how these villains find henchmen willing to dress in silly costumes and to keep wearing them even when the boss is retired and they're just hanging out and shooting the breeze. Don't the skirts and lace-up shoes get uncomfortable after a while? By the way, an ad in this issue claims that DC sells twice as many comics as any competitor. Take that, Marvel!

Kane

The Brave and the Bold #64

"Batman versus Eclipso"

Story by Bob Haney

Art by Win Mortimer

One night on a Gotham City pier, Batman saves a pretty redhead named Marcia from being shot with an arrow. They embrace and kiss passionately before she shows him the Cat Emerald and explains that her ex-fiance, Nicky Jarvas, stole it from a museum to get rich and prove he was Batman's equal. He was pursued and killed by Cyclops, the international crime syndicate, and just before he died, he gave the emerald to Marcia to return to the museum. An assassin targeted Marcia in order to get the emerald, so she gives it to Batman to return to the museum.

The not so Dark Knight recalls how he met and fell for the rich playgirl, even going so far as to propose marriage, until she dumped him and broke his heart. After agreeing to help her, Batman sneaks into the museum and replaces the Cat Emerald in its case. Hours later, he is arrested by Gotham's finest after a photo showed him seemingly stealing the emerald, which has again gone missing. In jail, Batman overhears two goons discussing the imminent arrival of someone named Mister E, who will join another person named Queen Bee!

In far-off Solar City, an eclipse causes Eclipso to separate from the body of Dr. Bruce Gordon. A pair of crooks dressed in bee costumes appear and grab Eclipso, taking him to the Apis Enterprises building, where Queen Bee is planning to take over Gotham City in Operation Sting! Mr. E arrives and turns out to be none other than Eclipso, who gets busy that evening with Queen Bee and her drones committing jewel robberies. After a crime wave hits Gotham City, Batman breaks out of jail and trails a crook to Queen Bee's hideout, where he is knocked out with gas and thrown into the river. The Caped Crusader wakes up and surfaces before avoiding a police patrol boat, which leads the cops to think he's dead.

Commissioner Gordon receives a visit from Dr. Gordon, who offers to help fight the crime wave and who happens to be an expert on Eclipso. Back at the Hive, Queen Bee's hideout, Eclipso puts the moves on the pretty redhead (hmmm....) just as a hooded agent from Cyclops arrives and announces that he is taking over the criminal operation.

Eclipso tries to zap the agent with a ray beam, but the agent runs and his hood flies off to reveal that it's Batman! Queen Bee saves the Dark Knight in the nick of time and he immediately recognizes her as Marcia, who explains that she undertook a career in crime to save her father from Cyclops. She wanted Batman in jail to keep him safe and helps him escape the Hive, handing him the Cat Emerald once again. Batman bursts out of the building, avoids attacking drones, and battles with Eclipso high above the city street. Just in the nick of time Dr. Gordon appears and shines a light on Eclipso that causes him to be reabsorbed into Gordon's body. Batman hands the emerald to Commissioner Gordon, Dr. Gordon makes a hasty exit, and the Caped Crusader is left holding Queen Bee's costume, wondering where the woman who broke his heart has gone.

"Batman versus Eclipso" is 25 pages of dense plot and high action and it's more entertaining than most of the run-of-the-mill stories we've been reading in Batman and Detective. This is Batman's second appearance in The Brave and the Bold and soon he'll take over the comic for good. Win Mortimer's art is certainly better than that of Sheldon Moldoff, but not as good as Carmine Infantino's. I'm looking forward to reading more team-ups!  The editor points out in this issue's letters page that this is the first time that B & B has featured a hero fighting his co-star, rather than teaming up with him.-Jack

Peter-I knew nothing about Eclipso, a villain who's nothing more than a DC version of Jekyll & Hyde and had to read a few blog posts to bring me up to date. The character ran as a back-up in House of Secrets from #61 (August 1963) through the 80th issue (October 1966). HoS slipped into limbo for three years and was rebooted as one of the DC mystery titles (see here for that story) and Eclipso became a footnote in comic history until he was rebooted in the '90s and became a first-class badass.

I love the x-ray panel that shows the inside of "The Hive" but I'm struggling with the fact that Queen Bee keeps her helicopters on an enclosed third floor. Maybe this gal isn't such an evil genius at that. Hearing Bats use the word "baby" is off-putting, maybe because I don't want the inevitable hippy era to come so soon but seeing him put an attractive babe across his knee for a good Wertham-enraging spanking is gold. Don't tell any of the eight-year-olds reading this strip, but Professor Gordon's head-first leap from atop a high building into a fireman's net would break his neck and put a damper on any victory celebration.

Next Week...
Can a Little Colan
Save Jack and Peter
From the Mid-50s Doldrums?

Batman in the 1980s Issue 34: October 1982

The Dark Knight in the 1980s
by Jack Seabrook &
Peter Enfantino

Aparo

Batman #352

"The Killer Sky!"

Story by Gerry Conway & Paul Kupperberg

Art by Don Newton & John Calnan

Commissioner Gordon lies in a hospital bed, badly beaten by a crooked cop, with his daughter Barbara and his partner Jason Bard watching over him. The new mayor and the cop responsible show up and threaten more beatings unless Gordon drops his investigation. Batman intervenes and promises to help Gordon and Bard find proof in order to remove Mayor Hill from office.

Meanwhile, in the North Atlantic, a zeppelin pulls a submarine out of the water and flies away with it! At Wayne Manor, Christopher Chance is finished impersonating Bruce Wayne, while in Gotham, Vicki Vale sees Boss Thorne visit her editor, after which her editor commits suicide.

That night, Vicki joins Bruce on a luxury liner for a fireworks display, but when the zeppelin passes by and starts to levitate a battleship, Batman swings into action and climbs aboard the airship. He tries to dismantle it but is knocked off by goons working for its commander, who calls himself Colonel Blimp. Batman survives the fall and staggers home, where he quickly recovers and is joined by the Boy Wonder as they set out in the Batmobile to find the blimp. A land mine destroys their vehicle, so they don't know that Colonel Blimp is nearby, hiding in an old hangar and promising to make fools pay!

Peter: The Jules Verne plot is rather clunky (Colonel Blimp??!!), as is the awkward exposition when any of the subplots raise their tired heads ("We know it was their political machine that set up Hill's opponent Reeves with those phony photographs of you during the election to discredit the opposition and insure their winning"--whew! I need a breath and a comma or three!), but what really sinks this turkey is the awful artwork. I've seen great Don Newton work before, so I'll lay the blame squarely at the feet of inker John Calnan. 

I love how depressed Vicki gets after watching her crooked boss blow his brains out. A couple of gin and tonics and Bruce Wayne on her arm, and no problem. Though it might look like Colonel Blimpie is a sign of the times (Disgraced Nazi? Crazed Russkie?), the second part of this loser will show otherwise. And someone please tell me what the hell Vicki Vale is wearing. Was this around the time that Dan Haggerty was influencing women's fashion?

Jack: It doesn't get much worse than this, does it? The heavy Calnan inks destroy most of Don Newton's pencils and make this look like a 23-page backup feature. Nothing much happens in this "book-length thriller" and I was dreading the "to be continued" at the end that promises more of Colonel Blimp. At least they got Jim Aparo to draw a good cover, which reminds me of a cover by Neal Adams from Batman 219 (February 1970).

Aparo

Detective Comics #519

"...Like a Dreadnought in the Sky!"

Story by Gerry Conway & Paul Kupperberg

Art by Don Newton & John Calnan

While Batman searches for Colonel Blimp, Robin plays a hunch and flies to the Arctic in the Batplane, where he stumbles on the missing battleship and submarine. Once Robin wakes up the slumbering sailors and motivates them, they ready their weapons for a Blimp return. Once the bad guys arrive and exit the zeppelin, the sailors surround them and take them prisoner.

Meanwhile, back in Washington, Colonel Blimp discovers his Arctic retreat has been captured just as the Dark Knight boards the villain's balloon. Blimp gets the drop on the Caped Crusader and holds our hero at gunpoint long enough to explain his origin. You see, Blimp's father was a Navy man who believed in the dirigible project of the 1930s, only to be cast away and disregarded by his superiors. The scorn was too much for Daddy Blimp and he "died a broken man." Showing that he is a true superhero, Batman does not fall asleep during the oratory but, in fact, works out a very clever plan to get himself out of this jam. Bats uses a cylinder of hydrogen to ignite Blimp's cigarette and the distraction allows him to deliver a left uppercut to the 10th-tier villain's jaw, thus making the skies safe again.

Co-starring Georgie Jessel as the brilliant commander

Peter: Not that Gerry fills in many of the particulars, but just how fast is this zeppelin? How far is it to the Arctic from Gotham? You see where I'm going with this? I realize there are at least three zeps (one is blown up by Blimpie early in the story), but the balloon carrying all that extra weight has to fly quite a ways (and then back again!) to drop its load. Off the top of my head (wink wink), I'd say that the maximum speed of a zep is 84 mph and the distance between Gotham and the Arctic is 2600 miles. To paraphrase one of Gerry's lines in this installment, the logic is as slippery as "a fat man on a banana peel!"

Colonel Blimp's origin is so maudlin and threadbare, you can almost imagine Gerry throwing up his arms and saying "Screw it! The story's a dog anyway. This character will never be used again (and he was right) so why should I bother brainstorming?" So the Navy guys on the frozen battleship had to have the Boy Wonder arrive to remind them they had big guns aboard and could defend themselves? Doesn't give you much confidence in the Earth-1 militia, does it? All around, the Colonel Blimpie saga is a 40-page wet noodle.

Jack: Another nice cover by Aparo tricks kids into buying this off the newsstand, only to get home and discover it contains 17 more pages of Colonel Blimp! Gerry must really have loved Led Zeppelin to come up with this ridiculous premise. Len Wein is credited as the editor of this story, and I hope his tenure improves starting next issue. At least Newton's art looks better than in Batman. I don't know why Gerry decided to name his villain after a British film character, but he shouldn't have bothered.

"...When Velvet Paws Caress the Ground!"

Story by Barbara Randall

Art by Trevor von Eeden & Rodin Rodriguez

Batgirl squelches the computer crime of the Velvet Tiger but the Tiger's brother, Ward, aids in her getaway. Frustrated, Babs hopes she'll get another crack at the villainess soon. She will.

Peter: I liked "When Velvet Paws...," while admitting the lack of a cohesive story and general confusion. There's too little space to breathe. The Velvet Tiger is an edgy character, not quite full-on insane like the Joker but still a bit unhinged. She doesn't really present much of a threat in the few panels she's presented in but you get the feeling there's something exciting to be done with the Tiger. The art is rough, vivid here and scratchy there, but I prefer it to the drab and lifeless doodles we got in the Blimpie arc. 

Jack: The story is unfocused and the art is uneven but, yes, it's better than Col. Blimp. The other good thing about this Batgirl backup is that it kept the lead story from being longer.

Aparo

The Brave and the Bold #191

"Only Angels Have Wings"

Story by Dan Mishkin & Gary Cohn

Art by Jim Aparo

What's a Batman to think when the Joker murders the Penguin on live TV? The Clown Prince of Crime summons the Dark Knight to his side and insists he was framed; the old adversaries are forced to team up to find the Penguin's killer. The funeral is being held at St. Vitus Cathedral and, wouldn't you know it, the Joker exposes the very-much alive Penguin, who is masquerading as a nun. He had planned to kidnap a cardinal for ransom, but his plot is foiled by the very un-Dynamic Duo, and the Joker helps Batman put the Feathered Fiend behind bars.

Peter: This is really dumb, juvenile material. It's a lucky thing DC decided to develop multiple universes as there's no way you can convince me this is the same Joker who threw a wheelchair-bound man into a shark tank or would soon paralyze Barbara Gordon. This is the Adam West-Universe Joker and Penguin. Not my cup of tea. A story that sees Batman team up with a loon who has murdered dozens is of no interest to me, sorry.

Peter's next car

Jack: Peter! Lighten up! Look closely at the flower in my button-hole and... oh, never mind. I thought this story was a lot of fun, easily the best so far this month after the two-parter with Colonel Blimp and the weak Batgirl entry. I have no problem with the Joker of the '70s who had his own comic and was an anti-hero of sorts; I'm just happy to see two classic villains after all of the second-tier bad guys we've had to put up with in recent issues. I admit that Batman was not at his best in this story; it strains credulity to think he'd try to pick the lock on the trunk of a car and not notice it's the Joker's car, or that he would fail to appreciate that the Penguin's corpse in the funeral home was a wax dummy, but I don't care. With the great Aparo art, I really got a kick out of "Only Angels Have Wings."

"Dead Man's Bluff!"

Story by Cary Burkett

Art by Dan Spiegle

Blaine Sheffield's wife intervenes and prevents the Butcher from killing Nemesis. Nemesis fights back and the Butcher makes a run for it; Mrs. Sheffield tips Nemesis off to her husband's location, so Nemesis disguises himself as the Butcher and tricks Sheffield into a confession. Mrs. Sheffield isn't thrilled that her hubby will have to turn state's evidence. 

Peter: What little action this chapter of "Nemesis" contains is ground to a halt by some really clunky expository in its mid-section. Jack and I berate the art of Dan Spiegle on a bi-weekly basis but this chapter might contain Spiegle's all-time worst art. Characters' features and faces are indistinguishable from each other. It's a foggy mess.

Jack: Hang in there--only one more issue of Spiegle's art before the big finale, which Aparo draws. The best thing about this story, other than the fact that it only runs six pages, is the lettering on the title, presumably by Adam Kubert.

von Eeden

Batman Annual #8

"The Messiah of the Crimson Sun"

Story by Mike W. Barr

Art by Trevor von Eeden

Every man, woman, and child in Shinn Corners dies a horrible death, their skin fried right off the bone. But who is at the bottom of this act of terrorism? It's the creepy robed figure identifying himself as the Messiah of the Crimson Sun (as opposed to the Mauve Sun or Alabaster Sun). With the aid of an army general, Batman sends Robin deep undercover into the Crimson Sun cult. 

At the same time, Batman discovers that the Messiah's plan is to poison Gotham's water supply with the same toxin that killed the population of Shinn Corners. The Dark Knight busts into the water purification plant and engages in fisticuffs with the Messiah's henchmen. The numbers vastly favor the Crimson Cult and it seems as though Batman will fail. One of the thugs opens the water valve and is about to dump the poison into the pipes when shots ring out and the man is dead. Batman looks up to discover that his savior, and the savior of Gotham, is none other than Talia Al Ghul!

Bats snickers and tells Talia he knew who was behind the whole plot in the first place, since the thugs wore the trademarked logo of Ra's Al Ghul on their outfits. Bats thanks his ex-girlfriend (who clearly still holds a torch for our hero, incessantly referring to Bats as "Beloved") and she agrees to assist him in taking down her father. But Ra's has blasted off in a rocket ship to a floating space station just outside Earth's atmosphere, with Robin as an uninvited guest.

Bats looks to the general once more and borrows a space shuttle to attempt a Boy Wonder rescue. With the aid of Talia, Bats sneaks onto the space station and confronts Ra's, who explains his complicated plot to destroy Earth (something about cleansing the world with the aid of the sun). Bats and his long-time enemy duke it out for over an hour while Talia rescues Robin; they both scurry to the room where the two foes are having their workout and Talia tries to talk her father out of his evil plan. 

Meanwhile, back on Earth, the general has decided the time has come to blast the space station to smithereens, whether Bats and Robin have escaped or not. The missiles hit their target and the station begins to break apart. Ra's hops in an emergency evacuation vehicle and speeds away but Batman, showing more than just a little bit of his precognitive power, had monkeyed with the controls of the vehicle and sends Ra's hurtling towards the sun. Back on Earth, Talia calls off the wedding plans. "Oh well," sighs the Caped Crusader, "there's always Vicki Vale!"

Peter: A big disappointment, considering this is the first Batman Annual since 1964. If you're going to offer up (what the splash claims to be) the "longest single adventure ever of the dread Batman," you better make sure you've got a solid plot and a story that will hold the reader's attention for 40+ pages. "The Messiah of the Crimson Sun" does not contain either. It's a bloated, nonsensical mess. I'm not sure why Ra's decided he had to set up this elaborate con with the Crimson Sun cult. Why bother with the subterfuge when the truth will come out eventually and, it seems, the whole idea was to force a showdown with his wanna-be son-in-law?

Talia's emotional swings are annoying. She wants to kill her father. She doesn't want to kill her father. "He's out of control." "He's just misunderstood." And Robin's big role as infiltrator is a joke. He's brought before "the Messiah" disguised as the only survivor of the Shinn Corners massacre, Ra's unmasks, and Robin gulps. That's about it until the Boy Blunder shows up to watch Bats trade right crosses. The whole thing just feels like it was thrown together at the last second. That goes for the art as well. Trevor von Eeden can be very moody and atmospheric and the Batman is the perfect character to utilize that style. But I found there were far too many large panels of... nothing, really. Spaceships and posed bad guys. His version of the Dark Knight is pretty cool, reminding me of the 1940s version, but his non-cowled characters are stiff and interchangeable. I didn't dislike this as much as the two-parter in Batman and 'tec this month, but I wouldn't ever revisit it.

Jack: I disagree 100%! This is in the running for my best of 1982. Is this the same Trevor von Eeden who drew the Batgirl backup strip? This art is terrific! The page layouts are dynamic and, as I read this issue, I kept thinking that von Eeden's work is the link to the future, since Batman artists of the 2000s are drawing the Dark Knight in a similar fashion. The story has more adult themes than anything we read in the three regular monthly books, and I was not expecting Ra's al Ghul to be behind the plot. The story creates a real sense of urgency as the time ticks by. These are 42 thrilling pages!

Next Week...
Another masterpiece from 
Stenstrum and Corben!

Batman in the 1980s Issue 32: August 1982

The Dark Knight in the 1980s
by Jack Seabrook &
Peter Enfantino

Colan & McLaughlin

Batman #350

"Nightmare in Crimson"

Story by Gerry Conway & Paul Levitz

Art by Gene Colan & Tony DeZuniga

Waking up from a nightmare and finding himself in the hospital, Robin gets dressed and races to the Batcave. Batman has just arrived back from his trip to California and notices that Robin is acting a bit odd, though the Dark Knight fails to notice Robin's red eyes. Meanwhile, Vicki Vale's publisher, Morton Monroe, pilfers her Batman file from her office desk just before she makes a date with Bruce Wayne for that evening.

Night falls and Bruce, Vicki, and Dick all attend a party at Dala's house. Bruce again notices Dick's weird behavior, so he snoops around, sees Dala leading a somnolent Dick outside, and changes into his Batman outfit. He ventures outside and is attacked by the vampire monk who manages to put the bite on him before Dick conks him on the head.

Peter: With that intriguing final panel (of Bats, with blood trickling from two wounds on his neck), it'll be hard for Gerry to write this off as a Scooby-Doo fake vampire saga. And hopefully he won't try. I like the DeZuniga inking as much as I liked Alcala's last issue; so nice to see my favorite DC hero given a solid sheen. There are a few pages devoted to the Vicki Vale subplot but, thankfully, the main story keeps Gerry from touching on the Gordon nonsense. Hopefully, we won't have to deal with that (and the Vale) too much into the future. 

Jack: I liked the art much better this issue than last issue. DeZuniga seems a better choice to ink Colan's pencils than Alcala (sorry, Peter!). The story is also more interesting and seems to flow more smoothly than last time. The subplots and distractions are kept to a minimum and Batman is more of the focus of his own book than Robin. I'm looking forward to reading the next installment in Detective!

"Those Lips, Those Eyes"

Story by Brice Jones

Art by Tony DeZuniga

Selina Kyle wakes up in a room she doesn't recognize and has blood on her clothes! In an adjoining room she finds a dead blonde in fishnets; a matchbook provides a clue. Realizing she resembles the dead woman, Selina switches to her Catwoman outfit and investigates, fighting dizziness and recalling fleeting images of herself being knocked out. She dresses up to resemble the dead girl and takes her place as a stripper in a go-go bar; she chases a cat burglar she saw outside the apartment but ends up at his mercy, clinging to a rooftop by her fingers!

Peter suddenly realizes why we love DC comics.

Peter: Tony DeZuniga's debut on the Catwoman back-up is not bad, though he lacks the style and pizazz of Von Eeden (the splash makes Selina look like Margot Kidder and the final page looks rushed). The story is confusing but hopefully will unfurl in the next chapter. Some nice PG-rated cheesecake but blame the cat burglar's entrance for avoiding the PG-13!

Jack: I thought DeZuniga's art on this strip was fantastic! Of course, that has nothing to do with all of the compromising positions he puts Selina in. Whew! Having Selina Kyle in a blonde wig and fishnets working at a strip club is a dream come true for any fan of pulps and old paperbacks. Not that I would like those things, you understand. I'm just trying to put myself in their shoes.

Colan & Giacoia

Detective Comics #517

"The Monster in the Mirror"

Story by Gerry Conway & Paul Levitz

Art by Gene Colan & Tony DeZuniga

Bitten by a vampire, Batman somehow becomes a blood-sucker himself without the effort of dying. He makes his way back to Wayne Manor and Alfred, startled by his employer's condition, hides the Dark Knight away while he can figure things out.

Just then, there's a knock on the door and Alfred finds a priest, Father Green from St. Jude's Hospital, waiting on the doorstep. The holy man explains that he knows there's a "troubled soul" inside the mansion now that Batman has been infected with vampirism. Alfred feigns ignorance but the priest relates the tale of plantation owner Louis Dubois and his sister. Shortly after the Civil War, DuBois was cursed by a witch after he mistreated his workers and he became a vampire. He bit his sister, infecting her as well. Meanwhile, ex-cop Jim Gordon and PI Jason Bard continue to investigate the crooked politics of Hamilton Hill and Batman claims his first victim as a full-fledged vampire. Dick Grayson picks up Vicki Vale at a party while Dala and her fanged brother watch from the shadows.

Peter: A very disappointing second chapter in this Dark Knight: Vampire saga. The DuBois origin is nothing new, borrowed piecemeal from so many other vampire/zombie/werewolf tales. The Bats-as-bloodsucker sequence at the end of the story left me giggling rather than what Gerry (ostensibly) had hoped my reaction might be. That is, unless Conway has his tongue planted firmly in cheek and this whole thing is a goof. If Father Green knew DuBois and sis were vampires, why wait so long to do anything about it? The Gordon/Vale stuff continues to be a waste of paper and I can't wait to be done with it. Ironically, the only subplot that I had cottoned to was the Dick/Dala affair, and that has already played itself out. Or has it?

The Gene/Tony work is still strong although Chance, Dick, and Bruce all seem to be the same person at times. Thank goodness Vicki calls Dick by name at the climax or I'd have thought Bruce was in two places at once. That finale is going to reveal something interesting at the onset of Batman #351 next month.

Jack: Are we reading the same comic? This was a blast! The multi-page flashback to the Civil War features the best Colan art we've seen in some time, though I was confused when Dubois was bitten by a snake and became a vampire. Huh? I liked seeing Batman put the bite on a crook but I don't see how Jason Bard is helping Commissioner Gordon, unless he's just there for moral support. And what's up with Christopher Chance? He's the Human Target, right? Is he going to sub in for Bruce or Bats to trick Vicki? Imagine so. The whole Bat Vampire story isn't totally cogent but it's a lot of fun.

"A Tale of Two Serpents!"

Story by Cary Burkett

Art by Jose Delbo & Joe Giella

Transformed into a giant snake woman, Batgirl must use all her cognitive abilities at once to control her serpentine alter-ego. When she sees a local toxicologist, the man informs her that if he can lay his hands on a sample of Lady Viper's venom, then he can work up an antidote. Batgirl tracks the Queen of Serpents to her boxcar lair, where she surprises her new foe with her changing abilities. Lady Viper is knocked unconscious and Babs attains the venom she requires. Cured, Batgirl heads back to the boxcar to see to the snake woman but arrives just in time to see the giant revert to pure snake form. Lady Viper is no more!

Peter: This is the final chapter in what, with minor changes, could very easily have been filmed as a Bela Lugosi vehicle, directed by Ed Wood. A lot of these back-ups are dumb as dirt but the "Lady Viper" four-parter was also an enjoyable trip to Loonytown. I love how, once she's made the transformation from Snakegirl back to Batgirl, her leotards are ripped just enough not to show whether Babs is a natural redhead. The bare legs look is a good one. The art is just as awful as always, but it's appropriate, given the low-budget horror shenanigans going on. Jose Delbo seems incapable of anything resembling an interesting angle in his panels. Most everything is "shot" from straight ahead. His most intriguing take appears below, when Jose decides, craftily, that the reader doesn't need to see the characters' mouths when they talk. Sly that one!

Jack: This story arc ended too soon. Is it a coincidence that we have both Batman and Batgirl sporting fangs in the same issue and both were bitten by snakes? It was a cheat when all Batgirl had to do was concentrate in order to lose her serpent tail. The antidote worked awfully fast and the end was a letdown. I hope Lady Viper returns!

Aparo

The Brave and the Bold #189

"A Grave as Wide as the World!

Part Two: Dead Men Tell No Tales!"

Story by Robert Kanigher

Art by Jim Aparo

Searching for a clue as to who poisoned Loon Lake, Batman finds that David Phillips appears to have been killed in a car crash that landed him at the bottom of a bay. Batman dives under the water and finds a photo, sealed in plastic, of a young boy and his father saluting Der Fuhrer. Scuba divers attack the Dark Knight and Thorn swims to the rescue. In spite of that, the Bat-misogynist leaves Thorn behind and visits "famed Nazi hunter Leon Weiner," who identifies the Nazi in the photo as Martin Bormann, who is hiding out in South America.

It's off to Brazil for Bruce Wayne, on a plane also carrying Rose Forrest. Batman arrives in Rio de Janeiro and thwarts a plot to kill the president, carried out by crooks dressed as Batman and riding a float in the big Carnival. As a reward, Batman is loaned a plane to search the jungles for Bormann's hideout, which turns out not to be terribly hard to find, seeing that he erected an airfield with a replica of the Brandenburg Gate. Batman's plane is shot down and he has to make an emergency landing. David Phillips arrives on another plane (along with Rose) to deliver the canister of Inferno A to Bormann, his father. Thorn again pops out of nowhere to save Batman and the Nazi compound blows up. Batman drops the canister at the bottom of a river filled with piranhas.

Safe in the jungle, Batman hypnotizes Thorn to try to discover her secret identity, but she isn't giving it up.

Some detective! Try yanking off her wig.

Peter: First things first--I had to read the very first caption on the splash three times before I could make heads or tails of it: A moon as mad as the vandals who smashed tombstones and uprooted the dead at Gotham Cemetery glows at two who never should have met--but did! I'm not sure I was ever the same after that opening. Luckily, Big Bob serves up an entertaining reboot of The Boys from Brazil, stocked with evil Ratzis and their equally rotten offspring. I love that dopey climax. Hilariously, Batman thinks to himself at the beginning of the story that Thorn is entitled to her secrecy, then tries to take advantage of the girl by hypnotizing her and asking her who she really is! Blonde girl goes into the jungle, Thorn comes out. World's greatest detective, my Aunt Frannie. Worst Cover of the Year, hands down.

Jack: I love Jim Aparo, but I kept thinking that this story would've looked great if it had been drawn by Joe Kubert, Big Bob Kanigher throws in all of our favorite tropes from DC War Comics, including Nazis, scuba divers, and airplane battles. Kubert would've knocked this story out of the park. As it is, Bob has trouble finding logical reasons to fit in Rose and Thorn, and even I couldn't really understand what she was doing in the Brazilian jungle or how she got there. Still, the story moves fast and is fun if you park your brain at the door. I suspect we won't see any more of Thorn next issue.

"Betrayal!"

Story by Cary Burkett

Art by Dan Spiegle

Sheffield decides to hold off on shooting Kingston and Nemesis escapes an explosion. Nemesis locates the room with all of the TV monitors and knocks out the people in it before destroying all of the equipment. Sheffield gets Kingston alone and kills him. Nemesis rescues Marjorie and takes her outside, where Valerie is still circling in a chopper. Brewster threatens Nemesis with a machine gun but is attacked by a lion, allowing the trio to escape by helicopter.

Jack: Less boring than usual but just as silly, this installment (seems like #1000) of the Nemesis saga gets the dubious distinction of being better than usual. Dan Spiegle's art is still not something I ever want to experience again, but at least there's plenty of action.

Peter: By emphasizing the action and ignoring the boring stuff like characterization and plot, Cary Burkett finally (after 24 long and deadly dull months) crafts an installment of Nemesis that I thoroughly enjoyed. Yep, I will echo Jack's sentiments that the art is just as hideous as ever but the Executioner/ Destroyer/men's adventure hero aspects of "Betrayal" are on the money.

Next Week...
Jack and Peter will discuss whether
a whole issue of Gonzalo Mayo
melty-things is a great idea or not!

Batman in the 1980s Issue Number 30: June 1982

 

The Dark Knight in the 1980s
by Jack Seabrook &
Peter Enfantino

Aparo

Batman #348

"Shadow Play"

Story by Gerry Conway

Art by Gene Colan & Klaus Janson

Bruce, Dick, and Alfred have moved back into Wayne Manor but the night is interrupted by two surprise visitors at the front door: Francine Langstrom and her young daughter, Rebecca. Francine is angry at Bruce for failing to follow up on his promise to find a cure for her husband Kirk so, once Francine is fast asleep, Batman takes little Rebecca down into the Batcave and disappears into a maze of tunnels, hoping to find Man-Bat and use Rebecca to jolt him out of his madness.

Man-Bat attacks and nearly kills Batman, not recognizing his daughter at first. However, when she nearly falls to her death, Man-Bat snaps back to sanity and saves her. Batman injects him with a serum that makes him return to human form and the Langstrom family is reunited.

Meanwhile, Barbara Gordon is worried about her father's emotional state and decides to call Jason Bard for help, while Vicki Vale tells her editor that she may have proof of Batman's secret identity, unaware that her boss is passing information to Boss Thorne.

Peter: Man-Bat is in my Top Ten Rogues' Gallery of Bat-Villains, but even I know a problem when it presents itself. These Man-Bat adventures of late have become formulaic. Weepy wife tells the Dark Knight her husband has turned into a flying creature again and Bats heads out to nab him. Langstrom then realizes what he's doing and becomes a good guy again. It's the same kind of formula Marvel ran into the ground with the Lizard. "Shadow Play" is no different. Langstrom will be back before we know it. Colan's art is rough here, looking incomplete in several sections (in one panel, Babs Gordon looks like Dick with a red wig), but I'll take it over the blandness of some of the other artists at DC around this time.

Jack: Batman's decision to use a child as bait to catch a lunatic is ethically questionable, but how about the first couple of pages, where Bruce and Dick have trouble moving the giant penny back into the Batcave? Why not just get rid of it? Like you, I'm always happy to see Man-Bat, but not for one moment did I think little Rebecca was really in danger or that Man-Bat wouldn't be cured. What I wonder is what Man-Bat was doing hiding in the Batcave all this time. Did he eat grubs? Did he fly out at dusk like the rest of the bats? Does he excrete guano? So many questions left unanswered.

"The Man, The Bullet, The Cat, Part One"

Story by Bruce Jones

Art by Trevor Von Eeden & Pablo Marcos

Walking down a city street, Selina's hat flies off and a little girl runs into the street to retrieve it. Selina rushes to save her from being hit by a car but trips, allowing a man to rescue the child. The man turns out to be Daniel Brown, who is running for president of the CLA Union and who needs a bodyguard. He talks Selina into signing on to protect him from getting shot at a talk he's giving that night. Two hours before the speech, Selina is eating a burger at Hamburger Haven when she intervenes to teach a bully a lesson. An hour later, the bully and his fellow motorcycle gang members tangle with Selina but have to reckon with Catwoman. This incident makes Selina late for her security job protecting Brown and, just as she arrives, she hears that he's been shot.

Peter: The Catwoman back-up continues to be readable, but I'm still confused as to when she became a "superhero-type" and when she reverted back to bad girl. The politician plot is a good one but his stumbling over what to call Selina was old after the second time. This might just be typical backup fare and I'm a Bruce Jones homer.

Jack: Much like the prior story with the disappearing train, this is well above average for a backup feature. Trevor von Eeden and Pablo Marcos's art is better than that of Colan and Janson in the lead story this issue, and Bruce Jones's story is entertaining. I'll go out on a limb here and predict that Brown's running mate, Peter Simmons, is behind the assassination plot. And what's with all of these motorcycle gangs in Gotham? Didn't Batgirl just have a run-in with a similar (but less well-drawn) group?

Andru/Giordano

Detective Comics #515

"The Academy of Crime Part One:

College for Killers"

Story by Gerry Conway

Art by Don Newton & Frank Chiaramonte

There's this new place in SoCal called "The Academy of Crime," and its big boss, the Headmaster, teaches criminals how to be criminous. We discover via a conversation between the Headmaster and his latest batch of pupils that Mirage (see 'tec #511) was a graduate of the Academy (though not one that would have a little statue under glass in the hallway). While out cracking heads, The Dark Knight gets some 411 on this new prep school and makes immediate flight arrangements, stepping out not as Bruce Wayne but as the sketchy Matches Malone.

Meanwhile, Dick Grayson follows his ex-not-quite-girlfriend, Dala, around town as Robin and discovers she lives in a creepy old mansion outside of Gotham. After watching Dala change clothes (naughty, naughty!), Robin breaks all kinds of laws by entering Dala's house via an upstairs window. When he hears her chanting downstairs, he heads for the staircase and is relieved of his senses from behind by a mysterious robed figure. 

Meanwhile meanwhile, Alfred has decided to not bother his Master about the impending Vicki Vale cover story on "Bruce Wayne: Batman!" and, instead, takes matters into his own hands by contacting the Human Target. What this plan entails is anyone's guess at this point but, hopefully, will be revealed in part 2 of "The Academy of Crime!"

Peter: There's so much wrong with this sub-par mess (and we can start with that horrible splash at right where the faux-Batman strikes a pose that no normal human being could pull off--is he walking in mid-air?) that I question whether one of my favorite Bat-scribes actually wrote the script or handed it off to one of his pre-teen neighbors to work out. Why would a crime college in Hollywood be studying tactics for defeating Batman? Aren't there any DC heroes located closer to L.A.? Why would Alfred think so highly of Vicki Vale that he would do anything to prevent Bruce from finding out she's about to out him ("This way there will be less damage to their relationship!")? As if Catwoman wasn't a shaky enough relationship, now Al wants his boss to get into bed with a blackmailer.

And let's go over this "crush" Dick has on the mysterious Dala, a woman he's never really had a relationship with other than a few stolen goo-goo eyes and maybe a kiss or two. The Boy Wonder turns stalker and commits a B+E just to find out why this girl won't fall as madly in love with him as he has her ("Maybe it's pride, but after the way you dropped me cold..."). And then this erstwhile superhero gets clocked in the head for the 14th time this year by someone he never sees coming. Perhaps Bruce Wayne should open an Academy of Sidekicks? All in all, one of the worst Gerry scripts we've seen so far.

It must have been love/
but it's over now!

Jack: Yep, it's pretty bad. After a great, old-fashioned cover, the inside lead story is a conglomeration of subplots looking for a focus. The Headmaster is a Sydney Greenstreet knockoff and I wondered as I read if one could take out a student loan to attend the Academy of Crime. As for Vicki Vale's supposed "evidence" that Bruce Wayne is Batman, it's pretty thin. It looked to me like all she had were a couple of photos pasted together and some height and weight measurements. That's it? Hardly crack journalism. It's nice to see Batman go undercover again as Matches Malone, but I have to ask why we're suddenly seeing the return of characters from the 1970s like the Human Target here and Jason Bard in Batman. It's like Roy Thomas is in the background, poring over his collection for ideas.

"In the Coils of the Serpent!"

Story by Cary Burkett

Art by Jose Delbo & Joe Giella

While she's got Batgirl trapped in her gigantic coils, Lady Viper relates how she became "Queen of the Serpents." Once a mild-mannered reptile lover, the poor young girl was found repellent by boys and girls her own age, so she found solace with her snakes at the carnival. While traveling through Europe, the girl stumbled across a statue of a snake goddess in a curio shop and took it home with her. Later, the souvenir zapped the girl with its hypnotizing eyes and granted her the power of a giant snake. The long, detailed, and frankly sad story allows the Darknight Damsel to reach her utility belt and burn a bit of Viper's tail. Batgirl is released but she's bitten, and Lady Viper slinks away. Our heroine feels very tired but knows she has to nab the slithering goddess before she murders again

Peter: Dumb as a box of Fruit Loops and about as healthy for you, "In the Coils of the Serpent!" is also undeniably fun. It's pure purple pulp writing and the entire chapter is given over to Viper's cornball origin. I think it's absolutely amazing that Batgirl knows exactly where everything is in that belt of hers. Ostensibly, the shark repellant and laser eye-beams are in one pouch and the compact and hair spray in the other? Jack and I constantly harp on Messrs. Burkett, Delbo, and Giella (and for good reason), but they accomplish exactly what they set out to do this issue and present some decent entertainment.

Jack: Peter, I think one too many Bat backup tales has scrambled your brain. This is terrible! It's good to know that the one sure way to avoid certain death is to ask a super-villain to tell you their origin story. While the serpent lady is rattling off her tale of woe, Batgirl is sneaking her hand into her utility belt. Maybe she didn't know right where everything was and that's why she had to keep the gal talking as her hand opened pouch after pouch until she found what she needed.

Aparo

Brave and the Bold #187

"Whatever Happened to What's'ername?"

Story by Charlie Boatner

Art by Jim Aparo

Batman is out on patrol when he sees Iron, one of the Metal Men, being dragged off of a dock and under water by a mechanical creature known as a Floating Fury. Batman saves Iron and surfaces to see Gold, Platinum, and Mercury, three more Metal Men, searching for the missing Tin. Suddenly, bits of Tin rain down on the quartet, who realize that, like Iron, Tin has been knocked to pieces. Tin's head begs forgiveness from "Beautiful" and Batman wonders what ever happened to the seventh member of the metallic team of heroes.

Batman telephones Doc Magnus, creator of the Metal Men, who flies to Gotham City. When the Dark Knight asks the scientist about Tin's forgotten girlfriend, whom he called Beautiful and the others called Nameless, Doc recalls the Metal Women and Platinum Man, robots he once built to serve as companions for the team but who didn't work out and were destroyed. When Lead is located with a message etched on his back saying that "This is for Nameless," Batman is shocked to see that none of the Metal Men remember the female robot that Tin built as a companion for himself.

Mercury, Gold, and Platinum are suddenly attacked by the Gas Gang, creatures that destroy Gold and Mercury and accuse the trio of having left Nameless to die. Doc Magnus arrives and rebuilds the Metal Men, but at the last moment, Batman stops him from erasing their memories. When they awaken, they are attacked by the Missile Men, who are led by Platinum Man, who's not dead after all. After a big battle, Batman escapes and investigates a fissure in the Earth where the Metal Women and Platinum Man were thought to have been destroyed. He finds a giant robot named B.O.L.T.S., an old enemy of the Metal Men, and manages to defeat him.

Back at the lab, Platinum Man orders the Missile Men to destroy the Metal Men, but suddenly Nameless/Beautiful appears and is reunited with an overjoyed Tin. She explains that she and Platinum Man were badly damaged but rebuilt each other. He fell in love with her and rebuilt various enemies of the Metal Men to get revenge on them and Doc Magnus. The Metal Men's creator performs a wedding ceremony to unite Tin and Beautiful, but she gives her life in order to destroy a Missile Man that is about to blow up.

Jack: That was a lot of plot for seventeen pages, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. I loved seeing the Metal Men and all of their obscure enemies (and friends) pop up and I thought both script and art were top-notch. Kudos to Batman for recalling so many details of the Metal Men's adventures!

Peter: The art is fantastic and the hook that Charlie Boatner hangs "Whatever Happened to..." on is a fascinating nugget. That sort of nostalgia digging is what made Roy Thomas and Kurt Busiek so readable. But the script is way too hectic and confusing; I couldn't make heads or tails out of what was going on. At some point, I think my brain went on auto-pilot and I just looked at the pretty pitchers. The climax is sad rather than maudlin; that counts for something.

"Arena of Despair!"

Story by Cary Burkett

Art by Dan Spiegle

While Kingston has his house rigged with booby-traps, Nemesis works on a new weapon. Kingston's men kidnap Marjorie Marshall and, when Nemesis learns of her abduction, he tracks down Roadrunner in Times Square in order to learn that Kingston is behind it. Nemesis flies to Houston, parachutes into Kingston's compound, and makes his way into the house, unaware that Kingston's men await.

Jack: Another eight pages of The Brave and the Bold gone to waste. This series just keeps going even though it never gets anywhere. The art is terrible and the characters are not interesting. I peeked ahead and it looks like about a half-dozen issues to go with Nemesis.

Peter: Rather than this boring, dim-witted multi-chapter saga we've been forced to swallow, how about Cary Burkett writes a Nemesis installment on how Roadrunner gets his info. That's what I want to see. Do all the bad guys in town call him up and say "Hey, bro, Mrs. Miller's been kidnapped by the Statler Brothers. I know that has nothing to do with you but I just thought you might like to know!" or does he sniff through the streets for his intel? It's nice to see Nemesis doing some line work in his downtime but, coincidentally, the guy draws just as badly as Spiegle! And that panel to my left gives evidence that Nemesis was also working on a growth formula as well.

Next Week...
You'll believe it'sa
rainin' all ovah the world!