Rising from the ashes of the beloved (if erratic) print digest (that itself rose from the ashes of The Scream Factory magazine), we'd like to welcome you to the bare•bones e-zine. We look forward to offering the same irreverent reviews and commentary you've come to expect from us. And yes, we're back in PRINT, too! Click the links to the right to check out our recent issues!
I devour the BFI Best Films of All Time list whenever they deem it necessary to revise and I (invariably) disagree with most of the findings, but I still get a kick out of browsing. Same with Rolling Stone's inane Best 100 Albums (how does Sgt. Pepper drop from #1 to #24 in the latest incarnation?); the anger I feel subsides when I see they've put a couple of Aerosmith albums on the list! We all disagree with that number one but we keep right on scrolling through each choice.
This project, which has been percolating for quite a while, originated from the constant, back and forth, "good natured bickering" between John Scoleri and myself. John invariably loves everything and I hate it all (for more of the discourse, I advise one and all to pick up a copy of bare•bones print magazine and read our debates about streaming and movie theaters to get a taste). I began to think it would be fun to compose a Favorite (as opposed to Best) 100 and compare our selections. Making it even more tantalizing, I managed to talk the third head of Ghidorah, Jack Seabrook, into participating. This could be interesting, since John's never seen a movie the two Georges (Romero and Lucas) didn't have a hand in, and Jack usually favors the flicks that have words at the bottom of the screen (dis-moi que j'ai tort, Jack!). I, on the other hand, can't wait to educate these two gentlemen as to what constitutes good cinema.
Every Thursday, we'll count down our picks two at a time. We're hoping this will generate discourse outside of our trio. Let us know just how crazy we are. This is going to be fun!—Peter
A History of Violence (2005)
Starring: Viggo Mortenson, Maria Bello, Ed Harris
Directed by: David Cronenberg
"My husband does not know you. He wouldn't know you, somebody like you."
This is a deceptively easy movie to summarize once you've seen it but, while you're watching it for the first time, the pieces take a long time to fit together. Mortenson's Tom Stall sure seems like Smalltown, USA's most loved diner owner, a guy who'd give you that piece of pie and coffee for free if you were down on your luck; he'd be the first one out to the neighbors' place to help put out the barn fire. After some trouble at the diner involving two psychopaths lands him on the nationwide news, you can see he's very uncomfortable with the attention. But surely that's because he really doesn't believe himself to be a hero, right?
When mobster Ed Harris comes to town and harasses Tom, telling him he knows his real identity, it's surely a horrific case of mistaken identity, right? Family man Tom couldn't really be gangster Joey Cusack, hiding from his past, could he? Once you know the twist, you can look for the clues, and David Cronenberg does not cheat. That's a very important point. A lot of these "he's not who he seems to be" flicks will manipulate characters, dialogue, and situations to fit their ultimate surprise reveal, but Cronenberg leaves a trail of breadcrumbs (the way Mortenson watches himself on TV and shakes his head can be construed differently on the second viewing), almost hoping you'll see what's coming. Once we do find out the big secret and Viggo's demeanor changes, it's done organically, as if Tom Stall might just have a split personality.
This cast is top-notch, from Mortenson to the incredibly sexy Bello to the never more hammy William Hurt (in what could only be described as a glorified cameo). In an interesting contrast, Mortenson would work with Cronenberg again two years later in Eastern Promises, a movie that takes the premise of History and reverses it.—Peter
Remarks from the Gallery
Jack: I saw this in a theater when it came out. I remember that my wife and I were on vacation somewhere and knew nothing about it. We walked in cold and I was blown away. This should probably be on my list. Viggo Mortenson and Ed Harris are great in it, but William Hurt just cracked me up. His scene near the end is a classic.
John: Undoubtedly a great flick—perhaps Cronenberg's best. And one that was under consideration for my top 100 but didn't quite make the cut on the day. A fantastic cast (Ed Harris, who is always great, is particularly good in this), but I have to call out the one you failed to mention—Maria Bello. She's great as Tom's wife, who's learning about his history along with the audience.
To Be or Not To Be (1942)
Starring: Jack Benny and Carole Lombard
Directed by: Ernst Lubitsch
When the Nazis invade Poland in 1942, the members of a Polish acting troupe must rise to the occasion to stop a spy from exposing members of the underground resistance movement.
This has always been one of my favorites and rewatching it recently I found that it was as good as ever. The movie is a delight from start to finish. It was filmed right before the U.S. entered the war, but it was released in early 1942, after Pearl Harbor. Jack Benny is very funny as "that great, great Polish actor, Joseph Tura" (as he says of himself more than once) and Carole Lombard is extremely good as his wife, an actress with a fondness for handsome young men. Twenty-two-year-old Robert Stack plays the Polish-American flyer with a crush on her, and the entire cast is perfect, from Sig Ruman as Ehrhardt ("So they call me concentration camp Ehrhardt!") to Felix Bressart as the actor who just wants his moment to shine, to Lionel Atwill as an actor who is such a ham that he almost blows their cover.
If you haven't seen To Be or Not To Be, watch it! It influenced Mel Brooks in The Producers and he then remade it in 1983.—Jack
Remarks from the Gallery:
Peter: You stumped me again, Mr. Seabrook! I've heard of Jack Benny and Carole Lombard but never heard of the flick. I've definitely heard of Joe Tura (inside joke).
John: I was aware of the Mel Brooks remake but too haven't seen either version.
One of the creepiest films on my list. Yes, modern audiences will likely see where things are going from the outset, but let's be honest, what makes the film great is not any sort of plot twist, but the haunting nightmare visuals throughout. Hilligoss's wide-eyed performance is certainly odd, but it somehow works in this context. And Gene Moore delivers just the right spooky score to underline the visuals.
There are so many great scenes, but the one that always gives me goosebumps is when Hilligoss is in the shrink's office and he turns around in his chair. The simple dark circles around the eyes makeup is so chillingly effective; kudos to director and star Harvey for being the scariest actor/director in the history of cinema. And in a film filled with... creepy people... the creepiest may be the lecherous next door neighbor, brilliantly portrayed by Sidney Berger!—John
Remarks from the Gallery
Peter: Not bad. When I was a kid I saw this three or four times and still couldn't keep it separate in my brain from Curtis Harrington's Night Tide. Yeah, I know, completely different flicks, but same kind of weird atmosphere.
Jack: I must have seen this long ago but I don't really remember it. I feel like it was circulating in a crummy print.
Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Starring: Tobey Maguire, Alfred Molina, Kirsten Dunst
Directed by Sam Raimi
"Peter Parker? 'Brilliant but lazy.'"
Growing up, The Amazing Spider-Man was my favorite comic title; its writer, the late, great Gerry Conway, just seemed to come up with hook after hook (most of them used as foundation for the movies). I was lucky enough to experience the wonders of the early 1970s arcs like The Death of Gwen, The Death of the Goblin, The Gwen-Clone, The Jackal/Professor Warren, and The Punisher. When I heard Sam Raimi would be helming Spider-Man (2001), I was thrilled, but the finished product was less than thrilling. It's okay, don't get me wrong, but that Goblin uni pretty much ruins the flick for me.
So, I went into Spider-Man 2 with lowered expectations but found quickly that Raimi had finally figured it out; Alfred Molina's Doc Ock is the best realization of any of the Spidey villains on screen. The trick is to portray the bad guy as a real man and therefore a real threat, as opposed to Willem Dafoe's hammy Norman Osborn. The script (with a helping hand from novelist/comic book enthusiast Michael Chabon) is packed with the kind of self-reflecting dialogue you don't usually associate with guys in spandex. The El scene manages to sustain an incredible amount of suspense even if you do know how it's going to resolve itself. And, as much as I like Tom Holland as Spidey in the new cycle, Tobey Maguire is Peter Parker.
Alas, this was the last time we'd experience that kind of Spidey movie for several years (Spider-Man3 was a bloated, rambling disaster and don't get me started on the two Andrew Garfield crapfests), but hold on to this one, the second best Marvel superhero movie of all time.-Peter
Remarks from the Gallery
Jack: Ah, for the good old days when Marvel movies were fun! I liked the first Spider-Man movie a lot, but I agree with you that this one was even better, in large part due to Alfred Molina as Doc Ock. Tobey Maguire was a great choice to play Peter Parker. Now you have me wondering what your #1 Marvel flick is!
John: For me, Spider-Man was the beginning of the end (for a while, anyway) of the great Sam Raimi. And while we are in agreement that this one is the best of the Tobey Maguire cycle, I cannot agree that he was the best Spider-Man. Garfield was different, but not drastically better. For my money, Tom Holland is Peter Parker/Spider-Man. 'Nuff said.
Stagecoach (1939)
Starring: John Wayne, Claire Trevor, Thomas Mitchell
Directed by: John Ford
In the Old West, an eclectic group of folks travel by stagecoach from Arizona to New Mexico and are joined by the Ringo Kid, who has just escaped from prison and who vows to avenge the murder of his father and brother when they reach their destination. Can they make it to Lordsburg without being killed by Apaches?
Rewatching this classic today, it holds up well and gets better as it goes along. Stagecoach made John Wayne a star and it's easy to see why; as the Ringo Kid, he is tough and tender, a crack shot and kind to Dallas, the prostitute who has been run out of town by the upstanding wives. Claire Trevor is excellent as Dallas, both tough and gentle, and by the end of the movie she has won over her fellow passengers. Thomas Mitchell won a well-deserved Oscar for playing drunk Doc Boone, who can't stay away from the bottle but manages to sober up in time to deliver an unexpected baby en route.
I could go on and on about the great cast! Don't miss John Carradine as a Virginia dandy who fought in the Civil War and who comes within moments of killing the new mother in order to prevent her from being violated when the Apaches capture the stagecoach. The Indian attack is a thrilling piece of work that features one amazing stunt after another as Apaches get shot and fall off their horses at top speed. Ford's direction is top notch as usual, moving from comedy to drama to action effortlessly.—Jack
Remarks from the Gallery
Peter: Try as I might, I could never get into this one. I'll give it the respect due because it started something big, but Ford and Wayne both (and separately) made so much better later on.
John: Another John Wayne film that I've never gone out of my way to check out.
Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
Starring: Kurt Russell, Dennis Dun, Victor Wong, James Hong
Directed by: John Carpenter
"Are you crazy? Is that your problem?"
There's no such thing as a bad John Carpenter/Kurt Russell pairing, in my opinion. And this one may just be the most quotable of the bunch. Russell's Jack Burton is a classic character. I still recall seeing this in its opening weekend 40 years ago and loving it from the outset. It took time, but it has finally achieved some of the acclaim it has long deserved. It's a great action film, a fantastic comedy, and one of the best US-made martial arts films. Carpenter was years ahead of his time when he made this; back when the sort of wire-fu films were known only to a hardcore contingent of film fans.
Of course the film doesn't entirely rest on Jack Burton's shoulders (his own beliefs to the contrary). Dennis Dun is his perfect partner in this buddy film, and Victor Wong's Egg Chen and James Hong's Lo Pan are perfect icons of good and evil. It's also got a great Carpenter score (I'm even a fan of the theme song Carpenter sings!). There's a part of me that acknowledges this should be higher on my list, but it's just one more example of how tough it can be trying to rank 100 favorites.—John
Remarks from the Gallery
Peter: We'll just agree to disagree on this one. I have vague memories of walking out on this one before it was over. Silly, hammy, and meandering.
Jack: Wasn't this trashed on release? I never saw it. I don't think my list includes a single Carpenter flick.
(r: Strange Tales Annual #1)(r: Tomb of Darkness #18)
"I Was Trapped in Horror House!" (a: Paul Reinman) ★
"The Revenge of the Wooden Woman" (a: Steve Ditko) ★★
"I Am the Beast-Man!" (a: Don Heck) ★★1/2
While rummaging through ancient Egyptian ruins, an archaeologist stumbles upon a strange mechanical device hidden beneath the desert. When he flips the switch on the panel, he gets the shock of his life as the nearby sphinx rises up and begins to talk to him. It introduces itself to the excavator as "Shagg, warrior from the third galaxy" and lays out its plot for world domination.
Our hero is drawn within the idol itself and must watch as Shagg works itself across the globe, destroying everything in its path. At one point, riddled with guilt, he screams "I Unleashed Shagg Upon the World!" but, alas, no one can hear him. After destroying Paris (and defeating the "battle-hardened" Parisian troops), Shagg decides America is where it's at and makes the long journey to the States. Reaching New York, Shagg is able to lay waste to skyscrapers while, at the same time, having an inner monologue with his prisoner.
When Shagg spills the beans about a future invasion by the "fellow third galaxy warriors" who awakened him, our intrepid archaeologist reminds the big lunk that it was he, the puny human, who activated the switchboard. "Ah crap," the sphinx grumbles, "that means my backup ain't arrived yet. I'm too early!" Realizing that a few nukes could surely destroy a lone third galaxy warrior, Shagg uses his Cosmo-Gamma-Electro-Magnetic Wave-Doohickey™ to reassemble all the buildings he's damaged and erase all traces of himself from the minds of earthlings. He then heads back to Egypt for another slumber. With his memory erased, our hero, who fortunately took copious notes while he was terrified for his life, ponders whether the scrawl on the paper is from a fevered brain or whether Shagg will return another day!
These giant monster thrillers are pretty much criticism-safe since they're all loony and make little sense. That said, I always like to point out some of the more... imaginative aspects such as Shagg's boast that he comes from the "Third Galaxy." Is that meant to be third galaxy from our galaxy or third galaxy from the left or... which galaxy does Earth reside in?
In the formulaic "I Was Trapped in Horror House!," an escaped con finds himself hiding out in a carnival haunted house and, in the end, realizes it's actually the gateway to Hell. Well, Stan can't use the word "Hell" because that's a bad thing and the CCA would swoop in and shut Atlas down in a heartbeat, so he does the next best thing and shows the grim reaper and a sign outside the attraction that promises any who enter will meet their "true fate." Truly awful, with a microwaved script and rough panels courtesy of Paul Reinman.
Captain Cork loves only one thing more than the sea and that's the figurehead on his schooner, the beautiful Valkyrie. One dark day, pirates board Cork's ship and toss the Captain and his crew into a small rowboat with enough rations to last two days. Laughing, the pirates head off for treasures and adventures to come, little knowing that they will soon face "The Revenge of the Wooden Woman!" It's all very predictable (but then there are very few surprises to be found in Atlas Comics by 1960), but it's also a charming fantasy with some typically top-notch graphics from Mr. Ditko. If I was a ten year old kid in the Summer of '60 who knew nothing about good art, I'd be watching and waiting for this unnamed penciler who seemed to be able to make the most mundane of subjects magical and other-worldly. That said, the atmospheric splash (above) looks nothing like Steve's usual work.
You say, Peter, if these things are so formulaic and cliche-ridden and, sometimes downright boring, why do you keep reading the damned things? Good question, one that I and my writing partner ask ourselves and each other at least 15-20 times a week, depending on how many stories we have to read. My answer? "I Am the Beast-Man!"
Secret Commie agent Igor Grozick boards a Russkie sub, armed with the most deadly disguise known to Western Civilization: a bear suit. No, now hang on, don't scoff. Just be patient. Igor's plot is to "sail" (in a life raft) from international waters (it's very hazy as to where the Russkies drop him off) to America and infiltrate the nuclear testing site just before a bomb is blasted, pose as a bear and, eventually, unmask the Americans for the fools they are. Igor easily does this despite the fact that he's on foot, has no visible food or water, and Nevada is hundreds of miles away from any seaport. Stop thinking for a moment and just go with the flow.
Anyway, our stinkin' commie protagonist manages to get to the site just as the bomb goes off and then waits patiently with his bear suit on for the scientists to arrive. When the big thinkers show up, Igor confronts them with a "talking bear" routine, explaining that the radiation from the bomb test has given him the power of speech. The scientists are awestruck (and apparently blind) and take their modern miracle back to the lab. When faced with examination and possible dissection, Igor reminds his captors that, under the Geneva Convention, bears have the same rights as humans and can deny any probing or bodily intrusions.
Once the word gets out, Igor becomes a public sensation, appearing on the Ed Sullivan Show, giving lectures on hibernation and, at the United Nations, answering that age-old question, "Does a bear..." Just before he announces his intent to run on the next Republican Party ticket, Igor gets word from his bosses that it's time to take the suit off and show the American people just how gullible and stupid they are. He tells his audience that he must have a moment alone, heads in to his dressing room to finally take this stupid bear costume off, and (suhprize suhprize suhprize) finds that the disguise is now permanent. Igor looks at himself in the mirror, shrugs, and decides maybe it's not the Americans who are the дурацкий.
Now this is what I call a story. "I Am the Beast-Man!" made me laugh out loud more than Trump's recent "election integrity" speech, topping every inane twist along the way. I won't take up much more of your time but let's examine Igor's trip from sub to Nevada. I would assume the vessel dropped Igor somewhere off the Gulf of Mexico, which means he would have had to paddle several miles and then walk at least 1500 miles in a single day (Igor notes by morning I was at my destination...) across desert and mountains without any visible transport. With a large bear suit in his attache. Then he sits through the radioactive fallout, never exhibiting any side effects, and calmly converses with some very highly skilled and super-intelligent scientists while wearing a bear suit. The first thing I'd be thinking, were I Ivan, would be: can they see my face through this stupid mouth hole? Second, I'd think about the fact that my words don't synch with my lips. Then I'd worry that maybe that really big zipper on my back isn't hidden properly. Perhaps the Russkies were right; the Americans are gullible morons.
Perhaps my favorite image from "I Am the Beast-Man!" is Igor, standing on stage, holding his speech in his paws, debating the pros and cons of hibernation with a room full of hoity-toitys. This is comedic gold and the proof that even Stan had a sense of humor now and then. That is, if Stan meant it to be a joke.-Peter
Tales of Suspense #10
Cover by Jack Kirby & Steve Ditko
"I Brought the Mighty Cyclops Back to Life!" ★★
(a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers)
(r: Where Monsters Dwell #1)
"I Was Trapped in Nightmare Valley" (a: Paul Reinman) ★
(r: Where Monsters Dwell #4)
"Behind My Door Waits... Medusa!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★★★
(r: Where Monsters Dwell #4)
"I Am the Shaggy Creature" (a: Don Heck) ★★
Duncan, a spoiled, rich young man who's never grown up, is on a boat ride with his girlfriend, the luscious Amanda, and he pops the question. Amanda turns him down, citing the fact that Duncan is a spoiled, rich young man who's never grown up, and then watches as Duncan proves her point by sulking. Ignoring possible danger, Duncan steers the craft into a fog bank and shudders as the ship hits something solid. Turns out the couple have run aground on an uncharted Mediterranean island and they make the best of their misfortune by having a look around the snow-covered landscape.
After scaling a steep mountain, Amanda and her halfwit beau stumble upon a terrifying discovery beneath the ice: the giant Cyclops of mythological lore! Sensing he's found the greatest archaeological relic of the 20th century, Duncan grabs an axe and starts chopping away, dollar signs flashing in his eyes. Though Amanda tries to talk him out of it, Duncan keeps swinging and soon the monster is free. Sure enough, the one-eyed behemoth rises from his icy tomb and chases the couple into a narrow crevice in the mountain. While it's trying to root them out, a ship appears on the horizon and the giant decides he wants a larger meal.
Duncan, feeling guilty as hell, exclaims "I Brought the Mighty Cyclops Back to Life!" and tricks the monster into walking on thin ice. Falling through the thin glacier, the Cyclops is trapped... until the next adventurer comes along. Amanda, seeing a vibrant he-man hero for the first time, agrees to be Mrs. Duncan and the couple sail off into the sunset. Though the script for "Cyclops" mines the same territory as King Kong, the art is dazzling. Though not as chilling as the Harryhausen version, this Cyclops is still a formidable figure and thankfully doesn't spend time delivering speeches about his past conquests or what he intends to do when he reaches the mainland; he just menaces. I have to also admit that this story holds a fond place in my nostalgic funny-book heart. I still remember walking into Thrifty Drugs at the ripe old age of eight and begging my mom to fork over fifteen cents for the first issue of Where Monsters Dwell, the cover subject of which was this here Cyclops. I took that comic home and read it to tatters.
In the drab "I Was Trapped in Nightmare Valley!," a hunter heads into a forbidden Himalayan region despite the warnings of the locals. Turns out aliens landed there centuries before and possessed the local foliage. The trees are just waiting for their time to conquer Earth. Just then, a volcano erupts and wipes out the threat. Thank goodness for that. Much better is Steve Ditko's "Behind My Door Waits... Medusa!" An old man in a curio shop relates the tale of how he came to possess a very lifelike statue of a terrified man. Behind an ornately carved door sits the most famous of the gorgon sisters, just waiting for her next victim. Of course, the customers who inquire then scoff at the old man's story, but none dares open the door. Some really special graphics here by Ditko; we never actually see Medusa, just a brief glance (and even then it looks like her mane is alive with bucatini rather than vipers), but the penciling is so detailed we never even give that a second thought. Like "Cyclops," this is one I vividly remember from the early days of Where Monsters Dwell.
Last up is "I Am the Shaggy Creature," wherein really smart genius and "world's greatest scientist" Victor Phillips is on the run from the police for making "fool-proof burglar tools" (!) and must hide out somewhere they won't suspect. He quickly whips up a potion that will turn him into a gorilla and just as quickly invents an antidote. He grabs both vials and heads off to a local carnival where he hides in one of the tents. When the cops finally trace Phillips to his hideout, he downs his formula and jumps into the gorilla cage, antidote at the ready. Unfortunately, Phillips doesn't allow for monkey body... monkey brain. Another strip that highlights just how squanderous these Atlas big brains could be. Phillips has the know-how to invent lots of legal, money-rich devices and he chooses to excel at a better safe cracker. Heck's art is adequate but it's the humorous final panel that wins the day.-Peter
Tales to Astonish #10
Cover by Jack Kirby & Steve Ditko
"I Was Trapped by Titano the Monster That Time Forgot!"
(a: Jack Kirby & Joe Sinnott) ★1/2
(r: Tower of Shadows #7)
"Only I Know When the World Will End!!!" (a: Don Heck) ★1/2
(r: Fear #1)
"Something Lurks Inside!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★★
(r: Fear #1)
"What Was the Strange Power of Simon Drudd!!" ★★
(a: Jack Kirby & Christopher Rule)
(r: Fear #1)(r: Crazy #76)
A humongous crab known as Titano has started appearing in various watery spots around the globe. It's so big that no one has ever seen more than a portion of the creature. The U.S. Navy is assigned to locate and destroy Titano, so they set out to sea and quickly find him. A descent by bathysphere gives the Navy men the first glimpse of the big fella, and soon an officer named Hartnell hatches a plan. A submarine is painted with luminous paint to attract Tinano's attention and passes by him. Titano gives chase and the sub heads north until it reaches the arctic. Just as Titano lunges for the underwater vessel, it swerves, and Titano is trapped in a glacier!
I am a bit concerned by what I just read in "I Was Trapped By Titano the Monster That Time Forgot." In the last panel, the Navy men wonder what will happen if the glacier thaws. With today's concerns about global warming, how long will it be before we start seeing online reports of Titano sightings? What then?
Why is everyone searching for the man known only as Kartu? He sits alone in a cave in Virginia and thinks back to his sudden, unexpected appearance on Earth, when he turned up in midtown Manhattan, claiming that he was from another planet. Kartu was taken to a hospital, where he said that he came from the planet Aqua-Centurius. He had been vacationing on Sertius Major and was on his way home when he suddenly found himself in a space and time warp that cast him into NYC. The only problem was that he knew that Earth was going to be destroyed the next day when a runaway planet crashed into it!
No one listened to him and he made his escape into the Blue Ridge Mountains. The next day, astronomers witnessed one planet collide with another and destroy it! Everyone realized that Kartu was telling the truth but had gotten mixed up about which planet he was on. Unfortunately, they can't make use of his knowledge because he's in hiding.
"Only I Know When the World Will End!!!" features average Heck art and a story that is a variation on others we've seen before. I'm getting tired of stories that begin in the middle and then have the main character think back to how it all began. I'm also tired of the titles with someone exclaiming, "I Know This or That!"
Ted Karson is the first man sent into outer space. When his ship returns, it circles the Earth and he sends no radio message. People wonder why! When a capsule is dropped from the ship, it's assumed to be a bomb, and his ship is destroyed. The capsule lands and is opened to reveal Karson's flight log.
He wrote that, on his way back to Earth, he landed on Planet X, where he discovered a race of evil, giant spiders. Karson rushed back to his ship, only to find spiders inside. He realized that they traveled on radio waves! One of the creatures bit him and he discovered that he carried a horribly contagious infection. He could not return to Earth and he could not send a radio message that the spiders could use to travel to our planet. His ship had to be destroyed and, by doing so, Earth was saved. A statue is erected to Karson, the man who saved his planet.
The story in "Something Lurks Inside!" is unusually clever and Ditko does his usual good job of illustrating it. This doesn't seem like a retread of a narrative we've read before, so it's more enjoyable than most of the Atlas tales.
A pair of scientists, Bentley and Simon Drudd, work to develop a serum that will restore youth. Everyone laughs at them, but they persist and finally nail it. Bentley wants to share it with the world, but Drudd wants to keep it for himself, postulating that he can take it over and over, accumulate knowledge, and rule the world! Drudd points a gun at Bentley and locks him in a walk-in freezer. Drudd drinks the serum and gets younger and younger until he ceases to exist. Bentley pulls the burglar alarm and tells the story to the cops when they arrive and let him out.
I was enjoying Kirby being Kirby in "What Was the Strange Power of Simon Drudd!!" until the end, when he fell back on the tired plot device of the scientist getting younger and disappearing. Maybe he watched The Incredible Shrinking Man on TV right before he churned this one out.-Jack
Strange Tales #76
Cover by Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers
"I Am Dragoom! The Flaming Invader!" ★★
(a: Jack Kirby & Dick Ayers)
(r: Where Monsters Dwell #2)(r: Weird Wonder Tales #11)
"Beware!! The Ghosts Surround Me!!" (a: Don Heck) ★
(r: Strange Tales Annual #1) (r: Fantasy Masterpieces #1)
(r: Vault of Evil #19)
"The Dummy and Me!" (a: Paul Reinman) ★
(r: Uncanny Tales #10)
"I Found the Mad Universe!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★★
(r: Uncanny Tales #11)
Victor Cartwright's monster movies are entertaining and profitable, but no one takes him seriously. Then one day, from the planet Vulcan arrives a giant creature made of fire who proclaims, "I Am Dragoom! The Flaming Invader!" Nothing on Earth can stop him and he surrounds the planet with a blanket of flame, making everyone beg for mercy. Dragoom is just settling in as world emperor when he is told of five fire creatures that have arrived in Mexico! He flies there to see them and, believing that they are fiery police from Vulcan, Dragoom flees the Earth, never to return, not realizing that they were just dummies created by the monster movie-maker Victor Cartwright. No one will sneer at him again!
Not bad at all! The end is fairly predictable, but Kirby and Ayers go to town with their depictions of Dragoom. He fills the splash page and takes up more than half of pages three and four. That's a lot of flames to color!
Hans and Gustav commit a robbery in a Transylvanian village and run into the forest. When Hans falls and breaks his leg, Gustav shoots and kills his partner to prevent the man from being caught and revealing his identity to the cops. Deep in the forest, Gustav comes upon a spooky hovel. Inside, he encounters creatures who explain that they live in a parallel dimension--they can't hurt him and he can't hurt them.
Gustav thinks the house is a good hiding place until he passes out. When he awakens, the cops arrive and he's ready to give himself up, but they can't see or hear him because he's now in a different dimension!
What exactly is the point of "Beware!! The Ghosts Surround Me!!"? First of all, there aren't really any ghosts, and they never exactly surround Gustav. Why does he end up in another dimension? Is it the dimension where the creatures live? Who knows? When their dimension is depicted, it resembles a futuristic world, but at the end, Gustav wanders off into a landscape of purple and blue circles. I don't think Carl Wessler was still writing Atlas stories by this point, but the random ending reminds me of something he'd pen.
A ventriloquist has a gambling debt and some crooks show up during his act to collect. After he's done performing on stage, he uses a brief moment of darkness to try to get to his dressing room, where he keeps a gun, but a crook is guarding the door, so the ventriloquist and his dummy head for the prop room. He evades the crooks only to find his gun gone from its drawer. The duo climb out a window and tumble into an alley, where the crooks find them lying on the ground and shoot the tall one. The crooks leave and the short one gets up, relieved that they thought he was the dummy and mistakenly shot the real dummy.
"The Dummy and Me" is just plain awful. Anyone with any sense could see the end coming a mile away. Paul Reinman's art isn't getting any better, either. he's now at the bottom of the Atlas artists.
Professor Dark has built a super-duper microscope that allows him to study the details of the tiniest atom. He discovers that atoms are tiny worlds and on one of them he observes signs of life! Dark witnesses war between the silhouetted creatures and is so horrified that he destroys the microscope. "I Found the Mad Universe!" he tells his assistant, not wanting to display more war and give anyone ideas for new weapons. He calls the atom world--wait for it--Earth!
Auggh! Not again! How many times do we have to suffer through this hackneyed plot and overused surprise ending? Ditko's art is really good, so there's that.-Jack
This Thursday... Jack Extolls the Virtues of Benny and Lombard!
And Next Week... See What Happens When Don Heck Puts His Foot Down and Demands Better Scripts!
I devour the BFI Best Films of All Time list whenever they deem it necessary to revise and (invariably) disagree with most of the findings, but I still get a kick out of browsing. Same with Rolling Stone's inane Best 100 Albums (how does Sgt. Pepper drop from #1 to #24 in the latest incarnation?); the anger I feel subsides when I see they've put a couple of Aerosmith albums on the list! We all disagree with that number one but we keep right on scrolling through each choice.
This project, which has been percolating for quite a while, originated from the constant back and forth "good-natured bickering" between John Scoleri and myself. John invariably loves everything and I hate it all (for more of the discourse, I advise one and all to pick up a copy of bare•bones print magazine and read our debates about streaming and movie theaters to get a taste). I began to think it would be fun to compose a Favorite (as opposed to Best) 100 and compare our selections. Making it even more tantalizing, I managed to talk the third head of Ghidorah, Jack Seabrook, into participating. This could be interesting, since John's never seen a movie the two Georges (Romero and Lucas) didn't have a hand in, and Jack usually favors the flicks that have words at the bottom of the screen (dis-moi que j'ai tort, Jack!). I, on the other hand, can't wait to educate these two gentlemen as to what constitutes good cinema.
Every Thursday, we'll count down our picks two at a time. We're hoping this will generate discourse outside of our trio. Let us know just how crazy we are. This is going to be fun!—Peter
The Poseidon Adventure (1972)Starring: Gene Hackman, Ernest Borgnine, Shelley WintersDirected by: Ronald Neame
"Everyone above us before the ship turned over is dead. Because now they're under the water. There's nobody alive but us. And nobody's going to help us except ourselves. It's up to each one of you. It's up to all of us together. Now, for God's sake, come with me."
I saw The Poseidon Adventure in a packed house (it was one of the Century Theatre domes in San Jose, but I'm fuzzy on which one) on New Year's Eve, 1972. I was eleven years old and a faithful watcher of afternoon TV (Little Rascals, Family Affair, Three Stooges, Courtship of Eddie's Father, didn't matter what it was as long as it was included in that 3-5 PM slot every day), so I would have definitely been aware of Poseidon through Irwin Allen's bombardment of TV ads. The only actors in the cast I was familiar with were Ernie Borgnine (thanks mostly to McHale's Navy and Willard), a face that would only grow in stature (in my movie-going heart, at least) as the years went by, and Roddy McDowell, Cornelius of the Planet of the Apes flicks.
Anyway, there I was in that aforementioned sold-out theatre on the edge of my seat virtually throughout the film and all its twists (Roddy dies???), and for the first time I witnessed what I would call an "epic." There was something big about Poseidon, something my pre-teen brain could not understand. This was different than my other favorite films of 1972 (and I went to the movie theaters just about every day during the summer of '72). This had substance, believable characters, nail-biting action and, in the end, proof that heroes could die. When Hackman lets go of that wheel and falls to his death, I think I let out a gasp but my reaction was lost in a sea of gasps. I've seen The Poseidon Adventure at least a dozen times over the years (and again last week) and it retains its impact. Allen's similar The Towering Inferno would follow two years later and that was fun but The Poseidon Adventure remains the greatest disaster flick ever made. Argue with me.—Peter
Remarks from the Gallery
Jack: No argument here! It's a great movie and one I should've put on my list. I saw it second-run with my friend's family at a dollar theater (The Park Cinema in Roselle Park, NJ), where it was the first movie in a double feature withConrack, featuring Jon Voight. The Poseidon Adventure blew me away and I've seen it many times since then. There are many thrilling moments, as well as some very emotional ones—Shelley Winters swimming back and forth underwater and dying is very moving. Gene Hackman is just great in this. And "The Morning After" is another earworm. Thanks for that.
John: It's probably been 20 years since I saw this on DVD. I have little recollection of it, but I know Vonna is also a fan. I may have to pick up a Blu Ray to give it a fresh assessment.
Pulp Fiction (1994)
Starring: Samuel L. Jackson and John TravoltaDirected by: Quentin Tarantino
Two hit men recover a mysterious briefcase and one is convinced that God saved him.
I resisted watching Pulp Fictionfor years because I'm a contrarian, as Peter likes to remind me. I saw Kill Bill one night on a business trip to Chicago and immediately wanted to see every other Tarantino movie. Pulp Fictionis not my favorite, but the final scene (and a few other things) led me to include it on my Top 100 list.
The language, drug use, and violence turn me off. The writing is great in spots and Samuel L. Jackson gives an unforgettable performance. John Travolta is darn good, too, and it's hard to tell at times how smart his character really is. The choice of songs on the soundtrack is incredible, and of course the dance scene is a classic.
Rewatching it just now, I still can't decide if the movie is an indictment of the characters or a celebration of them. Like Guys and Dolls, lowlife people speak in elevated language. Unfortunately, the scenes with Bruce Willis slow the movie to a crawl. As anyone who's seen it knows, things get so bizarre and disgusting at one point that the fast forward button on the remote control is a must. I kept wondering, as I watched, if it should have been higher on the list or if it should have been left off entirely. But that last scene!—Jack
Remarks from the Gallery
Peter: Well, I'll save my comments on this groundbreaker for another day but I will say that it was unlike anything I'd ever seen at the time. And...
John: Yeah, it seems awfully early to be talking about this one. :) I encountered Reservoir Dogs on LaserDisc, but that made me an instant Tarantino fan, so I was there for this one on opening night, and it blew me away. I agree that the Bruce Willis/Butch sequences aren't as compelling as those with Jules and Vincent (at least until Bruce runs into Marcellus Wallace—literally), but it's so strong despite that. And there's no denying the influence it had on cinema in its wake: a flood of pop culture aware crime films with (attempts at) snappy dialogue and non-linear narratives followed and continue to dribble out to this day.
Testament (1983)
Starring: Jayne Alexander, William Devane, Ross Harris
Directed by: Lynne Littman
"What do we do now?"
Without a doubt the grimmest film on my list, but one that I find myself returning to time and again. If you ever need a reminder to recognize the importance of living every day to its fullest—this is it. Of all the '80s nuclear war films, none has the power of this one, which sidesteps explosions and footage of rampant destruction to focus on the breakdown of society in the wake of a nuclear attack. Based on "The Last Testament," an amazing short story by a local (Sunnyvale, CA) author (Carol Amen—who sadly passed away before I ever had a chance to track her down), you can hear it read by the film's star, Jayne Alexander, on several of the current Blu Ray iterations. It's as heart-wrenching as the film itself.
In addition to Alexander, the main family we follow is comprised of William Devane, Ross Harris (no, not the same Ross Harris who provided the entrails from his butcher shop for use in Night of the Living Dead), Roxana Zal (whom you might remember from River's Edge), and a young Lukas Haas (2 years before Witness). I wonder if the film resonated with me more in that the family makeup mirrored my own (a family of five; three kids, two boys, and a girl in the middle). It's also got a great (restrained) James Horner score. Watch for cameos from Rebecca DeMornay and Kevin Costner.—John
Remarks from the Gallery
Peter: I remember seeing this on first run at the Meridian Quad and liking it quite a bit. Testament was released right around the same time The Day After popped up on ABC and the latter stole all the glory. Testament, as you say, is a powerful and quiet movie. But most powerful nuclear holocaust flick of the 1980s? I'll see your Testament and raise you Threads.
Jack: I've never heard of this one! I saw my share of nuclear war films in the '80s but I must have missed this one.
The Ox-Bow Incident (1943)
Starring: Henry Fonda, Harry Morgan, Dana AndrewsDirected by: William A. Wellman
There might not be another movie quite as powerful and disturbing as The Ox-Bow Incident, a flick I first saw in my eighth grade English class. Even then, at the age of thirteen, I recognized that this was much different than the usual fodder our teacher fed us visually (although I must say she was ahead of her time in showing us Jerry Lewis's Visit to a Small Planet); it upset me deeply then and, upon a recent viewing, it upsets me even more now. Though the novel was written in 1940 (by Walter Van Tilburg Clark) and the film released in 1943, Ox-Bow is depressingly timely when one considers Renee Good and Alex Pretti.
Three ranchers are rounded up and hanged by a mad posse, working independent of the law, who believe the men to have murdered a friend and stolen his cattle. Only seven men in the posse abstain and that includes Henry Fonda and Harry Morgan, two men who are swept up in the drama but appeal for calm and clear thinking. Their pleas fall on deaf ears. The crazed and righteous men (and one woman) who make up the vigilante squad only want one thing: to watch the three men swing. There's no last second reprieve. No happy ending. Just an emotional wallop that will stay with you for a long, long time.—Peter
Remarks from the Gallery
Jack: I must have seen this at some point, but I'm a bit fuzzy on it. It sure sounds like one I'd like. Fonda was always great.
John: I've never see this one, and I guess I need to rectify that oversight.
Rashomon (1950)
Starring: Toshiro Mifune
Directed by Akira Kurosawa
In Samurai-era Japan, a Samurai is killed and his wife is raped in a clearing in a forest. A local bandit is captured and tried for the crime, but when he, the woman, and the spirit of the samurai (speaking through a medium) all tell different versions of what happened, who is telling the truth, if anyone? A monk and a woodcutter observe the trial and later try to figure out what really happened. The woodcutter has a secret that adds more to the sense of confusion and fate.
In creating my list of 100 favorite movies, I wanted to avoid the trap of putting too many movies by any one director on my list, so I only have two Kurosawa films included. Watching Rashomon again, I was struck both by how riveting it is and by how beautifully it's directed. Shot after shot, camera setup after camera setup, left me marveling at the work of the director and cinematographer. Toshiro Mifune was such a great actor that I could probably watch just about anything that he was in. I'm a big fan of Japanese films and literature; my favorite living novelist is Haruki Murakami.—Jack
Remarks from the Gallery
Peter: I've heard great things but never seen this one.
John: Similarly, this is another one that's in my library that I haven't yet watched, though I've never been dissatisfied with a Kurosawa/Mifune pairing. I just booked a screening at the Alamo Drafthouse in July, so I'm looking forward to my introduction to it on the big screen!
The Stepfather (1987)
Starring: Terry O'Quinn, Shelley Hack, Jill Schoelen
Directed by: Joseph Ruben
"Wait a minute, who am I here?"
One of the great thrillers to come out of the late '80s, based on a story by Donald Westlake and Brian Garfield. This put both Terry O'Quinn and Jill Schoelen on the map for me. O'Quinn is a family man who just happens to also be a serial killer. He's married to Shelley Hack; Schoelen is his current stepdaughter. She thinks there's something off about him, and while that's probably a common theme in such family dynamics, in this case, it's not just paranoia on her part. The caliber of the writing team (Westlake also wrote the screenplay) is what I think raises the bar on this one. The cat and mouse nature of the story plays out perfectly, twisting and turning so the audience is constantly kept on their toes.
This film features one of those career defining performances that you can't help but think of when you see the actor in other roles. Whether it was Howard Hughes in The Rocketeer or John Locke in Lost, at first glance, I always suspect there's an underlying evil that's going to show up eventually in Terry O'Quinn's characters. As for Schoelen, she did her share of lesser horror films in the wake of The Stepfather, but she managed to have a varied career outside the genre. I have followed her career based on this performance; her unique, husky voice is a defining characteristic!—John
Remarks from the Gallery
Peter: I think Westlake was the draw for me (I'd already started reading the Parker novels by '87) but there was also a buzz about The Stepfather, that it was a cut above the usual slasher flick (not that I'm identifying it with that genre), especially in the acting and writing departments. The buzz was correct for once. In our The Scream Factory survey of the 1980s (in issue #7), The Stepfather landed at #8 on my Top Ten Horror Films of the 1980s.
Jack: I must have seen this at some point. It's based on the John List murders that happened in Westfield, NJ, in 1971. My family moved to Westfield in 1973, when I was 10, and I remember the posters in the luncheonette downtown with a picture of List and a question—"Have you seen this man?" I was scared that he might still be lurking nearby. His house later burned down. I could take you to where it stood if you're ever out this way!
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