Journey Into Strange Tales Issue 148: Atlas/Marvel Science Fiction & Horror Comics!

 

The Marvel/Atlas 
Horror Comics

Part 133

January 1957 Part II

by Peter Enfantino

and Jack Seabrook

Marvel Tales #154

Cover by John Severin

"Something in the Sea!" (a: Paul Reinman) ★★1/2

"I Live in Fear" (a: Bob Powell) ★★

"The Mystery of the Black Box" (a: Jay Scott Pike) ★1/2

"The Hidden Man!" (a: Dave Berg) ★★★

"The Stranger's Suitcase!" (a: Bill Walton) ★

"The Black Raven" (a: Syd Shores) ★★★

Seaman Allen Bale patiently listens to an old sea salt relate a fantastic tale about a voyage the old timer once took. On that trip, the ship he was on, the Sea Hawk, crashed into a gigantic iceberg. Studying the damage to his bow, Bale was amazed to see a giant eye in the iceberg. Soon, it swam away and the tar was amazed to see that the chunk of ice was actually a white whale. 

No one on board would believe him and the owner of the boat deemed him too dangerous to let sail. So he sits on a dock and tells his fantastic tale to anyone who will stop and listen. Bale scoffs at the sailor's story and walks away. Weeks later, a similar incident occurs on the boat that Bale is sailing on; sure enough, a giant white whale attacks the ship but only he sees it. Bale is called a loon and heads for the dock to apologize to the old man for mocking him, only to discover that he is the old man.

"Something in the Sea!" is a little hazy at the climax (it doesn't really add up) but at least something different was given a try and the atmospheric Reinman graphics make the journey worth it.  

A brilliant scientist tests out his new invisibility gizmo on his best friend, Jerry, a reporter. Smelling a good story or two, the newsman heads out into the population to invade privacy as no other reporter can. But Jerry soon screams "I Live in Fear!" when he discovers a secret race of invisible men who are out to get him. Another average SF tale enlivened by the artists' bullpen, this time Bob Powell, who brings a smart, sophisticated, throwback style to just about anything he does. Anyone desiring a big dose of Powell should check out the IDW hardcover, Bob Powell's Terror, chock-full of the artist's incredible work for Harvey. You can read the drooling, stark raving mad ravings by Jose Cruz and I about Bob Powell's Harvey stories here. And (unabashed promo) look out for our book-length study of the Harvey horror comics sometime next year.

Veteran criminal Nick Barto has just shot a man and is on the run from the cops. He hides out in his attic, where he finds a mysterious black box. The cops break in the door just as Nick is dropping his weapon in, and they make the collar. They take the violent criminal down to the precinct and present their lieutenant with the box and the goon. The boss opens the box and... no gun! At that very moment, 150 years in the past, Roland Barton, Nick's great-great-great cousin twice removed, steals a load of jewels and takes them home, where his wife scolds him and calls the police. Roland drops his bounty into a mysterious black box and comes away with a very peculiar pistol, one that he immediately knows doesn't need to be reloaded, uses 240-grain loads, and fires at a velocity of 1750 fps. Where did it come from?

Roland's wife takes the heater out of his hands and, for some reason, drops it back into the box, telling her hubby he's going to take his punishment like a man. Years in the future, the handgun drops out of the black box and the cuffs are placed on Nick Barto's wrists. What is "The Mystery of the Black Box!"? More lazy writing from pulpmeister Wessler, utilizing a prop that should probably be placed on ice for a while. Does it just seem like there's a black box story every month? I did emit a few chuckles at Carl's dreadfully purple prose: Neither Nick Barton nor the police knew of the box's unbreakable connection with the past! Nor did they know that the past was part of an endless time cycle that goes on forever in the universe! Jay Scott Pike is not at his peak.

Wessler fares much better with "The Hidden Man!," a complex, enjoyable little espionage romp featuring Stan's favorite bad guys, the stinking commies! The head of the underground, Ivar Pulescu, must be located and put to death before civilians rise up against their stinking government. Two agents, Rimak and Lota, are put in charge and each one independently hits the streets for information. Lota visits a local genius scientist who temporarily changes the agent's face to that of Pulescu, all the better to ingratiate himself to the political enemy's best friends and catch the criminal himself. When Lota finally tracks down and arrests Pulescu, of course it turns out to be Rimak, who visited the same brilliant scientist! Guess who Pulescu was? "The Hidden Man!" can get a bit complicated (much like the John Travolta/Nicolas Cage thriller, Face/Off) but I'll take complicated over cliche any day. And how many good commie yarns were to be found in the pages of Atlas in 1957? Probably one. Suitably noir-ish Berg work.

A mysterious man pays an engineer a boatload of money to build him the world's fastest roller-coaster. When the ride is finished, the mystery man hops on for the first ride and when the ride is over, the man has disappeared. Suddenly, a man from the bank arrives to let the engineer know that the money taken from "The Stranger's Suitcase!" is from the fourth dimension. And the guy on the thousand dollar bill looks just like Larry David. More time traveling? Three pages of utter filler. 

Last up is "The Black Raven," an engaging, humorous tale of three dopey criminals who steal the titular idol in order to find the fabled, priceless Kaffir diamond. Myth has it that the bird will point in the direction of the gem and point it does. Through several mishaps and dangerous animal attacks, the trio find themselves in Africa. Two of the goons drop out and head home, leaving the final thief to face a pride of lions on one side and a snake pit on the other. Believing the statue to be evil, he throws it into the pit, hoping the spell will be broken and the lions will look for dinner elsewhere. Sure enough, the proud beasts turn tail and wander off. The goon turns to the pit and sees the remnants of the bird surrounded by asps, the gem lying amidst the broken pieces. Never saw that coming, and that's the very definition of a successful Atlas fable.-Peter

Mystery Tales #49

Cover by Bill Everett

"The Double Man!" (a: Goerge Roussos) ★★1/2

"By the Light of the Moon!" (a: Bernard Baily) ★

"Something in the Fog" (a: Dick Ayers) ★1/2

"Midnight on the Moors" (a: Pete Morisi) ★

"The Tiger's Fangs!" (a: Syd Shores) ★1/2

"Time Without End" (a: Robert Q. Sale) ★

First off, before I begin my lengthy diatribe about soft, safe horror comics of 1957, let me direct your eyeballs to that fabulous Bill Everett cover. It's gotta be the best Post-Code cover we've encountered yet, one that, for just a few seconds, makes us forget we're not in pre-code 1954.

Occult enthusiast Paul Jasons spends all his bread on witchcraft books, hoping to find that one spell that will lead to an easy life. He finds an old tome in a local Goodwill shop and enthuses about its contents to his best friend, George. Paul believes the book will help him create a double of himself, a clone who will do all the tedious day-to-day work for him. George poo-poos the idea and tells his friend he needs some rest and a good psychiatrist.

That night, Paul goes home and heads to the basement, where his butler has kindly drawn a five-pointed star on the ground and lit all kinds of aromatic candles. The stage is set. The next morning, Paul arrives at the office only to be turned away by his secretary, who informs him that, yes, he's the spittin' image of her boss, but Mr. Jasons is in his office right now. "Security!" Later, that night, Paul is barred from entering his home by his butler, who gives his boss the same spiel as the steno. Only one place to turn and that's George, who informs his buddy that he just spoke to the real Paul Jasons on the phone. Dazed, Paul stumbles and falls down a staircase, awakening in a hospital bed to find it was all a misunderstanding. The "other" Paul was a confidence man who had overheard the two friends talking at the restaurant and took advantage of the situation. George burns the evil volume, though, just in case! "The Double Man!" was a pretty good Weird Tales-esque horror story right up until that milquetoast reveal reminded us we're in 1957 Atlas, not 1954. Still, George Roussos contributes some dark, Lovecraftian vibes and that basement scene legitimately surprised me. How could Wertham and his cronies not have put witchcraft on the no-no list?

In the dopey "By the Light of the Moon!" attention-eager Lucas Morse fabricates a tale about UFOs and alien monsters and becomes an overnight hero. When a local newsman unearths the truth and reports the hoax, Morse goes back to being a "nobody." Very soon after, he witnesses a troop of aliens rising from the sea and heads to the cops who, naturally, don't believe him and toss him in lockup. "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" gets yet another drab retelling. 

A "certain important businessman" is about to land at a fog-bound airport when he looks out the window and sees "Something in the Fog," a strange apparition waving a red lamp. Understanding this must mean danger, he has the pilot pull up and, sure enough, the men look below to see they narrowly avoided landing on top of another plane. "Phshooooo, that was close!" On his way into the city, our "important businessman" runs into the signalman twice and both times narrowly avoids death. In the climax, we discover the businessman owns a television network and, when he arrives at home, he receives a call from one of his producers, informing him that the play that was to be broadcast, about a man with a red lantern who waves off danger, somehow didn't get aired. The bigwig smiles and tells his employee everything will be fine. 

American tourist Walter Price, staying in Ireland, mocks the local leprechaun legends but learns the little guys might just be real when he spends a "Midnight on the Moors." Primitive script and primitive art make this three-pager easily skipped over. Well, you can skip over it but I have a sworn duty to uphold. Don't say you weren't warned. All his life, tiger-tamer Hugo has lived a sham. Revered for his bravery with the big cats, only Hugo knows the tigers in his act are robots! You see, Hugo is really a coward but a genius wimp, able to craft a ferocious beast out of cogs and wires. But the beast master soon learns that he actually might have a bit of nerve in him when a real live tiger escapes a local zoo and Hugo discovers the real thing amongst his toys! "The Tiger's Fangs!" is harmless pablum, built upon the ol' switcheroo prank, with adequate Shores art.  

On his way to his cell, new con Blackie attempts an escape by ducking into the nearest door. Unfortunately for this ding-a-ling, the door leads to high voltage equipment and, thanks to a "kinetic-electron force," Blackie is zapped into the 17th Century. Everyone seems to know the bewildered dolt but he decides he needs to get out of there pronto before his cover is blown. He takes shelter in a castle and attempts to rob the owner of his silverware. As he's fleeing, the "Electron-Voltex-Nimrod" takes hold of him and... just like that... Blackie is in the 18th Century. Same scenario plays out and Blackie finds himself in the 19th Century... and so on. "Time Without End" seems endless.-Peter

Mystic #55

Cover by Bill Everett

"Out of the Fog!" (a: Don Heck) ★★

"The Empty Cell! (a: Ted Galindo) ★★

"The Man Everybody Feared!" (a: Ed Winiarski) ★1/2

"What Happened to Alice Prim?" (a: Doug Wildey) ★1/2

"Whirlpool!" (a: Bob Powell) ★1/2

"The Folks Who Faded Away" (a: John Forte) ★

Professor Merlin thinks that if magicians in ancient times were as powerful as legends say, they would have been kings. He receives a telegram from London that proof has been uncovered of a powerful magician in the time of King Arthur, so he hops in a private plane and flies across the ocean. The plane catches fire and he bails out, his parachute dropping through thick fog and emerging in the time of Arthur, where his knowledge of 20th century technology causes him to be seen as a great magician. Sadly, he can't master any of the more common skills, like refining copper or making gunpowder, so he is relegated to being the king's magician.

"Out of the Fog!" features the usual above-average art by Don Heck and the usual poor color separation we see in these Atlas comics, which often distracts from the art. The story is predictable right from the start.

Where did the five men in cell 13A go? "The Empty Cell!" has Warden Roe baffled! Little does he know that, the night before, one of the men revealed that he was a visitor from Uranus, sent to Earth to bring back people to populate the planet. The other four convicts agreed and Yon, the man from Uranus, flew them to his home planet in his spaceship. Though Uranus is like paradise, the convicts soon grow bored and revert to their criminal ways, so the king sends them back to their cell on Earth.

I really like Ted Galindo's art here and wish he had more to work with. The Lambiek Comiclopedia tells me that Roy Lichtenstein used panels drawn by Galindo for romance comics to create several paintings.

"The Man Everybody Feared!" is a scientist named Grant who is working on a terrible weapon he calls Compound X. Grant is certain it will bring him great riches, yet the people in every town he moves to drive him out. That all changes when he moves to Sandsville, where no one seems to have heard of him or his experiments. He meets and falls for pretty Eva Lewis, but when he reveals the truth to her she tells him to get out before it's too late, as do all the rest of the townsfolk. That night, Compound X accidentally leaks out and kills everyone in town except Grant, who even finds Eva's body, stiff, staring, and lifeless. He flees Sandsville, vowing to work for mankind's benefit. Shortly after dawn, the town is blown up by an A-bomb test and it turns out it was filled with plastic model people.

Here we go again! Not only am I certain we've seen this twist before, but the story makes no sense. If all of the people in Sandsville were lifelike dummies all along, why didn't Grant realize it? A twist works only when it logically follows what came before.

"What Happened to Alice Prim?" Why does the middle-aged spinster hate and fear men? She says it's because the one man she loved, a sailor, dumped her twenty years ago, and she doesn't believe the rumors that he met with an accident at sea. A fortune teller predicts that she will meet a tall, dark man and that will be her end! Soon a tall, dark man appears at her door and she runs in fear, until he catches up to her and reveals that he's the sailor from long ago. He lost his memory and just now got it back. They march to the altar and the fortune teller's prediction comes true--no more "Miss" Prim!

Once again, the big surprise at the end is predictable to anyone with half a brain and Doug Wildey phones in the graphics.

Big Mike Bowie is a macho braggart whose canoe goes over a waterfall and into a "Whirlpool!" He emerges in the hidden City of the Brave, where only men brave enough to go through the whirlpool live. On a tour of the city, Mike drools when he sees a pile of gold; when he tries to steal it, he's tried and sent back to our world by means of the whirlpool. Sadly, he discovers that he's in an endless loop and will keep repeating the same actions.

Thank goodness Bob Powell drew this dreck so our eyes can get a brief respite from the Atlas assault.

Four men rocket down a snowy slope in a new bobsled until a sharp curve lands them in a large mountain town where strange events occur. A man points a gun at one of the sledders and suddenly disappears. A jewelry store fades to nothingness as a sledder picks up a necklace. And the whole town fades away in the face of an avalanche! Only sledder Al Grover is satisfied because he's got a date with pretty Grace Vance. The quartet get back in the bobsled and finish their run. Al realizes that they were going so fast that they surpassed time and all the events and places were not really there. All except Grace, that is, who hops in the bobsled with Al.

It feels like we are inhabiting some circle of Dante's Inferno where we are forced to read stories by Carl Wessler over and over without end. "The Folks Who Faded Away" doesn't even try to make sense and I wonder what John Forte was thinking when he drew four pages to try to illustrate it. Probably something along the lines of, "another ten bucks in my pocket."-Jack

Next Week...
Not a Hoax...
Not a Dream...
Not Another Stupid Robot...
Batman Dies a Thousand Times!

Batman in the 1960s Issue 58: July/August 1969

The Caped Crusader in the 1960s
by Jack Seabrook
& Peter Enfantino

Adams

Detective Comics #389

"Batman's Evil Eye"

Story by Frank Robbins

Art by Bob Brown & Joe Giella

"Batgirl's Bag of Tricks!"

Story by Frank Robbins

Art by Gil Kane & Murphy Anderson

Assuring Robin that even bad guys can be rehabilitated, Batman shows up at Gotham Prison to wish Jonathan Crane the best as he walks out onto the streets of Gotham for the first time in at least three months (since the last time he was tried and convicted of multiple counts of attempted murder, extortion, terrorism, and armed robbery). The Boy Wonder is doubtful, claiming these bad seeds never learn, but Crane, for his part, seems to be a happy clam, going so far as to shake Batman's hand.

As they drive away, the Dark Knight muses how the times have changed and criminals aren't really scared of his "Bat persona" anymore. Just then, the Duo run across some dastardly fiends stealing parking meters (I ain't making that up!) and jump from the Mobile to apprehend said criminals. The thugs seem to wet their pants and stand in total fear while the Duo apply knuckle sammitches to their kissers. "Odd," muses the Caped Crusader, "for a brief moment there I thought..." Robin sighs and admonishes his mentor, "Enough of the group therapy, let's get a burger."

The next night, the boys are patrolling the streets of Gotham when they see a group of thieves exiting Gems 'R' Us and leap into the mob. Again, like the previous night, these hooligans seem terrified of their own shadow and the boys slap the cuffs without much of a fight. Boring! As the goons are led away into the police precinct, Batman corners Gordo (who hasn't changed out of his Gotham Golf Resort polo yet) with an eye to discussing this new Bat-Phobia craze that's sweeping the underworld, but the Commish receives a call. "It's for you!," exclaims Gordon, and hands Batman the phone. 

On the other end of the phone, a mysterious voice tells Bats if he's interested in the reason why criminals are suddenly terrified at the very sight of him, to meet the voice at a nearby warehouse and... come alone. The World's Greatest Detective™ has no idea who the voice could belong to (um, let's see, 2+2=?), but his curiosity has been piqued. He heads to the warehouse and peeks through the skylight, boasting how his unknown adversary will never guess where Batman will enter. Wrong!

The Scarecrow is ready for his nemesis and has a room of mirrors erected so that when Bats gazes at his own reflection, he'll be just as terrified as the goons! Crane's voice informs our hero that Batman can only look at himself five times in the mirror before he goes mad. Using the Sherlock Holmesian skills God gave him, Batman suddenly realizes his foe must be... The Scarecrow! After several unsuccessful attempts to escape, The Dark Knight tricks Crane into believing he's used up his allotted five trips to the mirror and now he's as crazy as a loon. The Scarecrow sends his henchmen in to finish Bats off, but our wily hero uses his Bat-Phobia powers to agitate the thugs and gain access to the Scarecrow. As he's hauling the 2nd-tier villain off to the pokey, Batman swears he'll never be fooled by a parolee again.

I love the Scarecrow so any visit is welcome, but all through the 1960s, his limited guest appearances have been greeted with below-average scripts, this one included. Robin mocks his boss for giving Crane a job at Wayne Labs and, I gotta tell ya, for the first time ever, I agree with the little twerp. Who thinks it's a good idea to set a psycho (even a so-called rehabilitated nut) loose in a lab full of dangerous stuff? And how is it the Caped Crusader couldn't figure out who was behind the fear factor? He just let the guy out of prison, fercrissakes! Best laugh of the strip goes to Robin for losing his patience and telling Batman to drop the psychobabble already. 

In the conclusion of a two-parter, Batgirl first takes down a faux-JLA and then heads after airline hostess/gem smuggler Darlene, who has headed out to her grandpappy's 85th birthday party. Once Babs arrives, she discovers that the old man is behind the smuggling ring. Despite Gramps pulling a Tommy-gun on our heroine, Batgirl slaps on the cuffs and calls the local cops to haul the smugglers away. Once again, the dessert is much more filling than the main course. The script, the art, hell even the one-liners are snappier. It's a doggone dirty shame Babs was never given her own title.-Peter

Jack-I agree with you about the Batgirl story. The art is fantastic and I loved the jittery old man with the machine gun. As for the Batman story, I liked it better than you did. The Scarecrow is a cool villain, the story was fun, and the fight at the end, where Batman is unable to see but prevails anyway, was neat. Sure, there were some parts that were hard to believe, but I enjoyed it. And that cover! Wow!

Draut/Colletta

Batman #213

"The Origin of Robin!"

Story by E. Nelson Bridwell

Art by Ross Andru & Mike Esposito

"Here Comes Alfred!"

Story by Don C. Cameron

Art by Bob Kane, Jerry Robinson & George Roussos

(Reprinted from Batman #16, May 1943)

"The Game of Death!"

Story by David Vern

Art by Jim Mooney

(Reprinted from Star Spangled Comics #127, April 1952)

"The Man Behind the Red Hood!"

Story by Bill Finger

Art by Bob Kane, Lew Sayre Schwartz & Charles Paris

(Reprinted from Detective Comics #168, February 1951)

"The Challenge of Clay-Face"

(Reprinted from Detective Comics #298, December 1961)

Some covers bring me right back to childhood, and this is one of them. I'm surprised to see it was drawn by Bill Draut and Vince Colletta, two artists I don't think of as Batman regulars.

"The Origin of Robin!" is disappointing, mainly due to the art by Andru and Esposito. The Golden Age version is punchier and the art is primitive, but it's more enjoyable. The new version is rewritten and redrawn but essentially the same story. "Here Comes Alfred!" is the butler's first appearance and opens with a wonderful splash page by Jerry Robinson featuring a giant-sized Alfred about to step on tiny crooks without realizing it. The chubby, Golden Age Alfred of the story is an amateur sleuth and former music hall actor who foists himself on Bruce Wayne as his new butler, explaining that his father was butler to Wayne's father. Alfred quickly figures out the secret identities of the Dynamic Duo so they have to keep him on; a helpful editor's note reports that he lost weight and grew his mustache about eight months later.

"The Game of Death!" is a throwaway Robin story from 1952. I've always loved "The Man Behind the Red Hood!" because it serves as the Joker's origin story. On rereading it, the art is pretty good and the story has flaws, but it still holds a special place for me. I looked back at my comments on "The Challenge of Clay-Face" and I called it excellent when I first read it. I have no reason to change that assessment!-Jack

Peter-The obvious standouts here are the Clay-Face adventure (which SPOILER ALERT! will earn a place on my list of the best Batman stories of the 1960s) and the intro of the Red Hood, a story I read decades ago in this here issue. "The Man Behind the Red Hood!" has an impractical plot (why would the Joker bother coming back as the Red Hood?) and a laughable event (Joker is overpowered and captured by a bumpkin named "Farmerboy" Benson) but a Formula One pace and that killer retro art. The remaining three stories are varying levels of fluff. This will be the final 1960s Giant-Sizer we review and, I must say, I'll miss the format!

Adams

The Brave and the Bold #84

"The Angel, the Rock, and the Cowl"

Story by Bob Haney

Art by Neal Adams

Jack and I reviewed this eons ago when we were doing our bi-weekly dissection of DC war comics. You can find that discussion here.-Peter

Jack-Looking back at our writeup from 2017, I see that  neither one of us loved the story, but the art is spectacular. It's interesting to note that Joe Kubert helped out. Seeing Sgt. Rock as an older man was cool.

Novick

Detective Comics #390

"If the Coffin Fits--Wear It!"

Story by Frank Robbins

Art by Bob Brown & Joe Giella

"Countdown to Chaos!"

Story by Mike Friedrich

Art by Gil Kane & Murphy Anderson

Look out Gotham--there's a new Rogue in town and his handle is the Masquerader! So what's this new villain's M.O.? Well, he does the occasional heist but it seems only a ploy to get the Dark Knight to show up so that the Masquerade thugs can tear bits out of the Bat-uni. Odd, no?

You'd think they would be nothing but a nuisance to our hero but, hey, a hero only keeps a certain number of outfits in the closet and Batman has completely run out. He and Robin ponder the subject, noting that the goons ripped off the piece of uni that contains the name of Batman's tailor. "Gosh, Batman, why would the Masquerader want the name of your tailor?" Why indeed, Boy Blunder? The World's Greatest Detective™ simply shrugs and hold up his hands as he grabs the phone and dials Sam Tweed (yes, Sam Tweed) to order another suit. Sam laughs and reveals to his number one client that he always keeps an extra handy just in case. The uniform will be delivered to Gordo's office within the hour.

Robin races over to the precinct, grabs the clothing box, and heads back to the Batcave, pronto. Just as the junior partner is taking the outfit out of its box, Batman gets a call on the hotline from the Commish: the Masquerader, who always sends a riddle to the police before pulling a heist (wonder where he got that trick from), has left a cryptic message for the Duo. With a little bit of brainwork, the pair work out that the clue is meant to lead them to Charles Finger Moving Company. Robin lets out a girlish squeal once he's emptied the box, for inside, under Batman's new uni, lies the disguise of the Masquerader!

"That could mean one thing and one thing only, Robin. Yes, of course, this devious villain must have a tailor to stitch his get-ups as well and that tailor is... Sam Tweed! Innocent, kind, and courteous Sam could be in danger. I'd better call him!" Tweed admits that the Masquerader forced him to knit one, purl two at gunpoint and he's so embarrassed! Bats insists that Sam tell him the identity of the Masquerader but before he can... Blam! Blam! The Masquerader snickers and goads Batman before hanging up the phone.

Batman sends Robin to the moving company and races to Tweed's shop. "If the Masquerader has harmed one hair on the head of the most courteous, innocent, kind, sin-free resident of Gotham, I'll... well, he'd better not!" Alas, when Bats reaches the shop, Tweed is on the floor, dying from his bullet wounds. His last words before the ambulance crew take him away are the Masquerader's home address! Hang on a sec... how did those EMTs get to the scene so fast? Evidently, the neighbors reported the gunshots. Batman sighs as the ambulance takes the body of Tweed away.

The Dark Knight arrives at the Fashion Art Studios, home of the Masquerader and, rather than pick the lock of the door, crashes through the plate glass display window, where he discovers his new archenemy waiting for him. A tussle ensues but the Masquerader gains the upper hand as he activates a huge heat lamp on the ceiling and Batman's uniform begins to constrict. "I've sewed you into your own shroud!!!" screams the unhinged maniac, as he rips away his mask, revealing... Sam Tweed!!!! NO way!

"Hang on, this can't be real, I just left your bullet-ridden, admittedly bloodless corpse back at your shop. And those ambulance drivers? They had stethoscopes and thermometers! Surely, they couldn't be..." The Masquerader lets out a long giggle and informs Batman that his uniform is made of "Hygroscopic Monofilaments, strong as steel, which absorb moisture from the air..." and a whole lot of other sewing machine lingo. Long story short: Bats is going to be squeezed to death! Quick-thinking Batman pulls out his laser gun and aims it at the sprinklers high above. The resulting deluge wipes out the heat lamp and allows our hero to deliver quite the blow to the chin of Sam Tweed, Future Prison Garment Mender. 

Though "If the Coffin Fits--Wear It" contains no aliens or robots, the script is just as ludicrous as those past triumphs, filled with dopey contrivances and red herrings. In the end, Tweed reveals that this huge, complicated plot, which relied on lots of coincidences and expensive props, was initiated because he had become weary of crafting custom suits for heroes and villains and it was time for him to man up and become Gotham's Number One Crime Lord™. Why bother with such an elaborate setup as the fake killing of the tailor? Why include the Masquerader costume in the garment box? How stupid is our favorite DC hero that he couldn't put two and two together and come up with Tweed? Why the panel where the Masquerader gleefully holds up a piece of Batman's costume and exclaims, "At last, I have the identity of Batman's tailor!" when everyone within earshot knows the dope's real identity anyway? Why do a growing number of bad guys feel it's necessary to clue the Duo in on their next hold-up? If I were a criminal, I'd want to make off with the goods and not have to worry about a fistfight with the Dark Knight. Nothing about this one makes sense except for the art, which is just about the best Brown/Giella work I've laid my eyes on yet. 

During a particularly heated teachers' contract negotiation, Gotham High's cub newspaper reporter, Dick Grayson, asks his editor, the really cute and nicely drawn Sandy, out on a date to the school's football game that evening. After the Gotham Titans beat the Skyline Bulldogs in a tightly contested game, Dick and Sandy are put upon by a group of rabble rousers dressed in Skyline jackets. Realizing this may be the most grueling battle of his short, illustrious career (even more dangerous than the time he pulled Mr. Thomas's Pomeranian out of the Gotham Public Swimming Pool), Dick leaps into the bushes and emerges as... Robin, the Boy Wonder! 

Robin pummels the Skyline fans to a bloody pulp but their (older) leader gets away. The next day, the lead negotiator for the teachers receives a private call in his office, a very stressful call if the sweat on his forehead is to be believed, and the following evening he holds a press conference informing the public that talks between the city and the teachers have broken down. "What?!" screams Dick Grayson, "That means the teachers will go on strike!" Well, if we have to endure the lightweight solo adventures of Robin (which will rotate with the Batgirl back-up), at least the powers that be thought it a good idea to keep the same art team of Kane and Anderson. And to be fair, the plot of "Countdown to Chaos!" is not too bad, with a couple of interesting plot devices inserted to keep our interest. Who is the mystery rabble-rouser who escapes and does he have something to do with the mysterious phone call? Will Sandy drop her cold, hard demeanor long enough to plant one on Dick? To be continued...-Peter

Jack-At first I thought the torn costume was further evidence of the more vulnerable Batman we've been seeing since Frank Robbins took over as writer, but that turned out not to be the case. The Masquerader resembles the Red Skull, does he not? I like the fact that the Batman story is not filled with long captions and instead focuses on action and dialogue. I agree that the art is good, but I think Novick's cover is even better. The letters column has two interesting tidbits: first, the editor writes that Carmine Infantino lays out the cover of every DC comic, which is quite a feat, and second, Martin Pasko writes to ask that Mike Friedrich "quit trying to be 'cool' in the dialogue of his stories," something we've also complained about.

Novick

Batman #214

"Batman's Marriage Trap!"

Story by Frank Robbins

Art by Irv Novick & Joe Giella

The winner of the annual Gotham Queen of Beauty Awards gets to spend a night on the town with Batman! Crooks watching the pageant on TV are elated, since Batman's every move will be covered and they'll know where he is all evening. Robin announces that he plans to stay home and watch it all on TV, too! The crooks make the most of their opportunity and commit a record number of crimes without any opposition.

The boss, a guy named Strack, decides to set "Batman's Marriage Trap!" and use the women of Gotham City against the Dark Knight. He summons a sexy blonde named Cleo and sends her out as bait. Cleo visits a top ad agency and tells the top man that she represents W.E.B., which stands for Women to End BATchelorhood. Their goal is to force Batman, Gotham's most eligible bachelor, to marry, thus removing the one barrier to happy marriage in the city. She has a million dollars to spend on an ad campaign, so the admen start papering the city with fliers that say "Wanted! For Marriage" and feature a picture of Batman.

Women start flooding the streets, carrying signs and blocking the Batmobile's path. "Down With Singles!" "Batman Unfair to Gotham Gals!" Even Batgirl joins the picket line! What's a crime fighter to do? Batman and Robin get unexpected aid from Cleo, who creates a smokescreen with her sports car and blocks the women's path. Cleo plays hard to get, figuring that will intrigue the Caped Crusader. As Batman and Robin drive up to a robbery in progress, their car is swarmed with more women, who insist that Batman choose a bride. Suddenly, Cleo reappears, tossing ladies hither and yon until they run from her. Batman becomes more intrigued by the blonde savior.

Strack and his gang set a trap for Batman by making it look like someone has stolen Cleo's sports car. A fierce battle ensues between the Dynamic Duo and Strack's gang until Cleo joins in, having fallen for Batman in earnest. Batgirl makes a surprise appearance to keep Batman from being shot and reveals that she was trailing Cleo, who tearfully admits her crush on Batman before she is led off in handcuffs. In the end, Batgirl disguises herself as Cleo and helps Batman and Robin round up the gang boss. Our heroes drive off and see all of the picket signs discarded in a trash pile--they are relieved that women will no longer be throwing themselves at Batman.

I know Peter will mock me, but I enjoyed this silly story, which features an impressive cover by Novick and interior art that is as good as the cover. I liked seeing a guest appearance from Batgirl and I thought the whole plot was so over the top that it was fun.-Jack

Peter-"Batman's Marriage Trap!" simultaneously puts us on alert the Frank Robbins is running out of story ideas and that he really digs ripping his ideas from the headlines. Tired of burning their bras in front of Gotham City Hall, the town's feminists now protest... Batman's bachelorhood? You can tell pretty quickly which side of the line Frank Robbins stood on in 1969. This is just about the most offensive and lunk-headed Bat-script on this journey and barely missed my pick for Worst Bat-Story of the 1960s. What placed first? Stay tuned!

Next Week...
Paul Reinman Shows Us
"Something in the Sea!"