The Hitchcock Project-A Matter of Murder by Boris Sobelman [9.23]

by Jack Seabrook

"A Matter of Murder" is a fast-paced romp where the crime of the title has already happened offscreen before the episode begins.

When four men in suits, who are loitering outside a bar in a rural area, see a Rolls Royce drive by and turn down a remote road, they jump into their car and follow it. The Rolls pulls up next to a lake and the driver, Sheridan Westcott, walks out onto a pier, where he lowers a weight at the end of a rope to measure the water's depth. Suddenly, the other car pulls up next to his and one of the passengers jumps out and drives off in the Rolls. While Westcott runs down the empty road calling for help, the two cars drive into a nearby town and quickly enter a garage.

Darren McGavin as Sheridan Westcott

The car thieves, led by Philadelphia Harry and including his young nephew, Weldon, and two other men, Vinnie and Al, soon discover an unanticipated impediment in their plan to scrape the car and get it over the border tonight: inside the trunk is a woman's corpse, wrapped in plastic and with chains around its legs. Harry tells his helpers to wipe all of their fingerprints off of the vehicle so that they can  put it back where they found it.

Meanwhile, Westcott, who appears to have murdered his wife and planned to dump her body in the lake, has had a change in plans and decides to take advantage of the unexpected turn of events. He arrives back at the bar that was seen in the first scene and reports that his car was stolen and his wife kidnapped! Back at home, he and his wife's niece, pretty Enid Bentley, tell a police lieutenant what Westcott claims happened. Sheridan is able to describe one kidnapper well enough that the policeman and his partner, Harv, recognize the leader of the gang of car thieves as Philadelphia Harry, a crook who they say is well known for stealing cars but who would never kidnap anyone. When Westcott suggests that his wife's life may be in danger, the policemen laugh at the thought.

Patricia Crowley as Enid Bentley

Just as Harry and his gang are returning the stolen car to the spot by the lake, Harry hears a news flash on the radio reporting that he is being sought for kidnapping Phoebe Westcott, the rich woman whose corpse is in the trunk. Harry and his men drive both cars back to the garage, aware that if they had left the vehicle by the lake they would be accused of murder.

At Westcott's house, the police have left and Sheridan and Enid share drinks and toast "'the perfect crime.'" The police return and inform them that they have confirmed that Harry is in the area; they assure Westcott that Harry is "'as honest as they come'" and that Phoebe could not be in better hands. They suggest waiting for a ransom note. At Harry's garage, however, Harry decides that there will be no ransom note. Instead, they will return Westcott's car to the garage at his home and hire a stool pigeon who goes by the name of General Delivery to tip off the cops to the car's location. At Westcott's house, Enid expresses concern that Harry will not send a ransom note and suggests that she and Sheridan send one for him.

Telly Savalas as Philadelphia Harry

The first act of "A Matter of Murder" moves quickly, cutting back and forth between locations to set up parallel stories that are interrelated and whose characters try to outthink each other without knowing what the other is doing. In act two, events continue to spiral out of control even as the characters desperately attempt to manage the outcome. Under cover of darkness, Harry and his gang return the Rolls Royce to the Westcott garage and admire the convertible sports car parked next to it. The next day, Westcott's lawyer, a man named Flagstone, brings a briefcase containing $200,000 to pay the ransom for Phoebe, but when Enid discovers that the Rolls has been returned to the garage, with a note on the windshield that reads, "Stealing is one thing. Murder ain't. I hope you get the chair," she and Sheridan must think fast. Enid suggests leaving the car on a remote road for the police to find so that they will suspect Harry of murder.

Patrick McVey as the
police lieutenant

At Harry's garage, the stool pigeon known as General Delivery is brought in, wearing a blindfold, and paid to telephone police chief J.X. Doran to report that the missing Rolls has been in Westcott's garage the whole time. Incredibly, inside the garage, Sheridan and Enid have managed to do a professional job of repainting the car a silver color in record time! They drive off, Sheridan behind the wheel of the Rolls and Enid driving the convertible, just before the police arrive and find the garage empty.

Howard Wendell as Flagstaff

In a scene that replays the first scene of the show, Enid drives by the bar in the convertible and two of Harry's gang members see the expensive car and give chase. Westcott leaves the repainted Rolls near Lookout Point and Enid picks him up; the gang members soon pull up and steal the silver Rolls, not realizing that it is the same car that they had left in Westcott's garage the night before. After Sheridan drops a ransom note in a mailbox, Weldon returns to Harry's garage in the silver car, where Harry opens the trunk to see that it contains Phoebe's corpse.

Than Wyenn as General Delivery

By this point, the fact that Sheridan Westcott murdered his wife and planned to dispose of her corpse in a lake has become secondary to the race to avoid being held responsible for the body in the trunk. Act three begins at Westcott's house, where Flagstone has turned over the ransom money and the characters discuss how to handle the imaginary handoff to the nonexistent kidnappers. Sheridan goes to the idyllic small town of Flamingo Corners and spends the day in the town square, watched closely by undercover policemen as he waits for someone to come and take the briefcase of money, knowing full well that no one will come. That night, Harry awakens with a start when he realizes that the Rolls was repainted in order to make it look like his gang did the paint job. He calls a criminal named Lopez whom he can count on to take the car and get it quickly and safely over the border. The only problem is that they cannot leave the body in the trunk or Lopez would discover it.

Lewis Charles as Lopez

The next day, Westcott accuses the police of scaring off the kidnappers at Flamingo Corners and Enid expresses certainty that Phoebe is dead. Westcott drives into town, unaware that he is being followed by Harv, and makes an anonymous call to the police to report that the Rolls Royce has been sitting abandoned near Lookout Point for the last two days. As act three ends, it appears that the police are beginning to suspect Westcott of something, but they are not sure what.

The final act begins as the lieutenant conveys his suspicions regarding Westcott to the chief. He thinks that Phoebe's body may be hidden in Westcott's cellar! At Harry's garage, the car thief pays Lopez $100 to take the car over the border; at Westcott's house, the police have completed their fruitless search of the cellar. The lieutenant plans to drag the lake in the morning and admits to his colleagues that he has grave doubts about finding Phoebe's corpse. After the police leave, Sheridan and Enid celebrate, thinking that they have outsmarted everyone. The Rolls will be found with Phoebe's body in the trunk, and Harry will be accused of murder.

Jordan Grant as Al

However, in a final, delicious twist, at Harry's garage the Rolls Royce is gone but the corpse, still wrapped in plastic and with chains around its legs, remains! Harry and his gang put it in the trunk of their own car and head for the lake to put the body where Westcott had intended to put it in the first place. They do not know that the police plan to drag the lake the next day. The police lieutenant will be in for quite a surprise when he locates Phoebe's corpse and, if all goes as expected, Westcott will be held responsible for the crime he committed and Harry will be suspected of nothing more than the usual car theft. In short, all of Sheridan and Enid's scheming will come to naught and, instead of the body being in the lake where no one would ever think to look for it, it will be found by the police the next day.

Paul Potash as Vinnie

"A Matter of Murder" is a fun black comedy that benefits from clever plotting, tight direction, and strong acting. Telly Savalas steals the show as Philadelphia Harry, the "honest" car thief who cannot believe that he could be suspected of kidnapping and possibly murder after twenty years in the business. Darren McGavin makes an amiable Sheridan Westcott and Patricia Crowley is perfect as his take-charge younger lover, Enid. Rounding out the cast are supporting actors who make the most of their time on screen.

Tyler McVey as J.X. Doran

The teleplay by Boris Sobelman is original and is not based on any story or prior TV show. The title card shows a copyright date of 1963 but the show did not air until Friday, April 3, 1964, on CBS, which may have delayed airing it for some reason.

This was the only teleplay written for the Hitchcock TV show by Boris Sobelman (1909-1971), who was born in Russia and who emigrated to the United States and wrote exclusively for TV from 1961 to 1971. In addition to this episode, he penned three episodes of Thriller and one episode of Star Trek.

Marc Rambeau as Weldon

"A Matter of Murder" was one of two episodes of The Alfred Hitchcock Hour to be directed by David Lowell Rich (1920-2001); the other was "To Catch a Butterfly," which is anything but humorous. Rich directed many TV shows from 1950 to 1987, as well as a number of films. He won an Emmy in 1978.

Darren McGavin (1922-2006) appeared on three episodes of the Hitchcock TV series, including "Triggers in Leash." Born William Lyle Richardson, he was seen on stage, film, and TV from 1945 to 2008. He starred in five TV series: Crime Photographer (1951-1952), Mike Hammer (1958-1959), Riverboat (1959-1961), The Outsider (1968-1969) and, of course, The Night Stalker (1974-1975), which followed two popular TV movies featuring the same character, Carl Kolchak, who kept encountering supernatural menaces while working as a newspaper reporter in Chicago. McGavin also had a memorable role as the father in A Christmas Story (1983) and there is a website about him here.

Calvin Bartlett as Harv

In her only role on the Hitchcock TV show, Patricia Crowley (1933- ) plays Enid. She was on screen from 1950 to 2012, mostly appearing on TV, including an episode of The Twilight Zone. She was a regular on two TV series, Please Don't Eat the Daisies (1965-1967) and Joe Forrester (1975-1976), and she had recurring roles on two soap operas, Generations (1989) and Port Charles (1997-2001).

Telly Savalas (1922-1994) served in the Army during WWII and his career on screen lasted from 1959 until his death. He was also on an episode of The Twilight Zone and had important roles in The Dirty Dozen (1967) and On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969), but the role that made him a star was as the lead in the TV series Kojak, which ran from 1973 to 1978 and which continued in occasional TV movies until 1990. Savalas has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

In smaller roles:

• Patrick McVey (1910-1973) as the police lieutenant; he was in films from 1941 to 1973 and on TV from 1950 to 1972; he also appeared on Broadway from 1947 to 1970. He was in Hitchcock's North By Northwest (1959) and he was a regular on three TV series: Big Town (1950-1954), Boots and Saddles (1957-1958), and Manhunt (1959-1961).
• Howard Wendell (1908-1975) as Flagstone, the lawyer; he was on screen from 1949 to 1971, appeared in Fritz Lang's The Big Heat (1953) and on two episodes of Batman, and was in one other episode of The Alfred Hitchcock Hour, "Diagnosis: Danger."
• Than Wyenn (1919-2015) as General Delivery, the stool pigeon who plays his role blindfolded; his screen career lasted from 1949 to 1985 and included three episodes of The Alfred Hitchcock Hour, one of which was "Triumph," and appearances on The Twilight Zone, Thriller, and Night Gallery.
• Lewis Charles (1920-1979) as Lopez, who is paid $100 to take the Rolls Royce over the border; he was on screen from 1940 to 1980 and appeared in Hitchcock's Topaz (1969), as well as four episodes of Batman and the TV movie, Kolchak: The Night Stalker (1974) with Darren McGavin.
• Jordan Grant (1937-1996) as Al, one of Harry's gang; born Richard Jordan Gerler, he was on screen from 1961 to 1994, first as Jordan Gerler, then as Jordan Grant, and finally as Adam Roarke, appearing on an episode of Star Trek and in one other episode of The Alfred Hitchcock Hour, "The Sign of Satan."
• Paul Potash (1936- ) as Vinnie, another member of Harry's gang; he had a brief career on TV from 1963 to 1967 and appeared in a film in 1968. He was also a folk singer in the early 1960s as one half of the duo, Art and Paul.
• Tyler McVey (1912-2003) as the police chief, Captain J.X. Doran; his long career began in the 1930s on the radio and he was on screen from 1950 to 1986. He can be seen in eight episodes of the Hitchcock series, including "Human Interest Story," and he was the president of AFTRA from 1965 to 1967.
• Marc Rambeau (1942-1985) as Weldon, Philadelphia Harry's nephew; he had a brief TV career from 1962 to 1966 that included three appearances on The Alfred Hitchcock Hour; one of the others was "Death of a Cop."
• Calvin Bartlett (1935- ) as Harv, the police lieutenant's partner; he had a long career on TV and film, starting in 1963, and appeared in one episode of Kolchak: The Night Stalker and one other episode of The Alfred Hitchcock Hour, "The Ordeal of Mrs. Snow."

Watch "A Matter of Murder" online here.

Sources:

Grams, Martin, and Patrik Wikstrom. The Alfred Hitchcock Presents Companion. OTR Pub, 2001.

IBDB, www.ibdb.com.

IMDb, www.imdb.com.

"A Matter of Murder." The Alfred Hitchcock Hour, season 2, episode 23, CBS, 3 April 1964.

Podell, Art. “Play On.” FolkWorks, Art Podell https://folkworks.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/FolkWorks-logo-large.png, 19 Feb. 2021, folkworks.org/play-on-2/.

Wikipedia, www.wikipedia.org.

Listen to Al Sjoerdsma discuss "The Indestructible Mr. Weems" here!

In two weeks: "Apex," starring Patricia Breslin!

Journey Into Strange Tales Issue 134: Atlas/Marvel Horror & Science Fiction Comics!

 

The Marvel/Atlas 
Horror Comics

Part 119

September 1956 Part II

by Peter Enfantino

and Jack Seabrook

Marvel Tales #150

Cover by Bill Everett

"I Plunged Into Darkness!" (a: Mort Drucker) ★★

"The House of Shadows!" (a: Mac L. Pakula) ★

"The Shrinking Man!" (a: Bob Powell) ★1/2

"The Man from Nowhere" (a: Ed Winiarski) ★

"Ultimate Weapon" (a: Vic Carrabotta) ★

"I'll Live Forever" (a: Gray Morrow) ★★

A psychiatrist sees a troubled young man who continually dreams about darkness. The shrink tells the man that he must put him under hypnosis to get to the root of the problem. During the session, the doc discovers that his patient was enjoying a solo mountain-climbing expedition when he fell into a crevasse. With death staring him in the face, he was saved by a beautiful ice princess and immediately fell in love. Her father forbade the union and stole the memory of the man, sending him back to the "real world." 

Now the head doctor struggles with the responsibility of telling his patient the truth. If he reveals the secret, he knows the man will head back up the mountain, but if he keeps mum, the sleepless nights will continue. Meanwhile, in a distant ice castle, the same paradox affects the Ice King. His daughter tosses and turns; should he restore her memory? Nice Mort Drucker graphics highlight the romantic fluff known as "I Plunged Into Darkness!"

Midville is home to a gen-u-wine mystery, a house that sits atop a grand hill but always stays in the shadows. What is the secret of "The House of Shadows!"? The secret is that the script is a load of hooey, with each page descending faster and faster into a paroxysm of inanity. From the "Why didn't I think of that?" department comes "The Shrinking Man," wherein an egghead is working on a top secret formula and is unaware of the anger building up inside his ape-like assistant, Gene, who wants to exploit the breakthrough for $$. The two men have a scuffle and the gas is released, shrinking the men quickly. There's a happy 1956 Atlas ending, though, and the twist is that the gas actually made the lab bigger, not the men smaller.

At least "The Shrinking Man!" has pleasing graphics. The same cannot be said of the inept "The Man from Nowhere" (surely, the most generic title in a land of bland), which details the mishaps of a "brilliant but careless" lab assistant who stumbles upon a spell that will summon a genie. The magic being, it is presupposed, will bring the klutz fame and fortune. But the dope doesn't draw a full circle around himself and that enables said genie to touch him. Everyone knows that the touch of a genie grants the bidder the exact opposite of what he wishes for. In the end, we see the poor sap in conversation with a quartet of tramps, begging for some food. The Winiarski art made me summon Visine. 

"Ultimate Weapon" is a nonsensical three-pager about a brilliant but eccentric scientist who's on the verge of a breakthrough and is kidnapped by agents from "Uralia" (that's Russia spelled sideways). The stinkin' commies promise the professor unlimited supplies and solitude to work but we know different, don't we? And so does the egghead, it turns out.

In “I’ll Live Forever,” Alex Hartley has long dreamed of immortality and the gift is almost dumped in his lap in the form of an island hidden somewhere in the Amazon. Though the journey is long and arduous, Hartley finally finds his island of youth but the locals inform the man that if he wishes to live forever, first he must spend a lengthy amount of time as a slave. Once his stint is up, he requests his reward but is told there’s a catch: he must live forever as a slave or return to the States a free man who won’t live much longer. In a cheesy final panel, Alex opts for freedom and delivers a preachy monologue about his decision. The Gray Morrow art is striking but the story is nothing new. In fact, it might live forever, recycled over and over. -Peter

Mystery Tales #45

Cover by Sol Brodsky

"The Man in Black!" (a: John Forte) ★1/2

"Shadow on the Sand!" (a: Syd Shores) ★

"He Stayed Down Too Long!" (a: Robert Q. Sale) ★1/2

"The Secret of the Old House!" (a: Bob McCarthy) ★

"Secret of the Oraquiis!" (a: Bob Forgione & Jack Abel) ★1/2

"No Bars Could Hold Him!" (a: Steve Ditko) ★★★

Ruthless businessman Lurton Gaxton thinks he's big stuff but, after humiliating one of his workers, he finds out differently when a mysterious stranger curses him and Gaxton finds himself smaller than an ant and fending off terrifying obstacles such as a kid on a bike. Don't worry though because, in the age of Atlas redemption, Lurton sees the error of his ways and swears he'll be a better man. Suddenly, he's back to normal size! "The Man in Black!" is the latest in a string of limp "shrinking man" yarns that do nothing with the hook. 

Lefty Gibson has been sitting in the blazing sun, staring into the distance like a "Shadow on the Sand!" What's he waiting for? Let me tell you what happened two years ago! Lefty and Matt break out of prison and come to Solville to hide out. Matt swears he just needs a little sleep and then they can hit the road. They take a room at a local boarding house and Lefty quickly falls in love with the landlady, Judith. The feeling is mutual and they decide to marry but this doesn't sit well with Matt, who's finally taken a (very long) siesta and is ready to hit the road. 

Lefty explains that he and Judith have already had three kids and bought a nice house with a white picket fence while Matt was sawin' logs and he ain't goin' nowhere; Lefty will take his chances with the law. Matt grabs Judith's Pop and heads out on the road (but forgets to take a car!!!) just as the cops show up. Lefty does his stint in the hoosegow and returns to Solville to claim his filly but discovers the whole thing was actually a mirage. There was no Judith! When Lefty was kissin' those soft, purty lips, he was only kissin' air. How depressing is that? The climax to "Shadow on the Sand!" is extremely random, I'll admit, until you realize 90% of the post-code stories made no sense whatsoever. No surprise this one was penned by Carl Wessler.

Equally silly is "He Stayed Down Too Long," wherein Mason is lord over a small tropical island, commanding the natives to dive for pearls while he flexes on the beach. Then a spaceship crashes on the beach and a man from Mars emerges, telling Mason he shouldn't be so mean to the natives. A kerfuffle ensues and Mason exits with the understanding that he's not really the strongest man on the island. The Robert Q. Sale art is okay but the script is inane and ends abruptly.

Making everything else in this issue look like quality is the truly inane "The Secret of the Old House!" Three lame heathens break into a supposedly haunted house and find a chest full of rubies and diamonds. But are riches beyond your wildest dreams worth your vitality? "The Secret of the Old House! might just be the perfect analogy for reading every single post-code Atlas horror story. Well, minus the rubies and gems, that is. 

Harris and Barnes are on the cusp of a great discovery; the Oraquiis are a tribe that has never been studied or documented. And, Harris notes quickly, they've got a lot of rubies and gems stashed in a nearby tomb/temple. Using his keen wit and a native robe, Harris gains access to the treasure but is thwarted by the Oraquii God and is discovered the next day, disemboweled and hanging upside down from a cross for all to see. If only. Actually, "Secret of the Oraquiis!" ends with Harris wandering the jungle with no memory of what happened to him. Quite the mystery. 

Uniquely, a three-pager concludes this issue and, equally uniquely, it's the only story worth a read this issue. "No Bars Could Hold Him!" details the career of "The Great Gordoni," a magician and thief who continuously breaks out of any prison the law builds for him. Once he gains freedom, he pulls heists until he's caught. And on and on. Gordoni finally meets his Waterloo in the Sheriff of Crystal River, who's been hoping for Gordoni's presence in his town. When the lawman busts the magician mid-heist, he pops him in a special prison cell that ensures the genius trickster will be behind bars for at least twenty years. Sure, it's Ditko and that makes just about anything readable but "No Bars Could Hold Him!" is charming and the twist is a delight. Give Carl Wessler his props just this once. Just in time to rescue Mystery Tales #45 from the birdcage!-Peter

Mystic #51

Cover by Bill Everett

"Man in the Dark" (a: Lou Morales) ★1/2

"No One Will Ever Know!" (a: Marvin Stein) ★

"Think! If You Dare" (a: Harry Lazarus) ★1/2

"Behind the Door" (a: Lou Cameron) ★1/2

"Wings in the Night!" (a: John Forte) ★

"The Imperfect Plot" (a: Gray Morrow) ★★

The "Man in the Dark" cries out from his lonely jail cell, recalling that he was a rebellious youth who grew up to be an unrepentant criminal. Every time he was locked away, he caused trouble, until finally he was exiled to a desolate, sunless planet where he was kept in a single cell prison in the only building on the sphere. Mystic 51 starts out with little promise; the big surprise at the end of the story is that it's the year 2062 and the prisoner is really alone in darkness.

After thirty years of searching, greedy explorer Jeff Peters finds the Golden City and vows that "No One Will Ever Know!" He arranges for the men who financed the expedition to leave after an Indian attack, but when Jeff returns to the city and brings back a pack full of gold, he is told that it is only fool's gold. He gives up exploring and wanders off alone, unaware that the clay in the boots he left behind yielded diamonds and he would have been rich! Marvin Stein's scratchy artwork dooms this story, which has a twist ending similar to many we've seen before.

An inventor named Wynn Laird invents a machine that can read men's thoughts. He sells it for $4,000,000 to Bontaro, a benevolent dictator who soon begins to jail everyone who has a bad thought about him. When it all gets too much, Laird is tossed in the dungeon, only to be let out to repair the machine. He switches a couple of tubes around so it tells the opposite of what people are thinking and soon Bontaro's guards turn on him and depose the dictator. Harry Lazarus's art is about average, which makes it right in line with the art in this issue's first two stories, if not a hair better. We've seen almost the exact same plot before, and not long ago.

Fuller has invented a machine that brings random objects from the past to the present. Each time he uses it, he wonders what will be "Behind the Door." His wife warns him about the danger of his experiment, but he doesn't listen. He builds a machine big enough to fit a person, presses the button, and disappears. From inside the machine steps his ancestor, who wonders what he's doing there and why his picture hangs on the wall. By bringing his ancestor forward into the present, Fuller has obliterated himself.

Before I looked at the art credit, I wondered if Dave Berg drew this one, since Fuller has a pipe clenched between his teeth. Lou Cameron is the artist, and his work is average, like everything else about this issue so far. The end of the story was telegraphed early on.

A flood threatens a town by a river until an unknown man signals a convocation of eagles to drop enough sticks and stones to build a levee. The man disappears after the town is saved. Another time, a forest fire erupts and signals eagles to build a rock barrier, once again saving the town. This time the townsfolk surround him and demand to know who he is. He identifies himself as Felix Talon and, over the ensuing years, he gets eagles to save the town from a series of disasters. Finally, an ornithologist climbs a steep cliff wall to the shack where Felix lives and asks him for his secret, but Talon orders the man away. Years pass and the ornithologist sees Talon fall. Climbing up the cliff to try to save him, the man finds Talon dead. Opening his shirt to check for a heartbeat, he discovers that Talon was an eagle!

The GCD doesn't credit a writer, but we know better, don't we? A mess like "Wings in the Night!" could only be the work of Carl Wessler. Atlas comics are so bad now that even the big surprise ending is botched by the lack of a drawing of the man with an eagle's chest--we see the ornithologist looking down, then he looks up at a bunch of eagles. Even John Forte, whom Peter likes more than I do, couldn't muster much interest in this dud.

After building a powerful transmitter, Erik Tanning succeeds in speaking to someone from the far reaches of space! Lucky for him, it's a woman named Ursula, who happens to be the daughter of the ruler of the planet Zanbora! In the 1956 version of Tinder, they hit it off right away. Erik loses interest in his blonde fiance Claire and happily builds a spaceship, using plans provided by his long-distance lover. Without even saying goodbye, Erik heads into space and flies fifty light years until he lands on Zanbora. Ursula, who is, in fact, a babe, is shocked and appalled when Erik emerges from the spaceship, since he has aged fifty years and looks every day of his new age of 90! "You're nothing but an ugly, old man," says the fickle Ursula, and Erik sits by his plane, head on his hands, pondering an outer space nursing home.

I read this issue hoping that Gray Morrow would swoop in to save the day at the end, but it was not to be. "The Imperfect Plot" is as bad as the five stories that preceded it. At least Mystic is consistent--consistently mediocre.-Jack

Next Week...
She's Back!

Batman in the 1960s Issue 44: March/April 1967

 

The Caped Crusader in the 1960s
by Jack Seabrook
& Peter Enfantino

Infantino/Giella

Detective Comics #361

"The Dynamic Duo's Double-Deathtrap!"

Story by Gardner Fox

Art by Carmine Infantino & Sid Greene

That wily old double death-trap concocter, Eivol Ekdal, has been paroled after six weeks of hard labor (we last saw Ekdal during the tumultuous action of 'tec #346) and is about to build the perfect trap in which to kill his arch-enemies, Batman and Robin. Of course, this being Eivol Ekdal, he sells the contraption to someone who has the cash and the nerve to use it.

While bargaining with the underworld thug who wishes to be rid of the Caped Crusaders, the relative calm is interrupted by the entrance of "The Berlin Butcher," a stinkin' Commie who's there to hire Ekdal to identify the inventor of the ingenious furniture that is allowing Russians to slip out under the Iron Curtain. Ekdal tells the Butcher to come back after he's done with the mobster and bring a hundred thousand in cash.

Ekdal returns his attention to his latest customer and demonstrates his newest trap, an invisible cage that activates once Robin steps on it. The cage then generates heat and the only way to open the trap is by cracking the code on the dial outside the box. That's where (ostensibly) the Dark Knight comes in. Once Batman cracks the combination on the dial, the entire gizmo will explode, killing both heroes! "You're a genius, Eivol," enthuses the underworld goon.

This wouldn't be a Batman comic without a Batman so we check in on events at Wayne Manor. Dick (Robin) Grayson is whining that he can't remember all the phone numbers for the multitude of elementary school friends he has and Bruce (Batman) Wayne teaches him a top secret way of connecting letters to numbers (a la a phone dial) and creating words. Mary Mamalook's number translates to Eatfood and a new top secret communication tool is created by the partners. Now, whenever Robin is in dire need of assistance, he need only take the time to assign letters to numbers (and vice versa), get the message to his boss, and hope Batman has the time to decipher that code before Robin is dropped into a vat of boiling oil.

Proud of themselves, the Duo hit the streets for some patrol time. Suddenly, the Bat-Seismokon (a device never heard of before and probably never heard of again) alerts the boys to an explosion in Gotham. Heading to the scene, they discover the Fortune Importing Company being heisted and go into action, unaware that Eivol Ekdal's dastardly device has been installed in the middle of the floor. Robin gives chase to a couple of crooks but Batman (oddly enough) has trouble putting down a simple goon. The Teenage Turbine breaks off to aid and is immediately trapped in the invisible box. "Help, Batman, I'm trapped in an invisible box and it's heating up!" screams the frightened lad.

Annoyed that he has to help the kid, Batman suddenly musters up enough strength to deliver a knockout punch to his heretofore unbeatable foe and heads to the box. Keenly spying the dial, the Batman spins until he hears the tumblers fall into place. Just in time, he realizes the numbers so far have spelled out E-K-D-A and thanks Jesus the kid annoyed him this morning with that crap about phone numbers. "Gotta split, kid, but you can get out of that unbreakable box if you try hard enough!" Robin gives a couple of solid kicks and, sure enough, the box falls apart. That Ekdal sure knows how to build 'em.

Outside, Batman makes sure his old chum hasn't got any hard feelings just as the Bat-phone rings inside the Batmobile. It's the Commish. He's got a live one down at the office that the boys have to meet. Upon arrival, they are introduced to Thea Albrecht, a Russian freedom fighter arrested for assaulting a man that evening. During interrogation, Thea gives up that the man she was holding at pistol point was none other than Yuri Melikov--The Berlin Butcher!!! Batman assures Thea that no one in Gordon's office will let on that they have a Russian insurgent in custody and heads out to nab Ekdal and the Butcher.

At that moment, Ekdal is meeting with the Butcher and examining photos of furniture. Ignoring the obvious shoddy craftsmanship, Ekdal declares the builder to be Adolph Brauner and collects his hundred grand. Before the Butcher exits, Ekdal shows him his newest invention, a special hand grenade he's going to sell to Tony Stark for a million bucks. After exiting the room, Melikov instructs his goons to kill Ekdal, get back his cash, and grab the grenade for future use. 

The Caped Crusaders burst into the room just a moment after Ekdal goes to Double-Death Trap Inventor Heaven and engage in fisticuffs with the Berlin Baboons. Melikov pulls the pin on his grenade and realizes too late that the joke's on him. Ekdal created an explosive that kills its master. Kaboom! Batman and Robin make short work of the Commie Criminals and head back to Gordon's, where they say goodbye to Thea. Weeks later, Dick Grayson reads a headline about more refugees escaping Germany and thanks God he lives in a country that welcomes the poor and downtrodden.

For the most part, this is as solid as these things come. Ekdal isn't much of a villain (the guy can't even build a trap that stays together under stress delivered by teenage toes) but then we don't have to worry about him ever again. The "invisible box" is not all that far-fetched but what is head-scratching is how the dial remains unseen. I wonder if the powers-that-be at DC saw that Stan was making millions off Commies over at Marvel and decided to dip their toes in that water. I don't recall seeing much in the way of Red-baiting in the Batman comics thus far. And hey, give points to horndog Bruce, who let Thea slip out of the country before getting a date or two. Who says a billionaire playboy can't put foreign affairs over playtime?-Peter

Jack-I was also surprised to see Batman get involved with Iron Curtain skullduggery. The art by Infantino and Greene is unusually shaky this time around, but Greene's solo work on the Elongated Man backup story is even worse. The influence of the Batman TV show continues to be felt with "Holy this" and "Holy that" every few pages.

Infantino/Giella

Batman #190

"The Penguin Takes a Flyer--Into the Future!"

Story by Gardner Fox

Art by Sheldon Moldoff & Joe Giella

Though most in Gotham City are wilting in a heat wave, the Penguin has embraced futuristic gadgets and keeps his gang of goons cool in air-conditioned uniforms! He feeds them a gourmet meal in pill form (shades of Willy Wonka!) and, that night, his gang is robbing gold from a safe when Batman and Robin burst in! The Penguin claims to have invented a gravity beam that keeps our heroes' boots pinned to the floor, but Batman figures out that it's just a big magnet and he and Robin slip out of their boots and do some damage to the goons.

The gang quickly recover due to their futuristic pill meal and air-conditioned suits; they are protected from Batman and Robin's blows by another invention that the Penguin calls Fist-Fender-Off. Batman realizes that jets of air are being expelled from the crooks' suits just before punches land and he and Robin work around this invention as well. Seeing his gang on the ropes, the Penguin takes to the skies in his flying umbrella and returns to his subterranean nest. Next come his Robber-Robotrellas, which are radio-guided and feature laser beams. These futuristic gizmos allow the Penguin to rob a jewelry store by remote control.

The Penguin gloats over his success and chats with his Robot-Penguin. A week later, he tries again with his Robotrellas, only to have them intercepted by Bat-rellas, a new invention by the Caped Crusader. The Robotrellas don't just rob, though--they attack with weapons such as a mace and a sword! Soon, the Dynamic Duo are captured in a big net and flown to the Penguin's nest, where the Wicked Waddler briefly gloats before Batman and Robin escape. To their amazement, the Penguin flies into the air! They throw furniture at him and he explodes, having really been the Robot-Penguin. Never fear, though--outside, Alfred has captured the real Penguin, who sits on the ground next to the Batmobile, defeated. The Penguin returns to a jail cell but is optimistic about his chances for escape when he meets his cellmate, whose name is Brolly!

I know Peter will agree with this issue's Letters to the Batcave writer Marcy Slyh, of Lansdale, PA, who asks, "What is Batman now? He is little more than a joke, a bumbling caped clown." Certainly, the influence of the TV show is felt in the recent stories, but as the editor replies, "you wanna argue with sales figures of a million-plus per issue?" The cover to Batman 190 by Infantino and Giella is excellent and, while I thought the story a bit silly (okay, more than a bit), I was surprised that Alfred saved the day at the end. I'm a big fan of the Penguin, so I can live with a bit of goofiness.-Jack

Peter-I know it's not my imagination (Jack's comments back me up)... the Moldoff/Giella team gets worse every issue. There's no dynamic, no style, nothing resembling talent. Given a pencil and some paper, I could come up with better even if I were a quadruple amputee. Fox's script is no better, relying on microwaved plots, illogical gizmos, and dopey dialogue. The '66 era is in full swing. The Penguin's duplicate "robot chef" again makes me snicker that these evil geniuses could become billionaires (and Presidential advisors, I guess) just by applying their skill in a legal manner. But I guess if you look like Cobblepot, normal life would be boring.

Infantino/Anderson

Detective Comics #362

"The Night Batman Destroyed Gotham City!"

Story by Gardner Fox

Art by Sheldon Moldoff & Joe Giella

A mere three weeks after being found guilty on charges of attempted murder, extortion, kidnapping, and jaywalking, the Riddler is paroled and already on to his next scheme. His victims, as usual, are Batman and Robin but this time E. Nigma is using a variation on his old riddle M.O.

Every riddle the dastardly felon uses can be read two ways as Batman soon learns to his dismay. When Riddler drops the clue: "What has four legs, smokes a pipe--but cannot walk, see or talk?" the Dynamic Duo immediately come up with the Gotham Stove Insurance Company and head to the building. But when they get there--no Riddler. Just then, a patrol car speeds up and informs our heroes that the Grill Manufacturing Corporation has been pilfered. Of course! A grill has four legs as well!

The next night, after breaking up yet another robbery at the Gotham City Coliseum, the boys hop back in the Batmobile and Robin sits on a tack. Using the World's Greatest Detective brain God gifted him, Batman pulls out the Bat-Magnifier from the U-Haul trailer attached to the back of the vehicle and examines the tack. He finds the following riddle: "What word of five letters has only one when two letters are taken away?" Robin scratches his pre-teen scalp, mumbles all the possible combinations, and exclaims "Stone! The P.J. Stone Brokerage Outfit!" Batman commends his junior partner but then comments that these riddles are so easy even a dunce can solve them. Ignoring the obvious slight, Robin exclaims, "Gosh, you're right, Batman! The Riddler is using clues to throw us off track but if we come up with a smaller version of the answer we first come up with then perhaps we'll arrive at the correct guess!" 

Delighted that they've come up with an odd but spot-on assumption, the Duo head for the Pebble Beach Fun House, since a pebble is smaller than a stone (just in case you nodded off). Sure enough, they arrive mid-heist and engage in a bloody battle with Riddler's "Enigmen." Riddler gets away with half a million in cash but, later, Batman explains to Robin that the greenbacks were phony. Nigma couldn't care less about the counterfeits and, instead, crafts a clue out of the paper, sending the puzzle to Gordon's office. "What city can always feed its people" reads the banner. "Little Gotham City!" pipes up the Boy Wonder. The heroes head out the door and Gordon returns to... whatever it is he does. The boys put the kibosh on Riddler's grand scheme, defuse a bomb, and deliver the villain into the custody of Gotham's fine judicial system. Once again, Batman and Robin have taken a psychotic city-threatener off the streets. At least for a few weeks.

No need for me to double down on my belief that Moldoff and Fox are spiraling. "The Night Batman Destroyed Gotham City!" has a striking cover and that's it; this is dreary, boring rot I wouldn't recommend to a five-year-old (clearly the target audience). I'm never clear what the grand scheme is for these rogues. They're fresh out of the pokey and dreaming up new plots sure to land them right back in. If there's a goal to be reached, it's never shared with the audience.

In the opening scene, Robin is supervising the Wayne Foundation slot-car race for underprivileged children and little Angelo is the winner, but if you look closely, Robin has his hand on the race track at the time the checkered flag is thrown. Perhaps a bit of favoritism? Even funnier is when Robin hands Angelo his certificate of merit and it turns out to be a riddle. Angelo is miffed and looks ready to cold cock his idol!

There are an awful lot of strange companies in Gotham that keep a boatload of cash on hand. The Pebble Beach Fun House probably has handfuls of one dollar bills but the Stove Insurance Company?  Have we heard of Little Gotham before? This is, ostensibly, the poor side of town never visited by the Caped Crusaders until now.-Peter

Jack-What's really puzzling me is why the Riddler isn't on the cover! Instead we get a great-looking but inaccurate rendering of the mess that ends the story, where Batman essentially does a belly flop on a model of Gotham City and somehow defuses a bomb that was so sensitive that it would go off if it sensed his body heat. Of course, the Caped Crusader took a pill to lower his body heat! Where's Mr. Freeze when you need him? I love the crossword puzzle costumes on the Enigmen. Where do the Rogues find these big dopes willing to wear these outfits? Oh, and did you see that Batman used the expression "Rock 'em Sock 'em"? How's that for product placement?

Infantino/Giella

The Brave and the Bold #70

"Cancelled: 2 Super-Heroes!"

Story by Bob Haney

Art by Johnny Craig & Chuck Cuidera

Balthazar T. Balthazar fancies himself the world's greatest collector and he has his sights set on a new goal of collecting the secret identities of super heroes, starting with Batman. His super-computer tells him that Batman is Bruce Wayne, so he sets out to prove it by hiring Nick Cathcart, czar of Gotham City crime, to help.

The first step is to lure Batman to Bruce Wayne's doctor's office at night, where a full-body x-ray is taken without the Dark Knight realizing it. When Balthazar steals an x-ray of Bruce Wayne and compares the two, he is well on his way to proving his theory. Next, a blind street beggar gives Batman a coin that is really a tracking device. After a busy night of rushing around Gotham fighting crime, Batman returns home to Stately Wayne Manor, giving Balthazar yet more evidence.

Quickly figuring out the coin's real purpose, Batman zips over to the Astorbilt Hotel, where Carter and Shierra Hall (a/k/a Hawkman and Hawkgirl) are staying. Batman gives Hawkman the coin, causing Balthazar to suspect that Batman's real secret identity is Carter Hall! Balthazar becomes confused when he sees Hawkman spring into action during a theft at Gotham Museum where Carter Hall was present--could Hall be both heroes?

Balthazar sets up a robbery at Gotham Helio-Port so he can watch and learn. Hawkman and Batman both show up and Balthazar shoots them with darts coated with truth serum. He asks them who they really are and Batman responds that he's Carter Hall, while Hawkman answers that he's Bruce Wayne! The heroes grow angry with each other for revealing each other's secret identities, which leads to a brief battle that ends with both being unmasked outside Balthazar's presence. It turns out that the duo switched identities as a precaution before responding to the crime at the helio-port.

Certain that he knows who's who, Balthazar puts models of Batman and Hawkman in his trophy room, but when Cathcart comes calling, gun in hand, demanding that the collector reveal the identities, Balthazar balks, announcing that the information would be worthless if anyone but he knew it. When Batman and Hawkman show up, Hawkman is knocked out, so Balthazar yanks off his mask to reveal the face of a green alien! Hawkman snaps out of it and reveals that he's really Krog of the planet Mynos! Batman and Hawkman capture Cathcart and Balthazar; Hawkman flies Cathcart to jail, while Batman drives Balthazar in the Batmobile. Sneak that he is, Balthazar looks in the Bat-Glove Compartment and finds a newspaper clipping with a photo of Carter Hall, who (the article says) is really ex-con Carl Morgan.

Balthazar is convinced that Hall is Batman and Wayne is Hawkman so, when he is locked up in the slammer, he gloats about his knowledge of the super-heroes' secret identities and refuses to share it with his cellmate, Cathcart.

I enjoyed all of the twists and turns of "Cancelled: 2 Super-Heroes," though it makes me wonder how the Joker, the Penguin, the Riddler, et al., couldn't pull some of these simple stunts to reveal Batman's true identity. If a third-rate baddie like Balthazar can shoot Batman and Hawkman with darts coated with truth serum, how hard could it be? I enjoyed the art by Johnny Craig and Chuck Cuidera; it's a little bit wacky and reminded me in spots of earlier Craig work, while in others it reminded me of the work of Alex Toth on Batman a few years later.-Jack

Peter-I'm a big fan of Johnny Craig's art for Warren in the 60s but, at times, the Craig/Cuidera art rivals the awfulness of Moldoff/Giella. The strip is rescued by the excitement, energy, and imagination found in Haney's script, qualities seldom found in the regular titles. If I have a nit to pick (other than the cruddy art) it would be the paucity of Hawkman, one of my favorite DC characters. There's not much in the way of a team-up here.

Next Week...
The Boys Once Again 
Thank Odin For
Steve Ditko!!!

The Hitchcock Project-How to Get Rid of Your Wife by Robert Gould [9.11]

by Jack Seabrook

"How to Get Rid of Your Wife" is a lighthearted look at psychological warfare in the setting of an unhappy marriage. This episode first aired on CBS on Friday, December 20, 1963, and the onscreen credit states that it is "Based on a teleplay by Robert Gould." That teleplay was also titled "How to Get Rid of Your Wife" and it was written for a BBC anthology series called BBC Sunday-Night Play; the episode aired in the U.K. on May 26, 1963, and is lost. Presumably, the people looking for stories for The Alfred Hitchcock Hour liked this one and bought the rights, though the writer who revised it for American TV is uncredited.

The light touch is evident from the opening credits of the American version, which are displayed over a playful, jazzy score by Lyn Murray. The show begins with a meek-looking man, Gerald Swinney, holding a bouquet of flowers and gazing at a poster outside a theater; the poster features a drawing of a scantily clad dancer and advertises: "Unlimited Engagement--Rose Feather--Appearing Nightly." After walking down an alley, Gerald enters the back of the theater through the stage door and politely asks the stage manager if he "'might have a word with Miss Feather.'"

Bob Newhart as Gerald Swinney

The stage manager looks at the newspaper in his lap and recognizes Swinney, since the front page features large photos of Gerald and his wife Edith under a headline that reads, "Jury Reaches Verdict in Swinney Case in One Hour." This sets up the show's central mystery: who was on trial and why, and what was the verdict? The answers are not revealed until the end of the episode.

Rosie Feather is sitting in front of her makeup mirror and she welcomes Gerald into her dressing room. He apologizes and hands her the flowers but, to his surprise, she thanks him for the publicity, even though she realizes that it came at someone else's expense. She brings him a bottle of beer and asks him to call her Rosie before disappearing behind a screen to change clothes. At this point, Gerald begins to narrate in voiceover and there is a dissolve to a scene from the past; most of the episode will consist of an extended flashback that will answer the questions raised by the newspaper headline.

Jane Withers as Edith Swinney

After Gerald says that he and his wife have been married for fifteen years, she is introduced as a woman whose appearance is plain and frumpy in comparison to that of the glamorous dancer, Rosie Feather. Edith berates Gerald, yet he remains calm and seems amused by the situation. Although it is revealed that they were financially dependent on her mother, he announces that he wants a divorce, something she refuses. When he discovers that she got rid of his fishing equipment, he tells her that "'Well, Edith, I'm just going to have to get rid of you.'"

Gerald begins to outline his plan and his campaign in voiceover and, the following Saturday night, he walks home from a bar with Mr. Penny, his next-door neighbor, to find that Edith has locked him out of their house. Swinney tells his neighbors that his wife has not been well since her mother died and Mrs. Penny calls him a saint.

Joyce Jameson as Rosie Feather

Having secured the first witnesses to Edith's strange behavior and her treatment of him, Gerald continues his campaign. The next morning, he makes breakfast for himself and leaves Edith's coffee on the kitchen island next to an open box of weed killer, causing his wife to check each breakfast item for traces of poison. Gerald has succeeded in planting the seed of concern in her mind regarding his intentions. She accuses him of trying to frighten her into leaving but he denies it while holding a straight razor, his face covered in shaving cream.

Mary Scott as Laura

Edith telephones Laura who, it is implied through dialogue, is her sister. After Laura insists that Edith is imaging things, explaining that Gerald is "'much too gentle,'" Edith invites Laura and her husband Henry to lunch that weekend to see that "'Gerald is a monster.'" Outside, in the yard, Gerald digs what looks like a grave, yet he insists that it is a fish pond. His neighbor, Mr. Penny, wanders over and witnesses Edith berating her husband; as his wife did earlier, Penny tells Gerald that he "'must be some kind of saint.'"

George Petrie as Henry

That weekend, Laura and Henry come for dinner and, when Henry goes outside, where Gerald is digging the large hole, Swinney claims that he is just trying to "'cheer up the place.'" Laura and Henry dismiss Edith's concerns and suggest that she see a doctor. During dinner, a delivery man brings a tank, which Edith insists is to contain acid (presumably to dissolve her corpse) but which Gerald says is to line the fish pond. Laura and Henry grow more concerned about Edith's sanity and Laura suggests that it is Gerald who is in danger from his unstable wife! 

Ann Morgan Guilbert as
the pet shop woman

After the guests leave, Edith throws Gerald out of their house, following him into the yard, where the neighbors overhear her yelling at him. He does not leave, however, and in the next scene he is seen calmly lying on his bed (the Swinneys have separate bedrooms), reading a book and gazing at a signed photo of Rosie Feather on his nightstand; his bags are packed and sit on the floor by his bed. The next morning, Gerald takes his bags and leaves, timing his sad walk down the suburban street to intersect with the time that the neighbors walk by on their way to church so that they can again express sympathy.

Robert Karnes as the sergeant

With Gerald gone, Edith inspects his bedroom and finds the photo of Rosie under his pillow. The jealous wife immediately visits Rosie in her dressing room and accuses the dancer of being involved with Gerald. Rosie, who has never met Swinney, gladly agrees never to see him again and has the doorman escort Edith out. In voiceover, Gerald explains that Edith next went to the bank where Gerald works and threatened to expose him. He smugly concludes that "'it was all working out very well.'"

William Wellman, Jr.,
as the delivery man

The final phase of Gerald's plan begins as he visits a pet shop and buys two rats from the female proprietor, an oddball who calls one of the rats Romeo and aims a kiss at him. Back at home, Gerald is in the kitchen peeling potatoes with a large knife. After claiming that she smells Rosie's perfume on Gerald's clothes, Edith opens the cabinet under the sink and screams when she sees the two rats. Mrs. Swinney visits a drugstore and buys rat poison, which Gerald later discovers at home, hidden in a hatbox. Edith soon discovers him packing his bags again and he reads her a letter that he has written, in which he admits fault. When he says he plans to leave the next morning, she tries to stop him.

That night, Edith tries to turn the tables on Gerald by making her own hot chocolate, presumably fearing that he might poison her drink if he were to prepare it. After pouring herself a cupful, she adds a heaping spoonful of rat poison to the pan of hot chocolate on the stove and leaves the poisoned liquid for him to help himself. He prepares a cup but is not shown drinking it.

Joseph Hamilton as
Oscar, the stage doorman

The next morning, Edith funds Gerald in bed, not moving, and assumes that he drank the fatal hot chocolate. After unpacking his suitcases, she calls Henry to report that Gerald has poisoned himself. A police sergeant comes to the house to investigate and, to his surprise, Gerald wakes up. He explains that he decided he did not want the hot chocolate and poured it out so that Edith would not be upset if she thought he had spurned her hospitality.

The next scene finds Edith in court, on trial for attempted murder. The district attorney questions most of the characters who have been seen so far in the episode, with the notable exception of the woman from the pet store, to whom Gerald had given a fake name. The D.A. argues that Edith planned to kill her husband in order to prevent him from leaving her and she is found guilty. The long flashback ends and the scene returns to Gerald in Rosie's dressing room, all smiles as he reads the newspaper article about the verdict. The camera pans down to show the rest of the front page, revealing the sub-headline, "Woman Gets Five Years." Rosie emerges from behind the screen, dressed in a tight gown. After Swinney asks her to call him Gerald, she recommends divorce and they agree to dine together after her show.

Helene Winston as Mrs. Penny

Gerald leaves through the stage door and walks through the alley, where the woman from the pet shop is waiting for him, having followed his case in the newspaper and having recognized his photograph. She asks Gerald why he never told anyone about the rats he purchased and, after her implied threat to expose him, they agree to have dinner together and walk off, arm in arm. The show ends with Gerald looking longingly at the poster of Rosie.

Harold Gould as the D.A.

The surprise ending does not hold up to scrutiny. Edith did try to murder Gerald, so her conviction was appropriate. During the trial, her attorney argued for extenuating circumstances and showed that her house was kept spotlessly clean, suggesting that the rats were planted there. If the pet shop woman were to tell the authorities about Gerald's purchase of the rats, it would be his word against hers, and even if she were to be believed, he committed no crime. Perhaps Gerald is more concerned with his reputation, which could suffer if the truth were known; however, he did such a good job of convincing everyone that Edith was a shrew and that he was a saint that it seems unlikely they would all change their opinions so quickly.

Bill Quinn as Mr. Penny

A better choice would have been to end the show with Gerald having succeeded in getting rid of his wife and planning to have dinner with Rosie. Bob Newhart is perfect as Gerald, the meek, mild-mannered everyman who is the last person one would expect to mastermind a plot to have his wife thrown in jail. Jane Withers plays Edith as a one-dimensional shrew, never evoking any sympathy in the viewer (or any of the other characters) despite being the victim of psychological warfare. Joyce Jameson is beautiful and likeable as Rosie who, despite her profession, seems more innocent than either of the Swinneys. The rest of the cast is made up of familiar TV character actors, all of whom play their roles to perfection. The Swinneys' house is recognizable to fans of classic TV as the home of the Cleavers on Leave it to Beaver.

"How to Get Rid of Your Wife" is effectively directed by Alf Kjellin (1920-1988), who mixes the bland, suburban setting with more noirish camerawork and lighting in the scenes in and around Rosie's dressing room, as if Gerald has passed from the light of his day-to-day existence into the darkness of sexual desire. Kjellin was born in Sweden and started out in the movies in 1937 as an actor. He began acting on TV in 1952 and continued until 1979. He started directing films in 1955 and worked as a director on American television from 1961 to 1985, concurrent with his acting work. As an actor, he appeared in the 1966 film adaptation of Jack Finney's Assault on a Queen and in "Don't Look Behind You." As a director, he was at the helm for one episode of the half-hour Hitchcock series ("Coming Home") and eleven episodes of the hour series.

Two of the more noirish shots

Robert Gould, who wrote the original teleplay for "How to Get Rid of Your Wife," was a British TV writer from 1959 to 1981. Gould also wrote a TV show titled "How to Get Rid of Your Husband" that aired on the U.K. anthology series, Theatre 625 on July 24, 1966. This episode is also lost.

Harry Hines as the pharmacist

Bob Newhart (1929-2024) became famous with his 1960 comedy album, The Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart, and soon became a fixture on the small screen, starring in five TV series--The Bob Newhart Show (1961-1962), The Bob Newhart Show (1972-1978), Newhart (1982-1990), Bob (1992-1993), and George and Leo (1997-1998)--as well as having recurring roles late in his career on two more popular series The Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon. He appeared in films from 1968 to 2011 and won three Grammy Awards and two Emmy Awards. Like many of this episode's cast members, this was his only role in the Hitchcock TV series.

Gail Bonney as Mrs. Harris

Jane Withers (1926-2021) began appearing on radio at age three and had moved to Hollywood by age five, where she became one of the top child stars of the 1930s. She made the transition to adult actress and her screen career lasted from 1932 to 2002. In addition to doing voice work in films and on TV later in her career, she became well-known as Josephine the Plumber in a series of TV commercials for Comet cleanser that aired from 1963 to 1974.

Joyce Jameson (1927-1987) appeared on screen from 1951 to 1985, including roles in Tales of Terror (1962), The Comedy of Terrors (1963), Good Neighbor Sam (1964), and Death Race 2000 (1975). She also appeared on The Twilight Zone and did voice work. Sadly, she committed suicide in 1987.

In smaller roles:

• Mary Scott (1921-2009) as Laura; born in Los Angeles, she appeared in movies beginning in 1942 and on TV beginning in 1951. She is best remembered today for her roles in eight episodes of the Hitchcock TV show, including "The Diplomatic Corpse." In the late 1940s, she was on Broadway in a production of Shaw's Caesar and Cleopatra when she met the English actor Cedric Hardwicke; she got pregnant and he divorced his wife. Hardwicke and Scott wed in 1950, when he was 57 years old and she was 29. She later wrote an autobiography called Nobody Ever Accused Me of Being a 'Lady,' and there is an interesting obituary here.
• George Petrie (1912-1997) as Henry; he started out on radio, played many bit parts on The Honeymooners, and appeared in one other episode of The Alfred Hitchcock Hour, "An Out for Oscar."
• Ann Morgan Guilbert (1928-2016) as the pet shop woman; best known as Millie, the next-door neighbor on The Dick Van Dyke Show (1961-1966), she had a long career on screen from 1959 to 2016. She played recurring roles on several TV shows, including The Nanny (1993-1999), and also appeared on stage.
• Robert Karnes (1917-1979) as the police sergeant; he had many small roles, often as a law enforcement officer, in a screen career that lasted from 1946 to 1980. He appeared in eight episodes of the Hitchcock show, including "Escape to Sonoita," and he was also on The Twilight Zone, Night Gallery, and The Night Stalker.
• William Wellman, Jr. (1937- ) as the delivery man who brings the tank; the son of film director William Wellman, he was onscreen from 1945 to 2007.
• Joseph Hamilton (1899-1965) as Oscar, the stage doorman; he started in vaudeville as a teenager and then appeared in local theater for decades before embarking on a career onscreen that lasted from 1954 to 1965. He appeared on The Twilight Zone and in five episodes of the Hitchcock show, including "The Five-Forty Eight."
• Helene Winston (1922-2004) as the next-door neighbor, Mrs. Penny; she was a Canadian actress who appeared on screen, mostly on TV, from 1955 to 1991, including a regular role on a Canadian series called King of Kensington (1975-1980).
• Harold Gould (1923-2010) as the district attorney; born Harold Goldstein, he had a long screen career, mostly on TV, from 1951 to 2010. He also appeared on The Twilight Zone.
• Bill Quinn (1912-1994) as Mr. Penny; he was on film as a child in 1923-1924 and then returned to the screen in 1956 and stayed till 1989. He was seen in countless TV shows and played Dr. Melnitz in four episodes of The Odd Couple. He had a part in Hitchcock's The Birds (1963) and was in one episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents, "You Can't Be a Little Girl All Your Life." Quinn was Bob Newhart's father-in-law.
• Harry Hines (1889-1967) as the pharmacist who sells Edith the rat poison; he was on screen from 1950 to 1967 and appeared in three episodes of the Hitchcock show, including "Off Season." He is best-remembered as the man who crawls under the merry-go-round at the end of Strangers on a Train (1951).
• Gail Bonney (1901-1984) as Mrs. Harris, who speaks with Mrs. Penny on the street; born Goldie Bonowitz, she was on screen from 1948 to 1979 and played many bit parts. In addition to roles on Night Gallery and The Night Stalker, she was one of the most prolific actresses on the Hitchcock TV show, appearing in eleven episodes in all.

Watch "How to Get Rid of Your Wife" online here.

Sources:

Grams, Martin, and Patrik Wikstrom. The Alfred Hitchcock Presents Companion. OTR Pub, 2001.

"How to Get Rid of Your Wife." The Alfred Hitchcock Hour, season 2, episode 11, CBS, 20 December 1963.

IMDb, www.imdb.com.

Simon Coward, Invisible Technology Ltd. LOST UK TV Shows Search Engine, web.archive.org/web/20131203003645/lostshows.com/default.aspx?programme=8a04641e-144f-4e94-b1ec-7603336a98eb. Accessed 10 Mar. 2025.

Wikipedia, www.wikipedia.org.

Listen to Al Sjoerdsma discuss "Father and Son" here!

In two weeks: "A Matter of Murder," starring Darren McGavin!