The Critical Guide to
the Warren Illustrated Magazines
1964-1983
by Uncle Jack
& Cousin Peter
Gogos |
"Where Satan Dwells ..." ★1/2
Story by Al Hewetson
Art by Sal Trapani
"COD--Collect on Death!" ★★
Story by Dave Wood
Art by Dave Cockrum
"The Water World!" ★★1/2
Story by Buddy Saunders
Art by Pablo Marcos
"Death of the Wizard" ★★★
Story and Art by Pat Boyette
"Harvest of Horror!" ★★
Story by Phil Seuling
Art by Frank Brunner
"The Dragon-Prow!" ★
Story by Steve Skeates
Art by Richard Bassford
"Mad Jack's Girl" ★★★1/2
Story & Art by Gary Kaufman
"Where Satan Dwells ..." |
Within minutes, the Creep finds he's literally into the book, being interviewed by the lead character, Eric Shores, who is about to thrust a dagger into the heart of a comely maid. Eric beseeches Creepy to find his father and lift a curse that has been placed on Eric by a being known as Groton. After a short adventure wherein Uncle Creepy finds the lad's Pop and saves the day, the host finds himself lifted out of the pages and back in the little shop. As Creepy exits the store, the bookseller tears off his mask and reveals his true identity, that of Cousin Eerie! I don't mind these goofy horror host adventures now and then but I'm not sure, outside of the Vampi stories, Warren ever came up with anything on a par with the EC host-starrers. This is certainly not very good; it suffers from bad art and an unfocused plot that elicits the wrong kind of groans.
"The Water World!" |
Three astronauts crash-land on "The Water World," a world seemingly devoid of land, and attempt to survive on a small raft with very little food and water. There's not much else to this SF/fantasy tale other than the requisite shock ending (which is really not all that bad) and the nice Marcos art. The intro and character interaction are obviously "inspired" by Planet of the Apes. This was Pablo's first American work and, of course, he would go on to have a long, celebrated career working on, among other things, Marvel's mid-'70s black-and-white line (Planet of the Apes, Tales of the Zombie, etc.). Marcos would contribute several times to a Warren zine over the next decade.
Pat Boyette is kind enough to donate more of his twisted, malformed, and diseased characters to a fantasy tale surrounding Merlin and his love for a demon-wench. The woman steals The Book of Knowledge from Merlin, leaving the wizard at the mercy of his justifiably-perturbed mentor, Breys. Merlin attempts to retrieve the book but is, instead, transformed into a huge tree, where he waits for the day "he will again be needed to serve Briton." Like some of Boyette's previous work, "Death of the Wizard" features some stunningly macabre art but a feather-weight script. It's all a bit confusing to someone who doesn't follow King Arthur.
"Harvest of Horror!" |
"Mad Jack's Girl" |
Mad Jack and his boys split heads and break kneecaps, all in the name of fun, but Alice, "Mad Jack's Girl," has had enough. She makes Jack promise her he won't kill anyone but Jack and his boys break that promise and Alice gathers up the corpses for a tea party. When Jack arrives for a little sweetness, his gal adds him to the party. Bizarre and strangely new-wave (long before it became the rage), "Mad Jack’s Girl" might be best typified as Mod or British. Spare art, at times no more than half-figures or shadows, only enhances the uneasiness of the storyline. I'm not big on vague outcomes, but something about Alice's cozy little party and her insane ranting about the dormouse gives me chills.-Peter
Jack-"Mad Jack's Girl" was a nice surprise at the end of a mediocre issue of Creepy. I really like the sparse art and motorcycle-gang setting, but the ending was a disappointment. Boyette's "Death of a Wizard" is also not bad, with impressive art and a fair story. It bugged me that the book in "Where Satan Dwells ..." was called Where Dwells Satan (proofreading again!) and I thought "C.O.D.--Collect on Death" suffered from poor writing and amateurish art, though one panel with faces in a dream was nice. I'm surprised at how weak Cockrum was; he was a long way off from the X-Men! "The Water-World!" is a fairly good story with okay art and an ending that came out of nowhere, while 'The Dragon-Prow" has oddly formal writing and art that tries to imitate Wally Wood but falls short. Saving the worst for last, Phil Seuling's "Harvest of Horror!" is a complete mess, helped only slightly by rough, early Brunner art. It is interesting to see these artists who would excel at Marvel in their early, rough stage.
Vallejo |
"Parting is Such Sweet Horror"★★★★
Story & Art by Tom Sutton
"Eye of Cyclops!"★★★
Story by Buddy Saunders
Art by Jaime Brocal
"He Who Laughs Last... is Grotesque!"★★
Story by Al Hewetson
Art by Mike Royer
"Food for Thought"★
Story by Steve Skeates
Art by Bill Fraccio & Tony Tallarico
"The Vow of the Wizard..."★★
Story by Ernie Colon
Art by Ernie Colon & Frank McLaughlin
"The Sound of Wings"★★1/2
Story by F. Paul Wilson
Art by Carlos Garzon
"Lair of the Horned Man"★★1/2
Story & Art by Alan Weiss
"Parting is Such Sweet Horror" |
Now, if "Parting is Such Sweet Horror" isn't exactly what this magazine is supposed to be all about, I don't know what is! It doesn't make a whole lot of sense if you try to understand how or why these things are happening, but Tom Sutton's art is fabulous and the story goes from one goofy/gross event to the next, ending with the woman being sucked into the blob and the man being impaled on a wall of spikes. Where did the spikes come from? Who cares? I think that, with this story, I have officially joined the club that appreciates this stuff.
"Eye of Cyclops!" |
The giant Cyclops is terrorizing merchant vessels in Ancient Greece, but Nicanor and Periander have a plan to end the menace. They push boulders down on him from above but he captures them and puts them in a cage in his cave with other Greek sailors. Next morning, he selects Periander for his breakfast and the frightened man reveals that his fellows are cutting their way out of the cage. Nicanor escapes and throws a sharp spear in the giant's huge, single eye, thinking that he is blinding the descendant of the Cyclops that Ulysses once blinded. Unfortunately, this is the same Cyclops that Ulysses blinded and now he has a glass eye and a handy monkey on his shoulder to guide him!
"Eye of Cyclops!" is the first Warren story drawn by Jaime Brocal, a Spanish artist who had been drawing comics in Europe for over a decade as of 1971. His work here is excellent and both serves to tell the story in a clean, crisp fashion and to provide appealing visuals. His work on characters' faces is especially good. I was surprised and pleased by the ending as well, though it's a bit of a cheat to see a big squish when the spear hits the supposedly glass eye.
"He Who Laughs Last... is Grotesque!" |
"Food for Thought" |
A spaceship loses power and drifts through space, so one of the three people aboard kills and eats the other two to survive. He soon finds a planet with lush, green vegetation but, not long after he eats some berries, he is himself eaten by a giant plant.
Leave it to Fraccio and Tallarico to deliver the nadir of the issue, at least so far. "Food for Thought" is another terrible story by Steve Skeates, who is not impressing me of late.
Compare with Vallejo's cover! ("The Vow of the Wizard...") |
I don't enjoy sword and sorcery stories and I don't much like Ernie Colon's art, so this one did not impress me much. It's a darn site better than the one that preceded it, though, and at least the plot makes sense. I did not see then end coming but wow, the scene in the story doesn't come close to matching the cover!
"The Sound of Wings" |
Nothing special about the story, but I like Carlos Garzon's photo-realistic art very much. It's unclear exactly what happens to Asquith, but the giant bird's footprint is a cool image and I tend to enjoy stories set in the desert.
Future star Pat Broderick contributes another drawing to the Eerie Fan Fare page before the final story, "Lair of the Horned Man." Indian chief Ronanka is intrigued when medicine man Taktana tells him of a beautiful maiden who has been seem roaming the mountain forests. Ronanka heads out to find her and, when he does, she is being menaced by a man-beast! Ronanka battles the creature and kills it; the woman, Laneeah, is grateful and says she'll heal him. Out of nowhere, Taktana, the medicine man appears, telling Ronanka that the man-beast was guarding a magic totem that Taktana now may use to create other man-beasts.
"Lair of the Horned Man" |
Alan Weiss writes and draws an entertainingly old-fashioned adventure story, leavened with some magic and horror to make it suitable for the pages of Eerie. The art is above-average and I'll take a story of Native Americans over more sword and sorcery any day of the week.-Jack
What the hell is going on in this mess? ("Parting is Such Sweet Horror") |
A young F. Paul Wilson (in the first of two Warren contributions) was still a decade away from bestseller status, but "The Sound of Wings" has the makings of a good horror story buried deep in its bowels. Unfortunately, it doesn't emerge for more than a couple of dazzling panels before settling back into its Lovecraftian trappings. Carlos Garzon's art is much better than Wilson's script. "He Who Laughs Last..." is the only story this issue I can recommend. It's a funny satire that completely fooled me. Al Hewetson, who has led me down a predictable path several times before, seems to have been writing that story before coming up with a clever hook and delivering a delightful fantasy. You see, there's hope for everyone? Except the Frallarico Bros.
Sanjulian |
"Death's Dark Angel"★★★1/2
Story by Archie Goodwin
Art by Jose Gonzalez
"The Eye Of Ozirios"★★
Story by Gardner Fox
Art by Billy Graham
"Quest"★★1/2
Story & Art by Jeff Jones
"To Kill a God"★★★
Story and Art by Wally Wood
Vampirella spends the night sleeping in a graveyard, but her slumber is disturbed by a pair of grave robbers who break into the Wade family crypt. Inside lurks a winged demon named Skaar, who kills the grave robbers and overpowers Vampirella. Meanwhile, inside the Wade house, rich old Mr. Wade demonstrates what a creep he is by treating his doctor with contempt before he wanders out to the graveyard to chat with Skaar. Wade is terrified of dying and the arrival of the unusual woman from Drakulon gives him hope.
Adam and Conrad Van Helsing happen to be driving along a nearby highway and Wade orders the sheriff to pull them over and bring them in. Skaar has Vampirella chained up in the basement and Wade has smashed her vial of serum, so she is beginning to get very hungry for blood. Wade quizzes the Van Helsings about vampire lore and confirms that a bite from one of the fanged folk will make him immortal. Just what he wanted! Vampirella refuses to comply with Wade's wishes, so he locks the Van Helsings in with her, planning to wait till her hunger grows overpowering.
"Death's Dark Angel" |
It turns out Skaar could only be released when he finds a soul blacker than his own to replace him. Now that Wade is dead, "Death's Dark Angel" will take his soul and be free. Oh, and by the way, before he was a demon, Skaar was Wade's father! Vampirella turns into a bat and flies off until her next thrilling adventure.
Amazonia's shirt just wasn't built for battle. ("The Eye of Ozirios") |
Throkklon the Terrible lives in Castle Grimkrag and is one bad dude, robbing travelers who pass by on the road, killing the men and enslaving the women. Amazonia, Queen of Karkassone, has had enough! Grabbing her magic sword, Excalifer, she rides to Grimkrag and starts swinging that sword so hard that her shirt falls off. She is overwhelmed by sheer numbers and Throkklon ties her to a burning stake. Fortunately, she wriggles free and thrusts her sword into "The Eye of Ozirios," causing Throkklon and his men to disintegrate.
Hoo boy, when I see names like "Throkklon" and "Grimkrag," I know it's going to be a chore to plod through another of Gardner Fox's sword and sorcery epics. Billy Graham's usual nice art makes it less difficult, though the hilarity of Amazonia fighting so hard that her shirt falls off makes it hard to take her bloody battle seriously.
"Quest" |
Jeff Jones's art is interesting mainly for his use of shadows and the way he suggests rather than shows, allowing the brain to fill in what the eye can't necessarily make out. His prose is nothing special and the time and place of the story are confusing--there is a Native American, a blonde woman, a woolly mammoth and a saber-toothed tiger. This is not what I'd call "sequential art," where words and pictures work together to tell a story and one cannot understand the tale without both items. These, instead, are pictures with captions; the only time the pictures add to the words is in the last panel, where we see the dead girl transformed into some sort of Pterodactyl. I think.
As soon as he arrives in Egypt, the new Roman military governor falls hard for a gorgeous Egyptian princess but finds that it is necessary "To Kill a God!" to win her for his own. She tries to give herself to a priest of Anubis, but the Roman kills the priest. The princess then gives herself to Anubis himself and they fly off on a Sphinx to the land of the dead. The Roman follows, armed with a magical bow and arrow, and succeeds in killing Anubis after a pitched battle. Sadly, Anubis bit both the Roman and the princess and they find themselves turning into werewolves. With nowhere else to go, Marc Antony and Cleopatra sail to the Balkans and settle in what would later be called Transylvania.
In an issue with no shortage of beautiful women, leave it to Wally Wood to draw the most stunning. The censorship we saw only a couple of issues ago that required breasts to be covered chastely by flowing hair has been thrown out the window, and Cleopatra prances around as topless as a Playboy Playmate. Wood has always been great at drawing Roman soldiers and gorgeous women, and he excels here. The story is only fair, and the end a bit of an afterthought, but oh, that art! The entire issue may well have the best art we've seen since the early days at Warren.-Jack
Peter-Before we continue, we should note the striking cover by Sanjulian, an artist who will define the next decade of Vampi. "Death's Dark Angel" is a mixed bag, with Vampirella yet again becoming a supporting character in her own strip. The one important piece of mythology we learn this issue is that Vampi's bite is not infectious. I thought the scene where Van Helsing Sr. thrusts a stake at our girl and hits the crooked sheriff instead must have been some kind of slapstick wink on Archie's part. I love Tom Sutton's work, but artist Jose Gonzalez definitely has what it takes to lift this strip to a higher plane. Is it just me or do his crooked cops look like they were drawn by Mort Drucker?
I'm grateful to Gardner Fox for writing lots of naked boobs into his script for "The Eye of Ozirios," but would it be asking too much for ol' Gar to make some sense out of said script? I sure can't. Barbarian queen sword John Carradine big eye pulpety pulpety pulpety. I'll give "Ozirios" two heaving, sweaty, luscious, globular stars for Billy's fine art. I think, for the most part, Jeff Jones succeeds in both art and script departments with "Quest," a very odd experiment that seems more suited for an underground comic than for a "mainstream" publisher. I like Jones's purposely vague narrative, with no explanation given for its final reveal. Call me a heretic but I think Wally's work on "To Kill a God" is his best since the EC days. The only problem is that half of the gorgeous graphics are hidden by lots of dull words. So, visually this issue gets an A, but the overall prose grade has to be a light C.
Next Week... The War is Winding Down |