Batman in the 1960s Issue 56: March/April 1969

  

The Caped Crusader in the 1960s
by Jack Seabrook
& Peter Enfantino

Adams

Detective Comics #385

"Die Small--Die Big!"

Story by Robert Kanigher

Art by Bob Brown & Joe Giella

"Hunt for the Helpless Hostage!"

Story by Mike Friedrich

Art by Gil Kane & Murphy Anderson

Batman is the number one idol of mailman Herbert Small. Herbert's pastimes include make-up, making realistic dummies, and keeping track of the Dark Knight's adventures. When seriously bad news is delivered to Herbert from his blasé medic ("Yep, the heightened sounds inside your head signal that you're maybe a month away from dying. Please make sure your account is paid up and don't bother with a hospital!"), Herbert makes it his life work to protect his hero from harm. How will he do that? Well...

One day, while delivering mail, Herbert overhears a group of bad guys plotting the demise of the Caped Crusader and witnesses the men leaving their hideout. Coincidentally, at that moment, Batman tangles with another group of thugs and Herbert watches in amazement while the hero dispatches them in no time flat. But... Herbert theorizes... if the underworld should ever learn the secret identity of Batman, they would kill him just like that. So, rather than working on a way to deliver mail faster and more efficiently, Herbert goes home, whips up a mannikin with his own face, and sends it to Wayne Manor, where he knows there is a big dinner going on. Herbie assumes that if Commissioner Gordon (in a rare appearance outside of the Gotham Golf Club) sees the dummy, he'll alert Batman and the hero will race over to Herbert's apartment and nab the would-be killers.

Forgetting all the flaws in this logic, Herbie runs home and applies make-up to resemble one of the mobsters he saw during the big secret meeting and heads over to their lair, where he informs his "colleagues" that Batman is really... Herbert Small! After writing down his apartment address for his new buddies, Herbert races home to await his fate. Back at Wayne Manor, the dummy has been found at the front door and brought in for examination. After the mannikin  has been unmasked (and Bruce breathes fresh air that it's not carrying the face of a billionaire), the Commish and the rest of the guests leave the party. Bruce searches his computer-like brain and suddenly screams out, "Ah hah, I have it, the face belongs to the nobody who delivers our mail!"

Racing to Herbert's mangy apartment, Batman arrives just before the hapless letter carrier is about to be ventilated. Crashing through the skylight (what would Gotham be without its plethora of overhead windows?), Bats rescues Herbert only to watch in horror as one of the criminals puts a bullet in the mailman. With the bad guys out of commission, Batman asks if there's anything he can do to make Herbert's last moments tolerable. Though Herbert clearly says "Take me to the hospital, you idiot!," Batman mistakenly interprets the man's final words as "Take your mask off!" and does so. Herbert's parrot begins to sing, the sun rises in Gotham, and Batman sighs.

There's nothing salvageable from the wreck of Big Bob Kanigher's meandering and sappy script nor from the ghastly Brown/Giella graphics found in "Die Small-Die Big!" I know Herbert was dying from some unknown malady (I'd have gotten a second opinion), but why would he think this elaborate scheme (which would net him possibly a half-dozen bad guys) would work and, had he lived, would he do it all over again for the next batch of underworld thugs? It's amazing how many otherwise-normal Gothamites have hidden skills.

In the much-better second installment of the new Batgirl series, our heroine finds the missing Mark Hanner (y'know, the handsome hunk that Babs Gordon has been stalking?) and puts the cuffs on bad guy Web Foote. But, hang on, the best news is that the chick Babs has seen Mark with is actually... his sister (yeah, never mind those too-cosy panels of Mark and his "sister" in an un-sibling-esque clutch!). Babs returns to work the next day and Mark comes in to ask her out on a date. A happy ending! This little eight-pager has so much more life and sensibility than its bigger stepbrother. The plot is disposable (and half the strip seems to be made up of flashbacks to the first chapter) but it's readable and the art is fabulous, detailed, and exciting; give me more!-Peter

Jack-The Batman story is pretty good, but why would Commissioner Gordon think that a replica Batman would have his real, secret face under the mask? The real highlight of the issue is the Batgirl story, which boasts fabulous art by Kane and Anderson. This is even better than last issue's art and it gives the Neal Adams cover a run for its money. The art is so good that it makes the story more enjoyable than it should be.

Adams/Infantino

Batman #210

"The Case of the Purr-loined Pearl!"

Story by Frank Robbins

Art by Irv Novick & Joe Giella

Catwoman is out of prison and instead of starting a crime wave, she opens a Slenderizing Salon! Certain that she's up to something, Batman and Robin think she's behind a robbery where the getaway car is the Kitty-Car, but the crooks admit that they bought the vehicle at a used car lot!

The feline criminal is not going straight, however, and mails letters to eight female prisoners, all of whom are about to be released. When they get out, they are chauffeured to Catwoman's lair in a new and improved Kitty-Car. Meanwhile, Bruce Wayne learns that the Nizam of  Nepal is coming to Gotham City for a visit and will display the priceless Potala Pearl in his turban. Bruce calls Commissioner Gordon and offers to let the Nizam stay at Wayne Manor, which is a step up from the Motel 6 that the city had planned.

At the Slenderizing Salon, Catwoman tells the eight former prisoners that she wants to start an all-girl gang to strike back at men, but the ladies aren't taken by the idea and put up a fight. Catwoman easily bests them all and tells them that their training is underway. Nine days later, the gals are slender and all are dressed in identical Catwoman costumes. They pile into the Kitty-Car and head for Wayne Manor, where the Nizam has bedded down for the night.

Batman and Robin are waiting for the attack and, despite taking some good hits, Batman manages to interrupt Catwoman as she attempts to steal the pearl. He tricks her into getting tangled up in a web of sticky yarn and the Nizam and his pearl are safe.

Needless to say, the cover is the highlight of this issue, with Infantino's cool layout and Adams's gorgeous pencils and inks. It's a shame that Novick and Giella's art inside can't compare to the cover--Novick seems incapable of drawing a sexy woman. There are a surfeit of Cat puns, none of which are funny, and the names of the eight female prisoners are just goofy--Florid Flo and Big Barbara are plus-sized, Timid Trixie is reticent, and Sultry Sarah is Novick's attempt at pulchritude. The old and new Kitty-Cars are pretty cool, as is Catwoman's retro-costume, but this story doesn't add up to much in the end.-Jack

Peter- Once again, we are in agreement, Jack. I'm not sure why Catwoman went to the trouble of trying eight cons rather than just heading down to Thug*Mart and renting a batch down there. It's strange that no reasoning is given for Catwoman's costume, which looks nothing like we've seen before. The cover is the highlight here.

Novick

Detective Comics #386

"Stand-In for Murder"

Story by Frank Robbins

Art by Bob Brown & Joe Giella

"The Teen-Age Gap!"

Story by Mike Friedrich

Art by Ross Andru & Mike Esposito

On a Gotham airstrip, a top-secret Air Force rocket known as the VTOL (Vertical Take-Off and Landing) is about to be test-flown by none other than... millionaire playboy Bruce Wayne! After receiving the necessary cautions, the jet takes off and accomplishes an astounding feat above the clouds... the vehicle can land in exactly the same spot it launched from. Wow! But when one of the techs pulls back the cockpit canopy he notices something odd... there's no Bruce Wayne!

The military brass immediately order that Commissioner Gordon be alerted (rather than, I don't know, the Pentagon) and that Batman be called in to investigate. Gordon gets on the Hot-Line to Bats but there's no answer. Is Batman/Bruce Wayne really dead? Well, to get to the bottom of this elaborate farce plot, we have to travel back in time to earlier that morning, where we see an ascot-laden Bruce Wayne preparing to head to the airstrip when he stops to look through the Batman mail he picked up at Gordon's office the night before. After tossing the usual nude photos from adoring fans and requests for autographs, Master Bruce comes upon a strangely written note informing the Caped Crusader that a big heist will be happening at Gotham First National in about half an hour. Bruce Wayne/Batman can't be in two places at once. Or can he?

Telling Alfred that the heist takes precedence over a photo op in a really snazzy plane, Bruce orders the world's most over-worked butler to call "Mr. Morse," Bruce Wayne's stand-in! Morse is given his assignment--to sit in a test jet and risk his life--and he heads for the airstrip while the Batmobile races to Gotham First National. Bats foils the criminal activity but is trapped in an armored car full of tear gas while, miles away, Mr. Morse is run off the road by a cement mixer and kidnapped by its shady, obviously non-union, driver. The man tosses Morse into the truck and drives it off a pier into Gotham Harbor. The driver then exits the truck, revealing a third Bruce Wayne, hops into Morse's convertible, and heads to the airfield.

There we pick up the beginning of the story and find out all the juicy behind-the-scenes details. The latest Wayne clone is actually disgraced businessman Carlyle Crane, who has rigged this impossibly complex ruse in order to kill Bruce Wayne (instead of, you know, putting a bullet in him) for ruining his reputation. Crane has built a complete replica of the top-secret VTOL, flown it up above the clouds, and killed a fake Bruce... or something like that. 

Once Batman gets out of his tear-gas-armored car mess, he answers Gordo's plea for help and heads to the airstrip, where he sorts out the entire mystery thanks to a very evident clue overlooked by Crane (Morse's helmet was left in the back of the convertible). Knowing his unknown adversary will come looking for the helmet, Batman hangs out for a few hours in the nearby bushes and puts the whammy on Crane when he arrives. Later, at the dock, Batman sighs as a perfectly good cement mixer (with Morse's corpse in the front seat) is hauled out of the water. Someone will pay for this destruction of fine equipment!

Despite (or possibly because of) the fact that this may very well be the most confusing, complex, coincidence-laden, confounding Batman adventure we've ever read, I enjoyed the heck out of it. I struggled to put into words what the hell was going on in the climax since there are so many threads being sewn together at one time. Though we've witnessed some pretty big villainous plots in these 1960s funny books, Carlyle Crane's has to take first price. The number of events that had to happen at just the right time for Crane's plate of revenge to be served is mind-boggling. 

I wish we could see the excised panels of Crane sitting at his desk, trying to figure out exactly when he should hire the cement mixer (and how would he know the exact moment Morse would come along?) and begin building his exact replica of VTOL. Not to mention the retractable roof on his mansion that hides the plane! Can someone tell me who this mysterious Mr. Morse is? It's hinted that he's been used before, but I assume he knows nothing of Bruce's alter ego. I couldn't find any reference to the character appearing before or after. The Brown/Giella art is still about as pedestrian as you'll find but, for this installment at least, the words are goofy enough to keep the pages turning.

In the back-up, Robin gets help from a nerdy college kid when he's jumped by a trio of good ol' boys tired of the Boy Wonder stealing their chicks from them. Dick thanks the awkward bookworm for saving his bacon and then ponders all the important friends and characters that come into his life and then never reappear. With "The Teen-Age Gap!," Mike Friedrich adds fuel to the argument that it's Gil Kane and Murphy Anderson who are responsible for making "Batgirl" the best Bat-strip recently. The only smile that crossed my face was when Dick is persuaded to pick up a guitar during a campfire to sing a few tunes, the lyrics of which confirmed my suspicion that Fred Wertham was not paying attention to funny books by 1969: Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine/I'll taste your strawberries, I'll drink your sweet wine.-Peter

Jack-I can't recall a Batman story with so little Batman in it as "Stand-In for Murder." Where did poor Morse come from? Bruce Wayne has a double who is available at a moment's notice to take his place--and the guy gets killed? Only in a Frank Robbins script would a crook call Batman "B-Man." And I'm starting to think that my childhood belief in rubber masks that were undetectable came from some of these DC comics!

As for "The Teen-Age Gap!," the less said the better. I'm not surprised that, after two issues with fabulous art by Gil Kane and Murphy Anderson on the Batgirl backup stories, we'd have to plummet back to Earth with a Robin story drawn by Andru and Esposito. When I was a kid, their art on Spider-Man didn't bother me, but as a much older man, I really cringe when I see their pages from the late '60s and early '70s. The groovy, hip lingo spouted by the characters is hard to take.

Adams

The Brave and the Bold #82

"The Sleepwalker from the Sea!"

Story by Bob Haney

Art by Neal Adams

Night at the Gotham City waterfront, and the Caped Crusader witnesses a strange series of events: a man stalks a beautiful woman who suddenly jumps into a speeding car. Another man, dressed in a scuba suit, shoots the stalker in the back with a harpoon and kills him. The killer removes an item of jewelry from the dead man and tosses it to the car's driver. Batman leaps onto the car, causing it to crash into a pole, but as he removes the driver he is grabbed from behind by Aquaman! The frogman takes aim and shoots Batman with a harpoon, causing him to fall into the water. Aquaman socks the frogman and dives into the drink, pulling Batman to safety before disappearing.

Later, Batman awakens to find a doctor tending to him and Commissioner Gordon standing nearby. Batman looks at the piece of jewelry that the driver held and observes that it's a talisman of a kraken--a giant squid! Just then, Batman recalls that he has a hot date and races home, where Alfred patches him up. Bruce Wayne is going out with Ailsa Dubois, model of the year, and rudely dismisses Honor, a gorgeous redhead about whom he had forgotten. Soon, Bruce and Ailsa dine on a terrace in the moonlight; he writes a check for $100,000 to invest in New Marine City at her behest but learns that money will not buy her affections. In fact, when he makes a move, she pulls a gun on him and then flips him over the side of the terrace! Bruce hangs onto a ledge and sees Ailsa leave the building; he realizes that she is heading to see Marius, a rich guy who owns a fleet of ships and who is somehow involved in the New Marine City project.

Bruce follows Ailsa to the offices of Marius Enterprises and overhears Marius boast of his plans to loot and then destroy the new project. Ailsa pulls back a curtain to reveal a painting of Maris in his super-villain garb as Ocean Master, Aquaman's half-brother and evil nemesis, and Bruce enters the room, only to be knocked out by Aquaman, who seems to be under some sort of spell. Aquaman carries Bruce to the site of the New Marine City development and admits that he was just pretending to be in a stupor to trick Marius. Suddenly, Marius and Ailsa appear and Marius starts shooting, but Bruce and Aquaman escape.

An hour later, at Police HQ, Aquaman tells Batman and Commissioner Gordon the origin story of Ocean Master, also known as his half-brother, Orm. Aquaman refuses to harm him. Aquaman also explains that his super-hot wife Mera was abducted by humanoids and, while he was searching for her, he accidentally killed a marine biologist when he thought the man was about to kill a narwhal. Ever since killing the man, Aquaman has been concerned that he is as evil as his brother. Gordon suspects there's something fishy going on and he and Batman give Aquaman some sort of drug that clears his mind and makes him feel better about things. They are helped by Honor, the gal  Bruce ditched, who dresses up as Mera.

Gordon pulls a gun and insists that Batman and Aquaman capture Orm, who is boasting to Ailsa that he is about to hijack all of the treasures in New Marine City. Not so fast, say Batman and Aquaman, but a trap door opens and drops the heroes into a giant aquarium, where they confront sharks and a kraken! Aquaman's mental fish-controlling powers fail to work very well, so it's a good thing Gordon shows up with some cops who blast a hole in the side of the massive fish tank. A cop accidentally shoots Ailsa and Orm escapes in a submarine. Aquaman swims off and Ailsa tells Batman that she was in love with Orm and is ready to face the music.

The fact that it took me so long to summarize the story in this issue demonstrates that it's a tad complicated, but this is the best full issue of Neal Adams's art that we've seen to date, in my opinion. Everything he draws is stunning. I always thought that Aquaman was a cool character and I particularly like Ocean Master's outfit. There's some pathos in the character of Honor and Ailsa has more depth than the usual beautiful women we see in the Batman comics. This is one of the best issues we've read in our journey through the '60s.-Jack

Peter-Adams's art, as usual, is fabulous but Bob Haney's dialogue and plot swim with the fishes. I never feel Haney gets the Batman vibe (in his scripts, his Dark Knight spouts dopey one-liners and behaves very un-heroically) nor any of the Gotham mythos, for that matter. Why, when Aquaman pleads with Bats to spare his brother's life, does the Commish draw his gun and act all silly/threatening? My other big problem, one not caused by Bob Haney, is that since I was always a Marvel Zombie I never read any of the second-tier hero funny books and that includes Aquaman. I had no idea if Haney was making up Orm and his nefarious deeds out of whole cloth or there was a history here until I did a Wiki dive and discovered that the character debuted only a few years prior to Brave and the Bold #82. This is still the best of the three titles, but that's due entirely to Neal Adams.

Next Week...
Avert Your Eyes When
Peter Asks Jack to Write Faster!

Journey Into Strange Tales Issue 145: Atlas/Marvel Science Fiction & Horror Comics!

 

The Marvel/Atlas 
Horror Comics

Part 130

December 1956 Part III

by Peter Enfantino

and Jack Seabrook

Strange Stories of Suspense #12

Cover by Bill Everett

"The Changeling" (a: John Forte) ★1/2

"The Secret of the Graveyard!" (a: Herb Familton) ★

"The Blank!" (a: Angelo Torres) ★★1/2

"What the Mirror Revealed!" 

(a: Bob Forgione & Jack Abel) ★★

"They Can't Resist!" (a: Manny Stallman) ★1/2

"Fear Follows Fenton!" (a: Mac L. Pakula) ★

Mean ol' Mr. Miles has a vacant lot on his property that's going to waste and the town's brats really want to use it as a playground. Miles doesn't see it going that way and tells the kids if they don't high-tail it back home he'll turn the lot of them into scarecrows. Two of the kids head off to the field to "get their stuff" while Wally runs distraction. Mr. Miles gets royally pissed, says the magic words and, presto!, Wally is turned into a scarecrow. Problem is, Mr. Miles didn't even know he had the power!

It's not long before the town's mayor arrives and tells Mr. Miles he's in deep doo-doo, what with threatening the kids and then transforming Wally into a sack of straw. The mayor advises the old man to promise he'll hand over the vacant field to the city for the kids to play and maybe Wally will change back into an annoying little brat again. Mr. Miles promises and, presto!, Wally is back! As Mr. Miles happily walks away, assured he'll spend no time in the city jail, the mayor congratulates Wally on the success of the con. Just then, the other two rugrats show up with the magic equipment. They were detained and couldn't get back in time to use the visuals. Mr. Miles really changed Wally into a scarecrow! Nice Forte art highlights a dopey plot and twist (one that had been used at least one million times through 1956); Mr. Miles enters a villain but then, in the end, elicits sympathy. At least from this brat-hating old codger. Imagine a politician using sleight of hand to get what he wants!

Ivory poachers Blinky and Lew are searching for the fabled Elephant's Graveyard in a remote jungle of Africa. Through a despicable act of violence (where no one gets hurt), Blinky forces a local chieftain to draw the men a map. They follow the instructions until they come to a cave and enter, only to discover the ground is quicksand! "The Secret of the Graveyard!" does a great job... of making four pages seem like forty.

In "The Blank," Lee is sent back in time to 1956 to stop a well-intentioned old professor from blowing up the world. While doing so, he falls for the scientist's gorgeous niece and, when the shop is done, he loads her in his time machine and brings her back to the future as his wife. Not a bad little fantasy, with some striking art by Torres (including some harmless cheesecake that might have riled up the pre-teens), whose style clearly sets him apart from the rest of the pack. 

Gorgeous Karen sets her eyes on millionaire inventor, Professor Walden, to the dismay of her boyfriend, Glenn. Karen argues that Walden is handsome, rich, and always striving for more while Glenn is a lazy bum who has no motivation. Walden, taking a look at Karen's incredible breasts and milky thighs agrees and challenges his competition to a test. The trio head to the scientist's estate, where he activates his neuro-chromium, high-siliconic electronically controlled mirror, a device which reveals the true past of the person standing before it. Walden goes first and his past, full of back-stabbing and lies, is revealed to Karen and Glenn. Then when the other man steps up, a past filled with battlefront bravery and unselfish business choices is unfurled. 

Forgetting just how materialistic she was a mere hour before, Karen tells Walden she could never be with such an SOB and she and Glenn exit the building and enter a new life filled with love but no money. Walden's wife emerges from the shadows and kisses her husband, amazed he could come up with so many nasty lies about himself on such short notice. The twist for "What the Mirror Revealed!" is a good one but Karen's 180-degree switch in personality is hilarious.

Invaders from Ganymede bank on the curiosity of earthlings in order to spread a vile disease but these visitors aren't the brightest bulbs in the pack. You can resist "They Can't Resist!" In the dismal finale, "Fear Follows Fenton!," Detective Phil Ryan is tasked with the capture of dangerous escaped criminal, Bob Fenton, and collapses from the pressure. However, the bedridden cop receives help via divine intervention in one of the schmaltziest climaxes afforded an Atlas fantasy. If there's anything positive to be said, it's that while Mac Pakula was never a higher tier artist, here he contributes decent graphics.-Peter

Strange Tales #53

Cover by Bill Everett

"I Died Tomorrow!" (a: Pete Morisi) ★★★

"The Brute!" (a: John Forte) ★

"They Crawl By Night!" (a: Vic Carrabotta) ★1/2

"What Stanley Saw!" (a: Angelo Torres) ★★1/2

"The Gray Thing!" (a: Gene Colan) ★1/2

"The Man Who Crushed Rocks!" (a: Reed Crandall) ★1/2

Brilliant young scientist Earl Burton has created a time machine but his wife, Kay, doesn't want anything to do with it. Earl presses on and calls a secret meeting of his fellow scientists to demonstrate his new toy. He takes questions from the scientists and then pops into the future to find the answers. When he returns and, sure enough, he's seen what lies ahead for mankind, the eggheads are impressed!

But hidden away inside a closet is a roving reporter who hears everything and then writes up a story on the fantastic new invention. After that, Earl has no peace and quiet and, in the end, the machine may just spell his doom. "I Died Tomorrow!" is a better-than-usual cautionary tale about time travel (can you have a cautionary tale about something that doesn't exist?) that explores the pitfalls of such a feat. Earl crows about how all his future facts come true but wife Kay insists that the fact that the public knows about the predictions sways the events (Earl states a company will go bankrupt and all its stockholders withdraw their support). The climax is also interesting in that it's (deliberately?) vague about the fate of our intrepid young scientist and his wife. An enjoyable read.

Racketeer Julie King can't find his main muscle, "The Brute!" That's because the Brute is actually Brutus and he's gone back to his home in ancient Rome. And that's when Julie wakes up and discovers he's actually Julius Caesar and it's the 15th of March and I'm not spending one more second wast... Next up... "no good shiftless unemployed bum" Ed Pauley travels from town to town just looking for a place to settle down but there's always John Law to run him out of town. No vagrants! Walking across a field in the moonlight, Ed falls into a very deep hole and runs across a group of shapeless blobs who introduce themselves as a race of people from the earth's core. They've been slowly but surely climbing up through the layers in order to reach the surface world. "They Crawl By Night!" (even if there is no light underground!). The goal of the blobmen is to take over the earth and enjoy the sunlight. They need Ed to make his hole a little bit bigger so's they can get through. At first Ed is willing but, in the end, he changes his mind. So he's not such a loser after all.

During a flight, pilot Stanley Gray watches in wonder as a flying saucer lands in a small valley. His boss considers Stanley's story a hoax designed to gain attention and he advises his employee to change the narrative or take a walk. Stanley can't lie so he's booted out of Friendly Airlines. Next up... how to tell his fiance she'll have to do without that new mink stole? Our poor hero finds out that beautiful Martha has more in common with his boss than with Stanley himself and, very soon after he confesses, Stanley's a free man.

Determined to kick sand back in the faces of those who mock him, Stanley heads to Blue River Valley to find the UFO and regain a modicum of manhood. Upon arriving, he's set upon by a group of aliens who relate their tale of woe: they come from Pluto, which has become overpopulated, and they're searching for a new home. They're friendly and they ask Stanley not to tell his fellow humans about them. Meanwhile, back at Friendly Airlines, Martha has become worried about her ex and enlists Stan's boss to accompany her to the Valley, where she's sure Stan's talking to himself. He's a sick man, y'know.

Marsha and Mr. Friendly land and are amazed at the sight: lots of little Plutonians running hither and yon. Stan explains the situation and the trio promise the aliens they won't tell anyone they're living in the valley. Marsha asks Stan for her ring back, Mr. Friendly promotes his pilot, and the Plutonians snicker and gather for their full-blown invasion. Well, no, not really; "What Stanley Saw!" climaxes with the typical 1956 Atlas sappy ending, but the yarn is fun enough and it's graced with some gorgeous graphics compliments of Mr. Torres. I'm beginning to think that Angelo was the go-to guy when Al Williamson said "no."

In the three-pager, "The Gray Thing!," an antique dealer tries to sell the titular object to a man who's become fascinated by the relic. Long story short, it's a robot and the time is 2856, but the story makes no sense whatsoever, since the flashbacks show men in Victorian garb. I hate cheats. Kenyon is a very bad guy and the town runs him out very unceremoniously one day so he has to take shelter in the swamp. Growing thirsty, he takes a drink from a spring and discovers he's become very strong, in fact he's "The Man Who Crushed Rocks!" It takes him only a few minutes to head back to town to get his revenge on Sheriff Taylor, the man who ran him out. Kenyon robs a bank and makes sure everyone sees him so they'll send Taylor after. Sure enough, Taylor arrives and informs Kenyon he already knew about the powers of the spring but the magic only lasts two days. Time's up! If you're looking for quality Crandall, look elsewhere. This is not Reed's finest hour, but then he was probably handed a rush job and paid $10 for his troubles. The only thing noteworthy about this dud is that it's perhaps the most unique in the seemingly unending series of "The Man Who..." titles. Hey, I'm a glass-half-full type of guy.-Peter

Strange Tales of the Unusual #7

Cover by Carl Burgos

"The Man Who Feared Mirrors" (a: Dick Ayers) ★1/2

"Screams in the Night!" (a: Joe Orlando) ★1/2

"No Place on Earth!" (a: Vic Carrabotta) ★

"The Man Who Never Returned!" (a: Sol Brodsky) ★

"The Story Nobody Knows!" (a: Bob Forgione & Jack Abel (?)) ★1/2

"Poker Face!" (a: Jack Kirby) ★★

Joe Lanier turns up at a circus sideshow, begging for a job. What made Joe into "The Man Who Feared Mirrors"? It all started when pretty Marie Sloan turned down his marriage proposal. Certain that she'd treat him differently if he were rich, Joe headed for a mine in California where he thought there was plenty of valuable uranium. Deep down in the mine, he met a lot of funny-looking folks and put them to work, promising to build them a city if they dug the uranium for him. Once all of the uranium was above the surface, Joe betrayed the creatures and buried them, but one yelled up to Joe that being down there so long would make him look like them. Back at his hotel, a look in the mirror showed Joe his face had grown deformed! The circus manager sends Joe packing, realizing that he looks normal but his conscience makes him see a distorted self-portrait in the mirror.

Dick Ayers draws some decent panels here and the story has promise, but the surprise ending is a letdown. Joe's face is shown in shadow in the panels set in the present day so we expect something shocking, only to be told that Joe is normal.

A radio sound effects man is sitting at home playing a tape recording of a woman's "Screams in the Night!" when he hears the real thing coming from outside! He rushes out and sees three men in shadows menacing a beautiful blonde who has blue skin! Our hero is hit from behind and knocked out. He wakes up on a spaceship heading for the planet Viburnum; the blonde is Spirea, a dissident leader who fled and was tracked down by a patrol ship. The trio who came after her are upset because they haven't seen their wives in a long time. They assure our hero that he and Spirea will be put in chains when they reach Viburnum. After landing, the trio hear women screaming outside the ship and rush to help, thinking the shrieks come from their waiting wives. But no! They were on the tape recording the man had at the start of the story. He and Spirea return to Earth and she becomes his blue-skinned happy homemaker.

I guess it's like Chekhov's tape recorder--an out of place object on page one had better play a role in the denouement on page four. The inhabitants of Viburnum look just like Earthlings, except with blue skin. One slight problem: in the last panel, where the narrator reveals Spirea to a reporter who is interviewing him, the colorist neglected to color her skin blue, which kind of misses the whole point.

In 1984, the world is divided into East, West, and Central. In the West, a scientist named Don Adams gets smart and invents a teletransport that will whisk people across long distances in the blink of an eye. Rumors of an upcoming attack from the East cause Don to flee to the Central, where he marries the pretty daughter of the man who helped him escape. But he doesn't love her and is unhappy. When the East attacks the Central instead of the West, Don quickly builds a new teletransport that can send troops to the East swiftly. He considers fleeing to the West but realizes that he loves his wife and wants to enlist as a soldier to fight the East.

There is "No Place on Earth!" where this mess of a story would be welcomed by readers. The East/Central/West nonsense is heavy-handed, Don's actions make little sense, and the conclusion is as sappy as it gets in an Atlas comic--and that's pretty sappy.

Eddie Peakes is a 42-year-old cabin boy on the Sarah Sue, a sailing ship in times of yore. He's tired of doing menial jobs! He's swept overboard in a storm and washes up on an island where he becomes a hero to a civilization of tiny people. When the Sarah Sue comes back looking for him, Eddie hides, preferring to stay with the wee folk, where he is a beloved giant. A portrait of the crew on board the vessel shows that Eddie was well below average in height.

I'm familiar with Sol Brodsky from his credits as an inker or a production manager. Judging from his artwork on "The Man Who Never Returned," we're fortunate his career took another path. This story is awful.

Why are the cops at Burt Clarke's place to arrest a bald man who wears a yellow and red outfit and a yellow cape? It all started yesterday, when Burt heard knocking coming from inside a closet and opened the door to find a man who said he came from 5000 years in the future and held a disc that transposed matter through space. The man tells Burt that he will become the greatest man on Earth! While the man sleeps, Burt travels 5000 years into the future and sees that his corporation has grown huge and powerful and there is even a statute of himself! Unfortunately, the corporation enslaves the people and they curse Burt's name. He zips back to the present, where the man from the future holds him at gunpoint and tells him that he has to go through with his plan or else be killed. Burt socks the man in the jaw and the cops take him away. Not wanting the future to turn out the way he saw it, Burt burns everything the man from the future brought with him and is satisfied to be a nobody, since it's better than being a pariah.

Yeesh. Again! Didn't we just see this same plot in another story? If any of them were memorable I could perhaps recall which one, but they are ephemeral and leave my head as soon as I read them. The art by Forgione and (probably) Abel is competent but it's in service of "The Story Nobody Knows!"

A great flying cylinder circles the Earth before landing in Russia. A strange creature emerges and the Russians attack it, but nothing fazes it. The creature inspects the terrain and takes off again in the cylinder. This sequence of events is repeated in various countries around the world and no one knows why. Finally, the creature lands in the desert, where an old prospector tells it to get off his land--it can't steal his gold! Breaking its silence, the creature speaks, telling the old man that it doesn't want gold. It wants Atrion and there's none on Earth, which it claims it owns after having won the planet in a game of Zanda, the equivalent of poker.

"Poker Face!" is a dreadful, pointless story that ends a terrible issue of Strange Tales of the Unusual. The only good thing about this concluding tale is Jack Kirby's art, especially the way he draws the alien. It kind of resembles a tall, skinny carrot with a round head and streamers for hair. Leave it to Kirby to bring a smidge of creativity to an Atlas comic!-Jack

Next Week...
Attacked by the 
Squad of CatWomen!

Batman in the 1960s Issue 55: January/February 1969

 

The Caped Crusader in the 1960s
by Jack Seabrook
& Peter Enfantino

Novick

Detective Comics #383

"The Fortune-Cookie Caper!"

Story by Frank Robbins

Art by Bob Brown & Joe Giella

Deciding to give the most overworked butler/chef/stuntman in Gotham the night off, Batman and Robin pop into their favorite Chinese restaurant, the famous Tommy Chee's, for some won ton soup, spring rolls, Moo Goo Gai Pan, and Tommy's renowned sweet and sour pork. After scarfing down their food, the boys are presented with the requisite fortune cookies. Batman's has a cryptic "Hang on baby, I'm almost there. Love, Neal" while Robin's has the hilarious "Help! I'm a prisoner in a Chinese bakery!" Robin remarks that he'll be saving this one for Aunt Harriet, who has a particular "yen" for Asian humor.

As the Duo are exiting the establishment, they are both cuffed from behind and knocked out. When they come to, they realize the only thing missing is Robin's fortune. "Ah ha!," exclaims the World's Greatest Detective Brain™.  "This makes me think the thugs wanted that message!" When they return to the restaurant to grill Tommy, the owner explains that the humorous message in the cookie is referred to in the trade as a "Number 25." Batman gets another scrunched-up look on his face and screams, "This means something!"

Eventually, our heroes split up, with Robin visiting the bakery where the cookie was born and Bats heading down to the freight yard to investigate anything that has a "25" on it: telephone poles, manholes, discarded Adele CDs, the works. While investigating the bakery, Robin is attacked by the baker and accidentally stumbles across a pretty young lady stashed in a closet. She tells Robin she is Hu Shi, sister of the bakery's owner, Yin Yan. Unfortunately, his attention is averted by the young lady's legs and he's clobbered from behind by the baker. Unbeknownst to Robin, Hu is in cahoots with her evil brother, who emerges from the shadows to inform his sibling that when Robin wakes up, they'll force him to lure Batman to the bakery and get rid of two of their problems.

Batman finally finds the elusive "25" he's been seeking when he comes across two hoods (the same two who put the boys to sleep back at Tommy's joint) rummaging through a freight car and carefully separating a #25 crate. Bats gets a little revenge by roughing up the criminals and, in the process, accidentally destroys crate #25, which spills its valuable cargo all over the freight car floor: pearls, smuggled from the Orient!

Back at the bakery, Robin has finally come around and is talked into summoning his mentor to the scene. But Bats is three steps ahead and overhears Hu Shi and Yin Yan discussing their smuggling operation. He bursts in through a skylight and, after dressing the thousands of cuts across his body, slaps the cuffs on the pair of Won Ton villains (see what I did there?), and explains the whole scheme to his junior partner. 

How did the Boy Wonder not shout out, "Hang on a sec, Batman, why didn't Yin just slip the two hoods a note that says 'check out crate #25 in the freight yard' instead of an elaborate scheme involving random fortune cookies?" I'm amazed that the racist Asian stereotypes had hung around through 1969 in the funny books. Writer Frank Robbins has the characters spouting dialogue like "Confucius say 'little man with big mouth... get face full egg-rolls!'" while the colorist slaps a bright yellow sheen across all the foreign faces. Can you imagine the multitude of five-year-old Batman readers who went to school expecting their Asian classmates to be bright yellow?  But then, as I'm quickly reminded, the Black characters in funny books of the time were pigeonholed with equally egregious conventions. But pull all this nonsense aside and we're still left with an overly-complicated plot and half-baked (pun intended) action. The graphics are competent (in fact, stacked next to Shelly's dribbles, they're art) but someone needs to motivate Frank to write something... I don't know... maybe original.-Peter

Jack-As I read this story, I was jotting down all the offensive Asian stereotypes, but by the end I thought it was pretty good! The art by Brown and Giella is certainly smooth and one panel (on p. 13) even looks a bit like the work of Gil Kane. The level of story and art has gone up enough that even a tale like this one is enjoyable. By the way, this is the last issue to feature an Elongated Man backup story.

Cardy

Batman #208

"The Women in Batman's Life!"

Story by E. Nelson Bridwell

Art by Gil Kane & Jack Abel

"The Secret Life of the Catwoman"

Story by Bill Finger

Art by Bob Kane, Lew Sayre Schwartz & Charles Paris

(Reprinted from Batman #62, January 1951)

"Vicki Vale's Secret!"

Story by David Vern

Art by Bob Kane, Lew Sayre Schwartz & Charles Paris

(Reprinted from Batman #73, November 1952) 

"The Menace of the Firefly"

Story by Gardner Fox

Art by Sheldon Moldoff & Joe Giella

(Reprinted from Batman #126, September 1959)

"The Dilemma of the Detective's Daughter!"

(Reprinted from Batman #165, August 1964)

Peter-As usual with the reprint volumes, there's some fun stuff here, but I'm not a fan of the scattershot approach utilized, with some stories only getting a few pages here and there. Of the full-lengthers, the one I liked the most was the supremely goofy Firefly yarn and least, of course, was the dreadful Moldoff/Giella "Detective's Daughter" drivel. The Ma Chilton epilogue is a little too much for me to stomach. It's all a bit too coincidental. What ever happened to Uncle Philip, the guy who inherited Bruce and dumped him in the lap of a dead gangster's mother?

Jack-Here's where we differ! I recall that fantastic Cardy cover from childhood, and comics like this were a big part of what made me a Batman/DC Comics fan. The issue starts out with five pages of a framing story drawn by Gil Kane--not his best work, but still dynamic. Next comes a vintage Catwoman story with great, old-style art by Lew Sayre Schwartz, including a terrific splash page. A couple more pages from another old Catwoman story are followed by more framing pages by Kane.

Vicki Vale has never been one of my favorite characters (except when embodied by Kim Basinger), but the panel reproduced here shows that Schwartz could draw cheesecake with the best of them. Things quickly plummet in the art department as Shelly Moldoff wrestles away the pencil and draws the dull story with Firefly, which is included because it features Batwoman. Moldoff is also responsible for the wretched story about the detective's daughter. Things pick up with a selection about Eclipso drawn by Win Mortimer before Moldoff brings us down again with a smattering of Poison Ivy. The issue ends on a high note with a portion of Infantino's classic Batgirl story.

I have place in my heart for these Batman 80-page giants and would happily pay a quarter all over again if I saw one on a newsstand.

Adams

The Brave and the Bold #81

"But Bork Can Hurt You!"

Story by Bob Haney

Art by Neal Adams, Dick Giordano, & Vince Colletta

A big lug named Carl Bork disembarks from a tramp steamer at Gotham Harbor and is shocked to remain unharmed when a truck runs him over. To test his newfound invulnerability, Bork robs a nearby diner and feels no pain when police shoot him as he runs away.

Barry Allen (the Flash) is visiting Gotham City Police Headquarters and hears a call on the police radio about a disturbance at the waterfront. Batman rushes to the scene and sees Milo Manning, an extortionist, being confronted by Bork. When Manning's goons attack Carl, he tells them that nothing can hurt him, "But Bork Can Hurt You!" The goons switch their allegiance to Bork, who gives Batman a walloping when the Dark Knight tries to arrest him. Bork announces that he's taking over Gotham City and no one can stop him!

Within hours, Bork has given an ultimatum to the mayor, so Batman and the Flash team up to figure out the secret to his invulnerability. Using his super speed, Flash runs around the world and learns that the leader of a new African nation is sending a commando unit to Gotham to arrest Bork and bring him back for trial. Bork's mayhem continues while Flash's investigation proceeds. From a ship's captain, the Scarlet Speedster learns that natives on Desolation Island made a life-sized wooden carving of Bork and these carvings are said to possess supernatural powers. The Flash races to the island but is knocked out when a volcano erupts and the carving floats away.

Back in Gotham City, the mayor is pushing to give in to Bork's demands. The Flash recovers and goes looking for the wooden statute while Bork is jailed and easily punches his way through a wall to escape. The Flash finds the carving and sets out to destroy it, but it's no easy task--nothing seems to affect it. The African commandos have reached Gotham City and shoot Bork with a dart that wounds him, suggesting he's no longer invulnerable. Batman challenges Bork to a duel to buy time as Flash runs through outer space and destroys the carving by planting it inside the sun! Batman succeeds in knocking Bork for a loop and the menace is over. The criminal is led to a waiting plane to face justice in Africa.

Twenty-four pages of Neal Adams are a treat and the Flash is an added bonus. The story moves along quickly and doesn't waste too much time with needless fistfights, though it stretches my suspension of disbelief to accept that Flash can run through space and into the sun without having any problems with lack of oxygen or incredible cold. I wonder if Colletta inked the Flash sections and Giordano inked the Batman sections?-Jack

Peter-This one's a total winner. Clever script and knockout graphics. I'll have to do a brush-up on my Flash knowledge. How can the guy run to the sun?  Well, as I said, it was a lot of fun so I didn't let the particulars drag me down. Refreshing that Carl Bork was gifted with invulnerability and yet didn't go shopping at Villains 'R' Us for a costume. He just ran around in his work civvies. Bob Haney's best work so far. Could the good stuff finally be here now that we're near the end?

Novick

Detective Comics #384

"Whatever Will Happen to Heiress Heloise?"

Story by Gardner Fox

Art by Bob Brown & Joe Giella

"Tall, Dark, Handsome--and Missing!"

Story by Mike Friedrich

Art by Gil Kane & Murphy Anderson

While getting ready to head out on a solo patrol (Robin is off with the Titans), Batman happens upon two thugs roughing up "recently found heiress" Heloise Madigan. Bats puts the kibosh on the dastardly duo and then drives Heloise back to her place. Upon entering the huge mansion, Batman and Heloise are both surprised to hear the family lawyer proclaim that this Heloise is a fraud! The real Heloise has just turned up to claim the millions left to her in her father's will.

Slightly astonished, Batman throws Heloise #1 (who keeps spouting newspaper jargon to the Caped Crusader) in the Batmobile and whisks her away to the Gotham precinct house, where she is booked for impersonating an heiress. Batman heads out the door but his Incredible Detective Brain (the World's Greatest™ ) suddenly alerts him to the fact that the real Heloise Madigan might be in danger. Duh! He speeds back to Madigan Manor, where he finds the gorgeous redhead taking a dip in the pool and saves her from death as two criminals leap from the bushes and head for her unprotected flesh.

Batman leaps some would say a wee bit far for a human being and nabs both villains, pulling them into the pool with him. After a minor tussle, both cretins are apprehended and our hero once again hops in the Batmobile to make that long trip to the precinct house. The next day, while Bruce is sitting in his smoking jacket, enjoying a Cuban and a snifter of Henri IV Dudognon Heritage Cognac Grande Champagne, his Bat-senses once again alert him. Could Heloise #1 be in danger as well? 

After a little detective work, Batman is able to track Heloise #1 to the Rogers Real Estate Agency, where she is currently extorting money from her crooked boss. In a long and sloppy expository word balloon we discover that the stunning redhead once took dictation (and provided other secretarial functions, no doubt) for Big John Madigan, Heloise's dead father. The knowledge she gained during her employ allowed her to impersonate the heiress (who was long thought to be dead as the result of a car accident when she was six--please.... don't ask me to elucidate any further) in an attempt to lay her wicked fingers on all that dough. Drat that real Heloise showed up just then! Bad timing! Batman busts through the door, revealing he's heard enough of the backstory (well, she goes on for at least an hour) to testify in court to the beauty's bad business practices. 

I love how when the Madigan family lawyer lays out exactly how they discovered that Heloise #1 was a fraud: that morning (yes, that morning!) they had discovered a "long-lost baby rattle" and had the FBI run the fingerprints, which matched those of a "local government clerk"!!! All that in just a few hours (yes, just a few hours!) from a city that can't even keep its most wanted criminals behind bars for more than a few months at a time. "Whatever Will Happen..." is dumb as dirt and extra hard to follow but I won't deny that it's at least a wee bit entertaining as well. I do have one more nit to pick with funny book writers in general: why put dialogue in a character's mouth that must then be followed constantly by an asterisk and explanation of said dialogue?

Every Friday at exactly 1:30, Mark Hanner, a very handsome man, attracts the attention of a very special librarian. That would be, of course, Babs Gordon, daughter of Gotham's police chief (and 10-handicap golfer) and a/k/a the beautiful Batgirl. Anyway, this guy comes into the library every week and requests a copy of the Gotham Gazette until one day... he doesn't. Becoming alarmed, Babs visits the man's apartment and sees a pretty girl fleeing, leaving the door open. Immediately heading for Hanner's bathroom (!) our curvaceous crusader notices the medicine cabinet open and fears her Romeo might be in danger.

As Batgirl, Babs follows the girl to a seedy part of town and up into a very nasty apartment, where she's attacked by a gang of gunsels. She fights them off, they flee, and she turns her attention to a locked door. With one kick of her boot, she's in. It's there she finds Hanner. But is he alive? To Be Continued! It's only a small part of a bigger piece but "Tall, Dark..." beats any of the regular Bat-adventures this month in both script and art. Where can I vote for this to be the lead strip? Gil's art is gorgeous; his Batgirl is babe-alicious (a dead ringer for Gil's Mary Jane Watson) and the fight scenes are well-choreographed! Please let this strip stay good!-Peter

Jack-"Heloise" was a quick, enjoyable read, marked by a lot of large panels and not a ton of dialogue. Bob Brown continues to impress me with his art on the Batman strip. It pales in comparison to the art by Gil Kane and Murphy Anderson on the new Batgirl backup strip, which replaces the long-running strip featuring Elongated Man. Not only does Kane draw a gorgeous Barbara Gordon/Batgirl, his fight scenes are bursting out of the panels!

Novick

Batman #209

"Jungle Jeopardy"

Story by Frank Robbins

Art by Irv Novick & Joe Giella

Batman and Robin return to the Batcave and feel compelled to take the elevator upstairs before changing out of their costumes. Halfway up, they realize it's a bad idea and descend to the Batcave, but when the elevator door opens they see that the Batcave has been transformed into a jungle, where a tiger and an elephant rush toward them!

The night before, the Dynamic Duo had foiled a robbery in progress, after which some crooks who escaped met with a clever bad guy who called himself Brainwash and who had a plan to eliminate Batman and Robin. Brainwash paid a visit to the office of Commissioner Gordon and planted a small device under his desk that broadcast subliminal messages to the Commish. That night, Gordon was compelled to call Batman and Robin to dispatch them to the scene of a bank robbery. The Batmobile was parked over a manhole cover, so Brainwash popped up and planted another device on the car's undercarriage.

As Batman and Robin chased the robbers, they felt compelled to rush home to the Batcave and take the elevator upstairs. After their jungle vision, they went upstairs and saw another angry tiger in the place of Alfred the butler. Meanwhile, Brainwash and the gang are robbing the bank. The Master Detective figures out what's going on, realizing that he and Robin have been brainwashed. He removes the device from under the Batmobile and surmises that old nemesis Mr. Esper is behind this.

The Dynamic Duo head to the bank and quickly dispatch Brainwash and his gang, plugging their ears so they can't be subjected to any more subliminal suggestions. Batman pulls off Brainwash's amazingly lifelike mask to reveal Mr. Esper, who is handcuffed and headed for jail.

Another fun, full-length story with nice art by Irv Novick, "Jungle Jeopardy" is fast-moving. Robin makes an offhand remark about the elephant being African (due to its big ears) and that leads Batman to realize the jungle is an illusion, since there are no tigers in the African jungle. It's nice to learn a little something every once in a while. Oh, and that cover would definitely have made me want to buy this comic!-Jack

Peter-This one wasn't too bad at all and the Novick/Giella art is easy on the eye. But, yeah, I have some questions. The Batmobile seems to be a pretty easy target since Esper is able to plant his brainwashing device without setting off any alarms. You'd think a super sophisticated piece of weaponry like the Batmobile would have some safety measures built in, no? And I just love when our heroes are so easily fooled by the instant jungle that grows out of the Batcave. "I've never been so scared in my life, Batman! It was so real!" How could it be, Boy Blunder? It's the Batcave!!!  I'm not sure I understand why Esper was disguising himself as "Brainwash." Does he have a split personality? Is he so egotistical he wants to be two super-villains?

Next Week...
Angelo Torres Leads an
All-Star Monday!