The Warren Report Issue 108: October 1979

 

 

The Critical Guide to

the Warren Illustrated Magazines

1964-1979

by Uncle Jack

& Cousin Peter

Corben

Creepy #112

"The Homecoming" ★★1/2

Story by Archie Goodwin

Art by Al Williamson

"Warrior's Ritual" ★★1/2

Story by Archie Goodwin

Art by John Severin

"Nobody's Kid" ★

Story by Bob Toomey

Art by Leo Duranona

"Relic" ★1/2

Story by Bob Toomey

Art by Walt Simonson

"Beastslayer" ★★

Story by John Lakey

Art by Val Lindahn

"Sunday Dinner" ★

Story by Larry Hama

Art by Rafael Auraleon

"The Last Sorcerer" ★★★1/2

Story by Archie Goodwin

Art by Alex Nino

Sent on a mission to find another planet suitable for the human race, Jason relies on his computer to keep everything on track. After what seems like years, the explorer finally finds the right planet but, unfortunately, his tracking system has been damaged and it will be a while until he sees Earth (and his lovely Lara) again. Unbeknownst to Jason, Earth has been destroyed and his computer continually lies to its master to keep him motivated.

Although I couldn't keep track of the storyline very well, I think "The Homecoming" is the perfect tale to kick off our final reviewable Creepy (#113 was an all-reprint "special"), at least in the art department. Al Williamson's work immediately makes one nostalgic for Creepy's first Golden Age back in the mid-1960s, even if it is, as Jack notes, pretty stiff. Same goes for the name Archie Goodwin, who has been so much better in the past and who conjures up thoughts of what Warren once was.

A group of French soldiers come across an embattled fort filled with the carcasses of dead men. The fort's commandant, Captain Charliere, is found at his desk, pen in hand, his heart torn out. Only one survivor, a man thought to be a deserter, is shot and wounded as he tries to climb over the wall of the fort. Major Herge recognizes the man as York, a soldier decorated for valor only a month before.

Herge picks up the dead captain's log and reads... Charliere recounts how York came to the fort and immediately set the standard for bravery, taking on enemy forces time after time. Charliere discovers York sneaking out of the fort one night and questions him. York confesses he's a ghoul and has to eat the heart of his enemy to grow braver. Hmmm.... thinks Charliere, if that's what it takes to win the war... C'est la guerre!

Unfortunately, York's hunger grows stronger and stronger and, eventually, Charliere falls victim to the soldier's grisly need. Just as Herge finishes the disturbing diary, he is informed that York has escaped into the desert. They track him down and discover that he has attempted to eat his own heart. Like Williamson, John Severin is a name that immediately conjures up Warren quality (a word that could not be thrown around much by 1979) and it's great to see him still producing top-notch material. If only he were given a better script; this is cliched claptrap and Archie doesn't even try to hide it (well, I guess it could be argued that York's need to eat human flesh out of a desire for bravery is a bit unique). The setting and the hook had been done to death at both EC and Warren. Still, it beats McGregor and Duranona any day.

A man discovers his son was sired by his friend and goes on a rampage, murdering first his friend and then his wife with an axe. Then he goes after the kid. Anything that gets in his way (a horse, a dog, a tree, the sky) falls before his bloody axe. When the kid climbs a tree, the man starts hacking but, not being a lumberjack, he chops it the wrong way. It falls on him and his axe is buried in his head. The end. Simple as that.  There's no point, no moral, no reason. A moronic splatterfest with ugly-as-all-get-out art; I defy anyone out there to defend Duranona's art on "Nobody's Kid."

With "Relic," Bob Toomey makes it two duds in a row. Two space explorers are swallowed up by a strange creature that might be a spaceship and call for help. Their plea is answered by the shapely Cyrilla Tatterstall, who manages to find a solution to the problem in a cute little alien named Max. It's very hard to work up any enthusiasm for some of this stuff. "Relic" feels like a second chapter in an ongoing series that we just need to catch up on as it goes along. It's just more space opera tedium, meant to cash in on Star Wars and Alien. In a few spots you can identify signature Walt Simonson style, but that splash looks more like the work of Buz Vaultz.

Hunter Aaron DeKovan searches the Rockies for the myth known as the "God-Beast" but comes up short at the "Beast's Lair" when he fires his rifle and sets off an avalanche. Another story that can be described in only a couple of sentences, "Beastslayer" is the best deal John Lakey ever stumbled into: writing a vignette for a series of posters by artist Val Lindahn. The art's not bad but the type does get lost in the white stuff now and then, making what words there are hard to read. 

It's time for Daddy, Tracey, and Stacey to eat out. Guess where they pick? Why, Chef Wu's Chinese, of course. The kids have been partial to Chef Wu ever since they all crashed in the Andes and survived the ordeal... somehow (wink wink). Too bad mom didn't make it; she was a wonderful mom and so tender (wink wink). While the family is driving to Wu's, the chef has his hands full with a couple of JDs who have just committed murder and need a place to hide out. They break into Wu's and rough him up but Wu eventually gets the upper hand. The family arrive and are seated. Golly, everyone is so hungry. Wonder what's on the menu (wink wink)?

Utterly crass and stupid, "Sunday Dinner" has no surprises and ends with an embarrassingly bad reveal. The Auraleon art is not his best; every panel of Daddy, Stacey, and Tracey looks photoshopped, as if the artist had drawn separate figures and spliced them together. It's not Duranona bad but it's distracting.

Thane the Barbarian continues his search for Sharkhan the Sorcerer. Aged and weary, Thane is ready for this search to come to an end. His travels take him to a pub in the middle of nowhere, where he meets up with a young, confident warrior named Aristo. The two agree to hunt down Sharkhan together. In the end, Thane finally comes face to face with the sorcerer but, instead of cleaving him in two, he lets the wizard go. After all, if there is no Sharkhan, there is no Thane.

Easily the best story in this issue and yet another reminder of the old days, "The Last Sorcerer" continues the tale of warrior Thane, last seen in Creepy #27. Sword-and-Sorcery has always been a dicey prospect when it comes to Warren Publishing; each new adventure seems to be a rewrite of the last. But here, Archie does something different. We see Thane as a grizzled, tired old man who just wants to be done with the barbarian business but doesn't know how to retire without finishing up that last bit. When it comes time to wrap it all up, it occurs to him that if he has no goal, he may as well be dead (a la Batman and Joker in the finale of The Dark Knight). It's a refreshing concept that probably would have been fumbled in the hands of a Toomey or Dube but shines thanks to the best writer who ever worked for Warren.-Peter

Jack-Is this the last solid issue of Creepy that we'll read? It's good to see the return of Archie Goodwin, who's credited with three stories, as well as art by Al Williamson, John Severin, Walt Simonson, and Alex Nino, with varying degrees of success. "Warrior's Ritual" was my favorite this time out and I thought it was one of the best Warren stories in recent memory. John Severin is a great comic artist, perhaps the most consistent over the long term at Warren. "The Homecoming" features nice work by Williamson, but it's all a bit stiff, with characters posed or staring at the reader and little sense of action. It reminded me of a rather dull EC science fiction story.

What happened to Walt Simonson? His art on "Relic" is hardly the exciting stuff we were used to at DC in the '70s and the story is dull. "The Last Sorcerer" has more confusing two-page spreads from Nino, though it's not hard to follow. The story isn't very interesting but Nino can certainly draw when he sets his mind to it. I got a kick out of the middle portion of "Sunday Dinner" (the entree?), though reading parallel stories in columns is always annoying because I don't know what order to read them in. The final panel was ridiculous.

"Beastslayer" has very nice art but it's not really a comic book story, what with the full-page illustrations and the floating captions. There's not much to the plot and the surprise ending falls flat. That leaves "Nobody's Kid" as the worst of the issue, with gruesome panels and terrible art by Duranona.

Jordi Penalva

Eerie #105

"Robot Fighters"★★1/2

Story by Bill DuBay

Art by Jim Janes & Alfredo Alcala

"Ruins"★

Story by Don McGregor

Art by Paul Gulacy

"Beastworld"★1/2

Story by Bruce Jones

Art by Pablo Marcos

"Demons of the Zodiac"★★

Story by Gary Null & Jim Stenstrum

Art by Pepe Moreno

"Hunger Strike"★★

Story by Leo Duranona & Cary Bates

Art by Leo Duranona

"Lair of the Assassins"★★★★

Story by Larry Hama

Art by Val Mayerik

Restin Dane faces off against robots running wild while Bishop Dane and Manners become "Robot Fighters" in the future, where they are marooned following the destruction of the time castle. The human rebels decide to use Manners as a spy to infiltrate the robot ranks and they send him in a spaceship to destroy the Death Star Orb that is the central robot control center. He manages to blow up the giant orb but appears to die in the process; fortunately, he survives.

Meanwhile, Restin battles robots and determines that they are being controlled and directed by the Mandroid, which is part computer and part clone. Restin confronts the Mandroid and a knock-down, drag-out fight ensues. It ends with Restin pushing the Mandroid into the central core, where it is destroyed.

Bishop and Manners find another time castle and return to the present, where Restin realizes he needs to work the bugs out of some of his creations.

Another back and forth Rook story where we get a few pages of Restin's adventures, a few pages of Bishop's adventures, and so on. The art is not half-bad but the story, at least the part with Restin, is such a blatant rip-off of Star Wars that it's almost laughable. As usual, by the end, all of the players return to square one and little has changed.

Dr. Ward Cavanaugh and Rebecca Cope run toward her mansion as flames leap from the ground and radioactive death rains from the clouds. Outside the house, Kelsey is digging a shovel into the contaminant-saturated earth, causing radioactive waste buried beneath to come to the surface. Rush, the security guard, shoots and kills Kelsey; Ward kills Rush by plunging a pitchfork into his midsection. Rebecca runs into the flaming house to rescue her baby and Ward follows her. Harris shoots Rebecca but the bullet only grazes her temple; in anger, Ward lashes out at Harris with a karate kick, knocking through a railing and causing him to fall to his death. Ward carries Rebecca away from the "Ruins" to safety.

Don McGregor reaches new highs in his quest to educate the readers of Warren comics about the ills of society, circa 1979. His purple prose is so bad that it's almost fun to read:

The flames scorched Kelsey's flesh into bubbling, black blisters. Yet he remained standing in the midst of the conflagration, squinting up at the house like some myopic martyr, waving his shovel--the stake he had chosen to die on!

You can't make this stuff up. Paul Gulacy's art is terrible; not only does he continue to use swipes for the James Coburn/Ward Cavanaugh character, but the security guard named Rush sure reminds me of the prison guard with dark sunglasses from Cool Hand Luke.

Tyler and Ruth track Peter and Monica through the jungle of "Beastworld" and are attacked by a giant bee, which Tyler kills with a makeshift spear. Peter and Monica encounter a giant grasshopper and a huge trapdoor spider. Tyler fashions more weapons and tells Ruth how great he is, while Peter is nearly killed by the spider until it is attacked by a massive wasp. Tyler kills a huge grasshopper and cooks it on a spit for him and Monica to enjoy. Meanwhile, Peter can't manage to open a can of soup without spilling its contents all over the ground. After dinner, Tyler comes on to Monica, who agrees with his assertion that it's time she let herself "'be made love to by a real man.'"

I can see why some might wonder if Bruce Jones really wrote this series, since it's terrible! If the characters didn't have different hair colors, I couldn't tell them apart, since Pablo Marcos draws all of the men alike and all of the women alike. I don't see the point of the giant insects other than to extend the length of the story. It's like The Most Dangerous Game starring adult film stars.

Mac Tavish and Spider Andromeda are chased by Zodiac mercenaries and hide in a sauna, where a woman named Ida creates an illusion that keeps them from being found. Spider passes out and Mac asks Ida to read his mind; she does so and relates the history of his long relationship with Mac. Spider's mission is to save the people of Rara Avis.

Pepe Moreno's middling art doesn't do much to enliven this chapter of the Mac Tavish saga called "Demons of the Zodiac." Nothing much happens, really--Mac and Spider hide from the bad guys and then we get a long flashback sequence. No wonder Jim Stenstrum took his name off it and had Warren credit the story to "Alabaster Redzone" instead.

The Horizon Seekers plod on, now joined by Lolo, the lone survivor from the castle of cannibal women. The foursome bed down for the night around a campfire, but Lolo is unable to control her urges and is about to take a bite of Allison's leg when she is grabbed by the jaws of a giant cockroach! The others awaken and attack one of a group of roaches, hoping that if they kill it the others will feed on it instead of them. Fortunately, they guessed right!

Try as I may, I just don't see four people
sleeping around a campfire.

I must be losing it because I thought "Hunger Strike" wasn't awful. Sure, the Duranona art is as crummy as ever and this is the second story this issue to feature giant bugs (I'm surprised Warren didn't try to turn this into a special "All Giant Bug!" issue), but it's only seven pages long and at least I know who the characters are and what's going on. After what seems like 99 installments of the story that never ends, you'd hope I know the three main characters.

The swordfighter approaches the castle of the Yagyu ninjas and is quickly admitted after he displays the head of Do-Shin in a box. He is taken to see old Lord Yagyu, who knows all about him and his mission. Lord Yagyu challenges the sword fighter to kill his son, but the son is a ninja with a child princess strapped to his front! The sword fighter quickly dispatches with his opponent and frees the princess, only to discover that Lord Yagyu burned out her eyes with a red hot poker. The sword fighter delivers justice by piercing one of Lord Yagyu's eyes with an arrow; he then makes his escape, princess in hand, by leaping into a moat.

I expect Peter will challenge my four-star rating for "Lair of the Assassins," but I enjoyed every page. Mayerik's art is great and the story moves along quickly. The swordplay reminds me of the end of Sanjuro, where Mifune's Samurai dispatches with his opponent in a heartbeat. This story is a great way to end a mediocre issue of Eerie.-Jack

Peter-The "Death Orb?" What was Warren paying Dube by this point that he didn't even try disguising his rip-offs? At least looking for goofy "homages" was more interesting than paying attention to the story. Thank Odin there's no test at end of each installment. I'm not sure what I read and what I dreamt when I was nodding off. I will not miss the Rook! Great art by Alcala wasted.

I won't spend much time explaining why Don McGregor's "Ruins" is crap. In fact, I won't spend any time. The guy wins my Most Pretentious Writer of the 1970s Award hands-down. No competition. All that needs to be said is in the panel I've reprinted here. Reading "Beastworld" (which is surely Bruce Jones's nadir at Warren) makes me wonder why the characters would wear any clothes whatsoever. Monica's jumpsuit only covers half of her ass and less than that up front and high; just enough to get a PG-13 rating, which makes clothing disposable. The story (such as it is) reminds me of one of those low-budget AIP flicks like Food of the Gods... there ain't much in the budget so bad opticals will have to do. A calm moment and then... YEAAAAAARGH... a giant grasshopper! A breath of relief after that one is dispatched and then... OMIGOOOOOOOOD... it's a giant boll weevil!!!

Duranona clearly missed Cary Bates's instructions
to somehow get a half-buried Statue of Liberty in this panel

More Star Wars rip-off, this time courtesy of Pepe Moreno. I'd love to see notes on these things: "Please make sure we get a character that looks like Chewbacca at some point." That's not the only problem with Moreno's art; it looks like a rough draft, like Louise (or whoever was in charge by this point) blindly stamped "ACCEPTED" on the boards and hurried Pepe on to his next assignment. Don't even ask me what's going on in this saga; like so many other Eerie series, it seems like there was no real plan in place. "The Horizon Seekers" just keep right on seeking... whatever they're seeking... and Jack will be happy to know we will be covering the grand finale (ostensibly subtitled "Horizon Found") in our final post in two weeks. Can't wait!

As for the final story this issue, "Lair of the Assassins," it's good in the way a John Wick flick is good; outlandish, mindless and violent entertainment with a bit of a plot and lots of gore. ★★★★ is being a bit too kind, but I will agree it's far and away the best story in this issue and continues to be the best series going in this title. I'll give it a solid ★★★

Jose Gonzalez

Vampirella #82

"The Lost Soul of Adam Van Helsing"★★

Story by Bill DuBay

Art by Jose Gonzalez

"Blind Justice"★★

Story by Bruce Jones

Art by Leo Duranona

"Prey for the Wolf"★★

Story by Cary Bates

Art by Brian Lewis

"Fever"★★1/2

Story by Roger McKenzie

Art by Val Mayerik

"Deep Love"★1/2

Story by Cary Bates

Art by Joe Vaultz

"The Night Willa Jane Gornley Went Home"★★

Story by Archie Goodwin

Art by Val Mayerik & Jeff Easley

Conrad asks Vampi to rush over to his pad. When she arrives, she finds that Adam is dying! Conrad summons Kala, high priestess to the Temple of Vishnu, and she pops over from India in the blink of an eye, wearing even fewer clothes than Vampi, to determine quickly that Adam's soul has been stolen. Kala puts Conrad and Vampi into a trance so they can find out what happened to "The Lost Soul of Adam van Helsing."

It seems the Shiva cult wants revenge for the death of their leader, Jadoo Bindu (apparently in Vampirella  #73--don't worry, we don't remember, either), and stole Adam's soul to get back at Vampi. Kala tells the Drakulonian babe that the only way to rescue her lover is to battle for his life on the astral plane. Vampi goes into another trance and enters said plane, where she manages to outsmart Yama, the Dark Angel of Death; Kali, the giant woman with many arms; and Maya, Queen of Illusion. Finally, Vampi reaches Adam and has to put the bite on him to break his trance. The lovers are reunited and all ends happily.

I was excited to see the return of Jose Gonzalez as artist on the Vampirella strip; he hasn't been seen in several issues and we've had to put up with Mayo and Marcos. Jose does a nice job but it's not anywhere near the level of quality he demonstrated earlier in the series' run. The funniest moments in the story came when we saw what Pendragon and Pantha were up to while Vampirella was on a quest to save Adam: Pen was at a horror film festival and Pantha was in bed with a movie mogul! Figures, doesn't it?

Retired attorney Philip Barkham went blind and hasn't practiced law in a dozen years, so he's surprised to be summoned by Johnny Daniels, who's awaiting trial for the murder of his wife Tally. Daniels explains that he and his wife spent their honeymoon in a rented bubble on a desert planet but had a fight and he flew off into space in a huff, leaving her alone. Engine trouble delayed his return for two weeks and when he got back, he found that she had killed herself. She kept a diary that explained what drove her to suicide but he ripped out the pages and discarded them in despair.

Barkham takes the case and, at trial, Daniels relates what was in the missing diary pages. Tally was menaced by a horrible creature that ate her extremities and kept her alive by providing food. The prosecutor's cross-examination points out that she could not have written a diary without arms; he insists that Daniels murdered his wife and then made up a fantastic story. Barkham puts his client on the stand and elicits the truth: Tally killed herself after discovering that she was pregnant with the monster's child and Daniels followed her instructions never to tell a soul. The jury finds him not guilty of murder.

"Blind Justice" starts out terribly, with Duranona once again using a mix of photos and childlike drawings to depict the events on the desert planet. It looks like he photographed a toy truck in a pile of dirt and then drew a little woman driving it. The monster looks like something he made out of pieces of pasta and Styrofoam. Unexpectedly, the story drew me in, despite the poor illustrations. I did not guess the ending, so kudos to Bruce Jones for keeping it interesting. Too bad he didn't have a better artist.

Sitting by the campfire, Pa tells Jamie a strange bedtime story about some men in the Old West who became "Prey for the Wolf." Old Man Dolan's mail-order bride Jenny sure was purty, but when her hubby rode off with a posse, he came back to find her topless, surrounded by three strange men, and stark raving mad. The strangers blame Indians for her assault and they've captured a Cheyenne medicine man named Wolf-at-the-Throat, who one of the strangers blithely shoots and kills. Pa's father knew that the medicine man would have had nothing to do with women, so he puts the dead Indian on a burial platform. The body disappears and wolf tracks are seen following the three strangers, who are soon found dead, their throats torn out as if by a wolf.

This story seemed much longer than its six pages, probably due to the umpteen small panels chock-full of captions and dialog. The story is simple and the art by Brian Lewis has an underground comix feel to it, especially in the panels with the topless Jenny. Lewis died in December 1978.

A Native American known as the Hawk That Hunts Walking asks the old midwife who is caring for his wife, White Fawn, what he can do to help his pregnant wife. The old woman tells him that he must bring her the hide of the great buffalo before the moon is full. She adds that he can't find the buffalo; it will find him. He heads out into a snowstorm, burning with "Fever," and eventually encounters the buffalo. The full moon emerges from behind a cloud, so he knows it's too late, but the buffalo and its child head down the mountain, past the ruins of a civilization decimated by an atomic bomb.

Mayerik's art is the highlight of this ten-pager, which works well until the disappointing ending. I like all of the Native American aspects but the twist where it's the future rather than the past and mankind was wiped out by a nuclear holocaust has been done to death.

After a skeleton with a scarf of seaweed wrapped around its neck washes up on the beach, two men agree that it's a sign that cannibalistic mermaids are in the area. Under the sea, a beautiful young mermaid is being prepared by her mother to go out on her own for the first time. She approaches a figure on the ocean floor wearing a diving suit, unaware that it's an alien who is hunting mermaids!

Joe Vaultz's art is ugly, just in a different way than Duranona's. The story is silly and seems long at six pages. The ending falls flat and my guess that the alien is hunting mermaids is only a guess because the last panel shows that it has exited the diving suit and is gripping the mermaid. Maybe he has the hots for her. I really can't say!

Ten-year-old Willa Jane Gornley stands atop a hill, wishing that an alien ship would descend from the sky and take her home. She was found as a baby, abandoned, disfigured, and disabled. She spent time in a county hospital and was adopted by a nurse, who raised her. Willa Jane grew up lonely, even though her mother and father tried to be kind. School did not go well, so when she learned to read, it was a blessing. When she read a science fiction pulp, she began to imagine that she was an alien child left behind. Her parents unable to care for her any longer, she waits until a spaceship appears and an alien seems to take her home. In reality, the alien was Death, and her lifeless body lies on the hilltop.

Again, that's my best guess as to what happened at the end of "The Night Willa Jane Gornley Went Home," since it's somewhat confusing. It looks like a spaceship lands and an alien takes her away, but the alien's face is a skull and the last panel seems to show Willa Jane's body on the ground. Did she imagine the whole thing? Did she transition to another plane of reality? Archie Goodwin's return to Warren has not been as good as we might have hoped and his stories to date are not up to the level of the best of his work before he left.-Jack

Peter-Every Vampi adventure begins with some variation of "Vampirella had encountered many great dangers over the course of her life but this would prove to be the most amazing!" and then we get just another variation on the same old Dube script. Nothing new to "The Lost Soul..." and the miracle cure was pretty dopey considering how much "danger" Adam was in. 

I'd love to know who told Leo Duranona that mixing bad art with bad photos was a great idea. Again, I think the editor was out to lunch (or, more likely, looking for a better job) when the final product came in to the Warren offices. It's not just the mixture but how random the process becomes. In one panel, we have a photo for Barkham's face and, two panels later, it's drawn. I do like that Barkham lives in a giant popcorn ball. I'll give "Blind Justice" an extra star though for the concept. Perry Mason on Mars.

The script for Cary Bates's "Prey for the Wolf" is a bit hokey (and its opening borrows from The Searchers) but it is engaging; it just doesn't have much of a finale. The art by Brian Lewis (in his only Warren appearance) is effective but comic book-y in spots. Still, warts and all, this is the best story in the issue. Roger McKenzie's "Fever" suffers from its "oh my God, this is really a post-apocalyptic world!" climax but gains points for its strong Mayerik art. I liked "Deep Love" more than Jack but I'm also confused about the climax. Was the alien diving in the suit to fool our mermaid beauty into thinking he was a human? Why bother with the subterfuge? Just go raid the mermaid village. 

As maudlin as "Willa Jane" might be, I still thought it fairly effective. Like Jack, I had issues with the climax, and Archie seems to borrow themes from "Benjamin Button" and Close Encounters, but despite those flaws, I can't deny it tugged at my heartstrings. Given over to Don McGregor, we'd have probably gotten a dissertation on the horrors of the adoption industry; at least Archie focuses on the human aspects of the story.

Next Week...
So did he?
Or didn't he?