The Critical Guide to
the Warren Illustrated Magazines
1964-1983
by Uncle Jack
& Cousin Peter
Kenneth Smith |
"One Way to Break the Boredom" ★
Story by James Haggenmiller
Art by Jack Sparling
"Weird World" ★1/2
Story by Nick Cuti
Art by Tom Sutton
"Frankenstein is a Clown" ★
Story by Bill Warren
Art by Carlos Garzon
"On the Wings of a Bird" ★★
Story by T. Casey Brennan
Art by Jerry Grandenetti
"Forbidden Journey!" ★★1/2
Story by Greg Theakston & Rich Buckler
Art by Rich Buckler
"If a Body Meet a Body" ★
Story by R. Michael Rosen
Art by Jack Sparling
"Frozen Beauty" ★★★
Story & Art by Richard Corben
"One Way to Break the Boredom" |
I lived through the early '70s and I swear no one had talked like this in at least half a decade. Was Jim Haggenmiller channeling his inner Kerouac? The script is supremely dopey, even minus the inane dialogue and Jack Sparling is... well, Jack Sparling. Minus half a star for dressing Beelzebub in Peter Tork's old vest.
Spaceman Silas Dunn crash lands on a distant planet, but when he gets out of the ship he discovers he's actually in some kind of warped version of Alice in Wonderland, complete with talking toads. Turns out Silas has actually become stranded on an interstellar insane asylum. Way too goofy for my tastes, "Weird World" (no relation to the series created by Doug Moench years later for Marvel) comes off as another pretentious romp written by an English major who wants to share with the world just how much he learned in a few years at college. The Sutton art isn't all that great either.
"Frankenstein is a Clown" |
"Frankenstein is a Clown" offers more proof that Bill Warren was a wonderful and entertaining film historian but couldn't write a funny book story to save his life. Warren peppers his script with wink-wink nods to the classics ("Now I know how it is to feel like a God!") that come off more pretentious than knowing. The climax makes no sense whatsoever; the studio lights drive Jorjo nuts for some reason and he picks up kids in a threatening way, only to let them loose in the very next panel.
"On the Wings of a Bird" |
In deep space, a quartet of explorers heads for Planetfall-3, a world that's been used to dump a valuable element known as Thurium, in hopes they can land a big payday. As the planet approaches, the Captain decides that one share is better than four and eliminates his partners one by one. On the planet's surface, with his last companion sinking in a patch of quicksand, the Captain smiles and heads back to his ship but realizes, a few panels too late, that the entire planet is a sinkhole. The ship is gone and so's his oxygen! "Forbidden Journey!" is a fun little space opera with a genuinely surprising climax and great Buckler visuals reminiscent of the work Al Williamson did for EC back in the day. Greg Theakston was a super-fan made good and, decades later, wrote a fascinating piece for his self-published zine (Pure Images) on the early days of Warren.
Carl and Al are speeding along a high road when Al loses control of the car and they fall to a fiery death. Later, Carl awakens at the scene, vaguely remembering what happened, and walks home to his wife, Linda. Sadly, we come to find, Linda can't hear or see Carl because... he's dead! A ghostly Al shows up to explain the laws of the spirit world to his spectral compadre, telling him he must reenact his own death in order to enter "the other side." Carl leaps off the cliff and, moments later, Linda emerges from the shadows to congratulate Al on his brilliant plan. Al wanted Linda and Carl was in the way, so the two lovers convinced Carl he was dead and... (sheesh, why am I bothering). The pair climb down the hillside to make sure Carl's body is close enough to the car for the cops to waive foul play and discover the dead body is actually... Al! He's the dead guy! Where that leaves Linda, who knows? Holy cow, what a tin can full of rat droppings is the package known as "If a Body Meet a Body," penned by R. Michael Rosen. If Jack and I awarded a "Worst Story of the Year" prize, this would be hard to beat. The structuring, timing, and "plot twists" are all nonsensical. If Al was actually the passenger killed, where is Carl and how come Linda was at Carl's funeral? If Al is dead, how come Linda is interacting with him? Am I spending too much time on this one? Yeah, you're right.
"Frozen Beauty" |
"Frozen Beauty" |
Jack-I agree with you that the Corben story is fun and a hidden gem, oddly tucked at the very back of the book after all the ads. The story is great up to the somewhat disappointing conclusion and Corben's art reminds me a bit of Robert Crumb's work. The rest of the issue is mediocre. "One Way to Break the Boredom" is boring, with an embarrassingly hip devil and more of the same from Sparling. Another bad script by Nick Cuti drags down Tom Sutton's decent art in "Weird World," while "Frankenstein is a Clown" features the umpteenth variation on an old theme. I do like Carlos Garzon's art, though. Like you, I was disappointed in Jerry G's art in "On the Wings of a Bird," and I thought the script was terrible, so I'm baffled that it won an award. Buckler's art on "Forbidden Journey!" is slick but, again, it's in service of yet another bad science fiction story. I actually thought "If a Body Meet a Body" wasn't half bad; the twist in the middle surprised me but, as is so often the case, the writer flubbed the ending.
Corben |
"Point of View"★★
Story by Buddy Saunders
Art by Tom Sutton
"The Drop"★
Story by Chris Fellner
Art by Bill Fraccio & Tony Tallarico
"The Devil's Hand!"★1/2
Story & Art by Bill DuBay
"The Alien Plague!"★★
Story & Art by Billy Graham
"The Oasis"★★
Story by Buddy Saunders
Art by Carlos Garzon
"Lady in Ice"★★★
Story by Nick Cuti
Art by Frank Bolle
"The Killer Slime"★★
Story by Steve Skeates
Art by Carlos Garzon
How the heck do you read this? ("Point of View") |
I groan inwardly whenever I see a parallel story in a comic book, partly because they're so hard to read! Do you read down one column of the page and then the other, or do you bounce back and forth from left to right in each row? Neither seems satisfying, and then there is the inevitable point where the stories converge. I enjoy Sutton's art on just about anything, but this is nine pages of yawn-inducing moralizing.
John is a basketball star and the tallest guy in school. Dorothy is a cheerleader and the shortest gal in school. Naturally, they are a couple, and John takes Dorothy to a haunted house where they both drop acid. As a result of "The Drop," Dorothy seems to find herself shrinking, while John finds himself growing. He steps on what he thinks is an insect. It's really Dorothy.
"The Drop" |
When a young man walks through the door of an antiques and curios shop, the last thing he expects is that the proprietor will lead him down to the basement and show him a cage in which resides "The Devil's Hand!" The disembodied hand moves around independently and the shop owner tells a strange story: in 1722, a witches' coven sliced the appendage off of the big guy himself in an attempt to gain power, but only succeeded in gaining a hand that they had to keep in a cage.
"The Devil's Hand!" |
The old disembodied hand with a mind of its own again, eh? Bill DuBay's art is only so-so and the story follows the usual "scary hand" tropes we've seen going way back to The Beast With Five Fingers. I know DuBay will become a major force at Warren, but this story does not suggest anything other than the same old thing.
Scientists are sent to a distant planet to investigate "The Alien Plague!" that has been wiping people out. They find a strange lack of paper and one of the men is struck in the hand by a small piece of metal; he soon dies of the plague and disintegrates. The scientists deduce that the aliens are like vampires who thrive on the pulp in paper and who can be found where the paper is dumped. The pile of old paper is located and the scientists are attacked and killed by flying staples from all of the old magazines lying around.
"The Alien Plague!" |
Billy Graham's art is so cool that it makes up for the sheer lunacy of this story, which also features a prologue and epilogue suggesting that the events keep repeating over and over. Other scientists in space suits find a Warren mag with the story of "The Alien Plague" in it and it all happens over and over again. I always kind of enjoyed these comic book stories where the characters are reading their own adventures--the cover of Shazam #6 springs to mind for some reason. Graham's stories are notable in that he usually includes at least one African-American character among the cast, and the diversity is welcome, especially because the African-American characters are just there among the others and are not singled out.
Following a bitter battle between men and spiders on a desert planet, the men cross the desert in a tank, searching for water to slake their terrible thirst. They come upon "The Oasis" but the spiders reach it too, and further gun play results in major fatalities on both sides. Lt. Gunn is the last human survivor and he witnesses the fate of the last surviving spiders as they reach the water: they are attacked by a giant plant that used the water to lure unsuspecting thirsty folk to their doom.
"The Oasis" |
I know I sound like a broken record, but the art keeps this story going! Carlos Garzon's work in Creepy #36 was cool and I like it here as well. The spiders are especially neat. He also draws Lt. Gunn with a hat that makes him look like Blackhawk. Okay, I admit it--I'm a DC geek.
October Weir's wife Vida has a strange dream in which a beautiful dead woman tells her to seek her grave in Bangor, Maine. Good hubby that he is, October takes Vida to Bangor, where they visit his old friend, Dr. Bunuso. The doctor has a young wife named Mary Ann and he also has the "Lady in Ice," a woman frozen solid in a block of ice four thousand years old. Mary Ann turns up the heat to dispose of the ice-encased female but the woman, upon thawing out, pushes Mary Ann out of a window to her death.
I really enjoyed "Lady in Ice," which marks the return of continuing character October Weir. It packs a lot of plot into seven pages and Frank Bolle's art is refreshingly professional. It reads like something we'd find in a Charlton ghost comic, though I have to say that Dr. Bunuso isn't much of a friend if he murdered his wife and now tries to kill Vida!
"The Killer Slime" |
A knockoff of Invasion of the Body Snatchers with some updated concerns about chemical waste, Skeates's story is not bad, it's just not very good or original. Garzon's art seems rushed in places, though some panels show a welcome Eisner influence. All in all, an up and down issue of Eerie, with some of the same old problems lingering but with signs of promise.-Jack
Peter-The colliding POVs of "Point of View" reminded me quite a bit of Big Bob Kanigher's favorite story trick; the story itself is old hat and only adds ammunition to my argument that Warren could not successfully dabble in SF. Cousin Eerie himself sums up "The Drop" quite well in his closing comments when he calls the story a "bad trip." I'd add the adjectives "inane" and "ugly." The climax makes no sense whatsoever. "The Devil's Hand!" and "The Alien Plague!" were both so inane (the latter on a classically bad level) that I found my attention wandering and focusing on aspects of the strips I was not meant to focus on. In "Devil," it was the fact that the main character looked just like the Monster Scenes' Dr. Deadly model kit. No, seriously! And Billy Graham was one heck of an artist but his scripts lacked... oh, I don't know... focus? But, more importantly, I wondered while reading "The Alien Plague!" if Billy was doing his own lettering as well. If so, uh oh. There are more typos and bad possessives here than in a grade school kid's first essay.
"Lady in Ice" is a bizarre mish-mash of hardboiled crime and horror that works in neither genre; it most closely resembles a bad episode of the CBS Radio Mystery Theater. I was confused for the entire length of the story. And only one paragraph after deriding Warren's bad science fiction, I will trumpet the only enjoyable tales to be found in Eerie #31, both with SF elements: "The Oasis" and "The Killer Slime." Now, don't get me wrong, I'm still standing high atop my mountain with a bullhorn exclaiming to anyone who will listen: "Please! Avoid Warren SF at any costs!," but I'll also admit that a goofy grin came across my face as I read these two stories. "The Killer Slime" (written by the always-interesting Steve Skeates) is like a dark Outer Limits episode and "The Oasis" has a fabulous twist in its tail I never saw coming. Further, "The Oasis" earns an extra star for dropping us into the middle of the action and not wasting two pages on expository we could care less about.
Vallejo & Wood |
"The Testing!" ★★1/2
Story by Archie Goodwin
Art by Tom Sutton
"Monster Bait!" ★
Story by Don Glut
Art by Joe Wehrle
"Fate's Cold Finger!" ★1/2
Story by Doug Moench
Art by Ken Barr
"The Curse" ★★★
Story & Art by Wally Wood
"Jack the Ripper Strikes Again" ★★★
Story by Chris Fellner
Art by Jerry Grandenetti
"The Boy Who Loved Trees!" ★1/2
Story by Gardner Fox & Barry Smith
Art by Barry Smith
"The Work Orders for the Day!" ★
Story & Art by Jack Katz
"The Testing!" |
"The Testing" |
"The Testing!" |
"Monster Bait!" |
"Fate's Cold Finger!" |
"The Curse" |
"The Curse" |
"Jack the Ripper Strikes Again" |
"Jack the Ripper..." |
",,,Strikes Again" |
"The Boy Who Loved Trees" |
"The Work Orders for the Day!" |
Jack Katz, the well-respected small press/underground sensation of the early 1970s, closes Vampirella #9 with a head-scratching science fiction tale (written under his "Alac Justice" pseudonym) that defies synopsis. In short, it's 1985, something real bad has happened, and the remnants of the human race are slaves to a huge electronic machine known as "Monitoring Station #40." I'll not try to talk my way through this thing as I'm still trying to make sense of what it was about. Sorry, big-thinking sci-fi fans; if I can't make heads or tails of it, I'm not going to fake it with superlatives about Katz's keen sense of humanity or that sort of hogwash. It's not my cup of tea.-Peter
Jack-The highlight of a strong issue is "The Curse," and I'm overjoyed at the return of Wally Wood! The story is pretty good and the art is gorgeous, so I'm satisfied. I had that one at 3.5 stars and then three other stories tied at 3 stars: "The Testing!," "Jack the Ripper Strikes Again," and "The Boy Who Loved Trees." I prefer stories with continuing characters, so I'm pleased to see Vampi's saga moving along; Tom Sutton knocks her image out of the park and I also enjoyed how he drew Lenny's disintegration. I agree with you, Peter, about "Jack the Ripper"; Jerry G. is back in his strong territory with this spooky tale. I thought the Barry Smith (signed "Bashful Barry Smith") story was very well done, with an ending both gruesome and entertaining. "The Work Order for the Day!" is dull and obvious with mediocre art, but it's a touch better than "Monster Bait! and "Fate's Cold Finger!"--I guess Ken Barr is better at covers than strips.
Next Week... More Hard-Hitting Blitzkrieg |
Brace yourselves, "On the Wings of a Bird" is going to have a sequel a few issues later in Creepy.
ReplyDeleteRichard Corben's stories are fun and gruesome. This first of his many stories to come in Warren magazines is morbidly fun with some truly unique art. Some of his oncoming stories do get a touch heavy handed with some political and topical issues thrown in for good measure, but most are a breath of fresh air to this magazine series.
Also "The Curse" is a lot of fun with the gorgeous Wally Wood art and a twist at the end I did not see coming with our reluctant hero actually being a lizard.
A sequel? God save us.
ReplyDeletePretentious is exactly the way I'd describe the garbage that is "On the Wings of a Bird". Somehow Brennan must have fooled Warren into thinking this was a good story, both to sell it in the first place and win the best story award; perhaps they mistook how nonsensical it was for genius. Alas, the "success" of this story means we are getting several more stories like this from Brennan before he is thankfully put out to pasture. Not just the sequel to this story but other garbage like "A Stranger in Hell" and "Dungeons of the Soul". And as sorry as I am to say it, we will eventually see him take over as the Vampirella writer once Archie Goodwin leaves again.
ReplyDeleteThe clown is a monster type story I find is handled far better in a story that will appear in 1975 in Vampirella; "Laugh Clown Laugh" is the title if I am remembering right.
The arrival of Richard Corben makes me quite happy; it will be a while before we get the joy that is his color stories, but even his black and white work is such a treat to look at and read, and at least until the arrival of the Spanish artists (not that far off now) he's got to be the highlight of any issue. And I've got some good news for you, he's actually got 50 stories, not 47. Plus a number of covers too.
By my count you've got 3 more blog posts, and then we will never have to see the likes of Fraccio and Tallarico again...
Vampirella #9's got one of the strangest cover decisions of all time, where you've got a great Boris Vallejo panting and decide it is only worth half the cover and surround it by a black and white panel reprint. Warren was really that excited about Wally Wood's return? Joe Wehrle will eventually make another Warren appearance, although as a writer this time, incidentally enough for the first story drawn by one of Warren's top 5 best artists of all time (in this reader's opinion), Esteban Maroto. I never knew "Alac Justice" was Jack Katz; I saw a lot of him in the Skywald mags, which I'm still working my way through for the first time.
No more Fraccio & Tallarico? Hooray!
ReplyDeleteFortunately, the sequel "Escape from Nowhere World" to "On the Wings of a Bird" doesn't show up until 6 issues later. Issue 42 to be exact.
ReplyDeleteSomehow I'd want to ADD half a star for a story with "Peter Tork's vest" (and not just because of last year).
ReplyDeleteWow, these are the most inane reviews of some of Warren's best work that I've ever read. "pretentious" is what I call the writersof this drivel. Bill Warren a hack? HA! Sacrilege! Barry Smith's are looks "unfinished?" Bwahaha! Idiotic! Ken Bar's work sub-par? HAHAHAHA! Some of the best comic work every done was by Barr! That the "writer" can't wrap his head around the simnple idea of a ghost returning in "If a Body Meet a Body" is all that needs to be said. The Author is obviously more at home with cheesy "CCA" edited funny books than the great classic horror of Warren. This the first page of this I've come across and it will definitely be the last. What utter BS.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment. I'm sorry you did not enjoy the post. I appreciate your opinions.
ReplyDelete