The sadness and loneliness of old age are played for laughs in "There Was an Old Woman," where a solitary septuagenarian comes face to face with a violent and desperate man and his ravenous wife. Monica Laughton lives alone in her big, old house, her only visitor the milkman. A black wreath hangs on her front door, but who has died?
When the milkman stops by a lunch counter and chats with the proprietor, he happens to mention that he thinks that it is dangerous for Miss Laughton to live alone with all that money in the house--he once heard that her fiancee left her "near about a million dollars." This remark attracts the attention of Frank Bramwell, who sits at the lunch counter having coffee. He and his wife are broke and decide to pay a visit to the Laughton house to steal the old woman's money. When they arrive, she welcomes them in and seems to think that they are distant cousins who have come for the funeral of Oscar, who was to be the best man at her wedding.
Yet all is not as it seems at the Laughton house, as the Bramwells quickly discover. Monica introduces them to her guests who have assembled for the wake, yet the guests are all present only in her imagination. In the coffin, where Oscar is supposed to lie, they see a pince nez, bow tie, carnation, and gloves, but no body. Monica has created an entire extended family in her mind and speaks to them as if they were present. The only other inhabitant of the house is her cat, Tippy, and the Bramwells realize that the old woman has lost her grip on reality.
Charles Bronson as Frank Bramwell |
Monica leaves the Bramwells in her bedroom and they begin to search for her hidden fortune. Finding nothing, Frank demands that Monica tell him the location of the money but she responds that Oscar left them nothing in her will. Not only broke but also hungry, the Bramwells seek food in the kitchen but find nothing edible; Monica promises a sumptuous dinner and, after she leaves the room, Frank tells his wife that they will have to kill the old woman to conceal their theft, arguing that "that old dame, she's lived long enough."
A long table is beautifully set for dinner, but the Bramwells discover that there is no food on the table and that the only living creatures present are themselves, the old woman, and her cat, who lounges where a platter of meat should be. After greedily spooning soup from a saucepan on the kitchen stove, Frank menaces Monica with his pocket-knife, forcing her to open a wall safe that had been hidden behind a portrait. No money is found, but the safe contains treasures of Monica's youth: "fans, dance programs, and valentines." Frank threatens to kill Monica's imaginary guests if she does not tell him where the money is, but his wife convinces him to wait till morning.
Estelle Winwood as Monica Laughton |
The final scene parallels the first, as the milkman arrives at Monica's front door and sees that now two black wreaths hang in mourning. Monica asks him to order a second coffin, remarking that two distant cousins have died. She insists on paying his bill and reaches into the large bag that she has carried with her throughout the episode; we see that it is full of money, and she gives the milkman a $1000 bill because she has nothing smaller, remarking that her purse is "the safest place in the world."
Norma Crane as Mrs. Bramwell |
Does Monica intend to poison the Bramwells? I do not think so. Cockrell's script sets up the ending carefully, as two facts are brought up repeatedly throughout the story: Monica has a mouse problem and the Bramwells are very hungry. True, it is bizarre that she makes poisonous cupcakes for mice, but she does tell Mrs. Bramwell that the baked goods are for the rodents, not for her. The fact that the Bramwells eat them and die horrible deaths off screen hardly seems to be the fault of the old woman.
And what exactly does happen to the Bramwells? Presumably, they die from eating rat poison and Monica chooses to proceed with a wake for them, even though it means dealing with real corpses rather than imaginary ones. Monica must be a woman of great resources to be able to deal with their dead bodies, though one wonders what she will do with them after she holds a wake that will surely be attended by more imaginary friends.
Dabbs Greer as Theodore |
Marion Cockrell's teleplay was based on an unpublished story by Jerry Hackady (1924-2005) and Harold Hackady (1922-2015). Jerry was born in Connecticut and died in Florida. I have been unable to find any published writing credited to him. IMDb shows that he had a brief career in television as an actor in a few shows in 1952 and 1953 and as a writer of this Hitchcock episode and of an episode of Lights Out in 1951.
Both of Jerry's TV writing credits list Harold as co-writer. Harold had a longer career in show business than did Jerry, writing for TV and film from 1950 to 1971 and finding success as a lyricist for Broadway shows, where he was better known as Hal Hackady. Neither Jerry nor Hal have any other credits on the Hitchcock TV show.
Emerson Treacy |
Charles Bronson (1921-2003) plays Frank Bramwell. Born Charles Buchinsky in Pennsylvania, Bronson worked in the coal mines as a boy before joining the Air Force in World War Two. His acting career began in 1949 and he appeared on TV and film before becoming a popular movie star in the 1970s in films like Death Wish (1974). Bronson was in three episodes of Alfred Hitchcock Presents, including "And So Died Riabouchinska" and "The Woman Who Wanted to Live."
The early seasons of Alfred Hitchcock Presents do not list character names in the credits, so Mrs. Bramwell is never given a first name as far as I can tell, though Frank does introduce her and Bronson mumbles her name, which might be Annie. Online credits list the character's name as Lorna. She is played by Norma Crane (1928-1973), who was born Norma Zuckerman and whose screen career ran from 1951 to 1974. She was in three episodes of Alfred Hitchcock Presents, including "The Equalizer," and she played Goldie in the 1971 film version of Fiddler on the Roof.
"Oscar" in his coffin |
Finally, making a brief appearance as the man at the lunch counter is Emerson Treacy (1900-1967), who was on screen from 1930 to 1962. He had a popular radio and stage act in the 1930s called Treacy and Seabrook; his partner was an actress named Gay Seabrook.
"There Was an Old Woman" aired on CBS on Sunday, March 18, 1956. It is available on DVD here or may be viewed online here.
Sources:
Grams, Martin, and Patrik Wikstrom. The Alfred Hitchcock Presents Companion. Churchville, MD: OTR Pub., 2001. Print.
IMDb. IMDb.com. 11 Nov. 2017. Web.
"There Was an Old Woman." Alfred Hitchcock Presents. CBS. 18 Mar. 1956. Television.
Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation, 11 Nov. 2017. Web.
In two weeks: "The Gentleman from America," starring Biff McGuire!
I definitely agree about the poisoning being accidental, because anything else would just be out of character for Monica. Not that I know the episode extremely well, but it always stays with me. That line about sending the imaginary friends away because of a lunatic like him might be the best comedy line of any Hitchcock episode. At any rate, I think it's very close.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Grant. That is a great line and she delivers it perfectly. It's interesting to review these stories as grouped by writer. Marian Cockrell's episodes seem to have some gentle, eccentric female characters.
ReplyDelete"gone to Glory all of them" is the line that always brings a tear to my eye.
ReplyDeleteShe gives a memorable performance, doesn't she?
ReplyDelete