The DC War Comics 1959-1976
by Corporals Enfantino and Seabrook
by Corporals Enfantino and Seabrook
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| Joe Kubert |
"Flytrap Hill!"
Story by Robert Kanigher
Art by Joe Kubert
"Kite Jockey!"
Story by Hank Chapman
Art by Ross Andru and Mike Esposito
Jack: Sgt. Rock and Easy Co. are stuck on "Flytrap Hill," unable to advance through heavy enemy fire. Rock calls his C.O. and asks permission to withdraw but the C.O. insists on sending a messenger with a written order to withdraw to make sure the enemy hasn't hijacked the telephone line. He sends a friendless new recruit who nicknames himself "Lonesome" and who survives getting shot in both legs and one arm before finally staggering up to Rock and delivering the message, which he assumes is an attack order. Rock and Easy Co. are so impressed by the man's grit and determination that they attack and break through the enemy fire. As Lonesome is carted away on a stretcher, he hopes Easy Co. will remember him and that they do by renaming Flytrap Hill as Lonesome Hill.
This one sounds better in the telling than it actually reads. As the misfortunes piled up on Lonesome, I was reminded of the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Poor Lonesome just keeps on truckin'. At the end, for some strange reason, he suddenly knows all of the nicknames of the men of Easy Co. It's like he's a comic fan who is thrilled to meet his heroes.
Peter: We've been partnered too long, Jack, as the Monty Python sketch was exactly what I was thinking! The art's great but the script is lukewarm. It's fabulous though, compared to the big hunk of dumb that finishes off the issue. "Kite Jockey" features enough "Yeah, right!" scenes to make you doubt Hank Chapman actually knew anything about WWII. Yes, I know it's a funny book and aimed at kids so there's a bit of fancifulness to be expected but the scene where our "Kite Jockey" and his crew manage to pull the pins on two crates of grenades and then dump them into the "teeth " of a Nazi Wulf (right behind them), all while flying inside a tunnel, is science fiction at best, horse manure at worst.
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| Joe Kubert |
"Submarine Baby-Sitter!"
Story by Hank Chapman
Art by Jack Abel
"TNT Toothache"
Story by Robert Kanigher
Art by Jack Abel
Jack: When he was a lad, Joey's big brothers paid him in ice cream and candy to babysit for his little sister. He grew up and joined the service, but when he was home on leave his brothers went out on dates with their wives and left him to babysit their kids. But Joey never expected to become a "Submarine Baby-Sitter!" Somewhere in the Pacific, Joey's brother Bill is in a sub that has been damaged and is sitting on the ocean floor. Joey happens to be a frogman and his brother Ed flies him to the spot where Bill's sub lies. Enemy depth charges and torpedoes don't faze our Joey, who turns them all right back on the bad Japanese. He blows up an enemy destroyer and lands in the hospital, but his wise-cracking brothers decide to send his pretty nurse packing and babysit him themselves.
Why in the world would such a mediocre, nine-page Chapman/Abel story be placed first in this issue? Because it's better than the 15-page exercise in "blockbusters and belly-laughs" that Kanigher and Abel serve up afterwards, in which Sarge chases Gunner around with pliers to try to pull out an aching tooth.
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| Come back, Jerry Grandenetti! All is forgiven. |
Peter: Oh my, the bottom of the barrel has officially been reached. "Submarine Baby-Sitter" is rife with such noxious Chapman dialogue as "Never has Bill needed a baby-sitter like he needs one now! That torp is pantin' toward baby's bassinet!" and "My heart was in my air tanks!" On the good news front, Gunner, Sarge, and Pooch lost their lease and have only five excruciating installments left! That has to be some good news, right? Coincidentally, I just got done reading (for the first time) Darwyn Cooke's DC: The New Frontier, a thoroughly enjoyable revisionist history of the 1950s DC heroes, wherein our "heroes," Gunner, Sarge, and Pooch are killed by the dinosaurs from the War That Time Forgot! Worth the price of admission for that alone. Highly recommended.
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| Joe Kubert |
"The Plane-Eater!"
Story by Robert Kanigher
Art by Ross Andru and Mike Esposito
"No Purple Heart for Pete!"
Story Uncredited
Art by Jack Abel
Peter: "No Purple Heart for Pete" is the latest in a seemingly unending line of lunk-headed machismo tales pumped out by Hank Chapman (it's not credited but the Chapman lingo is there everywhere). Pete is warned by his war-hero pop and grandpop that he better bring home some additions to the battle medal chest and it better not be one of those easy-out Purple Hearts either. No respecting son/grandson brings home an award for getting winged! So, of course, Pete spends the entirety of his tour trying to avoid getting hurt, not to keep himself alive but to avoid shaming the family crest. I'll save you the effort and reveal that, yep, Pete gets his Silver Star and his place back at the Christmas dinner table. "The Plane-Eater" is the 28th installment in the "War That Time Forgot" and the third involving the "Suicide Squad" sub-plot. Nothing new here, with Morgan still peppering every sentence with "You're yellow and I'll kill you if you try to run, Mace." I thought the "Pacific is loaded with dinosaurs but no one seems to know about it" plot had run its course but the Mace and Morgan addition makes this tedium times two.
Jack: I thought this was a pretty good issue. Of course, Mace sums the first story up on page one when he comments that "Morgan started his usual routine." I was happy to see that our heroes do not have amnesia for a change, and the dinosaurs this time out are pretty cool. Best of all is that Morgan and Mace get into a real battle and the baby Dino helps out without being seen by anyone else. I would like to know more about the Suicide Squad, which is said to be able to operate anything with wheels, fins, or wings, but I suspect we won't get to know that side of things much better before the characters are dropped for a new circus act that stumbles onto more dinosaurs.
As for "No Purple Heart for Pete," the battle action was decent but lines like "the Korean bang-bang" confirm your suspicion that this is penned by Hank Chapman. How sad is it that our careful reading of umpteen DC War comics has given us the ability to identify the Chapman writing style at a glance? That must be worth some sort of medal, if not a Purple Heart. Do you buy the suggestion in this story that a grandfather could have fought in WWI, his son in WW2, and his grandson in Korea? The timeline seems a little tight to me. When will we get our first Vietnam story?
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| Joe Kubert & Jack Adler |
"Battle of the Tank Graveyard!"
Story by Robert Kanigher
Art by Joe Kubert
"The Junkyard Champ!"
Story by Hank Chapman
Art by Jack Abel
Peter: Lt. Jeb Stuart has a particularly harrowing dream about being stuck in a "Battle of the Tank Graveyard!" Waking up, his relief is short-lived when General Jeb Stuart (the ghost) appears to him and informs him that the battle will soon be fought, just as it was in the young commander's nightmare. When Jeb brings the Jeb Stuart into a depot for a tune-up, the enemy attacks and leaves the area looking just as his nightmare had predicted. Through luck and battle experience, the crew is able to come out of the battle alive but Jeb's ghostly bodyguard sighs and tells him that the day is young. Sure enough, later that day, the boys are trapped in a canyon with burnt-out tanks surrounding them and the enemy closing in. The good guys blast the Nazi tank to hell but reinforcements are on the way and the Jeb Stuart is stuck in the canyon with Nazis behind and quicksand ahead. Jeb discovers that the quicksand is actually a ruse, a shallow pit built over a bridge designed to allow the enemy to use the canyon on the sly. After another showdown with the Germans, the Jeb is able to maneuver through the mud and exit a hero. This is a fabulously exciting entry in the "Haunted Tank" series, one that's filled end to end with dynamic visuals and well-choreographed battle scenes. Kanigher's script is dialogue heavy but light on the "TNT shampoo/bath/egg/whatever" nonsense and heavy on the deep and insightful: "Those buzzards parked on our necks are bettin' that you tankmen won't stop the enemy guns that are choppin' us down! And d'ya know what? Those buzzards can't find any takers!"
Top-notch excitement! Not so good is the back-up, another Hank Chapman groaner about a guy who grew up a bad baseball player and applies his skill level to bazooka loading, derided by his comrades until (surprise! surprise! surprise!) he saves the day and is instantly exonerated of his sins. We don't get enough war stories built on that foundation, do we?
Jack: Funny that you chose that particular panel to reproduce, since it also stuck out to me as a good example of how gritty Kubert's art is this time around. I was happy to see the ghost help out in battle for a change rather than simply give vague warnings-a ghostly hand helps Jeb lift his own hand to fire at a key moment. The cover, which looks painted, is also very nice. Note that all of this month's stories are drawn by Kubert, Abel, and Andru/Esposito, but all four covers are drawn by Kubert. DC was using their best war artist more and more to sell funny books.
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| In two weeks... Peter shows Jack what he thinks of Jack's Top Ten Mystery of 1975 |
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