The Warren Report Issue 80: November/December 1976 + The Best of 1975-76

 

The Critical Guide to

the Warren Illustrated Magazines

1964-1983

by Uncle Jack

& Cousin Peter

Kelly

Eerie #79

"Time and Time Again"★★★

Story by Bruce Jones

Art by Rich Corben

"The Pea-Green Boat"★1/2

Story by Budd Lewis

Art by Leopold Sanchez

"The Price!"★★★1/2

Story and Art by Jim Starlin

"Third Person Singular"★★

Story by Bruce Jones

Art by Luis Bermejo

"Sam's Son and Delilah!"★★

Story by Bruce Jones

Art by Carmine Infantino & Al Milgrom

Karen has been depressed since Jeff died, and when Mr. Weems from Federation Research asks her to transport herself back to the Cretaceous Age once again to retrieve a pistol that was dropped, she agrees. Back in time she goes, using transcendental meditation, but this time she has an agenda. She quickly finds and retrieves the pistol but also insists on killing the T-Rex that ate her lover. She manages to avoid being killed and blows away the dino with a rocket launcher, but to her surprise she meets Jeff and herself. It seems there was a miscalculation and she was sent back to a time before Jeff died. Since his body was buried in the present, she realizes that she has to kill him in the past, but her doppelganger jumps her and stays her hand. Spirit and body are reunited in the present, but when Karen gets off the table it is Jeff's soul that now inhabits her form--he was transported back to 1976 instead of Karen.

"Time and Time Again" is an odd sequel to "Within You... Without You" from two issues ago. This story sort of makes sense if you don't think about it too much. Corben again takes the opportunity to draw Karen in the nude for a couple of pages, for no good reason--not that we're complaining. The story has that wonky Corben feel, with unusual poses and faces that don't always look very good. The ending makes me wonder if there's more to come.

Eric Plusenkat answers an ad placed by J.A. Greene, who has been looking for someone to invest in his sailboat and share in an adventure. Greene, nicknamed "Owl," is a Vietnam vet who hates society and wants to escape to sea. Plusenkat, nicknamed "Pussycat," is a civilized businessman. They plan to set off in "The Pea-Green Boat" together, but Owl takes things too far when he lines the boat with metal and packs it with heavy artillery. One day, nuclear war breaks out and Owl sets sail just as hordes of people are rushing to the coast to escape the holocaust. Pussycat joins his friend and Owl machine-guns the poor unfortunates who want a ride. After ten days at sea, the radiation is down to a manageable level and the unlikely duo sail off to look for what remains of civilization.

Classic Budd Lewis, and awful. This story really offended me. Thank goodness for the decent art by Sanchez. I fear this is the sort of pretentious junk that will win a Warren Award, if they still give them out. The panels where Owl shoots or bludgeons the people who are trying to escape the nuclear holocaust are offensive, as is his character as a whole. I can't imagine many people liked this story, but perhaps I'm wrong.

Darklon thinks back to "The Price!" he had to pay to become the wizard he is today. His father was the warrior-king of Nebularia; Darklon was his opposite in every way. When his father was overpowered by a rebel attack, Darklon fled and sought help from the Nameless One, promising to give him everything in exchange for the power to kill his enemies. The Nameless One had Darklon murdered as step one in his rebirth as a powerful wizard.

Starlin's story doesn't seem terribly original, yet his artistic presentation of the events rarely fails to bring excitement to the pages. Darklon's costume is clearly influenced by Ditko, there is a Warlock/Thanos feeling to the larger characters, and on every page or two there is a large panel that stands out. The Darklon saga is more dark fantasy than horror, but it seems just weird and gruesome enough to fit in the pages of Eerie, and it's certainly better than many of the continuing series we've been forced to read.

Rick and Lee meet up at Skip Wilson's club for gay men and share a dance before leaving to go to Rick's apartment to look at pictures of naked women. It seems Rick and Lee are closet heterosexuals in a world where homosexuality is the norm and heterosexuality is outlawed. That Saturday night, they walk to meet Lee's contact and are attacked on the street by hooded, caped figures called Snuffers. Lee and Rick fight them off but realize that their secret must be out. They visit a club for heterosexuals, where they watch some vintage porn films. Rick speaks to Dr. Otis, a scientist, who explains that women are occasionally born, but they have limited brain capacity. Two Snuffers break in and kill Dr. Otis, but Rick manages to fight them off and survive. He pulls back the hood of one and discovers that it's a woman!

Bruce Jones tries to outdo Budd Lewis for the title of most pretentious writer in this issue of Eerie. The title of "Third Person Singular" comes from one of the speeches Dr. Otis gives, where he tells Rick that "We're the real freaks, Rick... you and I. Our kind makes up a third person... singularly alone in this chaotic society." I'm not sure what this means, but it doesn't matter--the story is embarrassing when read today. Was it any less so in 1976?

Lt. Wiggins investigates what caused the destruction of a football stadium in Brookridge and interviews Mrs. Radley, whose son Bubber was a deaf mute who displayed a talent for art from an early age. Bubber's boorish father only began to warm to the boy when he demonstrated an aptitude for football; Bubber grew to become a high school football star, though he always preferred drawing. At his father's insistence, he played college and then pro football, but when Bubber escaped to Greenwich Village, his father tracked him down and convinced his girlfriend to talk him into returning to Brookridge to play in the big game.

The city fathers built a huge stadium in Buber's honor, but the young man lost his cool and attacked the other players in the middle of the big game. His bizarre behavior was the result of a brain tumor that his father knew about but covered up because it would interfere with football. The tumor caused Bubber to go blind. His mother plotted revenge, using chemicals to weaken the stadium's support beams and then convincing Bubber to use his strength to push the beams apart, leading to the stadium's collapse.

"Sam's Son and Delilah!" is long, at 14 pages, and the Infantino/Milgrom art isn't the smoothest. Jones works hard to try to relate the Biblical story of Samson to poor Bubber's fate, having the boy go blind and bring down the temple, but it seems forced and unnecessary. I think the story might have worked better without shoehorning in the Biblical parallels. The stories by Bruce Jones in this issue are not impressive--the first one only rates three stars because of Corben's art. Hopefully, his work will improve.-Jack

Just because

Peter-As far as sequels go, Bruce Jones finds a fabulous "loophole" as a reason to bring the "Within You..." cast back to the pages of Eerie. That's a hilarious climactic panel. We'll have to wait until issue #87 for the third (and final) chapter. "Time and Time Again" was the best of five stories written for the Warren zines this month by Bruce Jones. The rest of his contributions are bin-liner material. That includes the gawdawful "Third Person Singular" (darn that Jack, stealing my thunder by using the P word to describe this uber-"I'm going to change the world with my writing" script), an oh-so-clever reversal of morals and prejudices. "Sam's Son and Delilah" stays away from Pretension but bathes itself in absurdity. It's also way too long. Proof that even the best horror funny book writer of the 1970s and 80s could have an off month.

And, Jack, for the first time in at least three paragraphs I disagree with you on a story. As clumsy as the initial installment may be, I look forward to the second chapter of "The Pea Green Boat" (there will be four chapters in the end), but then I'm a sucker for apocal-epics. Stories like this make me nostalgic for the 1970s, when nuclear fallout was only dangerous for ten days! The Darklon saga is a dazzling one, if in graphics only. The plot is just so much generic Dr. Strange-ish gobbledygook, but Starlin's art makes you forget he wrote text to go with the pitchers. 

Ken Kelly was responsible for two really good sports-themed covers this month, this one spotlighting Raiders legendary QB, Ken "Snake" Stabler, who guided his team to a Super Bowl XI victory just months after Eerie #79 hit the stands.

Kelly

Creepy #84

"Hitter's Wind!" ★★★

Story by Roger McKenzie

Art by Carmine Infantino & Walt Simonson

"The Mummy's Victory" ★★★1/2

Story by Roger McKenzie

Art by Rich Corben

"Till Hell Freezes Over!" ★★1/2

Story by Steve Englehart

Art by Carmine Infantino & Dick Giordano

"Home Stretch" ★★

Story by Roger McKenzie

Art by Leopold Sanchez

"Menace, Anyone...?" ★★1/2

Story by David Michelinie

Art by Carmine Infantino & Al Milgrom

"Relic" ★★

Story by Roger McKenzie 

Art by Carmine Infantino & John Severin

Legend has it that Willie Mountain sold his soul to get the Memphis Bearcats their pennant and, to this day, his ghost scampers around Evers Field. Now, looking back, the man who had been Willie's bat boy tends to agree with the rumors. He watched Willie put the Bearcats on his shoulders and take them from nothing to the number one Negro League team and on to the Championship Series. But all the while, there was something odd about Willie. Like when he talked to no one in particular and wore a worried look on his face.

Then, when the Bearcats took the Gators to game seven, Willie swung his bat and knocked in the winning run. But he never made it past first, falling flat and dying in the boy's arms. The devil had taken Willie. "Hitter's Wind!" is a great intro to this first (official) themed issue (well, I don't count the Christmas issues), a reminder of when baseball players hit the field for the love of the game rather than for the multi-million dollar contracts (one could argue that, even by 1976, that was still the driving force that pushed athletes). That innocence almost lifts itself off the page, thanks to the wondrous Infantino/Simonson art. As hard as I try, I don't see much Simonson in there (unlike last issue's Infantino/Wrightson collab). One could argue that writer Roger McKenzie could have held back a bit on the "Folks say Willie sold his soul" nudges and surprised us at the climax, but it doesn't ruin the fun.

Cloverton football fans are having a great time at the game, thanks to their star running back, Mike Brant, who's edging them toward their first winning season ever. Alas, Mike is hurt and sent to the locker room to recuperate. Meanwhile, across town in the Cloverton Museum of Natural History, the cheers from the stadium interrupt the centuries-long slumber of a mummy, Rah the Conqueror. 

Believing the "Rah"s to be a summoning, the bandaged beastie heads out of the museum for the stadium. Finding Mike Brant (who faints at the sight of the mummy) alone in the locker room, Rah dons the "armor of a warrior" and heads out onto the field. Astonished that Mike is back on the field, the fans roar as the mummy is given the ball and scores the winning touchdown. Later, no one believes Mike's story of a living mummy, and the football in Rah's tomb is explained away as a prank. 

A follow-up to Corben's "Terror Tomb" (in Creepy #61), which uses a different mummy for some reason (perhaps Khartuka wanted too much dough for the extra stunt work?) but retains the high-guffaw factor. "The Mummy's Victory" is just the right length for this sort of thing (five pages) and doesn't outstay its welcome. The damn thing should be in color, though.

The hockey game down at the Sportspalace becomes bedlam when Razorbacks star Drago ("I must break you!") inadvertently (but on purpose) kills one of the players on the other team. The dead guy's squeeze jumps onto the ice, pulls a gun, and lets fly a round that ends up in the scoreboard. No big deal, right? Well, it would be fine if the arena owners hadn't stashed all the electrical equipment in the scoreboard. Now, the palace doors are mechanically shut and the temperature is diving by the minute.

Drago tries to keep the fans busy in order to keep the blood circulating, but it's only a matter of time before the crowd becomes unruly and charges the ice. They're out for Drago's blood. He and the rest of the Razors hoof it into the locker room and bar the door. Within hours, all his teammates are dead, frozen solid. He opens the door and sees the bizarre scene before him: a frozen sea of people. Determined not to die, Drago begins skating around the rink. But hours later, when a crew finally dynamites the door and discovers the horror inside, they find Drago frozen in mid-pirouette, his would-be female assassin attached to his leg.

Steve Englehart is my favorite superhero funny book writer of all time. For my money, no one wrote better comics in the 1970s. But let's call "Till Hell Freezes Over!" what it is: an illogical and downright dumb entry in the Towering Inferno/Poseidon Adventure disaster flick sweepstakes. For all its faults (see below) and dicey art (let's get Pablo back in here to ink Carmine, quick), I still thought the story was a boatload of fun.

Hilarious that the Sportspalace owners went to such extremes to make sure no acts of terrorism would bring their house down but didn't think to install metal detectors. And that gal should have taken some lessons if she's going to use a pistol; she's standing right in front of Drago and yet manages to shoot the lights out instead. And why would she bring a gun to a hockey game in the first place? Obviously, the Warren Publishing proofreader was moonlighting at Razorbacks games (see "Vistors" on the scoreboard). Nine thousand fans turning up to a hockey game on a night where it's 27 below outside is a huge success, I'd say. Oh, and hockey is the worst of the four major sports. There, I said it.

Hunchbacked Maurice is the only human being who can tame and ride purebred Renegade. Since his owner, Pepperine, bought the horse for racing, that presents a problem. No jockey, no race. No race, no money. Pepperine decides to pay jockey/thug Keller to do away with his problem. Keller sets the barn on fire with Maurice inside, and hunchback and nag are both burned to death. A few nights later, it’s time for Pepperine to pay off Keller, but both have the double-cross on their mind. Keller puts a bullet in his boss’s brain but gets the big surprise when the fiery Maurice, mounted on an equally blazing Renegade, arrives to trample him. The End.

Since we’re privy to the big “shock surprise ending” from the get-go (thanks to a narrator who’s telling his story to a cop, who seems to know a whole lot more detail than he should), the climax of "Home Stretch" arrives with a large thud. There’s not one new twist to a time-worn plot. Has anyone out there ever seen a living, breathing hunchback? I don’t mean to be heartless, but there seems to be a large population of hunchbacks in the four-color world and I’ve never met one in “real life.”

American tennis star Edgar Enge becomes the first Black man to advance to the semi-finals in the South African Open, but the powers-that-be in the government think it unwise to allow Enge to become an icon for the oppressed. 

When Edgar turns down the Governor's bribe to throw the match, he's murdered and dumped on the side of the road. But Edgar has a friend, M'Salla, who dabbles in black magic and, to the Governor's surprise, Edgar turns up for his match the next day. Enge defeats his opponent and wins the tournament, elevating the spirits of the people of South Africa. The victory is short and bittersweet for Enge when he discovers that M'Salla has sacrificed his life so that the tennis star could live.

In the hands of Moench or McGregor, "Menace, Anyone...?" would be preachy to excess but, thanks to a lighter touch, the story emerges as a thought-provoking and tragic supernatural tale. David Michelinie, who would blossom into a very good writer for Marvel in the following decade, wisely foregoes the usual revenge scene (the governor is not robbed of his guts to craft the winning tennis racket) and, instead, focuses on M'Salla's sacrifice for the people. Pity Michelinie turned to Forry Ackerman for a title.

Coach Grady Foxx is the last human left in the future baseball league, where androids have taken over and the game has gotten a lot more violent. Grady's assistant manager, Jackie-7, was the first robot to play the game, and became the greatest player of all time. Now, years later, both are "Relics." But Jackie-7 decides to go out with a bang in one last at-bat. I like the Infantino/Severin art, but the story is obviously lifted from Richard Matheson's classic, "Steel," and that's all I could think of while reading it.

Joe Brancatelli broke the news to funny book Tarzan fans that DC had lost its license and, for a brief moment, ERB Inc. was going to enter the comic book publishing world. Overseen by comic book historian Mark Evanier, this might have been a glorious production but, alas, the ship never sailed. The following year, the license was handed to Marvel and they pumped out 29 ho-hum issues before the axe fell.-Peter

Jack-Who would have thought that an all-sports issue of Creepy would be so entertaining? I liked "Hitter's Wind!" best, probably because it's a schmaltzy baseball story with a hero modeled on Willie Mays. The Infantino/Simonson collaboration is kind of scratchy, but I still enjoyed the tale. Corben's goofy mummy is back in "The Mummy's Victory," and the artist is at his best with stories involving some humor. I didn't care about the characters in "Till Hell Freezes Over," so it was hard to get interested in the story, which is too long, at 11 pages. Still, Giordano does some nice cleanup work in his role as inker.

Sanchez is, once again, in full Jack Davis mode with "Home Stretch," a story that was slow out of the gate but picked up steam in the home stretch. The sprinkling of "choke" here and there in the word balloons made the EC connection clear. Edger Enge is a thinly veiled Arthur Ashe, and "Menace, Anyone...?" ends up being a well-done story of overcoming the odds with a little bit of native magic. "Relic" reminded me of "The Mighty Casey" from The Twilight Zone, but I also see the connection to "Steel." Severin's heavy inks really make his presence known and turn the art into a hybrid product. Overall, this is a fun issue, but I'm not sure how much Infantino I can take.

Enrich

Vampirella #56

"The Headless Horseman of All-Hallows Eve!" ★1/2

Story by Bill DuBay

Art by Jose Gonzalez

"Mute"★

Story by Bruce Jones

Art by Luis Bermejo

"Skruffy's Gargoyle!" ★★

Story by Bill DuBay

Art by Leopold Sanchez

"Cavalcade of Monsters" ★★

Story by Gerry Boudreau

Art by Ramon Torrents

"The Free Lancer" ★★

Story by Bruce Jones

Art by Jose Ortiz

Vampirella and Adam Van Helsing head to Sleepy Hollow, where the disappearance of six young women has the locals claiming the Headless Horseman is back. But V+A get to the bottom of the mystery quickly after Vampi offers herself up as bait. Turns out the girls were kidnapped by a pair of old skeezes who are selling the girls into slavery. Vampirella hangs the "Closed" sign on the business door.

The Vampirella series has never been known for its originality or depth of thought, but "The Headless Horseman of All-Hallow's Eve!" has to be the skimpiest plot the Drakulonian ever found herself embroiled in. There's no Headless Horseman (not even one of those Scooby-Doo holograms to throw the authorities off the scent), and once we're through skimming through the eight-page build-up, there's no real climax. Just two pervs and a secret lab. And what's with the vampires on the cover? If not for Gonzalez's fine art, this would rate a "Zero" in my book.

Young Turp has been "Mute" for quite some time, but now pretty Dr. Prescott has managed to pull him out of his shell. Turp had been in love with a girl named Crystal, but she only had eyes for handsome Billy Waxler. Turp had taken to following the couple around and, one day, he witnessed a terrible accident. Billy had been drunk and turned over the small boat they were in; Billy survived, but Crystal drowned. Turp found her body upstream and, um, finally familiarized himself with his love. Men searching for Crystal came across the startling sight and decided to mete out some Gothic justice, nailing Turp inside a coffin with a rotting corpse. 

When Turp was finally released from his oblong prison, his mind was mush. Enter Dr. Prescott, who is having her own problems with a skeezy colleague, Dr. Stuart, who harasses her under the guise of "caring," and constantly offers up weekends of pleasure. After a particularly grueling session with Turp, Prescott gives in and agrees to a complimentary trip to Miami, courtesy of her helpful colleague. Unfortunately, the pretty psychiatrist never boards the plane and, when Stuart does a little investigating, he travels to Turp's cabin, where he finds Ms. Prescott, stabbed to death. Turp cowers in the corner, whining that his doctor wouldn't lie still like the corpse in the coffin.

Or something like that. Unlike any other Bruce Jones script I can think of, I hated this dreary piece of crap. Yeah, I know, it's all deeper than the skeleton synopsis I've provided and followers will elbow me and advise me just how deep this all is. Forget it, it's lost on me. To me, this is just a meandering slog which ends with a 100% predictable climax. Was Prescott's voluntary presence in the cabin all in Turp's addled brain? Was she using some kind of psychiatric trick to bring the boy out of his shell, or were the panels of the gorgeous shrink lounging in a negligee imaginary? How would I know? There's no segue between Prescott's acceptance of the Miami trip and her appearance in the cabin. Obviously, Turp kidnapped the woman and transported her there. But is it obvious? I started "Mute" three times before I could finish its bloated, cliched (and badly illustrated) entirety. I deserve a Warren Award.

When little Skruffy dies and is laid out in his coffin in the chapel, brother Timmy asks his pop why a gargoyle looks down on the dead boy. Dad relates the history of gargoyles (stone statues that protect the dead from evil spirits), and the fascinated Timmy suggests a pajama party in the church that night. What could be more fun? As any dad would, Mr. Skruffy's dad agrees and the pair camp out in front of Skruffy's embalmed little shell, awaiting the fireworks.

Sure enough, three winged demons arrive late that night to feast on little Skruffy, but the gargoyle is ready for them. A battle royal ensues, but the trio is too much for our granite monster and Pop has to step in as back-up. But it's Skruffy himself who rises and defends himself from the beasts, thus ensuring his clear road to heaven. Pop sighs and admits he had one hell of a boy! Fluff it is, but semi-enjoyable fluff. "Skruffy's Gargoyle" has the feel of one of those oft-told tales around the campfire; purely predictable but harmless. The Sanchez art is a seesaw, with some startlingly good demons but cartoony humans. I question why a caring father would think a night spent with the corpse of a toddler would be a great idea for young Timmy. Perhaps we'll get the sequel from DuBay someday, where Timmy has grown up psychologically challenged and murders grieving parents at the church. 

It's mid-1940s Hollywood. At the behest of a pretty young actress, private dick Richard Midnight investigates the strange goings-on at the set of a cheap-jack horror flick starring a vampire, a werewolf, and a Frankenstein's monster. When one of the actors is found dead, his head severed from his body and garlic stuffed in his mouth, Midnight begins to take this monster business seriously. In the end, the dick sorts out the mystery and wins the girl.

There's not much to "Cavalcade of Monsters," but I think that's Boudreau's point (at least, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt); he has a good ol' time parodying the Universal monster rallies and hardboiled fiction at the same time. Boudreau's forced analogies (Suddenly it clicked like an empty revolver...) are on the money as is the full-page expository. You think Hammett is fine prose? Maybe, but he was given over to hammy prose and windy wind-ups now and then as well.

The most popular television show on Deimos is "This is Your Death," a rip-snortin' reality show which pays a contestant ten thousand bucks a week for the "rest of their life" and then telecasts their death. Jeannie Roberts is the latest to be roped into the get-rich-quick scheme, but her brother wants her to back out. Too late, they discover that the contract Jeannie signed is iron-clad and unbreakable. Is there any way they can keep Jeannie from providing Deimos with an hour of fun-filled, bloody mayhem?

I'm not sure my synop for "The Free-Lancer" makes much sense (unless you've read the story), but then the tale made very little sense to me. There are shifting character perspectives with little to no warning (and, to make matters worse, the characters Jose Ortiz draws all look alike), as well as gaps in the narrative. I had to reread a couple of pages to make sure they weren't printed out of order. The rules for the game show make little to no sense; the contestants are told they will be paid every week for the rest of their lives, but all the characters who face extinction seem to have random execution dates. And the climactic reveal is just silly. All in all, not an issue of Vampirella I'd slap into a Mylar bag for safekeeping.-Peter

Jack-"Mute" is one of those rare Warren horror stories that succeeds in the difficult task of running parallel narratives that join at the end. The suspense builds to a satisfying conclusion, and the art by Bermejo fits the needs to the story. Gonzalez's art does save "The Headless Horseman," which happily features fewer panels with Vampi posed for the camera and more of a narrative flow. The story is fairly lucid, but I could not see the point of dressing up like goblins to kidnap women. "Skruffy's Gargoyle!" also benefits from nice, shadowy art by Bermejo, though the story is weak and the climax a cliche. Unfortunately, the last two tales in this issue are the worst: "Cavalcade of Monsters" has art that is basically a series of swipes from movie stills and a terribly written attempt at private eye narration, while "The Free Lancer" almost gets beyond the bad taste of its basic premise but ends with a thud as Jones resorts to the copout twist.

THE TOP TEN WARRENS OF 1975-1976

Peter

Best Script: Jim Stenstrum, "Thrillkill" (Creepy #75)

Best Art: Bernie Wrightson, "Cool Air" (Eerie #62)

Best All-Around Story: "Thrillkill"
Best Cover> Ken Kelly, Creepy #80
Worst Story: Budd Lewis/Martin Salvador, "The Nature of the Beast" (Creepy #78)

The Ten Best Stories

1 "Thrillkill"
2 "The Christmas Visit" (Creepy #68)
3 "Super Abnormal Phenomena..." (Creepy #79)
4 "An Unprovoked Attack on a Hilton Hotel (Creepy #73)
5 "The Muck Monster" (Creepy #70)
6 "The Caul" (Eerie #64)
7 "Cool Air"
8 "In Darkness It Shall End" (Creepy #76)
9 "Clarice" (Creepy #77)
10 "Highsong" (Eerie #76)

Jack

Best Script: Budd Lewis, "Death's Dark Colors" (Eerie #67)
Best Art: Bernie Wrightson, "Cool Air"
Best All-Around Story: "Cool Air"
Best Cover> Ken Kelly, Eerie #74
Worst Story: Budd Lewis/Joaquin Blazquez, "The Pit in the Living Room Floor" (Creepy #79)

The Ten Best Stories

1 "Cool Air"
2 "Forgive Us Our Trespasses" (Eerie #62)
3 "Stumpful of Granddaddies!" (Eerie #63)
4 "Daddy and the Pie" (Eerie #64)
5 "Coming Storm... A Killing Rain!" (Eerie #65)
6 "Death's Dark Colors"
7 "Half Walk"(Eerie #68)
8 "The Believer" (Creepy #77)
9 "First Snow, Magic Snow" (Creepy #77)
10 "In Deep" (Creepy #83)

Next Week...
The Return of 
An Old Favorite!

The Hitchcock Project-Lewis Davidson Part Three: The World's Oldest Motive [10.25] and Wrapup

by Jack Seabrook

What is "The World's Oldest Motive"? An answer is suggested by the story of the same title, written by Larry M. Harris, which appeared in the December 1959 issue of Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine.

Philip Devize may be a wealthy, middle-aged, married man, but that hasn't stopped a young, beautiful woman named Flora Arnold from spending evenings with him. He thinks of murdering his wife, who married him for his money and won't think of divorce, but, as an avid reader of detective stories, Philip knows that he would never get away with it. Fortunately, a man named Schustak walks into his office one day, aware of his predicament and prepared to render a service.

Schustak says that he belongs to a well-known organization and that he can dispose of Mrs. Devize for a fee. Schustak leaves his card with Philip and, in the days that follow, Flora encourages Philip to explore the offer. He telephones Schustak and visits the man at his office, where he balks at the fee of $10,000. Schustak is well aware of Philip's wealth, however, and soon the deal is done.

Philip waits with Flora before going home to confirm that his wife is dead. Yet when Philip arrives home, his wife is very much alive! Meanwhile, Schustak and Flora agree that Philip was an easy man to bilk out of a $5000 deposit for a murder that was never going to happen.

Henry Jones as Alex Morrow

The surprise ending of the story seems to say that the world's oldest motive is not love, it is money. Larry M. Harris (1933-2002), the story's author, was best known as a science fiction writer under the name Laurence M. Janifer. He wrote short stories and novels from the early 1950s until his death and was also an editor, film reviewer, and pianist.

Larry Davidson was assigned to adapt Harris's story for the small screen. His previous teleplays were either based on his own original teleplay for another series ("See the Monkey Dance") or an original teleplay ("Misadventure"), so "The World's Oldest Motive" was the first time he was asked to adapt another writer's work for the small screen. Had the series continued into another season, it is possible that Davidson might have contributed more teleplays. However, this was to be his last for The Alfred Hitchcock Hour.

Expanding a seven-page story into an hour-long TV show requires new characters and new scenes, and Davidson provided both. The TV show begins with Alex Morrow (as Philip Devize has been renamed) in his office, more interested in his stamp collection than his law practice. After his wife telephones and he claims to be working late, we see him dancing with a much younger woman at a dance club called the Casa a Go-Go. The sight of Henry Jones (as Alex) dancing the Jerk, a fad dance that was popular at the time the show was filmed, is very funny, and makes it clear at the outset that the show will be played for laughs. Alex is nervous when Schustak walks by and stares at him; he thinks that the stranger is following him.

A loud acquaintance named Jamieson stops by Alex's table and lets slip that he is married; Fiona (as Flora has been renamed) storms out of the club and Alex rushes after her. On the sidewalk outside, she tells him that their relationship is over, but he assures her that he will find a solution. Alex again sees Schustak watching him.

Linda Lawson as Fiona

At home, Alex's wife, Angela, who does not appear in the short story, is portrayed as frumpy, in contrast with the young, beautiful Fiona. Her hair in curlers and covered with a hair net, Angela is wrapped in a shapeless, quilted robe, making eggnog before bedtime and insulting her husband. They bicker about their unhappy marriage and she laughs at the idea that Alex has a girlfriend. Angela denies hiring a man to follow him, though she admits that a man who said he was an insurance salesman came around asking questions.

Back at the office the next evening, Alex takes a call from Fiona, who says she does not want to see him. Schustak appears, cornering Alex in the bathroom and following Alex into his office to make his sales pitch. There is a long dialogue scene between the two men, after which Alex visits Fiona and finds her by the pool outside her apartment complex. She tries to avoid him and he ends up falling into the pool, fully dressed. Again, her youth and beauty are contrasted with his wife's appearance after there is a cut back to the Morrow home. Angela receives a shock from a faulty plug, which suggests a method for murder, and she admits to her husband that she cheated on him when she was younger. Angela slaps Alex before he can slap her, increasing his humiliation.

Robert Loggia as Schustak

Angered, his pride hurt, Alex telephones Schustak and arranges a meeting. The men meet on a golf course, where they discuss Angela's murder; the price has been raised to $15,000--$7500 now and $7500 on completion. Alex visits Fiona and explains his plan, but she has an unexpected reaction and tells Alex that he must stop Schustak or she will not have anything more to do with him.

Alex meets Schustak in the man's car and pays him the remaining $7500, but it is too late to stop the process of killing Angela. Schustak tells Alex that he must rush home and prevent Angela from taking fatal pills that have been substituted for her vitamins. Alex hurries home and finds Angela alive and well. Realizing he has been duped, Alex telephones Schustak, who answers and hands the telephone to Fiona. They are packed for a long trip and she promises to send Alex postcards with interesting stamps for his collection. She hangs up and tells Schustak that they should be able to retire soon; they have been running this con game for five years. At home, Alex is crestfallen and resigned to his future with Angela.

Kathleen Freeman as Angela Morrow

Comparing the TV show to the short story reveals the addition of Alex's interest in his stamp collection, in which his life savings are tied up; the valuable collection means more to him than his wife. There is no mention of his love of detective stories; in the short story, this is how Flora and Schustak know that he will be willing to believe the murder plot. The dance club scene is added and provides humor while underlining the age difference between Alex and Fiona. In the TV show, Fiona pretends to be unaware that Alex is married, and when she finds out, she wants to break up with him. This adds urgency to Alex's desire to be rid of Angela. Schustak follows Alex before appearing at his office, adding mystery and suspense to the early scenes. The scenes at home with Angela are new, and the contrast between her and Fiona is both humorous and pathetic as it underlines the married couple's broken relationship.

Dee J. Thompson as Miss Rice

The scene by the pool is also new, and having Alex fall in fully clothed adds slapstick humor. Angela's confession to Alex that she cheated on him in the past helps drive his decision to go forward with the plan to murder her. He then meets with Schustak on a golf course rather than at the man's office, in a satire of similar meetings that occur daily in the world of business. In the short story, Flora is supportive of the plan to kill Philip's wife, while in the TV show, Fiona is aghast at the suggestion. Her insistence that Alex prevent the murder adds more suspense and allows Schustak to collect the second half of his fee. At the end, in the TV version, Alex telephones and speaks to Schustak and Fiona after he has been conned; this underlines what happened to him and demonstrates through dialogue that it is a pattern, not a one-time event.

Joseph Mell as Jamieson

"The World's Oldest Motive" features a solid cast and the humorous approach to the story works well, though the show drags a bit in spots and shows the pitfalls of expanding a thin plot into an hour-long episode. It shares similar themes with Davidson's prior teleplays for The Alfred Hitchcock Hour, including a love triangle and murder as a proposed solution.

The show is directed by Harry Morgan (1915-2011), who was born Harry Bratsberg and who was best known as an actor. He was on stage, in movies, or on TV for over sixty years, from the 1930s through the 1990s, starring in four long-running TV series, including M*A*S*H from 1974 to 1983. He does not have many credits as a director and he only worked in this capacity on TV. He directed this and one other episode of The Alfred Hitchcock Hour; he also appeared as an actor in the episode, "Anniversary Gift."

As Alex Morrow, Henry Jones (1912-1999) is wonderful, fully embodying the role of a henpecked, middle-aged man who prefers his hobby and his girlfriend to his wife. Jones won a Tony Award for his 1958 role in "Sunrise at Campobello" and was a fixture in character roles in film and on TV from 1943 to 1995. He was on countless shows, including The Twilight Zone, Thriller, Night Gallery, and The Night Stalker, and he appeared on the Hitchcock show six times, including "De Mortuis." He was also in Hitchcock's classic, Vertigo (1958).

Linda Lawson (1936- ) is suitably sexy as Fiona; born Linda Gloria Spaziani, she was on screen from 1958 to 2005, mainly in television roles. She was in the film Night Tide (1961) and she was seen on the Hitchcock show three times, including "Three Wives Too Many."

Rounding out the leads is Robert Loggia (1930-2015) as Schustak. Trained at the Actors Studio, he appeared on screen from 1951 to 2019, including starring in a spy series, T.H.E. Cat, during the 1966-1967 TV season. Loggia was featured in four episodes of the Hitchcock show, including "The Money."

In supporting roles:

• Kathleen Freeman (1919-2001) as Angela, Alex's wife; she started out as a child in vaudeville, had a long screen career that lasted from 1948 to 2003, and did extensive work as a voice actress. She appeared on Batman and The Night Stalker, and she was on one other episode of The Alfred Hitchcock Hour--"You'll Be the Death of Me," which starred Robert Loggia.
• Dee J. Thompson as Miss Rice, Alex's secretary; she was on screen from 1949 to 1967 and appeared in six episodes of the Hitchcock series, including "Three Wives Too Many," with Linda Lawson.
• Joseph Mell (1915-1977) as Jamieson, the boor in the dance club; born Joseph Mellovitz, he was a familiar face on TV from 1951 to 1977 and also appeared on The Twilight Zone.

Watch "The World's Oldest Motive" here.

Harris's short story appears to have been adapted for German television in 1980 as "Wer anderen eine Grube grabt." The IMDb credits give as sources novels by Larry M. Hansen and Stanley Ellin, but one of the characters is listed as "Schustak," so this may be another adaptation of "The World's Oldest Motive."

The story was also adapted for the remake of Alfred Hitchcock Presents in the 1980s, airing as a 30-minute episode titled "World's Oldest Motive" on USA on April 11, 1987. This version eschews humor for suspense and a frantic pace; the main character's wife is less of a caricature and tries to reconcile with her husband, causing him to regret his actions and try to prevent her murder. The show pales in comparison with the version aired on The Alfred Hitchcock Hour.

Thanks to Peter Enfantino for providing a copy of the short story!

Sources:

The FICTIONMAGS Index, www.philsp.com/homeville/FMI/0start.htm.

Harris, Larry M. "The World's Oldest Motive." Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, Dec. 1959, 70-76.

Grams, Martin, and Patrik Wikstrom. The Alfred Hitchcock Presents Companion. OTR Pub., 2001. 

IMDb, IMDb.com, www.imdb.com/.

Stephensen-Payne, Phil. "Galactic Central." Galactic Central, philsp.com/. 

Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, www.wikipedia.org/.

"The World's Oldest Motive." The Alfred Hitchcock Hour, season 10, episode 25, NBC, 12 April 1965.

"World's Oldest Motive." Alfred Hitchcock Presents, season 2, episode 12, USA, 11 April 1987.

*  *  *  *  *

Lewis Davidson on The Alfred Hitchcock Hour: An Overview and Episode Guide

The three episodes of The Alfred Hitchcock Hour with teleplays by Lewis Davidson aired between November 1964 and April 1965, during the show's final season.

"See the Monkey Dance" was first broadcast on British TV as part of the anthology series, Suspense. That episode is now lost and it is possible that Davidson used essentially the same teleplay for The Alfred Hitchcock Hour. The American version features strong performances by Roddy McDowall and Efrem Zimbalist, Jr., in a story of adultery and murder set in Wales that features many twists and turns.

"Misadventure" is an original teleplay by Davidson. This episode also has excellent performances by Barry Nelson and Lola Albright and is similar to "See the Monkey Dance" in that it deals with a love triangle and murder, though this time the events play out in suburban America.

Finally, "The World's Oldest Motive" adapts a short story and takes a comedic approach. Adultery and murder are still the topics at hand, but this time they are played for laughs and no killing takes place.

Taken together, the three episodes display an interest in unhappy marriages and adultery, with the storytelling approaches either purely comic or a mix of comedy and murder. Davidson shows a talent for clever dialogue and complicated plotting, though his original efforts are more impressive than his adaptation.

EPISODE GUIDE-LEWIS DAVIDSON ON THE ALFRED HITCHCOCK HOUR

Episode title-"See the Monkey Dance" [10.5]
Broadcast date-9 November 1964
Teleplay by-Lewis Davidson
Based on "See the Monkey Dance," a teleplay by Lewis Davidson

First print appearance-none
Notes
Watch episode-here
Available on DVD?-no

Episode title-"Misadventure" [10.8]
Broadcast date-7 December 1964
Original teleplay by-Lewis Davidson
First print appearance-none

Notes
Watch episode-here
Available on DVD?-no

Episode title-"The World's Oldest Motive" [10.25]
Broadcast date-12 April 1965
Teleplay by-Lewis Davidson

Based on "The World's Oldest Motive" by Larry M. Harris
First print appearance-Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, December 1959

Notes
Watch episode-here
Available on DVD?-no

In two weeks: Our coverage of Sarrett Rudley begins with "The Baby Sitter," starring Thelma Ritter and Mary Wickes!

Listen to Al Sjoerdsma discuss "Fog Closing In" here!

Listen to Annie and Kathryn discuss "The Indestructible Mr. Weems" here!

Batman in the 1980s Issue 48: April/May 1984

 

The Dark Knight in the 1980s
by Jack Seabrook &
Peter Enfantino

Hannigan/Giordano

Batman #370

"Up Above the Sin So High..."

Story by Doug Moench

Art by Don Newton & Alfredo Alcala

With Batman still away in Montreal, Robin makes the questionable decision to patrol the mean streets of Gotham City on his own. He sees two hoods busting up a video arcade with crowbars and intervenes, learning that they work for Dr. Fang, who is displeased that the arcade's owner procured his machines from another distributor. Robin beats up the duo but they escape, so he follows them.

Meanwhile, Dr. Fang is working out and fancies himself a cross between Muhammad Ali, Bruce Lee, and Laurence Olivier. Harvey Bullock pays the bad doctor a visit and agrees to commit some unexplained nefarious acts for a share of the money. The next day, Bruce Wayne returns home but is too busy to listen to Jason Todd, who is anxious to update his mentor on the fruits of his patrol the night before. Alfred and Julia join them for a barbecue that is interrupted by Harvey Bullock, who claims to be working both sides of the street and suggests that the Wayne Foundation can help bring down Dr. Fang.

Batman and Robin head to Dr. Fang's location, fight off a squad of goons, and Dr. Fang beats a hasty retreat after nearly sinking his chompers into the Boy Wonder's throat. Dr. Fang heads to the dentist for a quick fang repair, while Batman asks Robin to explain what happened the night before.

Jack: I'm having trouble buying Dr. Fang as a serious adversary for the Caped Crusader, despite his self-proclaimed fighting expertise--he doesn't seem particularly menacing, and his big plan seems to be to take over the burgeoning video game business. Jason's inability to get Bruce's attention seems unlikely, as does the hint that Bruce may have romantic feelings for Alfred's daughter. C'mon, Wayne, calm down! Does every sweet young thing represent a potential conquest? The art, as usual, is good, but this issue is a letdown after some of the stories we've read from Moench lately. The focus on video games, which were hugely popular at the time, is corny, and what's with the title, "Up Above the Sin So High..."? I don't see the relevance to the story. It seems like the kind of dopey wordplay Doug would have engaged in while at Warren.

Peter: Yeah, this was weak. The video game dialogue and references to then-current (and now, I'm sorry to say, forgotten) Olympians sure date this one. There's also way too much whiny Jason, and the plot goes nowhere. I also thought Bruce's horn-doggin' right in front of Alfred was in bad taste, but perhaps Wayne is actually just a spoiled billionaire who fights crime and gets everything he wants now and then. Let's put this one in the rear-view and hope for better adventures ahead.

Colan/Giordano

Detective Comics #537

"Down Below"

Story by Doug Moench

Art by Gene Colan & Bob Smith

While searching Gotham for Dr. Fang, Batman hears the disturbing wail of "Murder!" Ascending from the sewers, a man approaches the Dark Knight and pleads with the hero to accompany him back into his home "Down Below." Wading his way through several corridors of floating filth (yecccch!), Batman arrives at the strange man's camp atop a dry piece of ground. There, the man pulls a body from below the slime and Batman surmises that it must be one of Dr. Fang's deceased rivals, dumped unceremoniously by Fang's henchmen.

The Caped Crusader's new friend identifies himself as Sixto Morales, a fugitive wanted for murder in Mexico. Morales stresses that the man he killed had murdered Sixto's wife and that the act had been committed in the throes of madness. Batman nods his head in sympathy but tells Morales that a human cannot live down below; Morales merely beckons the hero to follow him. In the next chamber lies an elaborate matchstick recreation of the village Sixto Morales had fled, a place he'd love to return to but knows he cannot. Surely, Batman would understand and keep his trap shut so he can live out his days in peace and quiet?

Just Bleccccch!

Just as Batman is about to answer, three thugs turn the corner, the same trio responsible for the corpse in Sixto's living room. With some help from his new friend, Batman wipes the execrable floor with the killers, but Sixto's matchstick world is wiped away as the result of a heavy downpour above. Batman assures Sixto that there's a place above for a man with such skilled hands. 

Peter: In the business, we call this a "human interest" story, but "boring" is a good, one-word summary. All I could think about was the floaty stuff and the really vile secretions surrounding the characters. In one scene, Batman submerges himself to better surprise the trio of goons. All I could think was, in this instance at least, he could have done without the risk of hepatitis and just jumped the dopes when they arrived. At the climax, Bats returns to Wayne Manor and engages in a conversation with Robin; Jason never once asks, "What the hell stinks so bad?" 

Jack: Colan is the perfect choice to illustrate a story set mostly in the sewers, and the relative absence of Dr. Fang from the proceedings makes me wonder if Moench realized he was a weak villain. The tale of Sixto is well done, and how about the covers on this and Batman #370? Are we entering a Golden Age of Bat-covers?

"Strike First!"

Story by Joey Cavalieri

Art by Shawn McManus

To his dismay, Oliver Queen discovers his landlord is evicting everyone in his building. The Green Arrow is not one to give up without a fight, so he talks his neighbors into a peaceful (televised) protest. Seems the landlord has an ulterior motive, one that goes back several decades, and he sends his goons in to change some minds. The Green Arrow saves the day and exposes the evil landlord's dirty past.

Peter: Though its wrap-up is quick and convoluted, I liked "Strike First!" for what it was: a nice, compact entertainment with some decent art. That opening, with Ollie sifting through a box of LPs he's found out on the curb and slowly realizing that they're his, is a hoot! Shawn McManus has become something of a low-rent Val Mayerik over the last few issues; as Jack says below, the guy is hit and miss. I do think the Arrow could become a very boring superhero unless he's propped up with some good stories and a supporting cast.

Jack: Not bad for a seven-page backup story! McManus inks his owns pencils, and the result is uneven; there are some panels where characters' faces are stretched to bizarre lengths. Still, the plot about apartment-dwellers being driven out so building owners can convert the spaces into condominiums, combined with the look at the arcade scene in Batman #370, is an interesting reminder of some things that were happening in the middle of the Reagan era.

Hannigan/Giordano

Batman #371

"Nine Cradles of Death"

Story by Doug Moench

Art by Don Newton & Alfredo Alcala

A prisoner named Blake lies in a catatonic state in his bunk at the state pen, seemingly unaware that his cellmate, Collins, talks in his sleep about 50 grand that is hidden in the catacombs. A catalog for the Gotham Museum's exhibit of an Ancient Egyptian statute rouses Blake, who offers a wager to Collins: if he can steal the statute and outwit Batman, he gets the $50K; if not, Collins gets Blake's magical Catman outfit. Collins agrees and Blake soon escapes, though Collins is stuck in prison.

The next day, the Bat-Signal summons Batman to see Commissioner Gordon, who tells him that Catman broke into police headquarters, stole his Catman suit from the evidence room, and left Batman a note that challenges the Caped Crusader to catch the Feline Fury. Batman relates Catman's history to Robin while they search for him in Gotham. The next day, Jason comes home from school to tell Batman about a field trip to the museum where the Egyptian statue is on exhibit.

The Dynamic Duo race to the museum, where Robin is soon caught in a giant Cat's Cradle. Batman faces off against Catman in the Hall of Warfare and appears on the verge of meeting his doom. The next day, Collins reads a fake newspaper headline that says Catman stole the statute and defeated Batman. It's a ploy to get Collins to lead them to the missing loot. Collins sits in his cell, carving a gun to make his escape.

Jack: "Nine Cradles of Death" is the kind of Batman story I enjoy, from the big, Jerry Robinson-ish splash page showing a giant Catman towering over a tiny Batman, to the seemingly endless litany of puns on the word "Cat." Moench must have been flipping through his dictionary when he wrote this story! The art by Newton and Alcala is solid once again, and the subplots are kept to a minimum: Vickie Vale is jealous of Julia, who does seem to have the hots for Bruce; Dr. Fang places a bet on a boxing match.

Peter: This was obviously a Moench-homage to the grand old DC of the 1960s, and it succeeded brilliantly (in fact, it's better than most of the 1960s DC hero comics I've read). I loved the Three's Company-style dialogue between Vicki and Julia, and the Dr. Fang interlude was just enough to get me interested. Points also to Moench for using Catman as a cat-alyst for the second part of the story, which might not even involve the 14th-tier villain. The climax, where Catman turns in his bunk mate ("I can't sleep, might as well vocalize the whereabouts of my valuable stash!"), is the cherry on top. Lots of fun.

Colan/Giordano

Detective Comics #538

"Clothes Make the Cat(man)"

Story by Doug Moench

Art by Gene Colan & Bob Smith

Convicted cat burglar Maul Collins receives a letter that he believes was written by his escaped cellmate, Catman, informing him that he's still searching for Collins's hidden booty. The Cat gives Collins his address and tells him to come up and see him sometime. The letter invigorates the con and he decides to make a break, whittling a bar of soap into a very convincing handgun. Collins takes a guard hostage, steals his car, and then dumps him on the side of the road outside of Gotham. Now, on to the stash!

Little does the felon know he's being played... Catman has cut himself a deal in exchange for info on Collins's stash (though that doesn't seem to be of much help), and Gordon and Batman have "allowed" the mug to make his escape. When Collins sneaks into the Catman's address and espies him sleeping, he steals the man's costume, a uniform which supposedly holds supernatural powers. Once Collins exits the apartment, Batman rises from the bed and follows.

Along the way, Collins seems to be testing the mettle of the suit, risking his life, and exiting each peril without injury. Little does he know that the Batman is rescuing the dope time and time again. Collins enters the cave where he has hidden the jewelry from his last robbery; Batman follows, not aware that the opening is just on the other side of... Wayne Manor! A rockslide buries the Dark Knight, but not before he pushes Collins to safety. The erosion has uncovered a back door into the Batcave; Collins enters and is amazed by the sights that surround him. Meanwhile, the rocks have buried Batman and, as he's digging himself out, he comes across the stolen loot.

When the escaped con starts messing with "volatile chemicals" in the Batcave, Batman must exit the shadows and explain the whole convoluted mess to the bewildered Collins. Robin enters to explain that he's found the jewels, and the boys deliver the faux Catman to Commissioner Gordon. When they return to Wayne Manor, Bruce finds a very jealous Vicki Vale staring down Julia; Bruce looks at Jason and shrugs. What, me worry?

Peter: This is one of the dumbest entries in the Batman comics of the 1980s we've yet encountered, full to the brim with coincidences and highly unlikely scenarios. What kind of deal did the real Catman get for his ratting-out of Collins ("He said something about catacombs. That's all I know!")? Why the heck would Gordon and Bats put a guard (and potentially the whole city) at risk to follow this guy to his stash? Do they attempt this with every cat burglar? How is it that only Robin and Gordon realize the cave is right on the other side of "the ridge" behind Wayne Manor? How could Bats not know he was heading into the backside of the Batcave? There's a switch on the wall, ferchrissakes! The whole story's back is broken by inanities, yet Doug still managed to entertain me. "Clothes Make the (Cat)man" is not brain food, but it's fun, light, entirely forgettable and, perhaps most pleasing of all, a one-off. 

Jack: It seems like a questionable plan to let a felon break out of prison, put on a super-villain's costume, and bumble through Gotham, all in order to have him lead Batman to some hidden loot. Even worse is the fact that Batman has to save him repeatedly, putting the Dark Knight and others in jeopardy. When the crook happens into the Batcave, his big idea is to vandalize it! The art is very good, and it carries this otherwise lightweight story.

"Three Years Ago Today"

Story by Joey Cavalieri

Art by Shawn McManus & Pablo Marcos

The Green Arrow busts a gun-running operation down at the docks. Meanwhile, we learn why the Arrow hates guns so much. Three years before, reporter Oliver Queen was sent on assignment to interview a reclusive rock star who'd just cut his newest album. As Ollie meets the musician at the gates of the man's mansion, a "fan" approaches, shoots, and kills the former Beatle rock star. 

Peter: Since this was written in approximately December 1983, that would be exactly three years after the murder of John Lennon. It's admirable that Joey Cavalieri would try to speak out on the sins of handguns in America and also pay tribute (albeit a late one) to someone he, ostensibly, held in high regard. Unfortunately, there's not much substance to "Three Years Ago Today" and its two-timeline framework is confusing; it's only in the final frame that we understand what these two events have in common. 

Jack: I had to read this one twice to understand the story structure because it's so poorly presented. Marcos's inks don't help much with taming the oddly elongated faces drawn by McManus. This strip is going nowhere fast.

Peter: Circulation numbers were out this month. We usually just print the numbers and previous tallies, but I thought it might be eye-opening to reprint the circ box just as a reminder to how convoluted the business of numbers could be. Wallow through the mud and you'll discover that Detective Comics was moving 80,725 units per month in 1983 (down from 85, 049 the previous year) and Batman 97,741 (also down from the previous 108,234). These numbers would only grow worse through the 1980s.

Next Week...
The Return of an Old Friend +
The Boys Pick Their Faves From 1975-1976!